Lovefraud received the following email from a Canadian woman whom we’ll call “Martha2025.” She believes that her disordered ex was poisoning her with antifreeze.
I was in the relationship for 10 years. I never knew anything about narcissists, after I was out of it, a Tik Tok video by a woman came up. This is where I became aware of what had happened.
I believe he was poisoning me with antifreeze.
Waited for three years
I met him at my work, and asked him out, never wanting a relationship just a date. He became my mate though in 2 weeks. I had held out for 3 years not moving fast, or living together, or saying I love you, and then I made the move into his place.
For those 3 years before moving I was so sick, doctors said I had gout, because my proline levels where off the chart, so nothing else made sense. He always made me my tea, or drinks.
We had gotten chihuahua puppies, which where what his ex loved, and had. Apparently he was frauded online buying my toy pom puppy.
So I made the move into his house. I rented out my home, my ex-husband lived in our family home, so all was good.
It was so horrible after I moved in with him ignoring me, sleeping in his garage, saying he didn’t like my cooking. I moved out after 2 weeks.
Relationship continued
The relationship still continued though, I didn’t understand why, because I was always the one to leave when it was too bad and not go back. But it continued for 7 more years, just us living in our own homes.
At times I’d notice my tea tasting weird, he’d say it must’ve been the sanitizer at the water filling station (bottled water we’d buy and you clean them out with a sanitizer provided).
He was not physically fists abusive, as he stopped drinking after a Halloween party where my girlfriend saw him restraining me physically. I know then he didn’t want to be like that and get caught, cause he would eventually beat me. So he stuck with weed, and other things around me.
He was a 300 lb man so after sex he’d sometimes lay on me (140lbs) full weight until I couldn’t breathe.
We were always separating, which I became aware was him discarding me when he had other plans.
Read more: Understanding trauma, the brain on PTSD, and real options for recovery
I was always getting flat tires, and he would come to my rescue and fix them, the one time I took it to the garage to fix it myself, he was livid about it.
Kept getting worse
Through the years I was getting worse, I ended up losing 70% of my left kidney, and 30% of my right kidney usage, another result of poisoning me with antifreeze.
I had bad osteoarthritis and eventually couldn’t work. I had to go on social assistance and applied for long term disability. He didn’t help out financially; he did pay for my tires when flat, though.
It wasn’t until I moved into my 3rd house with my best friend that I got away from seeing him daily sleeping together nightly, that I started getting my head straight. My keys weren’t missing, tires were flat less frequently, I had more clarity.
I was still seeing him, thinking we were still in a relationship. Then I found out he was living with another woman, and then I believed him that he was “just helping her out.” When I found out he was sleeping with her, that’s when it snapped for me and I shut him out.
Two weeks later I found out I had a sexually transmitted disease.
No contact
The Tik Tok videos popped up one day and I blocked him. He stalked me, until I told a mutual friend I was documenting it and would go to the police.
It has been 3 years and no contact. He still lives down the road, but I never see him. I know he drives by; it’s a feeling.
I’m taking care of my chihuahuas, I don’t have gout either. There is more but I can’t write it out all out as my hands are screwed. I just wanted to hopefully get out the awareness of poisoning with antifreeze to other women.
Learn more: How to report your abuser’s crimes so the police take you seriously
Online summit: How to recover from a narcissistic mother 
Hello Martha2025,
I’m so sorry you endured so much emotional, mental, verbal & physical abuse. What a nightmare you lived.
WHAT a BLESSING you escaped by listening to your gut instincts & moved out of the house with him within 2 weeks. BRAVO. At the time you might not have knows what you were enduring however, your strong gut instincts said very clearly “GET OUT” and you did!!
YES, I believe you when your gut is telling you he was poisoning you. I felt the same thing with my ex. He bought rat poisoning for “mice” and I got very very sick around the same time. My mind & gut felt like he was using it on me. I have no proof except I was very sick and my gut still to this day believes he was poisoning me. I wrote this in one of my post here when I first left & I remember Donna’s comment saying she had read other comments where other victims thought they were being poisoned too.
What a blessing that tik tok vd came up for you to watch and to WAKE you up to the hell you were enduring at the hands of your ex-sociopath.
When I first left my ex I knew exactly when his text or email came in and look at my phone (so crazy that I knew it was from him). Even waking up to look at my phone and just a seconds earlier he send a abusive text/email to me. I felt at the time that he controlled my mind literally. I dug into brain washing & mind control and learned that infact they do control their victims minds!! This is why victims can not just “leave” their abuser like so many of the victims friends/family/socieity just think is so easy to just leave the abusers. IT’S NOT. Even asked my counselor if my ex was brain washing me (after I left) and she said ((YES))!!
Donna has articles on Steven Hassan a cult expert who explains & exposes mind control that a Narcissist, Sociopaths, Psychopaths use to control their victims. Steven Hassan has a site with free info & vds called Freedom Of mind Resource Center and he also has many vds on you tube that are worth your time.And he also has books. I found one at my local library & read it…it explains everything that my ex did with regards to brain washing me!. it was very eye opening at how quickly a sociopath can put you under their brain washign “spell”.
Keep reading everything here on Lovefraud. Donna, Terry (her husband) and her team are Earth Angels guiding us back to the who we were before the abusive relationship.
Withing you all the best. Take care 🧡
ps for your hands & if you are still sick:
You tube channels:
Dr Berg keto diet (video titled: Keto for beginners) this diet is healing so many health issues for so many.
Dr Eckberg (keto diet)
Carnivore diet – Dr Ken Berry video “carnviore for beginners” and ch No Carb Life (he has over 1200 videos interviews with people that have healed everything)
Dr Mindy Pelz videos on heavy metal detox (if you were poisoned by him then you might need to detox the poison still out of your tissue etc)
Dr Axe – heavy metal detox, Diet etc
Dr Group – heavy metal detox
Dr Shoemaker mold protocal
Best to find a Functional or Alternative medicine doctor (these are licensed doctors that use diet, herbs, cleanses, detox to heal the body VS rx drugs) or naturopath. There is so much on the net and the Library has books on all of this too plus the free internet libraries such as “Internet Archives” etc
take care
Jan – thank you so much for your thoughtful response. Yes, many people have told me that they believe they were being poisoned. I am so glad that you and Martha escaped.