Last week Lovefraud posted a new True Lovefraud Story about a con artist named Dennis SanSeverino. The creep pretended to be loving and rich long enough to convince his victim to trust him. Then he took her home and inheritance.
This story is a classic case of a sociopath targeting the vulnerable.
When the victim, Trish Rynn, met SanSeverino, she had just endured a difficult breakup with her boyfriend. In the months that they got to know each other—Rynn initially refused his many dinner invitations—he must have been listening intently as she chatted about her life. Rynn’s ex-husband was physically abusive. After the marriage ended, Rynn spent 10 years in court fighting child custody and child support battles. The strain sent her into clinical depression, from which she was just beginning to recover.
Rynn was vulnerable, and SanSeverino was attracted like a shark to blood in the water.
SanSeverino started taking Rynn’s money—under the guise of helping her, of course. When Rynn found herself in serious debt due to him, she slipped back into depression. That’s when SanSeverino took her house and the rest of her inheritance.
Sad stories made worse
Lovefraud has heard these truly sad stories over and over again: Grief-stricken people who have lost a spouse or a child, and then lose their insurance settlement to a sociopath. Disabled people who are targeted because they get a minimal subsidy from the government. People struggling to care for someone else—like children or elderly parents—who learn that the assistance promised by a sociopath makes their burdens worse.
And then there are the lonely. Anyone who is lonely for any reason is walking target for a sociopath.
Vigilance when vulnerable
It’s sad, really. When we have problems and need help, we want to be able to trust that offers of assistance are real. When we’re looking for companionship, we want to be able to believe that the person pursuing us is sincere.
But the truth is that when we’re vulnerable, we need to be especially vigilant. Sociopaths are predators, and wounded prey make for an easy kill.
Babe,
you nailed it. you said you “pride” yourself on being honest and trustworthy. LOL. They TARGET your pride. It’s what they envy. They TARGET your shame, it’s how they attempt to control you. It’s amazing that these spaths go through life “sniffing” out emotions like a blood hound.
When you think about a blood hound or any dog, what they SMELL is just as REAL or solid to them as the things you and I see, hear and touch. In fact, what a dog smells is MORE real to them because that is their strongest sensory organ, they will believe what they smell over what they see or hear.
With a spath, therwe appears to be another sensory organ which is more REAL to them than any other reality. It is their sense of seeing our emotions. Our emotional responses are what they percieve as the most REAL. That’s why they lie all the time, any lie can become real to them as long as they get feedback in the form of this emotional feedback sensory perception. The spaths, like vampires who have no reflection in the mirror, only exist when they are mirrored in OUR eyes – when we believe their lies.
They are still in infancy using an infant’s way of surviving. sick sick sick
skylar:
agreed. i can see the sickness so clearly too! its offensive to a degree, its funny to a degree, its sick to a degree and its laughable to a degree. everyone ive told about the email has had the initial reaction of laughing hysterically…and then i laugh hysterically and ‘see’ how stoooooopid he really is. cunning, not so much…clever, not so much in this instance, childish, completely!
i hate him
Robx – How funny?! No really – I’m laughing here. He has to pay the bill – brilliant.
My ex spath held onto my credit card. I banned him from coming here but he turned up. I called the police. He said he’d come to return my card. WRONG. I’d had the card blocked and he knew that (cos he’d tried to use it) So the purpose of his visit was to hook me in with the pretence of being a ‘good guy’ and returning the card!
So when the police took him to the police station suddenly ‘I was crazy’ and had attacked him. The police saw through it and told him to clear off. And he did. I found out that he’d been in prison. They do not like it in solitary because there’s no one to feed off emotionally. I think he was really afraid of going back to prison.
Stay no contact – it’s bliss. I’m now 5 months out of the relationshit, scarred but alive.
Dear Candy, Good for you!!! Congratulations!!!! GOOD JOB! % months is great!!!! It goes easier the longer we are out!
R-babe just be glad that he is apparently limited to the more childish damage, where you CAN laugh at it instead of call the cops or cry! I hope it stays that way and that he goes away completely sooner rather than later. They are like bad pennies though, they keep turning up again and again.
Cheers Ox. It does get easier. Still keep the doors locked though.
There was a guy at the (old timers)Club Sat giving me the eye. He’s been watching me for weeks. You know when you feel someone watching you and you catch their gaze.
I really thought he would make a move Sat but he didn’t just general chat about the band/food. Maybe I was giving off bad vibes.
He’s been going there for about 2 years. Everyone knows him. I made enquiries and he’s single (never seen him there with a woman) he’s just friendly with everyone.
He has a farm, car, pays for his drinks with £20 notes! I’m not going to chase him and if it’s meant to be ……well so be it.
Spath radar was working overtime!!
Dear Candy,
Well, old geezers need love too! Just keep your s-path-dar on FULL and don’t let someone pull the wool over your eyes. LOL
Yea, I keep the doors locked at least at night and here we can keep fire arms so I’m also armed as well. But at least I no longer feel like I am having to hide behind the gun ports in order to keep alive. LOL
Glad that you are feeling sassy enough to get out and listen to some good music and socialize. Maybe the guy at the geezers club is recovering from a sociopath as well. You two might have something like that in common! LOL
Thanks Ox. I would say he’s about 58 – one of the youngest there! Hells Bells what am I saying … I’m in my fifties! How did that happen…..I was 18 yesterday.
We are not allowed firearms here…think I could not shoot anything or anyone. But you do what you need to to stay safe.
Had not occurred to me that he may have been spathed!
Candy,
THAT is one of the VERY things I feel concerned about when thinking that my spath may return someday.
He has two beautiful bracelets of mine (diamond/crystal) that my son gave me for my birthday this last year. I asked for them back. He wouldn’t let me come and get them.
My son told me to let it go. He would buy me a new bracelet, it wasn’t worth dealing with spath again. He was right and I didn’t, but it STILL bothers me that he wouldn’t give back something that was so precious to me, as well as he could very well contact sometime in the future using that as the bait. I think that as long as he’s in “happy” gear living with new gf and she’s giving him what he wants, he’ll leave me the hell alone. I”m glad you mentioned the credit card thing. It keeps me reminded that it could happen at any time with the bracelets.
Makes me SO DAMNED MAD that he has them!! UGH!
Congrats on your five months! You seem to be doing well. That’s encouraging.
LL
LL – Thanks.
Shame about your son’s present. Chances are he gave ‘your’ bracelet to his new gf. Chances of you ever seeing them again…virtually zero.
Stay mad…..it keeps us focused on how toxic they are until we can move on.
Sounds like you are coming on in leaps and bounds, well done.
Candy,
LOL! Yep, that thought crossed my mind too. Bastard. Yep, having an anger day. It’s the monumental amount of lies.
Something interesting is happening though…..more often now, so I don’t seem as down as I have been….like everyday down. I wonder if this is common in the healing process. Whenever my mind goes to “I miss him”…or “She’s getting something I didn’t get” or “He’s being so faithful right now”……my mind SWITCHES gears…..it’s something I’ve been practicing A LOT doing what I need to do move beyond it. To accept the toxicity for what it really was….
ANyway, the first thing that comes to mind is one of those things, replaced IMMEDIATELY with “Oh yea, you miss a liar and a cheater? Really? You miss the mind fucking word games? The blame shifting? The guilt tripping?” “Oh yea, she’s getting a LIAR, NOTHING he’s telling HER is the truth! Thank GOD it’s not YOU anymore!” “Oh yea, he’s “faithful” as long as the deviant sex is good or the money runs out and it’s all about him and that’s a prize? Oh wait, don’t forget the LIES LIES LIES”
Snaps me out of it pretty quickly. Has anyone noticed this? I had one of those I miss him thoughts this morning and was on the verge of tears, but then my mind switched gears right away…no tears. Is that normal? Or am I shutting down my grief process? It seems to me that telling myself over and over the truth of what he was and did, even though still painful, makes it easier to deal with. At least for me, it feels like good progress.
LL