Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story by a reader whom we’ll call, “Cindy21.” She was with a man who manipulated and swindled her for 10 years, and she is embarrassed about falling for his lies.
My story runs the course of 10 years. It involves two cancers, a motor vehicle accident, MS and much heartache.
He stole my home and had me finance a business that I was 95% owner to 5% and when my daughter was critically ill and I had no money he threw me out. He said if I didn’t sign a contract for $60,000 to buy me out of a home I had over $100,000 and a business that at the time was grossing 300,000, that as he put “If you don’t do it you get nothing b*tch.”
Over the years I cooked, cleaned and cared for his family. He did not allow any of my family over and we never went out with friends, they all saw through him. I ran the business and he gave me very little money. He paid cash for 2 surgeries for himself and a lot of his son’s college tuition.
After the contract we got back together and then split up numerous times. I didn’t even get paid during the time the contract was being paid. People tried to warn me I was only there to run the business. Because of my injuries in the car accident I received a lot of money, which of course he took some.
Why did I believe him?
Everyone was right he was still cheating and lying and every time we split he was online dating the same day. I cannot answer why I always believed him when he said he was sorry and would never do it again. He evolves his lying and uses tactics to convince me.
Numerous times he said he knows how unfair taking the house and business was and every time he wants to get back together he texts that he will pay me back. Verbally and in text I have proof. He promises he will never see other woman and all the other love BS.
The last time I was with him he sold the house I purchased and bought a really nice big home. His daughter is working for him off the books and collecting food stamps driving a Tesla.
He begged for me to come back and I went out with him a number of times, he as always asked me to help organize the business and clean the house. I did like an idiot clean the house and found out that night he had a woman that he was dating over. I really think he enjoys hurting people, he said he knows he does it but is going to stop.
He has been texting me since Feb 14th with all the same lies, paying me back, he is not dating anyone and he feels so bad of all the pain he has inflicted on me. This time I have not answered back. I am seeking out a lawyer because now I have proof he owes me money.
Also I am pretty sure many of the woman will talk about how I didn’t know he was with them and he just needed time to leave me. While he was telling me how we were going to build a business and a house and profit greatly. I know he has done this to other people just not this large.
One time he threw me out because he wanted me to steal a flashlight at a job site and I said no. He cheated and lied multiple times probably too many to count.
His cheating: the highlights
The highlights are going dancing with a woman with his friend and daughter while I was home with surgical drains from breast cancer and babysitting his son.
Another he said we needed a Van for the business and how much money we would make if I bought this van. The same night as the purchase he made up a story about a job I couldn’t go on; he went to meet a woman.
One time he had his nephew call about a family party that again was just him and his son. Found out through an email that he brought his son told him and went out on a date. Meanwhile his son and daughter moved into my home because they were bankrupt and homeless. Sweet guy, right.
He also left me at the hospital after I had surgery and my poor daughter was sick from a relapse of MS and she was going to drive until her friend came and picked me up. One time after my accident I was very ill and had to go to emergency room, he left and took his son to a Christmas party.
He has 3 felonies, 2 bankruptcies and cheated on property tax by lying that his Father lived there. He has many times collected food stamps but hid income. His daughter and him would laugh about when they lived in AZ that they were eating lobster while on welfare until I told him that was sick. His entire family is aware of his behavior and they condone it. Then again his brother slept with his wife.
I am embarrassed about falling for the lies
I can’t explain how and why I was drawn to him for so many years especially knowing the horrific things he is capable of. I am embarrassed about falling for his lies. I just thank God my family was always there for me especially the times he tossed me out with no money. I wish I never hurt them by being with him especially my daughters. I know I sound bitter and upset and realize I need to get counseling to heal.
There are so many more terrible things that had happened; even his Mother and daughter were horrible and mean. His daughter had hit me once and sent a text threatening to murder me because I found a scale and pot in his son’s room. One of them took my phone and erased it because I told him it was a crime.
Both his Mother and daughter did this cruel exaggerated laughing and singing whenever I was hurt by his actions. They would love doing anything to hurt me more. They also would get on the phone with random people and tell them what happened. Even his own sister called her niece evil. I am sure you put it together that they are all mentally ill and the 3 of them have great difficulties making and keeping friends.
There is so much more and I know I am rambling but it is kinda hard to type and proofread on this, lol. I have tried to write my story before but there is so much that happened I have trouble putting all down.
As I said, I am embarrassed about falling for his lies. If someone told me this happened to them I would have said are you kidding you fell for that or you took him back. I lost a lot of good friends because of him, luckily they have reached out again now that I am no longer with him.
This time I feel more like my old self but cannot understand how I could allow him to affect me and my family for so long. I do feel the worst for my younger daughter who I hurt and missed valuable years being with her; instead I convinced myself and he told me that working those long hours would ensure I could help and take care of her. He never cared what happened to her or me, I realize 100% now.
Even seeing how MS is life robbing and she had such bad relapses one year she was hospitalized 4-6 times. She is on disability and he still robbed from me. Thank God she started an experimental treatment about 2 years ago and has had such improvement she may even be able to go back to school and find as she says a real job.
Rambling again. As I said there is so much and I have trouble putting it all together.