A woman goes to the philharmonic in New York City alone. She meets a guy who is also alone. He asks her for a date, she goes once, doesn’t want to go again. She doesn’t return his calls. He sends an e-mail demanding to know why. Woman is so astounded she posts it on the Internet.
Read An investment banker’s cover letter for a second date, on Reddit.com.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
The absolute sense that they seem to have of entitlement as well as how they feel SUPERIOR to the rest of the world—and maybe they ARE superior to the average “Joe Plumber” in a sense of IQ but they are totally RETARDED as far as emotional intelligence.
Of course as I understand the research, the IQ of psychopaths follows along with the bell curve of the rest of the general population, some retarded, some average and some brighter than average. Actually it seems to me that both the very smart psychopaths and the very dumb ones are “worse” in terms of the damage they do. The dumb ones seem to me to be more violent and low-life criminal, and the smart ones seem to be either like Bernie Madoff or the corner office guys who rip off huge chunks of cash–but then there are those like MiLo’s daughter and my son Patrick–smart and STILL become low-life criminals. The thing is though, that just as MiLo’s daughter thinks she has what it takes to teach the son she hasn’t seen in two years (and somehow seems to think she is a GOOD PARENT) my son who has been in prison 99.9% of his adult life, thinks of himself as a SUCCESS IN LIFE! They just DO NOT GET IT. (head shaking here)
Oxy,
‘t’ain’t natural!
LOL!
My mind is still reeling from Milo’s P-daughter’s letter.
I like to think that I can wrap my head around most things, but that one has me stumped. It’s not even close to reality.
If you read “the mask of sanity” by H. Cleckley, he actually documents several similar cases.
In these cases, he describes spaths who do outrageous things and then they get committed to his hospital. When they speak with Dr. Cleckley, or other psychologists, he notices how articulate they are. Many of them seem so well adjusted and intelligent. They speak eloquently and convincingly about how they are going to turn their lives around. They seem to understand exactly what they are doing wrong and how they came to such an erroneous conclusion. They get early release, with the psychologist beaming with pride at the progress made by the patient. Within a week, this same spath has done the most audacious and despicable things imaginable. They end up right back in the hospital (after a brief pitstop in jail, from which their parents or wives bail them). WTF?
My take on these cases is that the spaths are conning everyone including Cleckley. They don’t care about themselves or their future. They only love the idea of other peoples’ wasted investment in their future. At that point, they have complete control. They can topple their family members, their wives and their psychiatrists from their pedestal. All these peoples’ efforts to save them are wasted. The minutes, hours, days, weeks and years spent trying to help and rehabilitate them become a waste.
Spaths take your life. They do it by killing you or by killing you a minute at a time.
Sky, that’s the thing…how can a woman who has not seen her kid in 2 years think she is a good parent? How can a 40 year old man who has been in prison since he was 17 except for a few, and I mean a FEW months (total out time less than a year I think) think he is a SUCCESS in life? How can he think he is qualified by experience or anything else to advise others how to think or run their lives or even balance a check book?
I mean, it just does NOT MAKE SENSE!!!
At least the Bernie Madoffs of this psychopathic group have the outward trappings of “success”—money and power—to make them APPEAR “successful” on the outside. How can Milo’s daughter or my son Patrick, Both of whom are the ULTIMATE LOSERS, a drug addict/convict and a murderer/convict, think that they are big successes?
I honestly don’t think they are faking this either, I think they actually BELIEVE that others will see them as they see themselves. Which makes it DOUBLY difficult to “wrap your head around” it. Sort of like those people who appear otherwise “sane” and yet believe that they have been kidnapped by aliens, transported to some sort of space ship, etc. you think, “How could these people really believe that?” Yet, they do!@....... What sort of EVIDENCE does my son have or MiLo’s daughter that they are some sort of BIG SUCCESS? It is a delusion for sure, but where does it come from? It must be internal, because I can’t imagine anyone showing them anything that would logically lead to that conclusion. Maybe they hang out with such low-lifes (even compared to themselves) that they appear by comparison as “upstanding” citizens. LOL
Well, there are just some things that we can’t wrap our heads around, Sky! Sitting here thinking about it won’t get me a good night’s sleep either so I’m going to bed. Keep it between the ditches!~ G’nite!
The evidence is in how others react to them. That’s all they need: validation.
When you are outraged or sad or angry, that’s an emotional validation that proves they ARE IMPORTANT. This is what they desire, nothing else.
When a person willingly sacrifices their time, money and energy to help them, save them or invest in their ponzi scheme, they know they are important. They don’t have to fear being abandoned. That’s all they care about. They need you to prove to them over and over again that you will do whatever it take to save them.
Sickos.
Sky, I’m doing my best to see that my son Patrick has a roof over his head, a bed and 3 meals a day for the REST OF HIS LIFE! I want to provide for his every need—in prison!!!! LOL
LOL! you kill me.
such a devoted mommy. He should be grateful!
🙂
Sky,
I saw your comment about Aspergers and social situations. I know you’re only trying to relate and help out, but it’s a bit hurtful, because I feel as though you’re chalking this all down to me focusing too much on myself. I understand why you would see it in that way, but Aspergers isn’t really just an issue of focusing on oneself too much, even though the symptoms could appear that way. I mentioned once that it’s like being a three-legged dog, and your idea, to me, sounds a bit like I’m being told to simply walk on the fourth leg to solve the problem. I won’t get into it too much, but I just wanted to say that I was hurt by your response. I don’t think you intended to be hurtful, and perhaps I’m just really sensitive about this topic. It’s been hard to live with, hard to grow with, and even harder to relate with. When I try to talk to anyone about it, the response from the other person usually just creates a bigger divide, because most responses display a general lack of understanding about the condition. One way I think you could understand what I mean is about how we in LF understand sociopathy in a way that the average person doesn’t. If we ever try to explain what happened to the average person (or even some trained psychologists) they don’t “get it” and their responses show this. Even though there is no ill intent from the person we’re sharing with, it can be hurtful when they say something like, “Just get over it,” or, “How could you be so naive?”
Maybe you did have similar experiences and it’s possible that you are somewhere on the spectrum as well. You have mentioned that a few times, otherwise I wouldn’t suddenly suggest that you have some version of Aspergers. The funny thing is that if you ARE on the spectrum, then most likely you’re totally unaware that what you said could be hurtful to me (because that’s unfortunately what Aspies are often famous for).
Okay, now that THAT is out of the way….the letter from Milo!!!
Milo, first of all, you sound like a fantastic parent for an Aspie!!!! It’s great that you just accept the fact that cowboy hats must be worn to Chinese restaurants, and you don’t try to change him. I really want to know why he feels that way, though. He may have seen a movie in which there was a person with a cowboy hat in China. Or maybe he has seen that Chinese traditional hat somewhere and mistook it for a cowboy hat. Thing is, with these weird Aspie quirks, it’s true that YOU are the weirdo for not understanding 😉 I doubt he arrived to a connection between cowboy hats and a Chinese restaurant without seeing or hearing something which he misinterpreted and over-generalized. Something probably sparked this, even if he dreamed it and you were in the dream (so you MUST remember!). With Aspergers, we could both look at something and most people would see the same thing. An Aspie would see something totally different and never realize what everyone else saw, so they would assume that everyone saw what they saw (don’t all people do this to some extent? The difference is probably simply that the Aspie is usually wrong in the assumption that most people saw the same thing as them). Anyways, he sounds so fun to be around. Everyday must be an adventure with a character like that at your side. Sounds like he is one of the few people bold enough to live out every day dream, no matter what anyone else says about it! I also totally agree with him. That outfit that you got him to wear sounds stupid. Just as one Aspie sticking up for another, those outfits are stupid 😀 I love his idea of putting the note there saying he looks stupid!!!
Your P daughter also reminds me of my ex spath!!! He used to point out people when we were outside together and tell me WHO HE WOULD KILL if he were leader of the world. He told me that the most MORAL AND ETHICAL form of government would be fascism, with him on top, because only he knows what is best for the people. He said that the first thing he would do is kill a couple billion people, and he rationalized that he was a REAL HUMANIST because he was thinking about the HUMAN RACE and trying to preserve it by getting rid of people who would damage the development of the human race. He said that fascism with him on top is required, because the masses don’t know what is good for them and only he has enough compassion to be trusted with their fate. One of his favorite lines was, “You have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.” He told me when we first met that he had given a speech at the United Nations when he was in high school and presented his case for Anarchy and mass murder. He said that everyone had agreed with him. When I asked who, what, where, why, when….of course…suddenly he changed the topic and told me I have trust issues if I don’t believe him.
Okay, so STICKING YOUR HEAD IN A BLENDER absolutely Milo!!! Try talking to THAT!!! For goodness sake, the irony is that she argues about ethics and then totally violates other people in her following arguments. Wow. Wow. Wow.
And you got an interesting mix. A P daughter and an Aspie son! Maybe you would understand me then when I say that I feel like antisocial personality disorders are the evil twins of asocial personality disorders. I have long felt that a P or spath is like an Aspie gone SERIOUSLY wrong. I “get them” on some level, but then on other levels, things just get really, really dark.
Ox, your story about your son reminded me of this article:
http://www.blameitonthevoices.com/2009/03/man-sues-himself.html
A prison inmate sues himself, then tries to get the state to pay for the $5 million he is suing himself for, because he doesn’t have the money to pay the lawsuit if he wins/loses. Totally makes no sense, but maybe your son can explain why this is somehow a logical attempt…..haha.
Panther,
I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings, it never occurred to me that it would. I was relating to your story about feeling uncomfortable in social situations. That’s how I remember being as a child too. (except I wasn’t actually smart enough to find a closet or a tree) I just stood there like a wallflower, painfully aware that this wasn’t how you act but not knowing what to do. So anyway, I appreciate that you tell us about what it’s like being an aspie, I don’t know if I had a touch of it as a child or not, but I wanted to offer how I had solved my problem with social anxiety. I’m sorry for overstepping my boundaries. I’m not good with boundaries, but I’m learning.
The latest from the spath.
How does he know that I don’t live there and that I hate my parents? The trojan horse spath, of course. It’s a tell. He loves telling me that he has a trojan in my family – without actually saying it.
What a moron.