Editor’s note: Be sure to read both articles that Ox Drover links to.
By Ox Drover
I ran across two articles in NY Times that sort of got me to thinking about how it sometimes does pay off to act like a psychopath—in business or other ways.
The following (quite long) article tells how an Internet seller terrorized his customer. I think that many people who have been the victims of psychopathic-like stalking can relate to this woman’s story. The fact that it was over such a relatively small amount of money is amazing to me, though. The lengths to which this stalker pursued his victim are also amazing to me.
Read A bully finds a pulpit on the web on NewYorkTimes.com.
This follow up article tells how, eventually, through the persistence of the victim in pursuing justice for the bullying psychopathic-like stalking she got from the abuser, it turned out that the man didn’t get away with his campaign, and now local, state and federal authorities are getting on the band wagon to go after this guy.
Read U.S. arrests online seller who scared customers on NewYorkTimes.com.
The guy even got denied bail. Yea for that judge “getting it.” It will be interesting to me to see how this plays out and just how much real jail/prison time this guy actually gets. While I can’t diagnose someone out of the newspaper, I really do feel that this man fits the criteria for many of the traits of a psychopath and he definitely is a stalker.
Oh Skylar
That is priceless! You made him weeble! (weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.)
That would work ONE time with my husband. He’d be speechless too, but would come back as if the words were never said.
But your insight, that he was doing exactly what I thought, agreeing with me and then changing the meaning of “what WE agreed” was a typical mindfark of my husband. He NEVER said “us” or “we” unless he needed ME to agree with his demand.
I came to this conclusion one day and then talked myself out of it by being logical, that there was no REASON to do this to someone.
You just validated my perception. He DID it, and the reason was for control.
Thank you. Priceless!
skylar my X would say things like ” you always have to get the last word in ‘ . Funny thing about that was, I never got the last word in ever . I usually just ended up walking away cause I couldn’t think of anything else to say . I notice in your post that you said he was neither straight or gay . I have mentioned this fuzzy sexual orientation thing a few times but have gotten few responses to it on lovefraud . When i first met my X I thought she was the greatest thing on the planet . For a whole year we dated and I thought I was in sexual heaven . As soon as we started living together the sex was gone within 2 months . I tried talking to her about it a number of times but could never get a straight answer out of her . I actually lived with her for 6 months but finally gave up trying to understand what was going on as I new she was going to destroy me . During that 18 months I never new what a psychopath was . It was only in the last couple of weeks that I by chance discovered lovefraud.com and realised what I was dealing with . I suppose what amazes me most was that she managed to turn my whole world upside down in just 18 months . How some people survive for years or even decades with a psychopath I will never know . It has been 3 years since we split and I think I can now see everything fairly clearly and talk about it in a relatively constructive way . My favourite TV program right now is” the living dead” lol .
Ox Drover
You are right about the being single thing . Sometimes its quite enlightening when I see so many relationships that I would not wish for at any price . And you are right about not worrying about it . If it shows up it does , if it doesn’t life goes on .
Quest – interesting. Like you I did not know he was a spath til I came on this site. And yes I thought he was the greatest lover on the plant (doh!)
Sex and the spath…….scenario……night, dark, sex (only the one time each night), no passion (kisses/cuddles) no sounds (moans/groans) just the ‘act’ roll over, go to sleep. As the year went on sex became less and less often to the point where I think if he never did it again (with me) he would not have cared less!
Guess it’s all in the chase……once the ‘prize’ is won, game over.
Quest,
I think we have often discussed on this site that they will have sex with anything animal, vegetable or mineral if they think they will gain power by doing so. That is all that sex is for them. That’s why they are so good at sex – at first. When they feel they’ve got you under control. They begin to withhold sex. Thank God. It probably saved me from so many STD’s. For the last 15 years we probably had sex once.
With my exP, I thought he was straight, but later came to realize that he had used sex to control several men, and that he lived various other lives that I was not aware of which included sex with women and men, but his favorite was children.
my X one time told me when she was a little drunk ” First time sex is best ” . At the time I was somewhat stunned . The next day when I questioned her about it she denied saying it
I’d rather be 65 and alone than 65 and wishing I were alone.
Wise words from an older friend. AMEN and AMEN.
After my husband died, I was so “alone”—-and just so needy and vulnerable….feelling that “WOE IS ME!!! I’ll be alone for the rest of my life….woe is me!” So along comes the Psychopath to “rescue” me from–gasp!!!!! ALONENESS!
Boy did I fall for that shiat! Was wonderful, I was on cloud 9!!!! For a little while.
It has taken 6 1/2 years since his death and 5 yrs since I kicked the P-BF to the curb for me to get to where I am today about being by myself. I am just fine by myself…have been for a while. Just realized that I had a pretty good list of things that would be NON-NEGOTIABLE as far as a new partner was concerned. Like Matt’s “tions”—education, transportation, habitation, vocation.
There’s no line outside my door wanting a date, but that’s okay too…actually I have some great male friends (some married and some not) but there isn’t a single guy I know That I’d want as a mate gift-wrapped, on a platter, baked with an apple in his mouth! LOL They are all either too young, too old, married already, married but I wouldn’t want them as a mate even if they were not married. There are advantages to being single, too, so I look at those things as a plus! If roommate son D moves out I’ll probably get me another room mate, just because I like having someone to share a house with, or I’ll move into the RV full time but just don’t want a “relationshit” at any price.
Just got another call……this time from spaths ‘friend’ in the tropics….where spath IS currently.
Somethings up and I think he wants to confirm if I am home or not.
It’s snowing hard, the start of 10 days of another 3-8 feet of snow…..
funny thing is…..a kid (we) know is out front walking around…..BUT….he never knocked on our door. Kid knows we live here, kid also knows spath etc…..
Even funnier thing is……he’s now getting towed out of a snowbank!!!!
Hmmmm why didn’t this kid needing help, knowing jr has a truck that could have pulled him out easily NOT knock on our door?
This kid works with Jr……he’s also a friend of spaths on FB.
I think this may be something…..
He may have sent kid this way, in the daytime, hoping I was at work out of the house……he knows where the other jr’s are….and he also knows the storm is a hitting and if he doesn’t dig now……he’ll have to wait till spring?
Just in case, I popped my cheery head out the front door as the tow truck pulled him out and said….HI JOHNNY, do ya need some help?
Just to let him know he didn’t go unnoticed……If he is a dupe…..
Just saying……
Dear EB,
Interesting isn’t it? Funny thing is we “see” connections everywhere, and sometimes we are right, and sometimes we are seeing a psychopath behind every bush!
It IS ODD that someone who knew your Junior wouldn’t knock on the door and say “hey, Ms. Brock, My car got stuck could Junior pull me out?” or even “Hey, my car got stuck, but I have tow insurance so could I wait inside where it is warm for the tow truck?” or something along those lines.
BUT it is also possible that spathole sent him to check out things—like having TWO calls AND having the kid out there wouldn’t arouse your suspicions. LOL Being real “SUB-TIL” here aren’t we?
I also know it is possible that there is something buried in your yard that your X-P wants or needs. Or stashed in your attic or somewhere on the property and he sent the kid to retrieve it.
I wouldn’t automatically think it was buried in the yard, it might be in the attic or under the house in the crawl space if you have one instead of a slab, or stashed behind a wall board or floor board. When we built my son’s house we built in a “secret” storage cabinet in a closet, what appears to be the side wall of the closet has a spring release and there is a space behind there for stashing stuff, and unless you knew where it was and how to release it, a robber would never guess it was there. Not fire proof but sneak thief proof as they wouldn’t find it. I got the idea from a house I owned once that had a secret cabinet like that. My cousin built one into his home too when he remodeled.