Last week Lovefraud posted a new True Lovefraud Story about a con artist named Dennis SanSeverino. The creep pretended to be loving and rich long enough to convince his victim to trust him. Then he took her home and inheritance.
This story is a classic case of a sociopath targeting the vulnerable.
When the victim, Trish Rynn, met SanSeverino, she had just endured a difficult breakup with her boyfriend. In the months that they got to know each other—Rynn initially refused his many dinner invitations—he must have been listening intently as she chatted about her life. Rynn’s ex-husband was physically abusive. After the marriage ended, Rynn spent 10 years in court fighting child custody and child support battles. The strain sent her into clinical depression, from which she was just beginning to recover.
Rynn was vulnerable, and SanSeverino was attracted like a shark to blood in the water.
SanSeverino started taking Rynn’s money—under the guise of helping her, of course. When Rynn found herself in serious debt due to him, she slipped back into depression. That’s when SanSeverino took her house and the rest of her inheritance.
Sad stories made worse
Lovefraud has heard these truly sad stories over and over again: Grief-stricken people who have lost a spouse or a child, and then lose their insurance settlement to a sociopath. Disabled people who are targeted because they get a minimal subsidy from the government. People struggling to care for someone else—like children or elderly parents—who learn that the assistance promised by a sociopath makes their burdens worse.
And then there are the lonely. Anyone who is lonely for any reason is walking target for a sociopath.
Vigilance when vulnerable
It’s sad, really. When we have problems and need help, we want to be able to trust that offers of assistance are real. When we’re looking for companionship, we want to be able to believe that the person pursuing us is sincere.
But the truth is that when we’re vulnerable, we need to be especially vigilant. Sociopaths are predators, and wounded prey make for an easy kill.
Hi Stargazer, no we don’t have a joint bank account which I am very grateful. I feel like I might have got away before he destroyed me completely and for that I am thankful. I actually just finished reading “The Sociopath Next Door” and that section made me go uh huh and hmmm and I underlined a lot of things in that section. The part where she talks about him pretending to be depressed hit home and his parasitic ways. Also she talked about him not showing any interest in her or their son but he showed in interest in lithographs out of nowhere and was obsessed with it and than all the sudden it stopped. I kinda feel like thats how their feelings work in regard to us. And same thing after he broke up with me and made all his connections for about a month he came back and acted like we were together again and we with me almost everyday. He had me stay over his house days at a time and was around all the time. Even to just go to the store he had to pick me up and be with him. Being devestated like I was I didn’t really see past this behavior and felt a small sense of not being alone which is why I think I agreed to this way of life. There should be a movie and more information about this.
Sorry I didn’t finish my thought about the obsession part I got ahead of myself… my boyfriend was the same exact way. One week he was a chef and all he did was cook and the next week he was a wrestler and was working out and watching shows and the next week he was an artist and was sitting in his room and painting… I mean it was crazy. He would have these strong interests and drop it like nothing. This included his view of a career too. One week he was this and the next he wanted to be that but never really did anything. The insanity of it all.
Dear Trinity,
This is a good article and I’m glad you brought it up again. I obvioiusly posted on it quite a bit with bloggers most of whom are no longer posting here. I think when I read those posts how I was feeling back in those days and how much further I have come on the road to healing. How much better I feel now than I did then.
I’m glad you are reading the old archived articles, because truly, Knowledge=power and the more you learn bout them and yourself you will progress more swiftly on healing. It is so much the same with all of them that in some ways you can almost predict how they will behave. It is like they all work from the same “play book” like a football team.
The more you know, the more you can defend yourself in the future and avoid them or the next one. Good luck and I am so glad that you are reading and learning! Hang around a while, this site is a safe and healing place. I hope that Free and all the others that are not still posting here are doing well. I wish they would check in and tell us how they are doing, because we DO care about these people and when they just “drop off” it is like we never get any closure with them and how they are doing. Because we do wish them well.
trinity:
i hope i’m not a s/p! i do that too, move on to new things without ever mastering any of them, i’ve had about 5 careers!, but i think it’s just because i’m a gemini!!
Hi OxDrover, thank you very much for the message and yes I have been going through the older posts trying to learn as much as I can so I can heal. I wish so much that things were different for us all and that these people turned out to be who they claimed to be… but I guess our stories tell a different story and a sad one. I only hope that we can all find something to hold onto.
Hi Lostingrief, lol no your not a sociopath. I brought that up because it was brought up in the book and it also fit his personality. I think we all do the same thing but his plans were never based on reality… thats the difference.
my ex has been a teacher for 12 years. likes it because he is in complete control of pretty much everyone at the school. he ‘runs’ his guy friends, women, administrators, police … even his family. no one has EVER told him ‘No’ about anything; he is the Master of getting women to do whatever and give him whatever he wants. he’s stunning, but also the most charming, personable, athletic, ‘sensitive’ alpha-male ever. no one has ever rejected him; he does it first.
so, i told my mom (he even had HER giggling and enraptured when they met) that he was trying to contact me and she said, ”just think, you can be the FIRST one in his entire life to finally put him in his place, say no, ignore him, and reject him. Check Mate.”
NOW THAT’S POWER!
TOWANDA!!!!
My dog is a great companion to have. Do you all have pets? I can give him a hug and he wags his tail. I tell him sometimes when I feel back and he’ll lick my face. He sleeps at the bottom of my bed at night. You gotta get a dog.
since the socionutjob is gone, i’ve been thinking of getting a cat. always loved cats. but i don’t even know how to make a decision that big right now. i don’t trust one instinct i have. feel like i need time to remember my power.
LIG: Cats are so low maintenance and there are so many cats and kittens that need a good home. All you need is a litter box and some catfood and they’ll provide great joy. A cat will divert the thoughts for awhile. I’m telling you.