A woman goes to the philharmonic in New York City alone. She meets a guy who is also alone. He asks her for a date, she goes once, doesn’t want to go again. She doesn’t return his calls. He sends an e-mail demanding to know why. Woman is so astounded she posts it on the Internet.
Read An investment banker’s cover letter for a second date, on Reddit.com.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
strongawoman
Darminsmom, amazing that bird! I def believe it was genuine. David Attenborough is kind of like a natural history god here in the UK! Lol
The exes parrot could impersonate phones, police sirens, dogs barking and pigeons cooing. She was highly entertaining. When we had a meal she would say mmmm with the appropriate inflection in her voice.
Ps. Happy birthday Ox x
one/joy_step_at_a_time
darwinsmom – your post is truly. thank you. xxx one joy
coping
One joy,
Thank you for the response to the B- question. I really appreciate it….
I need to re-read when I’m it a different state of mind. It was very thought provoking and I actually have a few questions.
I will re-read and catch up on the thread…
I was reading a few articles and I just saw you online and wanted to thank you…
Hope you are well.
xo
C-
one/joy_step_at_a_time
hi coping – you are very welcome. I appreciate the chance to think about these things and write about them. whenever you have a chance to ask… 🙂 xo
panther
Happy Birthday Oxy. How are we supposed to know people’s birthdays in here? Ox, you’re a Sagittarius, like me 🙂 My birthday is tomorrow (12-12). Ox…are you getting a tattoo? What the heck? Really?
Darwinsmom, have you seen the film Motherhood with Uma Thurman in it? Your day reminds me of that film. If you haven’t seen it, you might like to watch it after the day you just had, cause I bet you can relate. Main difference is that all her trouble relates to motherly tasks, but everything that can go wrong does go wrong for her. I am not a mother but still found the movie hilarious. We’ve all had those days. Your day, though stressful, had me giggling a little, cause I felt like I could imagine myself in the exact same conundrum. I have that sort of luck too, and then I try to do the right thing, yet take all the wrong turns. Yup. Yup. I also start journeys anticipating that I will get lost. I turn up to places 30 mins early many times, and people think I’m weird, but when I’m early, that just means I didn’t get lost that day for a change 😉 hehehe
Hi coping. Hi One-joy.
I won’t be on LF very long today, but it looks like I missed a whole lot of talk about birds and parrots. Boy have I got a story. For another time, though. It’s hilarious, yet I have never tried to tell the story via typing. I think it might loose its funniness in e-form.
skylar
Hi Panther,
in case you don’t come on tomorrow, Happy Birthday.
panther
Oh, by the way, Ox, thanks for the book recommendation. I’m kinda fickle when it comes to Aspergers research. I have all sorts of weird emotions related to it. On the one hand, I feel like some version of a retard, which is pretty uncomfortable to think about too long. This is why I sometimes bring up the topic but am hesitant to dig too deep into it. I hate identifying myself with a form of “retardation.” It’s really hard to stomach that as part of my personal identity. I’m really split about it, because I like knowing there is a reason for what I’ve been going through all my life, but the reason is a hard pill for me to swallow. On the other hand, I reason with myself that having traits on the autism spectrum makes me different, but who is to say that the norm is necessarily better. Whenever I read anything on Aspergers, I feel like someone snuck into my head and told the world all my thoughts. Then I remember that I have a form of autism, feel totally weird about it, and want to hide under a rock for awhile until I can imagine myself as a normal person again, like everyone else. I mean I’m not sure if reading more about it would help or if I should focus on dealing with it so that the effects aren’t so pronounced. Part of me wants to embrace it as an alternative way to live life and stop trying to fit in. I dunno. Oddly, a therapist I had years ago thought that my personality was actually Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. She said that I had suffered so many traumatic experiences without healing breaks in-between that PTSD had embedded itself into my personality and become part of my character, a syndrome version of it. Though I was always an unusual child, I didn’t get tested for Aspergers before all the traumas, so I don’t know if I score so high for Aspergers because of inborn traits or if I’m actually displaying a lot of Aspie traits as a result of getting tweaked into something abnormal through trauma over long periods of time. My mom, though she refuses to even consider it, has so many Aspergers traits that she could be the Aspergers’ poster child, so to speak. She’s even VERY low on empathy, but has no ill intentions. She’s just sort of an emotionally “checked out” person when it comes to relating with other people (yet cries a lot over all sorts of other things), and she has been this way for as long as I can remember. She’s extremely quirky, lives in a world that I swear only she has seen, and has a really hard time forming sentences and expressing herself, even though she is well-read and has a high vocabulary. When I learned that I was some version of an Aspie, I did a lot of research and realized that whatever traits I may have, if this is in fact Aspergers and not PTSS, came from her, without question. She’s the whole list, except she doesn’t think that getting her hair cut is painful (I read somewhere that some Aspies think hair cuts are painful. What the…?!?!?)
I’ll check out that book, despite my shyness to approach its contents. I’ve been trying the ostrich approach to this for a long time: put my head in the dirt and pretend it’s not happening.
panther
Thanks Sky 🙂
When is your b-day? I guess the only way to learn b-days in here is to start asking people, right?
And by the way, I read your posts about that banker’s letter. You think he might be an Aspie. Hmm. True, he’s socially awkward. He *could* be, but he seemed very degrading, controlling, domineering. I would put him closer to a spath. Maybe the reason you think of him more like an Aspie is because his “mask” wasn’t that good, and spaths usually have slightly better masks, right? They are total tricksters, and this guy was pretty obviously f**ked up. Total tactlessness is definitely something similar to Aspergers, but he seemed to be trying to use manipulation and control tactics on her, too. This guy was trying to use ANYTHING to get this woman to respond, even to tell him she doesn’t like him. I remember when I went NC with my ex-spath, he sent me a long letter DEMANDING that I tell him WHY I was breaking up with him. Thing is, we don’t know what this guy did on the date. And, as was the case with my ex, his demand to tell him why was actually a ploy to get me to respond so that he could drag me into an argument about why my reasoning was illogical. What I see is that if she had answered that and told him why she didn’t want to go out with him, then politely asked him to leave her alone, he would have prepared the next email, picking apart her every word, telling her that she is mistaking a real relationship for a Hollywood movie, which is immature, telling her that she’s a judgmental person for thinking of him in such a way without getting to know him first, accusing her of leading him on even more for playing with her hair when this is how she really felt, and then maybe accusing her of lying to him and even herself because she is actually “scared” of falling for a real man, afraid of finding someone she was truly compatible with and being with her soulmate. This, he would reason, means that she is yet another woman who doesn’t know what she wants, because she could be out on a date with a man who is made for her yet deny him, thus confirming his lost-faith in women and making him finally know for sure that they all just like to complain about looking for Mr. Right, but then deny him when he’s right in front of her. He might also throw in there, for good measure, that she doesn’t seem totally perfect either, and based on her immature, erratic way of ignoring him and then responding to him, she seems to be playing a yo-yo game with him and is maybe even bipolar, which means that she is being hypocritical for making assumptions about his mental stability when in fact she has some issues as well.
This is why you go NC with a spath. If she ignored a normal man, that might be rude. But if she is ignoring a spath, then she is actually doing what is supposed to be done when dealing with a spath.
I think he’s more like a spath. That’s my final vote. I wouldn’t go Aspergers for this guy, and I don’t feel sorry for him. You have too good of a heart and want to see the best in people, but I think you missed the flags with this guy’s letter. Just my view of it.
MiLo
Panther ~
Happy Birthday tomorrow. Mine is at the end of the month, right after Christmas, so I always got gyped out of gifts, everyone said, hey you just got Christmas gifts, cake, why there are cookies left. LOL – not really that bad.
I don’t have time right now, Grand will be home from basketball practice any minute BUT I can’t wait to get your feedback on things like transitioning and OCD symptoms. You see Grand insists on wearing the same clothes day after day, until they fall totally apart. It is like life and death to him. There is much more, I’d love your take on. I will post later, when I see you are on.
Thanks
Oh, I think the hair cutting thing comes from sensory integration issues, Grand has lots of those.
skylar
Panther,
my ex-spath would never have used a letter like that. This guy is actually trying to use persuasive arguments based on “data”. ex: twirling hair = you like me.
His arguments are so desperate that nobody would fall for them.
For a look into how my spath would respond, please refer to “campfire of my love” LOL!
He goes for the emotional jugular, no logical arguments required.
blah blah blah, it goes on and on about his pain, his PAIN, HIS PAIN!!!!!!!!!! There are several more paragraphs, if you care to read them, let me know.
The banker just doesn’t strike me as a spath. I’d say schizoid is more like it. Trying to logically persuade someone that their emotions are wrong is like trying to skate on water, the two are not compatible unless the water is frozen.
Spaths know that and they want desperately to mimic the words of poets and song writers. Some do manage it. My spath – not so much. But it had worked on me before, when I was ignorant of what spaths were, because despite the lameness of his attempts, I would attribute the ATTEMPT to a feeling human being, who just couldn’t quite articulate his feelings but really really wanted to.
THAT’S how spaths work you