By | November 5, 2011 47 Comments

Identifying speech patterns of psychopaths

Researchers used a computer analysis to compare the language of psychopathic and nonpsychopathic murderers. They discovered distinct differences.

Read Psychopaths’ words expose predatory mind on

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Ox Drover

I’m glad to see this study done, but it is a very LIMITED STUDY done on a limited number of inmates guilty of a single crime, and the “control group” (murderers who “had not been diagnosed” as psychopaths where not diagnosed as “normal” people either so I’m not sure the “control group” were not 29 on the PCL-R instead of 30=a psychopath)

I would like to see this study done with murders who scored “near normal” on the PCL-R and the other end 30+ and with larger numbers of subjects.

As for folks going “um” and “ah” in their speech, I know lots of folks who do that that are just nervous speaking on tape or in front of a crowd who are definitely not psychopaths.

Some psychopathic murderers, my son Patrick for one, can EXPRESS REMORSE in the most tear-jerking manner possible, so if you didn’t know him, you’d think he was a totally reformed person who has all the remorse in the world, when in fact, he is PROUD of killing that young woman and says it is “worse than even the cops know.” But that admission or faux repentance are used for effect, depending on who he is talking to.


I had read about this study before and was quite taken back when I read remarks by Michael Woodworth, University of British Columbia. He said the P’s stories of their crime often include what they ate the day of the crime.

P/daughter ALMOST ALWAYS relates memories/events to what food was served or what she ate. After attending a friends wedding, she did not describe the ceremony, the bridal dress, flowers, music, JUST great details about the food.

The study mentions P’s using twice as many words relating to physical needs, such as food, sex or money. Few words relating to social, family or spiritual needs.

I imagine many on here can relate to this speech pattern. Thought provoking.


I’ve tried to remember anything like that in the speech patterns of my ex spath but nothing comes to mind.

The only things I remember which he emphasized were other peoples’ facial expressions and emotional reactions because that’s what he found interesting.

When he was trying to pull one over on me, he would emphasize his OWN “emotional” reactions, to set the stage. (as if he had any)


My sociopath ex definitely was and is emotionally flat. Even though he had a high IQ, he would take a while to answer a direct question. I later attributed it to the fact that he was lying about just about everything and needed time to recall what was the “correct” response to this person, on this day, in this place, because if you ask him the same question next month…you will get a completely different answer. He often used words like betwixt, raison d’etre, oft and he often used double contractions like “shouldn’t’ve”, “wouldn’t’ve” or”that’ll’ve.” Also he would use the European ways of spelling words like “colour” and “flavour” and “favourite” even though he was born and raised in America. Not that there was anything wrong with his speech patterns, but I did notice that his speech patterns were different than most. He also used very strong language all the time, not just profanity, but lots of hyperbole. He is very well read and loves poetry and he is very skilled at using language to evoke strong feelings or to create a strong impression. I remember telling him on more than one occasion that his communication style was 90% hyperbole, again…just an observation.

I think that they are on to something here. I know that I have new filters and lenses to discern what I am truly hearing or reading since my experience with a psychopath. The psychopath that I knew is very good at making up big elaborate stories used to manipulate people.

The psychopath that I know has studied psychology in depth and he has told me stories of how he enjoyed messing with the shrinks that tried to evaluate him in prison. He knew what they were looking for and why. I witnessed him doing the same in our marriage counseling, making himself out to be the loving husband, but the therapists all saw through his lies and manipulation over time. Both sets of therapists recommended that he needed to be evaluated by a psychiatrist and probably put on some kind of medication, he refused evaluation. Oh the money I wasted on counseling!!! : ( Counseling is a complete waste of time and money when it comes to a sociopath. All people are objects to them, non-human, people are nothing more than pawns in some sick twisted game that they are playing!

The more time away from him I have, the more I feel my personal joy returning. I wish I never met him and I am so glad he is out of my life!! NO CONTACT is a beautiful thing!!!



Extremely interesting that your X spath would use the European way of spelling words if he was born and raised in America. Why would he do that?? I have to admit that I like it, too, but if I used it, everyone would think I am nuts!


To me the European ways of spelling seem more classic and/or elegant?? Who knows why he does or says the things he does. The only thing that I know about him is it is all a big lie that he is using to work some con. One thing I am learning is not to waste much time trying to figure out why he did this or that because, I don’t want to waste any more energy on him. I am however interested in the common characteristics of sociopaths so I can avoid them in the future!

I am so glad that you are also feeling your joy return!! Yes, I am aware of feeling a little more alive each day. It is a long process healing from a relationship from a sociopath! They are like vampires that suck the life out of us! I was in survival mode for a long time just trying to deal with the constant chaos. It really does get better! I am glad to read that your brother-in-law seems to be a supportive and caring person. I found it interesting because my ex’s brother is a supportive and caring person also. I never met my ex’s brother in person but we are Facebook friends, when I told him that his brother had been cruel and abusive and that I was filling for annulment and a restraining order he said that he wished he had been able to talk to me before we were married and he said his brother has “never been stable”, he thought he was bi-polar and needed medication, and that he thought his brother’s new-found “religion” was a con and that it was in my best interest to get away from him. It is a huge blessing to have relationships with people that really get it!



Oh, most definitely the European way is more elegant and that’s why I like it a lot, but people would still think I was crazy if I used it! ๐Ÿ™‚ Maybe I should try it to see what kind of reaction I would get…oh, God…I’m turning into a spath!


I am very thankful that although living with a spath has a profound effect and affect on us…it is not contagious!!! : )



Like you, I feel my personal joy coming back. Things are not perfect here, but they’re better without the spath’s presence. About three weeks ago, I remember driving along and thinking, “I feel like I’m coming to life.” That morning, I also experienced a sense of joy too. I told my brother-in-law (the spath’s brother) what I had experienced that morning and he told me that he was happy for me, that I deserve to have happiness, joy, etc. All of the stress that these people bring into our lives sucks so much of everything good out of us (you get worn out) – it’s nice to get the good feelings, emotions, etc. back.


What I noticed about the spath is that his grammar could be fine most of the time, but he could say things incorrectly (eg. “he don’t (doesn’t) like that, etc.) at times. He had a fake laugh. It took me years to realize that he mimicked his mother in his speech pattern, also getting the fake laugh from her.


My own observation is that psychopaths (since they are always bullying and blaming), start their sentences with YOU.

YOU made me . . . .
YOU didn’t . . . .
YOU should have . . . . .
YOU don’t ever . . .
YOU are . . . .


I don’t think it so much speech patterns as it is behavior patterns/thoughts that get reflected in speech.

Spaths don’t take responsibility so they are in blame mode. They don’t feel compassion so they speak with as much thought about eating as they do about killing. It is emotionally the same response.

My husband NEVER expressed anger towards me for anything I did wrong, but he’d become COLD tensely angry if I didn’t agree with his behavior; how DARE I (the worth less than nothing wife) think him wrong!


I think what we can relate to is that their conversations are much more centered around physical needs – food, sex, money. They experience physical needs. They do not experience social needs – love, family, spiritual, therefore they do not talk about that, it is a foreign concept.

Does that make sense?


Mine did not show any of those characteristics except for the “ums” and “uhs” I noticed when he’d leave me a long voice message. Outside of the blatant inconsistencies in his stories, his speech patterns were completely normal. In fact, he seemed very genuine and sincere. I’m thinking I didn’t stay with him long enough to see the mask slip and get the full discard/devalue. Thank God.



Haha! ๐Ÿ™‚


Good Post… makes me think of my 2 s path daughters….one bio and one step….there is only 2 years difference in their ages..they grew up together….totally different basic personalities, but also EXACTLY the same….it is so weird….both of them despise me (which I actually prefer, then they leave me alone) but one sent me a message via facebook and just this past week the other sent me a text. If you didn’t know it you would think they were from the same person !!! They both are in their mid 30’s and rarely even see each other, and yet the thinking process in both of them is identical. If you just ask an innocent question about something they did….they will come down on you like SCORCHED EARTH…they will use every curse word, throw up every single thing they THINK you did to them and it feels as if they are trying to pound you into the ground for even questioning them..then they try to turn their little kids against me….I am in a place now (thanks to prayer and this site) that they will never have the power to make me back down on anything ever again. If it costs me my marriage and not seeing my grandchildren again (and it just might) I am willing to do it. They have almost killed me, but not quite yet…I am trying to pull myself out of the pit they threw me into and they won’t get the chance to do it again. I am 55 and have found my voice and I am not afraid to use it. I am going to stand up for what’s right if it’s the last thing I do. Once you start speaking truth to these people, it’s like shining light on a vampire. The truth is not always easy and you will meet with a lot of resistance. Even my husband of 31 years thinks we should do ANYTHING to keep the peace with these girls for the sake of the kids. I can see where he is coming from, but I cannot stuff my feelings anymore. Backing down to evil does something to you…it guts you and you don’t even feel alive. They may be quiet for a while, but in the end it is just wrong to keep your mouth shut when you witness evil. Of course the S paths will call you judgmental and bring up all your own faults as ammunition to shut you up, but I don’t care anymore. I am going totally NC and my husband will just have to live with it or do what he has to do. I won’t allow myself to be pushed down anymore. I think God demands we stand up for morality, right and wrong and injustices done to the victims of these people. WE win in the end…..!


Good study and I agree with Ox and the first response made.
They are very astute at saying what they want and how and when. They will paint a picture for you that you will swallow. Trust me. When you have been on the receiving end of someone like that, it’s unmistakable. The only mistake “I” made was falling for it and not seeing the red flags.

Never trust a psychopath. I prefer to believe they never change because at least with an attitude like that, you have some chance of surviving their icy grip.


Ox Drover

Dear Cream puff,

I hear the pain and also the strength in your post! I know how hard it must be for you to take that stand, to STAND up against everyone calling for “make peace”—well, we sacrifice way too much when we “make peace” with the enemy! There comes a time when we are like two wolves and a “peacefully” sheep deciding what to have for dinner. It can’t be done “peacefully.”

Keep on praying and realize that there “ain’t no way” to keep peace with some people…even Jesus couldn’t keep peace with the evil ones, though he tried.

It is difficult to “lose” those that we think we have—husband, family, friends—but in the end, Creampuff, you will find that those people were NOT all that important if they will sacrifice you to the evil ones in the Name of “peace.” THAT AIN’T PEACE! God bless.

Hosanna! Nice to hear another person who is so glad to be OUT! I can relate to your post. My ex spath dramatized everything with his word selection.

I wanted to add a list of words here, just from my own personal experience. These words circulated on such a regular, daily basis that I started roll my eyes when they’d come up again. Just the fact that I can MAKE this list tells you how OFTEN I was hearing these words, in one context or another, ALL THE TIME within every conversation, in one way or another.

Here goes:

black out
Fugue Episode

have to
as a result


There were many more contractions that he’d just make up that weren’t used by anyone other than himself.

Anyways, next step of this study I think should be a classification of word TYPES, not just the words themselves. Let’s say, how many words are negative? How many positive? How many words relate to emotion? How many words relate to creation or story-telling? Then we’d get an even better picture. From the list above, I think (even as I was writing it) I’m seeing an inner world of the sociopath mind. If those are the words surfacing, imagine what the whole book must read like in there!!!! Yikes!!!!


This article and study, although very limitied, gave me SO much to think about. My ex talked incessantly about food and sex, to the point of obsession. During our year of living together, he worked 3 jobs for less than 3 weeks each and lied about all of them – telling me he was going to work each day and then going home (with MY car – he didn’t own one). He would regularly spend $00 a week on groceries – and I was the only one working, making $14/hour. He told me he had a brother who was killed in Vietnam and who had fathered a child (the child’s name was shown in his mother’s obituary, so he had to come up with something). Turned out he never had a brother and his three sisters don’t speak to him. The child – who is now 32 years old – is his. This man moved in with me from his downtown “condo” – which I never saw before he sold it. He actually moved into my house from the Mission – he was homeless, had no belongings except his (in many cases, nice and expensive) clothing. I can’t even begin to list his lies here. Sorry , I know I am rambling, but this is still very fresh to me. The last straw was when a woman came to my house who had met the path for dinner once, but had carried on an internet and phone relationship with him for two weeks. They were going to get married – seriously – and he had actually this lady drop him off at my house after their date. When he left his facebook open, I saw what had been going on and contacted her. She had been told I was his “stalker”. She confronted him at my house – and through a few meetings with him since then (where he leaves his email open at my house, or accidentally forgets his phone), I have learned that he hooks up with women constantly. By the way, this woman is a THERAPIST!!!! This man is 51 years old, has erectile dysfunction, alcohol issues and is obsessed with the idea of group sex. He is extremely intelligent, has an amazing sense of humor and is very charismatic. And I feel like the biggest idiot on the face of the earth. He even told me had gotten a master’s degree from George Washington and attended the Culinary Institute with Anthony Bourdain. What turned me from such a level-headed, happy, middle-aged grandmother into an idiot who would fall for this?

Ox Drover

Dear Kcwoman,

Welcome to LoveFraud! You’re just like the rest of us, you were conned. Sorry you went through this, but you will emerge through the other side maybe sadder but for sure wiser!

Knowledge is power, and there’s a lot of good information here. READ AND READ and absorb that knowledge.

Glad you found out the truth at least! Again, welcome to LoveFraud.



I wouldn’t blame yourself too much. Sociopaths believe their own lies so completely, that we believe them too! Even when their logic is warped, their morals are non-existent, their charisma and personality is so overwhelming – it’s hard to believe they could be sociopaths!!!


You know, it just dawned on me how contagious that Hitler must have been for the Germans. He used similar tatics, confidence, zeal, and strength to persuade people to follow him.

I think there’s an element in each of us that wants to relate to a strong character, someone with charisma and confidence – those things we easily respond to, because they’re conforting traits to have and be surrounded by.

When I was with my sociopath, my confidence wasn’t terrible, but it was on the low side, along with my self-esteem. I suppose I was a prime target because I lacked a clear direction, and he made himself to be so “other-wordly” and “strong” that I easily latched onto the relationship.

Ox Drover

Purewater, I’m reading a biography of Hitler, and interestingly enough I have no doubt that he was a full blown psychopath, also high in narcissistic traits! Yes, they do know how to manipulate things and put the “spin” on things. I think it is a mandate that ONLY psychopathic people or at least people very high in P traits can aspire to high office in any country.


Ox Drover,

I think you’re right. I mean, who in their right mind would want to be in a high office and have so much control over other people (other than a sociopath/narcissist/psychopath)?

That’s a lot of responsibility, firstly. Secondly, what would compell someone that far into politics and office? Other than the glamor, power, control, access, etc?

I once heard that the mob quit their street mobster ways, and they all went into politics. I believe this to be true ๐Ÿ˜€


Katydid, you said “I don’t think it so much speech patterns as it is behavior patterns/thoughts that get reflected in speech.”

I think you are EXACTLY RIGHT.

I saw this every day in what my spath said and wrote. It was shockingly abnormal. When we first met, I was shocked, and investigated his writing to others, and noticed it was consistent despite who he talked to, about what.

His selfish, shallow nature was pervasive.



LOL! Bingo! You got it! FANTASTIC LIST!


milo, you’re right about the preoccupation with topics concerning food/sex… the most recent FEMALE P i was targeted by would ALWAYS be talking about food… every conversation revolved around food, while she mirrored me and would subtly belittle me about just about everything. it’s a bit triggering to write this out but i didn’t even realize at the time how bizarre it was. She would go so far as sending me pictures of food that she made ( ploy for attention of course ) … to be honest the whole thing was very awkward.. but I didn’t see the fact that it was awkward because the emotional component was absent entirely and everything was for AFFECT.

she also belittled the fact that I brought up a comedian that didn’t have sexual jokes- she slyly remarked that i was into “clean jokes” and that she and her MALE TARGET ( who was duped into believing he was her boyfriend. ) were talking/joking about it… a third party convo which I can’t confirm the validity of ( she very well could have just lied about it just so she has a “third” party to bash me with )

I unfortunately MET her through this male target, whom I later tipped off before cutting him off as well ( because all he talks about is her .. it’s how i got involved. ) that he should look into traits of psychopathy/NPD ( I gave him a few links ). So if you can catch the subtle abusive motive in that- trying to put me down with a “we talked about you”.. with someone that I was acquainted with.


Oh…and how about the use of all caps when emphasizing blame…


the list goes on..I get e-mails from my ex-spath that go on and on, paragraph after paragraph of accusations and blame. I believe they have all read the same book. It is exhausting
to say the least. At least I know how to respond now, though. It goes somthing like this..”I am sorry you feel that way” or “I think your perception is a bit off base”. Short and to the point. Give ’em nothing…they HATE that…(the caps were for the effect of my point ๐Ÿ™‚
Hugs and Peace

Ox Drover


How about just NOT responding to them? NC.


Because we were ordered to communicate via the Family Wizard. It was yet another “wise” decision by the lovely court insisting that we co-parent. The fact that we have to use the Family Wizard should be proof enough that we can not and should not have to co-parent. On top of that, some insane couselor told my ex the the “wizard” could be used as a weapon. so…if I dont respond to some of his requests, he will accuse me of not communication. Cant win for losing with these freaks. If you do reply they try to use it against you. If you dont reply, they will have you back in court for not communicating..which has already been my case. Maybe when all is said and done and my kids are legally on their own I can write a book and mke my money back. All the time spent in court for such frivilous allegations…sooo SP
Peace ๐Ÿ™‚

Ox Drover

Dear hgg522,

Well, I agree with you there, HAVING to “communicate” with them is tough, and having to “co-parent” with them must be HORRIBLE to say the least. I do hope that your kids are not too damaged by this monster. Have you seen Dr. Leedom’s site “parenting the at risk child?” or read her book, “Just like his father”? If not, I suggest that you do, she is the voice of experience for sure on this issue.

God bless you and your children.


It is horrible to say the least. My dtr has been recently dx with anorexia and the fact that we have to work together with her tx is impossible. He sabatages and detroys everything good that can be gained by her treatment. He actually is taking me back to court for seeking a specialist for her. I told him I was seeking further tx and he never, I took her. Now he wants to hold me in contempt of court for seeking the best help possible for my very malnourished, depressed, and hopeless baby girl. Sooo stinkin unfair. not to mention, he has not offered to pay a dime for her tx. What a SCUMBAG!!!
(breathing deep…)

Ox Drover

Dear hgg522,

Dealing with anorexia is difficult with any child (or adult) and during all that mess with a P-sperm donor must make it very difficult for you to get treatment for her, but I am glad that you went ahead and got her a specialist. Fighting him of course is just an added stress and cost to you, but that is what he wants to do, to make life difficult for you even if it kills her–scumbag is not a sufficient term for someone like that—MONSTER is I think more appropriate.

God bless you and your daughter and give you both strength! (((hugs)))


i was married for 13 years to a man i would now say was schizoaffective. 16 years later i hired a stranger to help me build a fence. after three days of working together, we got along famously but something about him tapped that little red flag in the back of my mind, so i finished the job and didn’t have anything else to do with him. six months later i stood in line at a local small store and after awhile realized the person i was listening to talking to another lady in line was him. and as i listened i realized he used exactly the same speech patterns as my ex….whom i’d not spoken to in years. precisely the same odd, never heard-them-anywhere else little personal cute sayings, (at least three of them just in a thirty minute period)
very strange experience.


Here’s what the spath worm wrote at the end of his own parody of himself (some words altered to avoid copyright):

***Mr. Panfry put the phone down and stood up from the sofa and stretched. He walked into his bedroom, turned on the TV, and put on his night clothes. He brushed his teeth and listened to the evening news. With methodical precision, Panfry went through the motions that were scripted for him. Mr. Panfry’s reality was entirely scripted, although the illusions through which he moved were not. His illusions never interfered with his inner core. He never acknowledged the problem since he could never focus beyond his life’s script or his waking illusions. If there was a problem, it was with the script, only. Panfry’s denial of his issues even had its own script with no responsibility to be held accountable for.***

THIS is the description of a sociopath BY a sociopath without recognizing that it IS a sociopath. Talk about semantics! WOW


Thanks for sharing how spaths KNOW, they just don’t acknowledge.

He should have replaced the word illusions with DE LUSIONS! Better fit. LOL!


From what I remember of my x-spath’s speech and writing patterns, it was detailed, but emotionally flat. He was pre-occupied with alcohol.


How abut this one girls….You never loved me if you did You would have hugged me tighter….Spoken like a true spath.


Sorry i am typing in the dark here….ABOUT correction


jordeez: mine used to say that everyone who said they loved him were all truly haters. HOW IS THAT ONE?

We were all haters because we wouldn’t accept his vileness.
Yet, if you attempted to meet him halfway, there was no such thing…it was all his way and that was by devouring you. Literally.

New Years Eve will mark 8 months since I have spoken a word to it. It continues to stalk me every so often. It has learned how to ‘sugar coat’ and ‘honey’ the words “IT” leaves me. I don’t wish to cut it off, I want “IT” to say what “IT” wants to say to me. “IT” will never get a response from me, ever again and I think “IT” is starting to realize this. It has left four messages, not counting the endless phone calls from unblocked numbers..I HAVE RESPONDED TO NONE and NEVER WILL AGAIN.

I have been cautioned to be very careful because New Years Eve also marks an anniversary date for him, as well, personally. “IT” has not been very well nor stable. To put it mildly. It has lost a wife and two mistresses within the past year and that is just skimming the surface!

LIES: all of it…
I almost was drawn away with the tsunami of bullshit.
I was so far down that ‘rabbit hole’ that I almost didn’t make it back. THAT is how crazy it was…I was trapped in madness.

It started when I gave up control of my own ship.
I will never make that mistake ever again as long as I live.

I have learned within the past week or so how ‘cunning’ a person this really is, if you can actually call it a ‘person’. I am stronger than “IT” and I think “IT” knows it now. I have always been stronger and I think that was my ‘attraction’ to “IT”…my strengths…I was something “IT” is not but wishes “IT” could be without having to do any of the ‘paying for it’ – if “IT” could have murdered me and climbed into my skin, I believe it would have done so.

“IT” is learning “ITS” place with me, though, I think. After all of this time…this is the true second period of NC for me. The first time, I was like four months into it and had a near fatal heart attack…someone contacted him and BAM: there “IT” was all over again…recovering from my physical condition was rough enough – there was no way I would have survived it if I had kept or allowed “IT” to remain anywhere around my life. Not after all the death threats/attempts. Once that trust is lost, you can never regain it.

Coming through this ‘withdrawal’ and that truly is what it was..after being so masterfully and skillfully ‘conditioned’ for just about five years, through my own affections, to tolerate way too much – way too much…almost a complete loss of ‘self’. It has been likened to being held hostage, as I think I have told many of you before. Psychologically and emotionally held hostage for just about five years…oh yes, it was so difficult coming through this and I don’t think I will ever completely be ‘out of the woods’; there will always be scars and I shall be changed because of this experience forever but in a stronger way.

I suppose I will spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder now that I have a psychopathic stalker…but I am not afraid of “IT”. In reality, I think “IT” may be just a little afraid of “ME” and I think that is appropriate at this point.

“IT” has been requested on several occasions to cease further communications. But then, “IT” has already violated itself on numerous occasions, without my input…so, nothing surprises me anymore but I am strong enough for this. I always was. That is what made me a target and a challenge….

How dare a woman be stronger than me!
Of course, when you just hate all women, it’s easy to have that attitude. Women, they are only good for one thing….well, two, if you count what’s in their pocketbook, I suppose.

I said there was three phases coming through this; I was wrong. I seem to be finding a fourth…resolve. My resolve is very strong now. I have shielded myself with another layer of armor. I am protected and resilient now. I have recovered and healed well from my heart surgeries and I can stand strong for myself and my life and this “THING” whatever “IT” is, I am sorry my friend and someone I loved so much is so possessed but it’s true and there is no way to reach him any longer. I cannot and will not sacrifice my life. Even if I did, it still wouldn’t be enough to sate that monster inside of “IT”. I refuse to sacrifice myself for this ’cause’ any longer or any further and if it does not cease, I will make it cease, as I have stated so many times before….I MEAN WHAT I SAY. PERIOD.

So, do me a HUGE favor, please – on this New Years Eve, I want you all to think of me, as I shall you, and I want you to celebrate with me, and I will celebrate with you…we are starting over’s what we make it…WELCOME 2012!!! YAHOOOO!

I am grateful I have had this place to share my thoughts and my experiences and my opinions. I am grateful for you all. You held me up when I couldn’t walk by myself and hit me on the head with the frying pan when I was being naughty.

Happy New Year my friends…
My life is recovering, slowly but surely…without “IT”.
I never thought I would get here but I am here…not all the way yet but close enough that I can taste it. Hope I can stick around long enough now to enjoy some of it; know what I mean? ๐Ÿ™‚

*Blessings to you all*
P.S. Have a drink on me….


Dear Duped,

Eloquent friend..

You are a challenge because you are strong and that makes you a target! Sick, depraved, vile piece of sh*t.

So glad you live to tell your tale. Your words resonate with me. Hope you’ve got some champers on ice for new years eve. Cheers!!


thanks strongawoman for the hugs and support.
It means a lot to me.

You don’t know the half of it, My Friend…
Oh yes, strong and very much a target.

I am happy I am living to tell my tale too. ๐Ÿ™‚
I am happy as well that you are able to decipher something from my words…sharing my experiences….

Trust me, Dearie….THIS New Years Eve is going to be a wonderful one, just like I promised myself it was going to be and there is nothing going to stop it from coming. Not anymore.



“Truthspeak says:

Here’s what the spath worm wrote at the end of his own parody of himself (some words altered to avoid copyright):”

I would love to post what my x-spath says about himself on various dating sites…


Strongawoman, and everyone,

Indeed, we have everything to celebrate for 2012. Sure, we’ve been deliberately damaged by the calculated machinations of one (or, more) sociopath, but we have the ability to LIVE, rather than just EXIST.

September’s end marked the end of a fraud of monumental proportions for me, and November propeled me into an arduous healing process. I don’t like it, one bit, but I intend to do the hard work and believe – in my soul – that I’m going to be just fine.

When I was talking with my counselor about this incredible feeling of uncertainty, she put it together for me: uncertainty + vulnerability = anxiety. I cannot predict the future, and I’ve been moving through a molasses of fear nearly my whole life. This is going to be a challenge, but I’m capable and so is each and every one of us. We cannot change what we’ve experienced, but we danged sure can learn from it.

Finally, betrayal is the deepest, darkest circle of Hell, according to Dante, EVEN over wanton murder. I questioned my son why this might be, and his answer was so insightful: a victim of murder experiences an end to their pain and torture, while a victim of betrayal relives the torturous agony every day, for the rest of their life, unless they find some sort of closure.

So, the sociopathic worm has effectively banished himself to the deepest, darkest, coldest hell imaginable, even in waking life. What human being would WANT to lack empathy and remorse?! What kind of empty existence would that even be?

The brightest, and most HEALING blessings to one and all for a Happy New Year. Towanda, everyone. And, thank you, Donna – we’re all going to be okay, in due time.

Ox Drover


YOU DO SPEAK THE TRUTH!!! THE ABOVE POST IS VERY INSIGHTFUL! Thank you for that post! That affirmation not only for yourself but for every one here at Love Fraud! TOWANDA!!!!!


“What human being would want to lack empathy…..”

What they want is to be like us. To be us…. someone posted earlier.

My ex once stated
“I want what you have”
He was referring to the relationship I have with my daughters. But I suppose, after reading many accounts and articles here, you could say he literally wanted what I had. Period.

You know what keeps me going is the absolute belief that he wants what is mine. What I’ve achieved. Normal things like family, friends, a job I love he wants all those things but he can’t have them. It’s not he wants to lack empathy he just wants all that for nothing. Desperate for love and approval but destined to never get them.
Empty existence? You betcha.

Towanda Truthspeak. It will be my first year spath free too! Cheers me dears:)

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