A woman goes to the philharmonic in New York City alone. She meets a guy who is also alone. He asks her for a date, she goes once, doesn’t want to go again. She doesn’t return his calls. He sends an e-mail demanding to know why. Woman is so astounded she posts it on the Internet.
Read An investment banker’s cover letter for a second date, on Reddit.com.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
I know I’m late to this thread but this letter is a trigger for me. I was casually dating a guy who seemed nice and interested in doing things with me and my two kids, as he had kids of his own- a younger one that visited in the summer. To make a long story as short as possible, something about this guy didn’t sit all the way right with me. He love bombed me, seemed very interested in quickly becoming a couple and offered to pay for things that seemed inappropriate for just friends. I always refused, however, I must admit after a long dating hiatus I liked having a little bit of friendly attention. He started dropping “tells,” though mainly about his past relationships and his tendency to act violent when confronted in situations even though everyone thought he was a nerd (he works in IT) and so “nice.” I saw the red flags and decided to cool things down and slowly make my exit.
We were supposed to hang out with his daughter, who had just gotten into town, but I canceled because it seemed too complicated to involve our kids when I didn’t really think things could go further. I made it very clear from the beginning we were only friends, which he’d always dismiss saying things could grow and he liked me more than that no matter how I felt about him. He’d even try to make me feel guilty and say it was too bad I wasn’t physically attracted to him (which I definitely wasn’t after that convo lol). This guy was so aggressive and a real piece of work!
Well, after I canceled that family date I received a long email a few days later. Basically, he accused me of having Paranoid Personality Disorder because I didn’t trust him and his intentions. My traumatic past (which I’d never disclosed fully to him, just alluded to family issues) made me paralyzed with fear and I should allow him to “help” me and even offered to go to therapy with me! He went on and on about how he couldn’t believe I could walk away from him, someone who was so caring and altruistic. I really needed help because I was disturbed and would never find love with anyone.
Good thing I had spent time on LF and other ASPD sites, so I saw the baiting and manipulation from 100 miles away. I laughed and sent him a reply linking him to LF’s mainpage describing Sociopaths. I let him know my only issue was trusting even with an inch of my being any Ns, Ss and Ps like him and to never contact me again or I’d take necessary action. He wasn’t that smart so he must’ve googled disorders and came up with PPD. I dodged a bullet with that guy!
Oh yeah, no surprise here but “Mike” is a repeat offender with the emails:
http://bit.ly/sb1gku
Holy Mother of Pearl! Just when I though I was getting near the end of this guys repetitive blatherings, it’s like he took another long deep breath, inhaling and invoking the powers of the Energizer bunny…
This letter cracked me up! 🙂
How many times, how many ways can the man say it?
“You suck, but I want to go out with you again… Pleez???? Pretty Pleez!” (with Spath Scum on top)
He is beyond repetitive and never seems to recite any valid reasons anyone should or (forgive me please?) would WANT to go out with him.
Age, man/woman and a liking of a type of music are all things that predetermine you will get along forever? It may be a nice place to start, but nothing more.
Accusing her over and over of sending mixed signals, claiming to not respect her, calling her impolite, immature, passive agressive and cowardly, yet you still want to go out with her? WHY? Is his bar of standards set that low?
I do hope someone revoked his man card. If he ever had one, that is.
Phoenix, LOL R%OTFLMAO you pegged it, you nailed it! “revoke his man card” Oh,. boy, I needed that belly laugh! Thanks!
Oxy it was first explained to me as
Snip! There went the corner off his Man Card.
My spaths ‘Man Card’ has been snipped into confetti, shredded, folded, spindled, mutilated and burned to ashes. Yet he being the narcisistic piece of work that he is- still thinks he is AWSOME! *eyeroll* gag* hork*
Yea, that’s a good one, Phoenix, I may have to steal that one! LOL Yes, I agree they do not “get it” when they lose a big chunk of their “human card” either! LOL
Hey all,
As I mentioned a few days ago, I had written the most awesome post and then an internal server error made me want to throw my laptop out the window 🙂
So, I’ve finally wandered back. Now I’ve lost the momentum, so I’ll try my best to catch, cause I sorta just went AWOL on this convo back then!
Ox, thank you SO MUCH for your support. When my dad contacted me on my b-day, of course that sent me spinning. Ironically I was already swimming around LF when that message came in. I’m glad to be able to talk to someone who understands. It also helps me not feel like I’m a bad person for writing off my own father. If there had been ANY other way, even an OUNCE of hope, I wouldn’t have. But as we all know, the pathological are the ones that teach us how to give up for once because sometimes there really is not hope.
Sky, how are you now? Did the spath write a new one? It’s been a few days. I want to know why he is able to contact you. It sounds like you’re slacking off on your NC boundaries!!!! Grrrr. Sky…you know better. Block him.
callmeathena, thanks for your feedback, but the reason I said “again” is because he has more than one account. If I block one, he just contacts me via yet another account. He told me that I’m not very smart for blocking him, because he has many email addresses/FB accounts, so I cannot make him really go away.
Milo, thanks for the offer, but I’m seeing quite a darling man right now who I suspect might actually be an Aspie himself. He’s got so many of the traits that it’s just uncanny. I don’t want to go around pointing my finger at people and calling them autistic, but he feels like “my breed” if you know what I mean. At the very least, he’s a total sweetie and he’s slowly redeeming the entire male species in my eyes 🙂
Hens, you’re hilarious.
IMTMR74, I read that other letter. Geeze, this guy is just too much. He really likes to remind everyone that “people don’t grow on trees.” Shall we thank Captain Obvious and then watch him march back to Kook Camp?
Phoenix, did you read the second letter posted by IMTMR74? It just keeps getting….better? worse? So entertainingly disturbing, this one. He cracks me up and sends chills down my spine at the same time. At least I’ve learned better than to try and figure out the strange man. I’ll just bolt as fast as I can in the opposite direction of wherever he is. Your man cardless ex thinks he is still the shiiiite too, huh? He can join my ex’s gang, maybe. They can roll around trying to bum cigarettes off people and flexing their biceps.
Glad you are feeling better Panther. Does your new guy wear funny hats??? LOL – Grand has a new one, a hunting hat with orange ear flaps – it’s a keeper !!!!
Today he went out in the snow and put a white sheet over himself, he said it was the only thing he had for “snow camo”.
OMG that’s awesome! Snow camo! Woah.
My guy doesn’t wear funny hats, but he has his own ticks. Lots of em. One thing about him that I think might be manifestation of something on the spectrum is his facial expressions. He has the strangest expressions. People always think he is either angry, in pain, or really serious and he doesn’t understand why. I have had to get used to this, because I always thought he was angry. This is just one thing. He has peculiar eating and dressing habits, is very aloof, uses language in a peculiar way, and has all sorts of nervous ticks. The more I get to know him, the more he seems like he might fall on the spectrum somewhere. Of course, we really click quite well, so it works great for me!
I don’t know if you see it this way, but I think Grand has a lot of top secret missions going on that he isn’t telling anyone about.
Panther,
your guy sounds like a cutie pie and fun to be around.
thanks for your concern about my spath. Looks like he got the message and stopped emailing me. I like to keep my ear to the ground though, so I know if he is up to something.
Panther
I had the most difficult time going NC from my spath.
I would block him from my email accounts, but then I’d unblock him. I would do the same from my cell phone (all carriers offer this feature). Gmail doesn’t block, but it will throw it in the trash. I’d go dumpster diving to see if it was in the trash.
I finally realized that I was letting him rent too much space in my head. I blocked him from calling home, cell phone, and work. I killed my work and personal email accounts and made new ones that he can’t learn about.
I am finally free.
He can’t get through to me. Period.
I wake up in the morning in peace. There are no manipulations or hatred or evil waiting for me.
It’s been 4 weeks. Joyful.
Athena