Last week Lovefraud posted a new True Lovefraud Story about a con artist named Dennis SanSeverino. The creep pretended to be loving and rich long enough to convince his victim to trust him. Then he took her home and inheritance.
This story is a classic case of a sociopath targeting the vulnerable.
When the victim, Trish Rynn, met SanSeverino, she had just endured a difficult breakup with her boyfriend. In the months that they got to know each other—Rynn initially refused his many dinner invitations—he must have been listening intently as she chatted about her life. Rynn’s ex-husband was physically abusive. After the marriage ended, Rynn spent 10 years in court fighting child custody and child support battles. The strain sent her into clinical depression, from which she was just beginning to recover.
Rynn was vulnerable, and SanSeverino was attracted like a shark to blood in the water.
SanSeverino started taking Rynn’s money—under the guise of helping her, of course. When Rynn found herself in serious debt due to him, she slipped back into depression. That’s when SanSeverino took her house and the rest of her inheritance.
Sad stories made worse
Lovefraud has heard these truly sad stories over and over again: Grief-stricken people who have lost a spouse or a child, and then lose their insurance settlement to a sociopath. Disabled people who are targeted because they get a minimal subsidy from the government. People struggling to care for someone else—like children or elderly parents—who learn that the assistance promised by a sociopath makes their burdens worse.
And then there are the lonely. Anyone who is lonely for any reason is walking target for a sociopath.
Vigilance when vulnerable
It’s sad, really. When we have problems and need help, we want to be able to trust that offers of assistance are real. When we’re looking for companionship, we want to be able to believe that the person pursuing us is sincere.
But the truth is that when we’re vulnerable, we need to be especially vigilant. Sociopaths are predators, and wounded prey make for an easy kill.
Mine eats them
I’d like to throw this out there for all LoveFraud.com members: How many of us have taken part in: “The Quiz: Are you a Target?”
Even after all that I’ve learned, I’m still a prime target! If you haven’t taken the quiz, I urge you to do so. If you’ve already participated, take it again! See how far you’ve come – for me, it’s how far I still have to go!
EXCELLENT tool, Donna. The quiz not only helps identify our vulnerabilities, but it’s helpful so that we can strengthen ourselves in those areas!
To “eyeswideshut” and her statement above” “Why would a S stay with one person all that time, not go for new supply? Well it turns out I guess he did, only with men” .. I can empathize COMPLETELY. I lived with someone JUST LIKE your ex. I seldom post to lovefraud, but I have done so, again, in the last few days. Read my blogs on http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2010/01/11/why-we-dont-know-about-sociopaths/ It is ironic that your “handle” is “eyeswideshut” , because that was one film he rented for us to watch (I think he was trying to tell me that he was just like the SPATH in that film!)
I too went through one of those horrible separation scenarios which took over ten years. It left me vulnerable to further exploitation from two people claiming to want to be helpful. They were both helpthemselful.
OMG OMG OMG!!!
Anyone who sorta knows my story, here we go..again! So a short version of THIS situation. When he left, I said Id take care of the bills, meaning getting things set up to disconnect OUR bills. He texted me the next day TELLING me what I could do with the bills as HE had contacted Comcast and US CELLULAR and got the information. I didnt respond. He instant messaged me that Sat to tell me he got a new phone and number and the bill was mine. It was in my name so, whatever. He told me if I hadnt ‘switched’ Comcast over to my name yet, he would be shutting it off ‘later’ as it had been 5 days. I CANT SWITCH IT TO MY NAME…ITS NOT MY ACCOUNT!!!!! Fine…I did notthing with this as it was not MY responsibility.
The cable has been on since hes left and I have wondered CONTINUOUSLY for what reason? Something was up with that…the bill was in HIS name, HIS account but he TOLD me to switch it over? If I didnt, (which I couldnt) then hed shut it off…but he never did!
So, a month after we break up, I get this email this morning…
“Good Morning,
I called comcast this morning to see if there was a balance on the account and of course there is, almost 200.00 dollars. I know you don’t care what I think but I was kind of surprised because I never took you for dishonest. You said you would switch it over, but you haven’t, and I wouldn’t even care that you didn’t except that you aren’t paying the bill either. I’m not sure how you consider that being honest or a good person. I let comcast know the situation and that I wanted to contact you and give you one more chance to do the right thing before I cancel services this afternoon. I would appreciate you paying the month you used while I was gone and I will pay the other month but if not there really isnt much I can do. Whether you are hurt or mad at me I didn’t think you would become untrustworthy. Let me know either way, I didn’t want to leave u without services because I thought that was an asshole thing to do, but I also thought I could trust you to do the right thinng.
Let me know either way”
I PRIDE myself on being an honest, trustworthy, GOOD person and this little bastard tried MANIPULATING ME by using the qualities I KNOW I have against me!
Im not crazy, right?
Dear R-babe,
No, darling you are NOT crazy! And I TOLD YOU he had no intention of paying the bill! LOL ROTFLMAO Right from the start, leaving the comcast on was an effort to have a “reason” to get back in touch with you, and also a way to stick you with the “bad guy” role since you didn’t pay the bill. LOL ROTFLMAO How sneaky they are….
If HE had any intention—a good one—-of doing what is right, he would have called comcast immediately and canceled service. Him being “a nice guy” and not “leaving you without services” was NOT SOMETHING NICE AT ALL. YOU did not want services or YOU would have ordered service, so he was in effect “ordering” services for you that YOU had NO chance to refuse, and in his mind, obligating you to pay for them. LOL Yea, right! Nice guy! NOT!!!!!
Now he is trying to turn HIS DISHONEST deal around and make YOU the dishonest one. Probably even believes it in his own mind. What a jerk wad! LOL
Ox:
And the ‘smear’ campaign Im SURE will begin (if it hasnt already)! I find this quite funny myself, basically because it doesnt have to be this way! Except, it DOES have to be this way…
Im getting it SMACKED right on my head today…Our relationship was NOT about caring, love, commitment, etc. I was a means to an end for him. His goal is to have POWER OVER someone, anyone! I seem to be a ‘good one’ to try and get it over because I have ALWAYS put up a good fight. WOW…WOW…WOW…how sick this all is!
You did TELL ME he had not intention of paying the bill…RIGHT ON!! Wholly shit! He’s pathetically stupid at this point though, cause, well hes SO obvious with his tactics! Right, he would have cancelled it immediately, except that would have cut the connection, uh huh! And now that the bill is getting a little high, HE surely doesnt want to pay for it because HE hasnt even used the service. Thats right too…all the ‘things’ I have (dog, cable, decorations, etc) which HE bought saying they were for ME were just the opposite. They were for HIM at MY cost! What a god damn jackass!
I dont doubt his dellusions though! His lies are very real to him on some level, however, at some point he usually will ‘admit’ to what he was trying to do. Right now though, I AM a dishonest, bad person (which is polar opposite of what I actually am and he KNOWS it)…unfortunately for him, IM NO PUSHOVER…so, he cant bully me into doign what he wants so he will try and GUILT me into it, knowing I DO have guilt BECAUSE I am a good person and honest!
WOW!!! Mind games galore…I hate him
it was good to see this get raised, i hadn’t read this article before. my therapist has told me, in my situation, it was circumstance and i need to remind myself that. i was very vulnerable because i was unemployed for the first time in my life and was terrified about losing my independence. my spath picked up on that floating feeling, i’m sure of that. once i was working again, getting back my confidence, he threw me away like a used tissue.
Dear R-babe,
It wasn’t much of a stretch to figure out that he would not pay the bill and that it was a ruse to keep a “reason” for contact…that move is in the “Psychopath’s play book, page 104, paragraph 2” LOL So many times they are so transparent it is silly. LITERALLY SILLY on such a small scale—no big deal really, a couple of hundred bucks and it is HIS CREDIT he is ruining, but the thing is, my guess is that HE HAS BAD CREDIT ANYWAY…what ya wanna bet??? LOL
Of course when comcast comes to get their equipment it will be a small pain in the butt for you to arrange to take off work and be there to let them in….another inconvenience for YOU for his “stuff”—LOL but
BLOCK his texting ability even if it means that you have to change phone numbers….change your e mail addy or block him if you can. It just isn’t worth the irritation to hear from them.
Once you’ve seen one slime bucket they all pretty much are the same.
Ox:
Thats how I feel! Like this is ‘silly’ behavior…childish games that I remember playing in like 7th grade. His credit is shit too. I just wonder what other ‘reasons’ are he feels he has to have contact with me at this point. Kinda like…”ok, so the comcast will be shut off and that should be it for our ‘connections’. Ut ohhhh, what about the dog?”
As far as comcast goes, I dont really care about the inconvenience because his account will continue to get charged until I give the stuff back. I could EASILY go with another service provider and continue to accru a balance on HIS account…ohhh, vindictive!
This is kinda a blurr still, meaning how things went from good to bad and what happened…was it the move in, was it the fact I expected him to pay bills? Im always so leary to think of ‘rational’ reasons for him leaving as he CLEARLY is irrational. I have a hard time saying to myself “he is the lie”…”nothing he says is true.’