Editor’s note: Be sure to read both articles that Ox Drover links to.
By Ox Drover
I ran across two articles in NY Times that sort of got me to thinking about how it sometimes does pay off to act like a psychopath—in business or other ways.
The following (quite long) article tells how an Internet seller terrorized his customer. I think that many people who have been the victims of psychopathic-like stalking can relate to this woman’s story. The fact that it was over such a relatively small amount of money is amazing to me, though. The lengths to which this stalker pursued his victim are also amazing to me.
Read A bully finds a pulpit on the web on NewYorkTimes.com.
This follow up article tells how, eventually, through the persistence of the victim in pursuing justice for the bullying psychopathic-like stalking she got from the abuser, it turned out that the man didn’t get away with his campaign, and now local, state and federal authorities are getting on the band wagon to go after this guy.
Read U.S. arrests online seller who scared customers on NewYorkTimes.com.
The guy even got denied bail. Yea for that judge “getting it.” It will be interesting to me to see how this plays out and just how much real jail/prison time this guy actually gets. While I can’t diagnose someone out of the newspaper, I really do feel that this man fits the criteria for many of the traits of a psychopath and he definitely is a stalker.
Or perhaps you’re so disoriented, so off balance, that you simply feel that your mind just won’t do ( SHUT DOWN ). Your mind can’t process this so, perhaps your thinking is faulty, the suggestion being that, your brain can’t process things, comes down to : there’s something wrong with you, and thus you must not rely on your own logic, since obviously it can’t grasp the word salad being bludgeoned at you. ( this is just a dirty/quick processing of all of this. ) And i would also surmise that all of this is unconscious as well. I don’t know why that resonated with me so much… about your friend saying O as in Umbrella instigating a mental shut down. I think you’re onto something. Your reality as you know it is being warped. You did not see what you did see. You did not know what you did know. Your understanding is not your understanding. This is why the FOG thus ensues. Great, great insight. Lol i’m so over the place. But thanks.
Quest – would you want to expand on this a bit, and send it to Donna as an article? I think you have really hit on something that is important, and I would like to see it reach more people on lovefraud.
I have often heard that our brains have a function that shuts down our cognitive ability to compute if they are overwhelmed; this if often used to describe why adults sometimes have no memory of abuse as children.
But recognizing it as an adult dupe/ vic of a s/p/n and as a person with PTSD in the aftermath has important implications for our understanding of what happened/ happens to us.
i have developed multiple chemical sensitivities during the time of the spath. I also had many exposures to chemicals during that time, and precedent had been set with my body’s ability to cope from exposures in the months before the spath. I have some very specific reactions to different chemicals now – i know it’s bad if my skin instantly flushes and burns, my face goes numb, the inside of my nose goes numb, i completely lose focus, i lose any clarity of thought, i want to vomit….i’ll spare you the rest ’cause the details are not the point. The point is: the other day someone put big pressure on me in a most coercive way when i was already under a lot of pressure, and i had close to a full blown response of the kind i have to chemicals. The only difference was that i could get my thinking back on track once i settled down – with chemicals this is not the case.
So, I’d say: our brain responds to lies and gas-lighting as noxious organic compounds!(which i think merits some discussion from a energetic and spiritual perspectives) Or rather, lies bring on a huge stress response in our bodies, and our brains/ spirits KNOW THEM WHEN THEY HEAR THEM!
How true the above posts are.
Brain gets fried, can’t think.
Since he’s been out of my life my brain is switched on again.
He used to have the tv on all the time (input) and I had no peace, no time to think. It’s hard to explain but it was like he did not want me to have space to think cos if I had I would have figured him out.
He was filling my mind with such rubbish and I was trying to figure out what he was up to all the time……..left no room for me to think.
Now I’m back to doing the things I want to do, think, plan, action. Don’t have to worry about what he would think/say.
How did it get to that point? Like everyone on here I thought he loved me. What he actually wanted was my lifestyle, friends, money, place to stay (for free) etc
Their rubbish chatter and lies fills our heads and the fog creeps in gradually.
Today I have been up town with my daughter, had a brill time doing girlie things. Not accountable to anyone but myself.
ps I posted something on here about domestic violence to someone but couldn’t find the site again! So if you are there I hope things are going ok and that you are safe x
This is REALLY interesting.
Now I know why they begin relationshits by lying and lying and lying.
I used to think it was a test to see how much shit you’ll put up with but now I realize, it’s just to scramble our brains. The Lie is the key.
That’s why they’re called the people of the lie.
Thanks so much quest. You’ve opened a lot of eyes this morning.
sky – how conscious are they of what they do ”“ do they consciously know they are scrambling brains? Are they just testing how much they can get away with? Is the former just the pathway to the latter?
Maybe it’s just that they pay attention to cause and effect; they know what works for them/ on people and they use it. I think they really LIKE to lie, it feels good to them ”“ so are they not just trying to do what they like?
In my case, I think that she gauged how much i would put up with in the beginning and then fine tuned the character to best exploit my areas of vulnerability. My very first conversation with ‘him’, he was inappropriate – and goofball over here, so stupid in her compassion, let it slide.
I think the scrambling started later ”“ once I was hooked through the drama, care and fear for ’him’. There was a huge override of my usual thought processes through drama, manipulation and tauma ”“ the betrayal bond.
There is a question about dissonance that is coming up for me as i write this ”“ why do some people (I am one) have such a hard time reconciling BS and truth? In part, because of what quest has noted, but I think there is something else”
I haven’t been as clear as I had hoped in this post. I have ended up with more questions than answers”I need to process more.
My spath used to say ‘it’s only a lie if you get found out’
Is that so?
In my book a lie is a lie is a lie.
There has been a lot of references to hens on here.
How about this it’s a story from one of the books I read as a child…..
The hen (us) is on her perch in the hen house and Mr Fox (spath) runs round and round underneath her perch until she gets dizzy and falls off (sounding familiar?)
Great thinking and logic and insight guys, I think there is a name for it but I forget! LOL CRS CARP!!!!! That makes me mad when I can’t remember, I guess it is because I am a year older today! LOL
First, welcome Candy! I like the “it is only a lie of you get found out” that was very creative of him!!!! He gets A for effort on that one.
Yes, I remember the story of Mr. Fox going under the p erch and making Mrs. Hen fall off. There are many of Grimm’s stories that are the LOVEFRAUD analogies.
re grimm’s tales – they exist because of the breadth of people who walk the earth…we always need stories, be it the bible or grimm’s, to process, qualify, integrate and understand our and others place in the world.
if evil did not exist, we would not have needed the bible.
ox and candy,
i have read that here many times, ‘ it’s only a lie if i get caught’. ….and sometimes not even then!
oxy – i know you can’t watch this, but you might want to check it out candy – spath exposed and the lies continue:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmPDGZPnYl0
Happy birthday for yesterday Ox. Still 18 on the inside!
Yep, he was creative alright!
I just clicked on msn (he can’t see me cos he’s blocked but I can see him) and he’s there checking out his next victim whilst living with another woman!
How I wish I could warn them – however, if I did he would probably make his way back here (nowhere else to go) so I’m afraid I will take the (not so) easy option and do nothing to put myself in danger.
One Step – checked out the video – funny how they go quiet when they’re rumbled.