How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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  1. Ox Drover

    Dear Kcwoman,

    Welcome to LoveFraud! You’re just like the rest of us, you were conned. Sorry you went through this, but you will emerge through the other side maybe sadder but for sure wiser!

    Knowledge is power, and there’s a lot of good information here. READ AND READ and absorb that knowledge.

    Glad you found out the truth at least! Again, welcome to LoveFraud.

  2. purewaters3

    Kcwoman,

    I wouldn’t blame yourself too much. Sociopaths believe their own lies so completely, that we believe them too! Even when their logic is warped, their morals are non-existent, their charisma and personality is so overwhelming – it’s hard to believe they could be sociopaths!!!

  3. purewaters3

    You know, it just dawned on me how contagious that Hitler must have been for the Germans. He used similar tatics, confidence, zeal, and strength to persuade people to follow him.

    I think there’s an element in each of us that wants to relate to a strong character, someone with charisma and confidence – those things we easily respond to, because they’re conforting traits to have and be surrounded by.

    When I was with my sociopath, my confidence wasn’t terrible, but it was on the low side, along with my self-esteem. I suppose I was a prime target because I lacked a clear direction, and he made himself to be so “other-wordly” and “strong” that I easily latched onto the relationship.

  4. Ox Drover

    Purewater, I’m reading a biography of Hitler, and interestingly enough I have no doubt that he was a full blown psychopath, also high in narcissistic traits! Yes, they do know how to manipulate things and put the “spin” on things. I think it is a mandate that ONLY psychopathic people or at least people very high in P traits can aspire to high office in any country.

  5. purewaters3

    Ox Drover,

    I think you’re right. I mean, who in their right mind would want to be in a high office and have so much control over other people (other than a sociopath/narcissist/psychopath)?

    That’s a lot of responsibility, firstly. Secondly, what would compell someone that far into politics and office? Other than the glamor, power, control, access, etc?

    I once heard that the mob quit their street mobster ways, and they all went into politics. I believe this to be true 😀

  6. callmeathena

    Katydid, you said “I don’t think it so much speech patterns as it is behavior patterns/thoughts that get reflected in speech.”

    I think you are EXACTLY RIGHT.

    I saw this every day in what my spath said and wrote. It was shockingly abnormal. When we first met, I was shocked, and investigated his writing to others, and noticed it was consistent despite who he talked to, about what.

    His selfish, shallow nature was pervasive.

  8. dancingnancies

    milo, you’re right about the preoccupation with topics concerning food/sex… the most recent FEMALE P i was targeted by would ALWAYS be talking about food… every conversation revolved around food, while she mirrored me and would subtly belittle me about just about everything. it’s a bit triggering to write this out but i didn’t even realize at the time how bizarre it was. She would go so far as sending me pictures of food that she made ( ploy for attention of course ) … to be honest the whole thing was very awkward.. but I didn’t see the fact that it was awkward because the emotional component was absent entirely and everything was for AFFECT.

    she also belittled the fact that I brought up a comedian that didn’t have sexual jokes- she slyly remarked that i was into “clean jokes” and that she and her MALE TARGET ( who was duped into believing he was her boyfriend. ) were talking/joking about it… a third party convo which I can’t confirm the validity of ( she very well could have just lied about it just so she has a “third” party to bash me with )

    I unfortunately MET her through this male target, whom I later tipped off before cutting him off as well ( because all he talks about is her .. it’s how i got involved. ) that he should look into traits of psychopathy/NPD ( I gave him a few links ). So if you can catch the subtle abusive motive in that- trying to put me down with a “we talked about you”.. with someone that I was acquainted with.

  9. hgg522

    Oh…and how about the use of all caps when emphasizing blame…

    ALWAYS
    NEVER
    OUR CHILDREN
    YOU
    LEGAL ACTION

    the list goes on..I get e-mails from my ex-spath that go on and on, paragraph after paragraph of accusations and blame. I believe they have all read the same book. It is exhausting
    to say the least. At least I know how to respond now, though. It goes somthing like this..”I am sorry you feel that way” or “I think your perception is a bit off base”. Short and to the point. Give ’em nothing…they HATE that…(the caps were for the effect of my point 🙂
    Hugs and Peace

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