Editor’s note: Be sure to read both articles that Ox Drover links to.
By Ox Drover
I ran across two articles in NY Times that sort of got me to thinking about how it sometimes does pay off to act like a psychopath—in business or other ways.
The following (quite long) article tells how an Internet seller terrorized his customer. I think that many people who have been the victims of psychopathic-like stalking can relate to this woman’s story. The fact that it was over such a relatively small amount of money is amazing to me, though. The lengths to which this stalker pursued his victim are also amazing to me.
Read A bully finds a pulpit on the web on NewYorkTimes.com.
This follow up article tells how, eventually, through the persistence of the victim in pursuing justice for the bullying psychopathic-like stalking she got from the abuser, it turned out that the man didn’t get away with his campaign, and now local, state and federal authorities are getting on the band wagon to go after this guy.
Read U.S. arrests online seller who scared customers on NewYorkTimes.com.
The guy even got denied bail. Yea for that judge “getting it.” It will be interesting to me to see how this plays out and just how much real jail/prison time this guy actually gets. While I can’t diagnose someone out of the newspaper, I really do feel that this man fits the criteria for many of the traits of a psychopath and he definitely is a stalker.
Hi ox drover ,
Are you sure it is not your friend that is the psychopath . Why is she going after married men in the first place . My X had me believing all kinds of terrible things about her x boy friends and her X husband . The stories were so elaborate and detailed that I could hardly not believe them . She took the blame transfer trait to the highest level . As time went on I got to hear the other side of the story from one of her X boy friends and also from her X husband . Of course you may be thinking , how did I know they were telling the truth . Well the X boy friend was in total shut down for about 2 years . He was not a personal friend of mine but I did know him enough to say hi on the street . It was obvious to everyone who knew him something was wrong but nobody new exactly what . When I met him on the street a couple of times he seemed to be in a state of shock . After I split with the X I decided I would go talk to him . By chance we met and I was determined to pick his brain . We stood on a street corner for an hour talking about our mutual X . Once I prompted him the flood gates opened and it all came pouring out . The same stuff I had experienced all over . The X husband , the same story . The X husband had not been with her for 10 years but had to still deal with her because they had a kid together . The kid lived with the X . Neither guy realised what they were dealing with until I explained it to them . The X husband has now read almost as many books on the subject as me . The first book he read was without conscience which I gave to him and told him, keep it , you may have to read it a few times . 6 months after that I ran into him in the home depot . He came up behind me , taped me on the back and held out his hand . We shook hands , then he said ” Thanks for that, it explained 10 years of my life that I didn’t understand .
http://www.obgyn.net/displayarticle.asp?page=/yw/articles/romeopart5
I found if I change “5” into other numbers, I get to read the other posts.
Dear Quest,
No I don’t think she is a psychopath, I think she is a woman who has very poor self esteem even though she is very bright and educated. She is known world wide in her profession, but the culture she grew up in is very male oriented, and she is very lonely, living away from her family in another country. She is vulnerable to the charming, successful smooth-talking men who tell her that she is beautiful (she is) and what witches their wives are and how they live at home but it is only a “marriage for convenience sake” for the “sake of the kids” and all that crap that married men tell the woman they are trying to get into bed.
She WANTS to believe that their marriage is only for the sake of the kids and he is really planning on a divorce already. I can understand that desire to find someone of her own professional and educational level. It is a FANTASY on her part, but she still believes in “Santa Claus” and what these men tell her will come true.
The link Katydid posted above is a good one, and the thing is if a married man will cheat WITH YOU he WILL CHEAT ON YOU as well. (or woman as the case may be)
That’s the thing, I think, is that if someone is DISHONEST and doesn’t keep their promises or obligations to others, what would make you think they will keep their obligations and be honest with you?
I may be becoming somewhat cynical but I am being very CAREFUL about giving away my trust—and people who have a PAST HISTORY of being UNtrustworthy are fighting a big uphill battle to get my trust—that includes ex-convicts, ex-drug addicts, ex-alcoholics or anyone else who has shown a PATTERN of dishonest behavior. I need someone else dishonest in my life like I need another hole in my head!
That doesn’t mean that SOME people who have been to jail or been addicts or alcoholics can’t “reform” and turn over a new leaf, but since the MAJORITY OF THEM DO NOT REFORM, I am just going to play the odds, and stay away from trusting them with the key to my house or my bank box! I’m still a sucker for a sob story, but I’m more picky about making sure that the people I try to help are doing the best they can to help themselves first. If my son C gets into a financial hole, it is one HE DUG HIMSELF, so there’s not any financial help available here but he e mailed me the other day about some medical questions about some tests he had and I gladly answered them. I would have done the same thing for anyone who had asked, so why wouldn’t I do it for him? He’s not a psychopath, just not the kind of man I wish he was, so my dealings with him will be very limited. I’m not afraid of him, or that he will rob my house or anything like that, but he just isn’t truthful with me, so I can’t depend on him to keep his word or not to lie to me. But I DO keep my word. And my word is that if you lie to me, you are out of my circle of trust. He knew that when he lied to me. He chose to lie anyway. End of that story.
Well I know what you are saying Ox Drover . Truth seems to be a rare commodity these days . The whole way that men and women communicate these days seems to be totally screwed up . I see many relationships and think to myself , I wouldn’t want to be in either of their shoes for all the tea in china . It gets to the point where one asks oneself what does a real or good relationship look like . Then of course there is me , given that I have tended to fall for the wrong kind of woman in the past . What the hell does a good woman look like . They should wear labels . In the last couple of years whenever I have met a woman that I found myself attracted too the alarm bells go off . Something inside me says , wait a minute buddy if I am attracted to them chances are they are psychopaths or a lesser version of such . Now I realise this is a hopeless way of thinking and of course my friends most of whom do not understand the whole concept of a psychopath figure I should just get over it and move on . Good idea , I say , but of course now I am so hyper aware of any psychopathic traits , that any slip of the tongue by someone sets the alarm bells ringing . Oh well such is the human condition . Funnily enough a couple of years ago I was on a flight from where I live going south and I got to sit next to a woman who was a forensic psychiatrist . Man what a conversation that was . Basically her job was to assess witnesses in certain criminal cases to determine whether there were psychopaths around distorting all the facts . Well this totally blew me away as it meant the authorities were at least aware of the problem . One comment she also added was that the north seems to be lousy with psychopaths for no apparent reason .