Editor’s note: Be sure to read both articles that Ox Drover links to.
By Ox Drover
I ran across two articles in NY Times that sort of got me to thinking about how it sometimes does pay off to act like a psychopath—in business or other ways.
The following (quite long) article tells how an Internet seller terrorized his customer. I think that many people who have been the victims of psychopathic-like stalking can relate to this woman’s story. The fact that it was over such a relatively small amount of money is amazing to me, though. The lengths to which this stalker pursued his victim are also amazing to me.
Read A bully finds a pulpit on the web on NewYorkTimes.com.
This follow up article tells how, eventually, through the persistence of the victim in pursuing justice for the bullying psychopathic-like stalking she got from the abuser, it turned out that the man didn’t get away with his campaign, and now local, state and federal authorities are getting on the band wagon to go after this guy.
Read U.S. arrests online seller who scared customers on NewYorkTimes.com.
The guy even got denied bail. Yea for that judge “getting it.” It will be interesting to me to see how this plays out and just how much real jail/prison time this guy actually gets. While I can’t diagnose someone out of the newspaper, I really do feel that this man fits the criteria for many of the traits of a psychopath and he definitely is a stalker.
quest,
not rambling. so true.
the need to sleep, the chronic fatigue, so familiar.
The immune function shut down, I have seen it in me and I know many spath survivors are also cancer survirors.
Don’t know if you are religious, but trust in God may help you.
My aunt was very religious but she still died of lymphoma from my spath uncle’s torment of her. (my dad’s brother) She had a lot of pride and it got wounded very badly from all his cheating affairs that were thrown in her face, there was no fix for her. She wanted to die and she committed suicide with lymphoma. It is really obvious to those who knew her. Ditch the pride and bitterness, go for humility, knowledge and wisdom, it’s so much better!
Quest!
Yes oh Kindred Spirit!
I am speaking to the screen as I read your words. YOU, NOT my husband, knows my mind!
REwriting history. YES. Was done so much that I started writing down exact conversations b/c I thought I was losing it. So I’d think we had an agreement about something only to find out he rewrote the conversation and something else was decided. Weird thing was, sometimes I didn’t CARE what the decision was, I just wanted to be able to know what I could count on NEXT.
There was also a lot of backpeddling (or was that Do-overs? Like if they got it wrong the first time, they get a do-over until the outcome is what they like?
If my husband went too far and revealed his inner ugliness which might tarnish his image, he’d backpeddle into perfect time travel. So things that were said or done… might be re-presented and I’d be ridiculed for being upset at conversations that “never happened you crazy woman.”
(IMAGE was everything to him, not b/c he needed admiration, although he did like being admired. But his image was a barometer that measured how gullible others were to allow him to use them.)
I do think I had temporary dementia, like in unable to discern reality. It came from reality being re-framed so often that I’d yell at him “the sky is BLUE” and “I exist!”. (even thought it rained there a lot and the sky was mostly gray! But at least I knew what sky was SUPPOSED to be!!)
skylar , I’m afraid God just won’t do it for me , in fact I think god was invented by a psychopath . My x was from a religous family . I have sat in church too many times listening to psychopathic pastors preach nonsensical rubbish . If theres a God why all the senseless death and distruction in the name of religion . God is just another conspiracy like the banking system , the political system and many others . With all the money that Obama bailed out the banks with, he could have paid off every residential mortgage in the USA and the banks would have still got the money .The only difference would have been that there would not be any mortgage defaults .Property values are still dropping . As long as people have no equity to borrow against , the economy in the US will not recover . Obama talks well but he does not do well .
Back to the ps . My Xs first husband got bone cancer at the age of 30 , but survived . He is now in his 40s and happily married as far as I could figure . Incidently me and him had some pretty interesting conversations after me and the X split,
Same crap different day .
And Katydid your discriptions fit mine to a T . How is it that psychopaths appear to be so much the same . Is there so little in their heads that all thats left is the bad stuff or at least the stuff that turns bad because there is no direction or no something at least .
Hi Quest. Being with the disordered brings on a dark night of the soul very often it seems. I had no religion at all before it happened to me (brought up atheist) and I’ve been in and out of several states of belief during the course of healing and have actually ended up with a completely new faith! One that I would never have considered previously as being for me, but it helps no end. Reading all sorts of spiritual books and websites out of desperation and when suicidal, gleaning bits from all of them, led to me somewhere that feels like home, even though it’s not of my culture (I’m in the UK).
It’s not for everyone, but I was untethered, anchorless, and I needed something spiritual to hold onto. In the book ‘The Emotional Rape Syndrome’, the author states Health, Achievement, Love and Faith as being the things we need to put back into our lives to heal. It can be faith in anything, if you’re not religiously inclined: Nature … animals … friends … anything which grounds us and makes us feel positive and strong and gives us that connection to life.
I’m afraid I’m sounding preachy but it worked for me.
Quest, our physiology is connected to our mentel, emotional well being, and yes, they do make us sick. The stress associated with trying to cope lowers our resistance to every kind of virus or bacteria that comes along.
Feeling exhausted and tired all the time is normal, under the circumstances, (it will pass) and Yes, your unconscience mind is working over-time to fill you in on all the stuff you’ve been denying or just missing….alot of stuff in the wtf? bucket is being moved to the ah hah bucket, and its not always comfortable, but it’s good….all part of the process.
I too have some mis-givings about religion, but I know I’d be bitter and unhappy if I didn’t hold onto some faith in a power greater than myself, so I continue to seek and try to connect with it.
I’m glad you’re here, and hope you will continue to share. Good luck.
Good Morning Kim,
We meet again! Can you help me? I was trying to explain to a GF last night the definition of Gaslighting and I can’t find the words….. I know I have been subject to it BUT I can’t find the words to explain it!
Thanks!
Soimnothecrazee1!!!!
Gaslighting comes from the famous Alfred Hitchcock movie in which a psycho husband tries to drive his wife crazy by making her doubt her own perceptions. I don’t really remember specifically what he does, but it has to do with the lighting in the house.
So, gaslighting is what they do when they mind f— us, tell us we did something we didn’t do, or said something we didn’t say…or deny doing or saying something we KNOW they did…basically crazy-making behavior that makes you doubt yourself. Hope that helps.
Thank you so much Kim! That is a perfect explanation!!!! What is the title of the movie? I want to get it and watch it!!! I am going to copy and paste your reply and email it to her. YES>>>YES>>>> perfect words!!!
Thanks!
soimnotthecrazee1!
DUH!!! Blonde kicking in here!! Movie title:? Gaslighting?! LOLOL
You are very welcome.
The words to a Phill Collins song jumped to mind and I’ve been trying to remember the name of it and can’t. something like:
your telling me I’m wrong when I know that I’m right
Saying it’s black when I know that it’s white,
living with you is putting me through it all of the time.
Does anybody remember? I would like to post a link if I can remember the name.