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People will complain about drums, but not domestic violence

A guy playing the drums in a Johannesburg townhouse complex drew complaints within minutes. The blood-curdling screams of domestic violence drew no reaction.

This was all shockingly documented in an online video released by a South African advocacy group, People Opposing Women Abuse (POWA).

Read Video test of domestic abuse awareness in South Africa gets more than 500,000 hits in DailyMail.co.uk.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.


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39 Comments on "People will complain about drums, but not domestic violence"

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You know this article about this was “surprising” to me in some ways but in other ways NOT SURPRISING AT ALL. I remember the hoopla about Kitty Genovese (spelling may be wrong on last name) who cried and screamed over half an hour or more and was heard by dozens of people as she screamed for her life as she was stabbed to death and NO ONE CALLED THE COPS or tried to help.

Afterward “studies” were done that “proved” that if 1 or 2 people hear or observe they will usually help, but if there are lots of folks around, each person waits on the others to help and so ultimately NO one helps.

Lately there has been a “candid camera” show called “what would you do” which sets up actors doing things in public and films whether people will stop to help others being brutalized verbally, or in distress, or lost children, or children who are being “openly groomed” and MOST PEOPLE DO NOT HELP or get involved but walk on by.

A few people do intervene when someone is verbally or physically abusing someone else, or openly grooming a child who is by themselves, or a drunk staggering around about to get into a car while leading a child by the hand, etc. It is NOT reassuring that most people (the vast majority) will NOT “get involved.”

One of my vivid memories from when I was 12 was me physically jumping on a man who was beating a horse that had fallen and could not get up, and I bit a plug out of his neck (almost literally, I did draw blood) I didn’t stop to think I just jumped on the man’s back like a rabid monkey (I got into big time trouble with my family for doing it too!) DUH!

I guess even at that age I had this desire to fight for the underdog and damn the torpedoes and act on impulse. It’s a wonder it didn’t get me killed, but I think that most of the people here on this blog would also have “jumped in” or at least said something, not hung back and watched.

And give me a sob story, and boy I’m there for you! Well, I used to be anyway, I don’t fall for the “pity ploy” so much any more.

Quite a few years ago I had cut off the P son from contact for nearly a year, and I finally got these “guilt inducing” letters about how pitiful he was without a soul in the world to come visit him OR SEND MONEY but he would make it even though his family had deserted him, POOOOOOOOR BABY!” Well, sheeeet, I fell for it, and started sending money and writing to him and then visiting and SENDING MONEY, and poooor baby!

Yea, the operative words are “SEND MONEY, BIATCH!” But no more. I may be a sucker for a sob story, but I don’t send money to convicts any more—I even used to send money to one of his buddies who “had no family that cared” Oh, gosh was I ever a SUCKER!!!! Sent the guy money, letters and wanted to save his soul. Hell I would have let the guy have paroled to my house—but that guy was, I AM SURE, just another TROJAN HORSE psychopath, but he didn’t get out on parole when he thought he would and so the P son sent the Trojan Horse who was off parole and could come to another state.

But I have learned how to call 911, and so I will still do that if Ii think someone is in trouble, but I will NOT rush in with guns a blazing, or stop on the side of the road and give someone a lift, but I will pull up and roll the window down enough to ask them if they have a cell phone and if not, I will call 911 for them…..let them in my car? NOT ON YOUR LIFE, UNLESS I SEE THEM BLEEDING.

I got rid of the rental houses so I don’t have to worry about a back ground check on renters any more (the ONLY way I would rent to someone if I did have rentals would be a FULL background and credit check by a private investigator) I ALMOST rented to a wanted felon once years ago—should have learned from that one! DUH!

CAUTION is the watch word. I don’t live in terror, but I AM VERY CAUTIOUS and don’t take ANY stranger at face value. Remember Ted Bundy? The guy with his arm in a sling? “Please help me, I’m injured.” Worked like a charm for old Teddie and got some women killed.

I think it boils down to our thoughts about ‘minding your own business’.

It’s OUR business if our ‘peace’ is disrupted by musical noise, party noise, kids running around the upstairs apt. noise, moving furniture in the middle of the night……
YOUR DISTURBING ME.

Then the screaming/fighting…..becomes NOT our business…..we can easily look the other way…..it takes balls to intervene and 99% of society DON”T HAVE BALLS.
We think, we don’t want to be involved…..we don’t want them to know we heard them, we can easily pretend it’s not happening.
We justify.

But, we won’t justify drums being played or other ‘non personal’ offenses of our peace…..so we confront.

It’s societies warped way of thinking…..NO ONE WANTS TO GET INVOLVED.

We dont think about the offender of noise being armed, drunk or pissed off if we confront. It’s NOT a contentious situation to start with.
We do think of the offender of DV being armed, drunk or pissed off IF we confront…..and we can justify not getting involved because WE may be hurt too. It’s already a contentious situation…..

For me…..this is a ‘gift’ I have come out of my spath relationshit with……DAMN IT……If I see something harmful…..my nose is right up your ass! I WON”T HOLD ANYONES SECRETS!
I did for too long!
I remember seeing a road rage situation on the frw…..right before my divorce was finalized…..the guy ran a little car right into the median, after he plowed his car a few times…..DURING RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC.
AS he dragged the car to a stop, the guy jumped out, jumped over his truck to the drivers window and punched it out and repeatedly punched the driver.
I was still behind the cars……as traffic had halted…..My first reaction was to go rambo on this guy……then I decided to pull up in front and call 911. Maybe it wasnt’ in my best interest to go Rambo on a violent/crazy MOFO……so I stuck around and waited for cops to come…..they didn’t take long…..I thought well, if MOFO takes off, I’ll follow him……
But, a confrontation wouldn’t be good.
It was ME and another lady who were the only ones to call it in and stop. Out of ALL rush hour……
The cops called me later that evening and met with me, saying the perp had blamed the victim…..I said, yeah….NO WAY. I don’t know what went on to start this mess, but the truck MOFO was definately the perp and aggressor.

I never got called, so I can only assume he pled guilty….he was arrested and my statement matched the other womans.

I just remember all the times in the past few years EVERYONE around me ran the other way and how that felt……and I thought….I can’t do that. This guy needs someone to speak up for him. He was a stranger…..and I was willing.

It took me living how I did to step up.

SAD!

Dear EB,

Yea, I agree with you, it isn’t in your best interest to go RAMBO on someone who is enraged and violent (and many times armed) but it doesn’t make much to dial 911.

Oh, don’t know if you followed it or not, but I ahve been following some of the shiat going on across the border in Tx and CA. This small town had all the cops killed in Mexico because the gangs had outgunned them for a while, so this WOMAN decided to be the CHIEF OF POLICE and she was NOT GOING TO CARRY A GUN, and she was going to GET PEOPLE TO COOPERATE so they could have a SAFE and sane town.

Well, guess what—-the narco-goons KILLED HER PRETTY BUTT!

The thing is that when you are dealing with folks who are PSYCHOPATHS or MEAN AS SNAKES (sorry Star!) you can not “play nice” with them and get them to cooperate with your “let’s play nice guys” attitude. I am not RAMBO and you are not either. I am not going to go in trying to shoot my way out of a battle with the narco-goons who have no conscience, like the 14 year old hit-man that they just caught. He freely admitted he was slashing the throats of at least 7 people—for crying out loud, the KID has no conscience at 14 and is dangerous as a rattle snake. He grew up hard, and who knows what his DNA is/was but it was “become a killer or we will kill you” and he chose to live and kill.

They just dug up another 18 bodies of some folks that got kidnapped, but they kidnapped and killed (beat all but two of them to death, the two they shot) the wrong guys, so the narco gang, killed the killers who made the mistake and pinned a note to them saying, “Sorry, we killed the wrong folks, so the big guys killed us.” WTF????

So you hear someone getting beaten to death you are going to jump in the fray? NOT if you are smart, but, you can call 911 and stay the fark out of Mexico.

Do you remember the poster we had here for a short time a year or more ago who lived in the Barrio (a gringa) and was afraid of her neighbors who were gang members? If you are in such a situation there is no choice but to LEAVE if you have to walk, and get the fark “out of Dodge.” If your psychopathic X is violent and stalking you, sometimes there is no choice but to leave and run no matter what it costs you or what you have to leave behind.

I remember how I kept thinking I would not give up, I was going to DEFEND what was mine because they had NO RIGHT to try to force me out of my own home. DUH!!! Yea, they had no right, that is true, but how can you stay up 24/7 wondering which window they are going to shoot you through, or when they are going to pour gasoline on your house and strike a match? This is not a fort, and I don’t have an army of people to shoot out the windows to keep the bad guys away. It isn’t being a coward to leave here, even if I have to put my pack on and walk away, to save my life. I realized that his house is nothing but sticks and bricks and that I am not willing to die to try and defend it.

I’m willing to help someone if they are in trouble, but I am not going to throw myself in front of a bus to do it. I want to help people who are abused—so I donate a few bucks to the DV shelter. I want to help homeless kids…so I help educate the CASA volunteers. I want to help foster kids, so I donate a steer to the orphanage. I hear someone being beaten, I call 911. I see an old lady fall I reach a hand out to her. If I see Crazy Bob’s horses on the road, I call the sheriff, if I see the other neighbor’s horses out, I put them up! LOL

one/joy_step_at_a_time

oxy – to all things a season.

‘I’m willing to help someone if they are in trouble, but I am not going to throw myself in front of a bus to do it. I want to help people who are abused—so I donate a few bucks to the DV shelter. I want to help homeless kids”so I help educate the CASA volunteers. I want to help foster kids, so I donate a steer to the orphanage. I hear someone being beaten, I call 911. I see an old lady fall I reach a hand out to her. If I see Crazy Bob’s horses on the road, I call the sheriff, if I see the other neighbor’s horses out, I put them up!’

I call the cops a lot. anything i see or hear that’s not right, i call. even the things that might be nothing – i call. i don’t hesitate anymore, although i am concerned about getting a ‘rep’ with the police and that they might stop responding. When i was in central america i saw how ineffectual the police were there – no boat, no bullets, everyone’s your cousin – murder and mayhem, DV, robbery and gang rape…it was an intense 4 months, and i was damn glad to be living on the property of someone who got respect for his attitude and his 9 mm, and to get back home, where a cop has bullets and training and duty.

i also do intervene, but not as much as i used to. when i was younger i had a bad habit of physically intervening. never got hurt, but got threatened a few times. the last time that i spoke truth to nasty BS, was (well, hehe not that long ago actually – maybe 3 years ago) standing in a long line in a government office. (okay, there was also the crazy boy and i use that termed advisedly who lived upstairs who i dealt with this year…but i digress) A man was berating his pregnant wife, and his hose bag mother was helping him. I told him to knock it off, and they told me it ‘was none of my business’. i told him that in fact, it was. A few words were exchanged and he backed down, but they were both pieces of work. I went to sit down after getting my number for the line, and the (very young) wife came and sat close by me. I told her she didn’t have to put up with a life like that, that there was so much more for her in the world. She told me, NO ONE had EVER stuck up for her. I gave her info about the DV shelter, and as much encouragement as i could in a few short minutes.

When i got up to the counter, I reported what this guy had done and what i had done and asked for a security escort to my vehicle. Turns out the guy had been out of prison (and we only have max. here) for two days, hence his colorful language and willingness to ‘banter.’

I consider calling the cops on the loud college parties important too – yep, they are noisy privileged cretans, but they are also extremely drunk and drugged and that puts them at risk for all kinds of fowl play – especially the girls. When i see them at there street parties or in the club area (too small to actually call it a district!) I am always concerned for their legless selves. a drunk girl is a girl at risk. i remember.

I guess to a certain extent “with age comes wisdom” I am learning to step up but to not put myself at such risk to do so, and to use more RESOURCES rather than just myself.

I won’t say that I wouldn’t EVER “Rambo” it if I saw a child in immediate danger of death or serious injury, I probably would.

The other night on my way home I spotted a drunk and/or reckless driver and I called 911 and actually followed the guy while I was on with 911 for about 10 minutes and the guy turned off on to another road and I even followed him there for a while until He recklessly and illegally passed another car in front of me and took off at a high rate of speed (but At that time I told the 911 dispatcher that the guy would be in another county before the local guys could ge4t to him and that I was breaking off pursuit and going back home…but I have no doubt that the guy had the cops waiting for him when he crossed the county line. I also was able to get his license number so he will be on a “hot list” even if they didn’t catch him on the spot.

It was no risk for me to just follow behind this guy, but when it would have been risky for me to keep up, I backed off. I still did what was RIGHT in trying to help the police get a drunk and/or reckless driver off the road WITHOUT ENDANGERING MYSELF.

Good for you, ONe_step, and maybe that young woman didn’t take your advice that day, but I bet at some point in time she will remember what you said to her, and act on it. It may be years down the road before she really gets the lesson, but it is sitting there waiting for when SHE IS READY. Good for you.

Not only are domestic violence screams ignored, they are also underreported! Women and children around the world tolerate this behavior in their own home and then the next day pretend it didn’t happen. Been there, done that. I believe the reasons are either people don’t want to be bothered by the legal system or dont want to be retaliated against by the abuser.

didnt know where to post this but – i am reaching for help – feel like i am having a soft heart and i am sure being naive..

The SOCIOPATH RETURNS:
After 1.5 years of no contact – the sociopath reappeared. This is the same guy who took $40,000 in loans. lied to the police about a motorcyle i had put in my name for him. I reported it stolen – he told the police that he returned it to me. This is also the same guy 1.5 years who spit in my face and battered me in front of my 16 year old. Then proceeded to take everything he ever bought out of my house. (Can you believe he returned each item, in the same bag that he used to take it from me) after 1.5 years.

He has returned – and sent me this text message: His exact words “I’m sorry if you find this disrespectful, but I didn’t know how else to contact you. I apologize for the way things turned out between us, and by me having a daughter, I would never want someone to treat my child that way. I was wondering if we could meet up at holuahans or a nice place to eat. I need to talk to you before I move. I have something I need to give you. I totally understand if you decline my offer, but we are all human, and we all make mistakes. Please text me or call with your response at xxx-xx-xxxx.”

I thought i could handle this – so i met up with him “i wanted to hear what he had to say,” – he appologize and it felt very sincere, he let me tongue thrash him and said, “he deserves” it all. He seemed totally different from the man i used to know – who woulda cut me down from opening my mouth. He hasn’t been harrassing me. emails me periodically but nothing like before. I know they don’t change but how can this be a an act? it seemed so natural. he has not been harassing me. I hope he has changed.

NOooooooo. A thousand times NO. This man battered you in front of your child. What sort of an example is this to your baby. (cos that’s what your child is) Is it ok for someone to beat you and then say ‘sorry’.

He’s manipulating you. He stole your money, spat at you and now he turns up and says meet up!!!

DING DONG……..RED FLAG…….He’s not ‘moving’ all he wants is to get back with you.

Sorry I’m going on but they do not change.

It may have been a year and a half or a lifetime and a half – HE HAS NOT CHANGED.

Be strong – kick him out of your life NOW.

Ok….I’m calming down……sorry but I speak from experience.

I kicked my spath out, he disappeared for 6 weeks (back to his old girlfriend that he keeps on the backburner). Then he turns up wanting to talk. I told him to clear off, then he showed his true colours, he started pushing me around.

It’s a long story but the police were called. He stayed at a hotel for a week still trying to get back with me. I stayed no contact.

Then his parting shot (from this loving man!!) he pays his hotel bill with my credit card details, and steals money out of my account, then clears off back to his ex.

So they try it on……if they don’t get what they want they revert to their usual patterns of behaviour.

So please for your sanity and the welfare of your child do not be tempted to let him back in.

He didn’t break me
I guess you’re going to find out 1 way or another. Regardless of how it turns out let’s try to minimize the damage and maximize the gains Using your new knowledge about psychopaths.
First of all has he offered to repay you any money?
Being sorry is more than just words you have to make amends. paying back the money he owes you and giving you your motorcycle back would be a start.
Secondly do not allow yourself to be vulnerable in anyway. do not tell him your hopes and dreams, or your plans or who your friends are or where you work.
Use gray rock, be boring. Your goal should be to get your money back and to make him show his true colors, so that you can have closure.

I agree, AFTER he has paid you back all he owes you, then you can listen to him…..so do not hold your breath! He is just trying to con you again,

FOOD ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU, FOOL ME TWICE, SHAME ON ME!!!

If you take him back, you have been warned and are stepping in as a VOLUNTEER VICTIM. We didn’t warn you, HE did, by how he treated you the first time. ACTIONS not words.

OMG, thank you so much – reality check reality check.

I am back on earth now. All of you are right. He did not offer to make amends about money or the motorcycle.

I am not going to be a “volunteer victim” – and I love my daughter and she and I are both happy that I dont have him in my life. 1.5 years – No Contact! I am continuing on. I appreciate you all so so so much.

He is not going to pay me back anything – i know that just like i know how he treated me in the past. I am good now. i thank you so very much.

Dear hedidn’tbreakme,

GOOD FOR YOU!!!! TOWANDA!!!!

Every time you think about anything “nice” about him, go into your kitchen, get out your biggest skillet and BOINK yourself on the head as hard as you can and say to yourself “Ox Drover just reminded me what an assface he is” LOL

Seriously, you would only be more meat for his grinder, and I think he is out of “supply” is why he came back into your life. They frequently will go back through their “little black book” of phone numbers when they are out of money, aren’t getting laid, are being found out as a cheat, don’t have a place to sleep etc. and they think “well maybe I can hook back up with X” They start in on the sweet nothings and hope we have forgotten the REALITY of what they DID and will listen to what they SAY.

Glad you are back to sanity! It is easy enough to listen to their spin and their lies…but remember HE IS THE LIE. (((hugs)))) and God bless!

thanks Ox Drover: You hit the nail on the head – he is out of his supply – and the little black book is what he is working on. I am so glad that you are here to help me knock sense back into my head….the skillet worked. I am FINE!

I didnt work this hard to get back into his web of deceit. i will not text, email or any communication with him! NC is in full effect!

Dear hedidn’tbreakme,

Sugar the top of my head is FLAT from the BOINKS I’ve had to deliver to myself! It does work, if I keep hitting my head hard enough and often enough! LOL

There is some stupid ad on TV that I hate, haven’t seen it lately though, where the guy goes “la, la, la, can’t hear you!” But that is the thing with the psychopaths or any dysfunctional abusers out to use us, and that is we cannot LISTEN to their lies, if we listen, they are like the “Siren’s song” and lure us into their webs.

NC protects us.

hedidntbreakme…….well done you.

It’s 4am and here I am worrying about you and how vulnerable you are just now. So I fired up the computer to see what everyone thought of your situation.

So pleased you had the foresight to ask your REAL FRIENDS on here. They give good advice.

The crowd on here do not ask us for money, steal from us, punch us in the face, turn us into gibbering wrecks or fill us with fear. They help us, teach us, feel our pain…….and what is their charge for this service? Nil. So yes these (not spath) are our real friends who can be relied upon.

BOINKS all round. Ouch!!

hedidntbreakme:

I second all of the above and would like to add something of my own that I find myself writing here over and over and over again (to remind myself as much as anyone else here) –

EVERYTHING they do, say or think is for a reason; EVERYTHING is a part of their Masterplan. They do NOTHING for any of the “normal” reasons that we might do the same thing.

Imagine he moves on.
Somewhere down the track, he cons someone else (this is a given) and they become suspicious.
They back-track.
They look you up and ask your opinion and for your advice. Which position would you rather be in now?

The one where you tell them to run like hell because no good will come of it and their instincts are spot on? (So – you help them to save themselves, the way that you wish someone could have helped you when it was your turn)

Or the one where you say, “Yeah, well, he did used to be a bit irresponsible and we did have a falling out but then he did come round and apologise and we still keep in touch and basically I think he’s an okay kind of guy now…” (So – you help them to stay stuck where you used to be and they get even more hurt)

Well???? (You don’t have to answer – I know that you already know)

So agree with other posters – don’t walk back down that road of taking him back. I did it and lost another year of my life in the worst stress and no it couldn;t be made amicable. We couldn;t remain friends. No contact no contact no contact.

You did the right thing in waking up from his spell – they’re so alluring – like the snake in the garden of Eden.

only WITHOUT any “apples”….

Yes, I thank you all – in just “one” visit with him, i felt my self-esteem being tested (he made a comment that i was REAL skinny and he knows how i feel about that, he always liked me with a lil weight on in the right places). i felt like i was in competition mode again (trying to be perfect like the model women he is so interested in). I was walking around asking people do i look skinny, starting to overeat – WDF! “one visit!”

The other thing is – I asked him at the visit if he was a Sociopath – he said, “put your hands in my hands, i feel & I hurt too”- he said “do u feel that” the warmth of his hand – my dumb @@@ at the time was feeling like, he is “normal.”

I didnt like the feeling at all and its ALL SO FAMILIAR. Not going back, Today is a good day! Ox Drover, Aussiegirl, candy, pollyannanomore! You dont know how much your comments helped…i think, NO, I WAS falling for the charm and appologies….plain n simple “Supply” “Supply” “Supply” right now he is sitting back – thinking, I got that sucker again, but little does he know – he will NOT HEAR FROM ME AGAIN!

Dear Hedidn’tbreakme,

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

Resolve! Resolve!!! RE-SOLVE!!!!=SOLVE your problems.

Awesome Hedidn’t – what a ploy to pull

“Here feel – I have blood running through my veins so I’m not a psychopath.”

WHAT A LOAD OF NONSENSE!!!! Psychopaths breathe and pump blood too – they just don;t hurt.

My ex pulled that line as well “I hurt too – I just don’t show it like you do.”

YEAH RIGHT! You don;t know what hurt is buddy! God help his next target – she has no idea what lies ahead.

Polly,
God help his next target ”“ she has no idea what lies ahead.

AMEN to that one!!!! I’v heard all the same kind of crap that everyone had posted. They stop at nothing to keep us in their “fantasy” land that I call the spider web. They wear the mask so well!

Hedidntbreakme:
Like posted above…DO NOT let hin know your dreams and what you want out of a partner! That was my mistake… I sang like a canary to him, when he asked me what i wanted, he was a friend of 12 yrs, didn’t know what he was up to!! BOY did I find out!
Soimnotthecrazee1!

one/joy_step_at_a_time

hedidn’tbreak me – i misread your line: “put your hands in my hands, i feel & I hurt too”

at first i thought you said: “put your hands in my PANTS, i feel & I hurt too”-

THAT made a lot more sense. 🙂

One step bahahahahaha! I needed that today 🙂

Put your hands in my pants !!!!!

one/joy_step_at_a_time

🙂
god love the laughing lovefraud posse!

a couple of people made me laugh here today, also. it helps.

i am so in the shit polly – the job has gone sideways in a really big way. i am holding it together and realize tonight, that i actually have the power in the situation. I CAN LEAVE. and tonight i decided that if it comes to that, i will do that. it’s not easy to find work here, but it would be impossible for them to replace me and get someone else up to speed fast enough.given that one of my biggest issues is time lines.

i still feel very unnerved, but i feel the steal in my spine, too.

One,
I see your sense of humor is coming out again tonight! I love it!!! LOLOLOLOL Where is EB with another bear story to laugh at? She would be the icing on the cake right now!! LOLOL
ntcrze

one/joy_step_at_a_time

umm, actually, that wold be the nog on the nozen, soimnotthecrazee1

One,
Ok!!! LOLOLOL

one/joy_step_at_a_time

you know, i can’t actually hear you laugh, but it makes me really happy to see your lol’s and !!!’s. 🙂

Yeppers! One!
Too bad only the walls, pets and computer hear my laughs. Thank God there aren’t any bears to hear them! I am pleased with your happiness over my laughs. That is one thing I lost with xspth, my sense of humor and my laughter. ( He is so dry personalitied you would have more of a sense of humor out of a wet brown paper bag. ) My sense is coming back… I am coming back… I just can’t wait until I wake up with a smile on my face again. Instead of telling myself to smile. I don’t know if I will ever find that old happy go lucky, laughing, smiling bubbly gal ever again. I hope so….I miss her and so much liked her! In time! Take it easy on myself!
Thanks for the laughs!
Soimnotthecrazee1!

one/joy_step_at_a_time

bloody hell – just lost another post…lots of trouble losing posts lately – when i hit the backspace key, whoosh, they are gone!

was saying that i relate, soimnotthecrazee1.
the right side of my face is in such a frown i look like i had a stroke. my dad frowns like this – all the time. and you can imagine that seeing his ugly mug in my mirror is not good for me.

my snese of humor has a decided dark side to it now. i am good with that. to laugh at all is a blessing.

my spath had a great sense of humor. i have never laughed as much in my life. that, mixed with the carnage i am left to deal with makes my sense of humor a bit of a raped landscape – i am protective of it, not willing to show it as much, and also a bit distanced from it as it is vulnerable – it got hurt.

i miss me too. don’t like myself much right now, even though i know i have lots of likable qualities i feel like a pyriah somehow.

i know i do love myself, but abadonment is also in my lexicon of love. hard to access compassion for myself, when my heart feels so walled off most of the time. but i am making some progress.

going to hit send now..before i lose this one, too.

One,
That darned backspace key! Mine does the same!
I relate to your raped landscape theory. That is exactly how I feel!
I love myself too. I remember defending myself to the ex and saying… I like me, I like my head and my heart! That, I guess is when my self preservation kicked in! That’s when the violence started, because I was fighting to save myself.
They have a way of making us feel like a pyriah and it sucks! We are NOT! Keep working on it and yourself! We will heal!
Soimnotthecrazee1!

one/joy_step_at_a_time

good nite soimnotthecrazee1.

One,
Did I say goodnight? or did you?
ntcrze1

one/joy_step_at_a_time

me. 🙂

just faded out real fast…..zzzzzz

nite nite…

Night Night One! Sweet dreams!

My SIL {yea, theyr still not divorced after 5 years, LOL!}rang me 2 nights ago. {he has fullcustody of 3 kids now, thankfully.}
My spath D was “minding” her own kids in his house, while he was away with his girlfriend, to see her being presented with a prestigious award for Journalism.
He got home,and he said the house was in a helluva state, shed had a party in his absence, the place was filthy, brokenglass, full ashtrays,mess and mayhem. he said he shouted nd screamed at her. She had put out the garbage, but NOT in the bin, so the cat tore into it, and scattered it.I said,}”Oh, sound familiar, shes wrecked 3 of my homes in the past,” but at the time she was 16 to 20, shs now 46! HELLO! can we say, immature?He wouldnt let her leave till shed totally cleaned everything up.God knows how the kids fared.
Im sure the kids are starting to see her in her true colours. They never learn, and never change!!They are no respecters of persons. if she did it to me, shed do it to her ex hubby.
only dif is I now dont give a shit. mama gem.,

Gem –
Good. You really can’t afford to give an “anything”. What a sad waste of your mothering over the years. x

hedidntbreakme –
PHEW!! GOOD girl. xx (Had us worried there just for a wee bit)

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