A woman goes to the philharmonic in New York City alone. She meets a guy who is also alone. He asks her for a date, she goes once, doesn’t want to go again. She doesn’t return his calls. He sends an e-mail demanding to know why. Woman is so astounded she posts it on the Internet.
Read An investment banker’s cover letter for a second date, on Reddit.com.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
And Sky, rather than saying you are getting married and have a baby on the way (cause then he’d get obsessed with your potential child maybe) you could tell your parents that you are moving to Tibet to become a Buddhist monk.
Panther…LOL she just needs to shave her head first, or they won’t believe her!
Message from P sperm donor.
“I hope life is giving you all the hapiness and adventure you seek
I think of you often. I love you
Me”
That’s all he wrote. It seems SO INNOCENT yet UNNERVES me to no end. As if the 8,000 miles I put between me and him weren’t enough. Where is the moon?
I just blocked his FB AGAIN.
Panther, sorry I missed your comments up above about about your birthday (Happy BD! by the way, we are nearly the same BD!) and the sperm donor message on FB
Yes, your P sperm donor showed you that YOU COULD NOT BLOCK HIM! Just like Michael showed donna that she could not block him.
What you CAN DO though is DO NOT RESPOND. Do not feed him by even responding with a Fark off!
As far as him calling your mom and complaining to her, tell her that he will likely be calling, and that she should NOT talk to him either. I hope she will honor that and just hang up when she realizes it is him.
NC is the ONLY way we can respond to them that is both PAINFUL TO THEM, and enables us to MAINTAIN CONTROL which is what they want, CONTROL! (((hugs))) I had a sperm donor just like him, control control CONTROL!!!!
Panther ~ I hope you hit that “block” button with a good wack. Too bad our brains don’t have a block button, then they would be gone from our thoughts pufff
NC NC NC NC
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Panther,
oh my… they did have a convention.
They called it, “It’s a spath christmas after all.” They decided to take out their little black books and call all the people who had gone NC and do the pity ploy for christmas. I’m sure of it.
OK, let me try to decipher it:
“I hope life is giving you all the hapiness and adventure you seek”
When they wish you happiness, it’s only so they can topple you from your happiness. And adventures can end disastrously…. So, I think this is the spath version of the old Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.” with a twist: You have to be happy first, so that your happiness can be ruined by a disastrous adventure.
“I think of you often. I love you”
This means that he loves thinking of you and how he might make you miserable. He loves thinking of that.
“Me”
Who else? Spaths are always “me”.
I agree with Oxy, go NC and give your mom a head’s up. Tell her any thing he has to say, you don’t want to hear about! Make sure she knows you are serious.
Sorry this had to happen on your birthday. I hope you have a good one anyway. ((happy birthday))
Ox, thanks so much for the feedback on this. I’m glad you see it as him showing me that I cannot block him, although it was a bit hard to miss since he blatantly told me I wasn’t very smart for even trying to. Yet I always doubt my gut feelings and feel guilty for having them.
The last thing I ever wrote to him years ago was: I will never speak to you ever again for the rest of my life.
After that last and final email, I actually mourned his loss as though he’d truly died, because for me, he had. All his privileges as my father were revoked. I’ll never go back on it, but just seeing his face on his profile pic is hard to stomach, because I have to create a fantasy world for myself and pretend he is really in a grave somewhere…otherwise I cannot ever relax.
Control Control CONTROL would be his First Second LAST name.
I won’t respond. I just blocked his FB account again and I’ll delete the message.
Thanks again for the back-up. My head gets spinning, ya know? Why can’t these people TAKE A HINT! I told him NEVER and I meant NEVER. GO AWAY!!!!!!
Ox, you totally get it.
I just want to share with you a funny thing he did once in an attempt to give me fatherly advice. He told me that I was managing my finances all wrong, because I wasn’t applying for bankruptcy but instead attempting to pay all my bills. He said that this was stupid, because he’d filed bankruptcy THREE TIMES and it’s so easy to do. He told me that if I was smart, I’d just run up all sorts of debt, file bankruptcy, and then do it again. It sounds like I am making this up, because one can hardly even IMAGINE a father telling his daughter she is stupid for not relying on serial-bankruptcy as a path to life with multiple cars, houses, and expensive toys. At one point, I learned that he’d racked up over 150K before filing.
It’s amazing for me to be learning about this disorder AFTER going NC and not knowing what exactly was wrong with him in detail, but knowing nonetheless that he was sick and needed to be PERMANENTLY BANNED from my life.
Now I see it clear as day, again and again. 🙁
(((hugs)))
Oh, yeah, I am 28 today! I feel like I’m finally reaching an age where people won’t say, “Ahh, still so young!” to me 😀
Thanks Milo and Sky.
Yeah, I whacked the “block” button already.
Thanks for the decipher Sky!
I think you’re right about the topple thing, but the odd thing about him is that he is either completely oblivious to how he topples people or he is WAY too good at hiding it. In his mind, he is the victim of a bad daughter who was so cold that she won’t even talk to her own father, and all this is because I’m a bitch who likes to play mind games with him. (his own words)
The word “seek” freaked me out for some reason. I feel like he is actually trying to say, “You are out looking for happiness because you don’t have it and you never will because of ME!!!!” He has said similar things to me before, so that is why I read into it this way.
You said:
“Me”
Who else? Spaths are always “me”.
Bingo. 100% spot on. And somehow hilarious.
At this exact moment, I kinda love you! I mean, your deciphering abilities make me all warm and fuzzy, cause it’s so funny 🙂 Did he even need to put “me” at the end there? After all, OBVIOUSLY I wouldn’t mistake the guy with his name and photo for anyone else!!!! There was no need to sign that. 😛 hehehe
Panther,
Yea, sugar, I DO get it…I’ve NC’d my P sperm donor and my P son, and all the dysfunctional people in my “blood family” including my egg donor. As far as living in a “fantasy” that they are dead? What is wrong with that? The “father” you thought you had wasn’t a father at all, just a psychopath trying to teach you how to be a CROOK! Laughing at you for being honest! What kind of a real father does that? None that I know. You didn’t know the WORD for what he was but you knew it was NOT “father.”
So, count yourself SMART beyond your years! And yea, 28 is young, BUT before long you will be like I am–65! I swear it was only “yesterday” that I was your age! The days go slow, but the YEARS GO FAST! Enjoy every hour, every day and every year and every decade of your life!~
Panther ~
Oxy is right, I also swear 28 was only yesterday. You may be young in years, but wise beyond those years.
Keep your chin up.
Oh, did I ever mention that I have a very good looking, smart, kind, talented, single 29 year old son? tehe