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Kidnapping case exposes need for society to learn about psychopaths

Reigh Storrow Mills Boss, the 7-year-old girl allegedly kidnapped by her father, Clark Rockefeller, has been safely reunited with her mother, Sandra Boss.

Last Thursday, I received a phone call from an ABC News reporter who wanted information about women who marry con men. At that point, I knew nothing about the case. The girl’s mother had just released a video appeal to the father of the child, pleading for her safe return. But I did know about marrying a con man. After speaking to the reporter for about 30 minutes, I put her in touch with Dr. Liane Leedom and two Lovefraud readers who were willing to be interviewed.

Here’s the story: How do smart women get taken by con men?

The story was mostly accurate. But one sentence exemplified the people’s confusion about con artists, sociopaths, psychopaths. The reporter wrote: “Leedom believes con artists seek out people who will be ‘good’ victims, just like a psychopath may seek out someone to kill.”

Con artists are psychopaths. And not all psychopaths are killers.

Blaming the victim

In her article about this case on Friday, Dr. Leedom drew attention to a Boston Herald columnist, Peter Gelzinis, who wrote a piece highly critical of Sandra Boss. He wrote that the con man, Clark Rockefeller, “managed to stay married to a brilliant Stanford/Harvard Business School world beater for about a dozen years before she apparently figured out her husband had no Social Security number, no valid driver’s license and no visible means of support.”

Readers posted comments in reaction to the story. Here are some of them:

She’s not missing!!!!! She’s with her father!

I agree that Ms. Boss has a lot of explaining to do. Fourteen years is a long time to remain in the dark about one’s spouse, assuming a person has two brain cells to rub together. And I think it’s pretty outrageous that she accepted a higher-paying position in England, when she knew it would damage Rockefeller’s rights to visit their child.

More support for con artist

With this, I started looking around the web for more blog comments. Here are some on the Topix web site, based on a Chicago Tribune article:

Massachusetts is notorious for taking parental rights from fathers and financially ruining them. Why wasn’t the mother prosecuted for abducting the child to England. God forbid the lunatics in the media question her…..

I think it is very important that a child has the right to a relationship with both parents therefore in Idaho where I live joint custody is the law of the land unless extreme abuse against the child can be proved, the social worker injured herself by running after and grabbing onto that car, that is ridiculous, she was never attacked, I don’t blame the Father for absconding with his child if he was required to only have supervised visits and yet the Mother was globe trotting with his child.

I do not agree that abuse against a woman or the Mother is good reason to require supervised visits because sometimes the woman starts the abuse, I have seen my sister in action and she beat the living crap out of her ex husband simply because he didn’t give her his paycheck!

Here are comments on a story published by CBS News, in which Reigh Boss’ former babysitter called Clark Rockefeller a “great father”:

The system is set up to cater to women, period. I hope this guy has a great life with his daughter.The only thing the money hungry bitch is worried about is $$$$$.

I still see that the mother is an instigator. I hope as a woman, that I would never take my child away from the man I had him/her with. No matter how much I hated him. My sister HATES her ex-husband but allows him to see his children all the time…you know why? Cause they love daddy too, it’s not just about mommy…when you do what this “shrew” did….THATS WHAT screws up a child. And now I am contradicting myself because the father has now done that. BUT SHE STARTED IT.

Learning needed

There are, of course, plenty of blog comments that supported the mother and criticized the con artist father. But I was looking for the comments that indicate how little people understand about con men, psychopaths and child custody.

Con artists are psychopaths, also called sociopaths. Here’s what we all, as a society, need to learn about them:

  • Psychopaths can be either men or women.
  • Anyone can be conned by a psychopath.
  • Psychopaths make terrible parents.
  • Psychopaths do not love their children. They use the children for their own purposes, and damage the kids in the process.
  • Children should be protected from psychopathic parents.
  • The issue is not whether the father or mother should get custody. The issue is that the healthy parent should get custody.

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52 Comments on "Kidnapping case exposes need for society to learn about psychopaths"

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how terribly yet further enlightening…i followed most of the threads…..we have quite a road ahead of us….just reaffirms why so many of us find comfort here

The task of trying to make people “get it” seems daunting. The comments are upsetting and I think many of them represent the vast majority out there of opinions on abused women.

Maybe we should write a book called,

Would you know abuse if you saw it? Are you sure?

Some Definations of “con”

To swindle (a victim) by first winning his or her confidence; dupe.

”“adjective 1. involving abuse of confidence: a con trick.

”“verb (used with object) 2. to swindle; trick: That crook conned me out of all my savings.

3. to persuade by deception, cajolery, etc.

”“noun 4. a confidence game or swindle.

5. a lie, exaggeration, or glib self-serving talk

LoveFraud could also be called LoveCon. People don’t get what it is to be conned.

Also, I keep seeing the comments that Donald Trump has made about Anne Hathaway. What an idiot… and how sad for her. He is making her out to be some kind of money grubbing gold digger when I am sure she has plenty of her OWN money. He is such an idiot!

Dear Donna,

Word IS filtering out SLOWLY, and TOO slowly for my “money.” Another group that can “qualify” as psychopaths are CHILD SEXUAL PREDATORS–yet they are not as a group listed as psychopaths, but quite frankly, how could a child molester NOT BE A PSYCHOPATH?

The sheer numbers of these people (mostly but not entirely men) if added to the “numbers” of people computed to be psychopaths alone would double or triple the percentage of psychopahts in our society.

Those “pro father kidnapping child” articles make me want to scream! I believe in BALANCED journalism, but Jimmeny Cricket, that is unbelievable.

As for downing the woman who was married to this creep, the guy showed that he knows NOTHING and should not be allowed to print a word for the public to read!

While I am sure that Ms. Boss is quite bright, there are lots of BRIGHT women that are screwed over as bad or worse than she was and for longer periods of time. Aloha’s writing the definitions of “con” are so right on, maybe some of these “journalists” should be sent a dictionary!

I really hope this case makes the major news media though and that SOMEONE calls him a psychopath. Maybe he will go to a big public media trial as well as a legal one. Every one of these guys who is “outed” in the media gives us (the public) a chance to get to see another one of the “super Ps” in action, but also maybe there will be some professionals that will speak out about this and other such cases and try to get the public to see that it isn’t JUST THE SUPER PS that are dangerous but the neighbor who beats his wife, the swindler at the bank, or the used car dealer or the attorney or the physician or the clerk at the store. All of these people are dangerous, but only a few are serial killers or “upscale” con men, like the Governor of NY or the ENRON CEOs, or our last X-president (that’s my opinion–not the opinion of LF or other bloggers) The current Senator from Alaska who is being charged with taking bribes AND NOT REPORTING THEM—LOL

Our society is rife with these predators–large and small–in every level of society. But the more publicity that comes out, I think the better–as long as it is even half way accurate.

It will be interesting for “Rockefeller’s” real history and life story to come out—I imagine there will be a book out before long, and who knows, maybe a movie! Popcorn anyone?

the other sad part about all this is that many people read these articles for entertainment and just briefly touch on the depth of the story….this prevents them from really feeling the pain that these creeps cause…..and many looking for a cause, any cause, will believe the idiot author…after all, she is with her father……..what about the poor pediatrician who lost her kids….they after all were with their father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think too, that with such a media blitz as we hav ewith so much “news” and “entertainment” available to everyone, it is like these things aren’t “real.” I don’t normall watch broadcast tV and I don’t have cable but with the election coming up I have been watching a bit lately and in flipping channels I have seen some of the media hype about varous “stars” (I don’t even know who these people are) and their dysfunctional and narcissistic life styles, their child abuses for their children, their drinking and drugging lifestyles and it is like when they get picked up and arrested for various things with drugs, DUI and so on, or endangering their children it is just more “entertainment” and no one looks “seriously” at this terrible behavior. And we wonder why some of our youth don’t have a moral compass? Youth who have these “stars” held up to them as role models? Sheesh! I am more than ever glad that I “deprived” my children of television completely from ages 7 to 14.

I did watch an episode of “America’s most wanted” with Walsh which had “Rockefeller” and the kidnapping on it. HE seems to get it that these people are psychopaths though he doesn’t call them by that name usually. But, then, after losing a child to a kidnapper, I would imagine he WOULD get it. I still hope that the judge that let Dr. Amy’s kids go for unsupervisied visits with their psychopathic father that killed them gets disbarred and thrown off the bench. His name should be posted on a web site in a “hall of shame” for judges.

Maybe one of us can do such a thing, put up a web site for “hall of shame” for judges who let these criminals and psychopaths get away with murder. As long as we didn’t “defame” them just printed the TRUTH and named the judges themselves and cited the cases it wouldn’t be illegal.

How about it donna? You up for that?

It’s such a hard thing to judge, without knowing the individual case. On the one hand you have abusive fathers or mothers lying about their exes in an effort to keep the kids from them.

Then on the other hand you have innocent parents trying to do the right thing and keep their kids away from the sicko who might ruin their lives.

It makes me agree with good old Dr. Laura: Just because you are dating a guy doesn’t make him worth marrying, and just because you marry him doesn’t make him worthy of having a child with you.

Right now this makes me think of inthebreach, who is up against the lions in her own custody battle.

Comes back to what we have all been taught, “There are two sides to every story”, except that ALWAYS gives the benefit to the one who is LYING.

The media loves a good he said she said, good bad story, and there are WAY too many socio’s out there to defend each other.

My guy had really sympathetic points of view about Michael Miliken and Carl Ickard – old timey big time swindlers on Wall Street. But in a good way. ( I kid)

It has been some time since I have chosen to live without the invasion of the mainstream media, so I am not familiar with the nuances projected to us, BUT, for those of us with some awareness of the SPN’s whaddya say?

Was it the SUPPLY – the 15 mins. the attention?

Was it the REVENGE- the I will destroy you?

Was it the PITY PLAY- Poor me I am married to a first class b-tch?

Or was it “when this is over I am going to write a book and star in a reality TV show?

Most of the people screaming about defending these folks are likely either A) Really good targets, or B) SNP’s

So she went to a big school and she is smart and successful. Does not mean she could see through the mask.

For the record, my first husband kidnapped my daughter when she was two, and kept her for 4 months, without a sign of life. She is now 37 and struggling to heal from a 12 year two children relationship with a classic P. Charming as all hell, an ARTIST.

P’s run in families and so do victims. That is the stuff we need to educate on, IMHO.
Peace to all.
P.S Sorry if I sound angry and bitter, I know that LIFE is actually GOOD.

DEar Eyeswideshut,

your above post is very thought provoking and your mention of the “there are two sides to every story” reminds me that we were taught that in school, and it was it seemed to me to mean that there are TWO VALID sides to every story, but you know, I have found that that is NOT THE TRUTH. There may be two sides, but it DOES NOT mean that there is ANY validity to one of them.

They also taught us that “it takes two to fight”—which is entirely WRONG., it only takes ONE to beat the crap out of you. Every “fight” does NOT mean that both parties are at fault. Yet that was what they taught us in grade school.

EWS, please don’t apologize for sounding “angry or bitter” (you didn’t sound that way by the way) I can’t even imagine how you must have suffered while your child was gone, and how you have suffered since, seeing her involved in a long term relationship with a P. My son just got out of a 7-8 year one, and thank goodness there were no children from it.

I am glad though, that both our adult children are on the road to healing from the P-experiences. (((hugs))) to you and your daughter and your grandchildren as well.

ps..I have very limited access (by choice) to the mainstream media, and every once in a while I do turn on the broadcast TV (and I do watch DVD movies and read the NYTimes on line) but it doesn’t take but a show or two for me to turn it back off again. LOL When my kids were 7 our TV broke, and I kept telling them we “couldn’t afford to get it fixed” and I did that for 7 years. (they would accept a financial reason but would have rebelled if I had said “I don’t want you to watch it, go out and play”) so my kids learned to play, make toys, roam the woods and build forts, ride their horses, care for pets, garden, learned to hunt and fish and camp and GASP—READ!!!

newworldview,

You are absolutely right. When they tell a story like this on TV.. they tell all of the bits like.. he was married to two women, he stole some money… blah blah… but they never really tell the real story.

The real story is what we talk about here… the fall out of being betrayed in this way and how hard it is to heal from it.

But how would they put that in words?

Victims of abusive/exploitive relationships have already been cast in a role that makes it hard to feel for them… they have been cast as stupid, weak, “should have known”. These are roles that don’t allow for people to relate to them and therefore try to understand or empathize. If you see a person in a movie get hurt really bad by doing something that is stupid, you don’t feel for them as much because you don’t identify with them.

People see themselves as separate and/or above us. They can not identify with us because who would want to relate to or feel for someone that they think is stupid, weak, and should have known?

These explanations also help people to believe it couldn’t happen to them because of course, they think they would know, are not weak, and not stupid.

It’s an imaginary safety net.

Dear Aloha,

As usualy, you cut to the chase “imaginary safety net”—I guess we all think we have one to some extent or another–otherwise the world would be a really scary place.

I know that I had one of those imaginary nets, knitted from my own arrogance.

hi, i have been reading some of your blog and i think it would be great if you visit our community and introduce your blog and your interest of pychopathic fraudsters. http://psychologyforum.us i am sure our members would be interested in discussing these issues

http://psychologyforum.us

Oxy et al,

There is an excellent article on a site “THE TRUTH ABOUT DECPTION” that lays out how damaging that dogma about “two sides to every story” is to the truthteller, which all of us on the recieving end of a P are all to familiar with.

Thanks for your kind words Oxy,also I couldn’t agree more about the TV and kids, and Aloha, “imaginary safety net” is brilliant.We tell ourselves we “know” the qualities in someone, when in fact we have no way to sepearate out the people who FAKE integrity decency etc.

I know as I continue to process what the heck happened of my 27 yrs with my P ex husband, I am slowly remembering all the ways I INVESTED qualities in him that I longed for.

I wrote him a beautiful poem about why I loved him during our honeymoon phase, and now remember that he had a very blank response to my tender words of appreciation for the qualities I described him to possess.

Well WHAM, it hit me the other day, all this was foreign to him, and completley of my own fabrication. A fantasy. No wonder he had such a shallow response. I managed to mistake that for “modesty” at the time. Strong silent type, macho. Can’t talk about feelings etc. It is only in the last 24 months that I have been on a path of truly accepting that he HAS NO FEELINGS.

He actually said that to me a number of years ago, and I spluttered and gasped and protested that it could not be so – naive as I was about PSN’s…

Have any of you seen the film “The Corporation”? It is excellent and lays out the behavior of corporations and demonstrates that if they were people they would be P’s. Most interesting as by law Corporations have the “rights” of people in the US.

Maybe the Lovefraud folks could put together a documentary one day to help educate about the harm these P’s do, and their many clever disguises.

But alas, we get “too soon old and too late smart”, and so many have sufered needlessly from not being aware of how P’s operate.

Hugs to all

ellion,

I looked at your site and it seems very interesting, thanks for the link. I book marked it and will go back in some depth later when I have more time.

I hope you read the essays here, they are of course focused on psychopaths and healing from the devestation heaped on victims by these predators, but the knowledge of these predators is the only way they can be spotted from “real people” in order for potential victims to protect themselves.

Oxy and Aloha.. imaginary safety net for sure. Well that’s gone now. I seem to have developed a permanent policy of automatically disbelieving anything anyone says online, unless it is in a serious discussion like the ones we have hear. I am now tone deaf to the sounds of flirting, shmoozing and flattery lol.. Thank you guys for making me less of a victim. I know I will never get taken for a ride like this again. As they say: Experience is a hard teacher.

Dear Kat,

WE didn’t make you less of a victim—YOU DID THAT YOURSELF!!! All we did was to cheer you on! Let you know that you are not alone in this journey for healing! You are taking back YOUR POWER and gaining in YOUR STRENGTH each day! That’s what this is all about. (((hugs)))))

Hey Oxy thanks, you’re awesome. However, I was saying “thanks” to the S’s in my life, because now after all these years I think I am finally getting the “no victim” mentality down (I hope). However that was a somewhat sarcastic thank you; my gratitude to you guys on this site is wholehearted and sincere.

Sheesh, I got another message from yet ANOTHER one of his internet girls, sticking up for him. How are they finding me? Blocked her, but yep I was naughty again and sent her a note first. (not a mean one, and no info) I’m really sorry, I know it will probably bite me in the ass, but I do so love having the last word. ~looks down shamefacedly~

Dear Kat,

QUOTE: Looks down shamefacedly

NOT!!! you stinker! LOL

Kat,

I wonder who is driving this campaign of cheerleaders for his side? How annoying. And how upsetting. The more we argue the more we ook crazy.

When this kind of thing was happening to me, I felt like I was losing my mind. I do like to be right, especially when I AM! Like when I am being abused by some psycho… I want to be believed! Not be accused of the very thing that’s happening to ME!

You may get the last word and you may not. Be careful Kat. Some of these guys are vicious. He is much more skilled at damaging your reputation than you would be at damaging his… even if what you say is true.

Just be careful.

:o)
Aloha
P.S. Believe me. I do get the sheer pleasure of having your say and taking a crack at ’em.

I think a lot of people who make those seemingly “clueless” comments in support of this father, and viciously attacking the mother, are probably psychopathic (or some similar disorder) themselves… or just jerk abusive fathers who are bitter that they have to pay child support and are denied custody & visitation, justifiably because they’re nuts & violent, so they relate with this so-called father, and see the mother as a stand-in for all women they pathologically hate & resent, their ex-wife in particular.

If that’s the case, most of those people you can NEVER “get through to” – because they don’t want to understand, because they don’t really see anything terribly wrong with being a con man, abusive, or whatever. I think there are a lot more people than we’d ever want to realize that actually just don’t see the big deal with hurting other people.

I mean you just have to wonder if someone was really simply clueless about the situation, why would they post such angry vitriolic comments to this article? That’s the tone of someone who’s got ISSUES.

well.. he I’M’d me again to say he couldn’t find my stuff etc. so I said fine and blocked him

OHHHH does it feel so good to have him blocked.. all of them blocked
I still feel shaky and somehow “dirtied” but oh so free right now.. they are gone with their little dramas
yayyyy

Oh and yeah one of his “smart” friends evidently is trying to get him to say I slandered him. But I never said anything mean or degrading about him at all.

So before I blocked him I told him that “slander” is not when you say “this guy did such and such”, but slander is when you say things like “you are a vindictive bitch with no life” which is what she wrote me, and I told him that I kept it just in case she was trying to start shit with me. I also told him that I wouldn’t start anything with them if they didn’t start anything with me.. and I could tell he accepted that and will likely call off the squad in a day or too. What a bunch of pathetic women that take a man like this who has destroyed their lives and friggen SUPPORT him. Oh well, I hope it’s all over now

WP–I totally agree!

Aloha,
I totally agree with your theory why some don’t ‘get it’. They don’t want to identify themselves with us because if they acknowledged what had happened to us, they would have to admit that they had been fooled too. Bang on the nail!!!
Swallow

Donna, Thank you so much for your contributions on this. I have several observations.

1 – I agree with nearly everything you wrote. It is extremely frustrating to read comments that criticize the women who get involved with psychopaths more than they criticize the psychopaths. Let’s put the blame where it belongs!

2 – I also agree with you that showing superficial evidence of being a “good father” does not trump evidence that one is a psychopath/liar. All those people who commented that Mr. Rockefeller may have lied about his identity, but at least he was a good dad, have no idea what they are talking about and could cause damage to the children involved.

I agree with you that psychopaths by definition do not love their children; by definition, they have no empathy and no remorse. If one can be certain a person is a psychopath, then one can be sure that person does not love his or her children despite any superficial displays. But in the absence of that certainty, I am worried that some people seeing this in the definition will mistakenly conclude that if a man appears to love his child than he cannot be a psychopath. This is false, obviously, but I think these displays of affection by psychopaths confuse everyone.

3 – I also notice you have singled out the comments that are most appallingly critical of Ms. Boss for her apparent fault of loving a psychopath. I agree–these are the comments that get under one’s skin the most!! But I hope you are doing this for professional reasons and not because you are truly allowing your buttons to be pushed by the ignorant people out there. Please do not take personally the misplaced and ignorant comments out there by people who apparently have an axe to grind. I agree they are frustrating and annoying comments but the focus should be on reaching more reasonable people and educating society as a whole. Some of these people who have a chip on their shoulder will never see the truth, so why focus on them? Please try to stay positive and work for change slowly. I think you are doing an incredible public service, and would hate to see you become discouraged by comments like this.

Yesss, to all. Despite all the evidence, all the history, all the STUFF even my most aware and clued in friends continue to say… BUT AT LEAST HE LOVES HIS CHILDREN. wHICH WOULD BE A GOOD THING IF IT WERE TRUE.

I KNOW he is using them up, setting them up to be targets. They are in their 20’s, and they have loving memories of him being there for soccer practice, and showing up for them, buying the stuff, etc.

How can I burst their bubble any more than I already have by leaving their “perfect” Dad.?

The P’s are so much more clever in their deceit than we are in our sincerity. Sincerity is just that, naked, raw, real. They plan and then they USE and LIE.

The only way I could MAYBE protect my kids is to kill them with kindness. Tell them my truth But it would only be mine.

So I will have to watch, just like at the football games, hoping my kid gets up after the mad, illegal, facemask pulling tackle.

Hoping they choose to stick up for themselves and still be fairminded.

I have cast my lot with fariness. Humble a place as that may be. Peace all.

Eyes: you have stated a great truth right there-The P’s are so much more clever in their deceit than we are in our sincerity. Sincerity is just that, naked, raw, real. They plan and then they USE and LIE

Great news!!!!

They got him!!!!

Well I guess I was a little late. But you don’t know what a smile this news brought to my face today! It is great news when a story end this way. Believe me, it doesn’t happen as much as it should!! Why are our children just pawns in the court system, Department of Family services and other parties that dictate how we should protect them! Yet they refuse to see if the “parent” is emotionally stable? How this person who has no history is allow this much freedom to do as he pleases? Laws should be for all parties involved which includes “our children’s”!

Still more question concerning this man Clark Rockefeller

http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=5522209&page=1

Just glad the little girl is now with her mother and is safe!

This is precisely why I haven’t divorced my sociopathic/narcissist spouse! Keep your children #1, and in YOUR control, not the courts!

An excellent post! How do smart women get taken in by con men? Simple- by being human. My legal education didn’t prevent me from falling for my ex-husband’s bs. He had no criminal background to look up, and his record of conning & abusing women wasn’t written anywhere. And being a civilian, I couldn’t spot his military fraud and fake Navy SEAL stories either. We were divorced in 3 years. Thank god we brought no kids into our mix, but if we had, I’m SURE he’d do the same thing as Rockefeller. Some of these holier-than-thou critics who put the wives & g/f’s of socio’s down don’t realize that it has nothing to do with academic intelligence or achievement. In my situation, I believe my empathic nature rendered me a bit more vulnerable than I could’ve been, but hey… being empathic isn’t a fault.

Kat_o_nine: I received e-mails and myspace messages from my ex’s female supporters, too. About how I “just didn’t understand” him, how he was “a good guy” trying to repair his life, blah blah. He still tries to generate fake myspace profiles and get added to my friends list. Needless to say, I scrutinize each one!

The “slander” thing.. it must be false to be slander. When I blogged and vented about my experience shortly after our split last year, I told it like it was. However, I didn’t use real names, but mythological metaphors to describe our situation. He was “Hades” in my blog. It didn’t stop the “slander” flag from being waved in my face by him and his legion of female fans. But because I truly know the definition of slander, I wasn’t intimidated and basically told ’em to screw off. I recently completed a writing project on my experiences in which I used fake names… not because I care about slander, but rather to protect privacy of good folks and lessen HIS power. (That way, if he tries to cry “slander,” HE has to claim he’s my perpetrator, not me. Hah!) I just got word from someone in his area that he is panicking, off the hook about it cause he saw a link to it on-line. I don’t really care. His fits and tantrums used to hold sway over me, but they don’t anymore.

I don’t believe it is cut and dry…and while I lay ALL the blame for crimes/ cruelty at the feet of psychopaths….we do SOMETIMES,IN some instances – enable them. In no way am I implying any child brought any abuse onto themselves.

I blogged on a book I just read a bit of that lists traits of victims and practical ways to cope.

http://holywatersalt.blogspot.com

How do we get involved with men like them? My mom told me once, “I know there are women out there who get fooled, I never thought you would be one of them.” Needless to say, I felt horrible. What are we guilty of? I don’t understand people who tell me to just get over it and move on, and I was lucky, I did not have any money to give him, and it was a one year long interaction. The lies were very good, but I checked them out after he ended our relationship, and I was angry at myself, very angry.

once again, im very angry today. i found out that my x gave the other women who he was cheating on me with 3000 for all the money he owed her. but he cant give me a dime for all the money he owes me. seriously what a A**HOLE. i learned to never ever get things in your name for someone your dating. never get a car, or a loan, or anything, all you do is get screwed. his reasoning behind this was so he could get rid of her, and so she would leave him alone. i dont believe that but at this point i shouldt care anymore. i will get my money one day and i realize that im going to have to go about it the hard way. i never met anything to him ever!!!!!!

on top of this, he cant seem to understand why i dont want to give him another chance. he cant seem to understand why i wont answer the phone, or see him. to him all im doing is playing a game, and i have a new bf he says.

I heard on DAteline last night that “Rockefeeller’s” prints match the prints of a man last seen in 1985 in california and wanted for the DOUBLE MURDER of a rich American couple, He (the suspect whose prints match “Rockefeller’s” had used a German Passport to get his driver’s liscense–he disappeared at the time of the murder…..so, they may have identified this man for who he really is, AND solved a MURDER that is over 20 yrs old at the same time.

God works in mysterious ways, without his arrogant kidnapping of his own child, he might NEVER HAVE BEEN BROUGHT TO JUSTICE for the murder—but they become SO arrogant and SO intent on revenge (and he knew that the kidnapping would terrorize his X wife) So, many times if you just give these people ENOUGH ROPE they will hang themselves. I am just thankful to God that this child isALIVE, unlike Amy Castillo’s children.

I also saw an interview with the girl’s baby sitter where she “idealized” his actions and “love” as a “father.”–but then we know that psychopaths are good to their POSSESSIONS and his child was obviously his POSSESSION which he couldn’t let his X wife “get away with” taking from him. Sheesh! LET JUSTICE REIGN! I hope all those “journalists” that disrespected the mother will have to EAT every edition of their papers–and I hope they choke on them.

I don’t think people understand these guys until they come in direct contact with them. I was watching Dr. Phil’s show the other day, and told my mom to look at his guest’s eyes, the eyes of a sociopath, and she thought he seemed like a very nice guy. Never mind that his exg was describing extreme abuse suffered while in the relationship with him. Nobody understands unless we go through it.

I think the “mask” that they display as like in Rockefeller, where the girl’s baby sitter just knew he “loved” his child, that people get the idea that these people DO have “some good in them” when in fact, that is NOT THE CASE AT ALL.

They are sooooo good at puttiing up the MASK in front of casual contact, and reserve the TRUE SELF for those unlucky enough to be “family” (including some close friends, etc). As far as I can tell, my mother has only shown her REAL FACE to me and to me alone. Since we (especially in America) seem to think that “democracy” extends to “the majority” of opinions, then obviously, the “face” that I think is the MASK must be the “real” one since she is consistent with that mask and appears to the majority of people to be so “sweet and reasonable, loving and kind” when in fact it is not so.

Obviously “Rockefeller” was very good at masking himself. I wonder now how many bodies will be discovered in Germany, or where ever he came from before he hit the US.

There were some “clues” though, in that he was very inconsistent in telling people what he did for a living, and had 8 or 10 different stories (even some in writing) so that there obviously WERE some red flags of inconsistencey if people had put their heads together or known what to look for in a P. One lady interviewed said that he had told her THREE different things that he “did for aliving” that were contradictory and mutually exclusive. This lady was however , Just a neighbor, so didn’t know him well, but did see and remember that “something was off” with his explinations of what he did for a living.

My own neighbor that is now referred to in the neighborhood as “crazy Bob” (I wonder WHO could have started that nick name for him, the Ox Drover says as she shamefacedly hangs her head–just like Kat! LOL) but he was into all this more I think in a way of confabulation, just for attention. He is definitely attention deficit, hyperactive, and has poor social skills, but wants so badly to be “noticed” and admired. After he sued me for the 50$K for HIS ’emotional pain and suffering” because my husband’s plane went down on his land, was run out of the community almost literally on a rail, but in actual fact, I don’t think this man (my neighbor) was any more viscious than a lonely child looking for playmates and not knowing how to contact them, or how to fit in, so he confabulated and told these wonderous “stories” to attract friends, and to impress them with his knowledge, bravery, etc. Of course he was so socially out of it that he didn’t “get it” that NO ONE BELIEVED these outrageous tales, that they did sound like some lonely ten year old coming up with tales to impress the other kids.

So not all people who confabulate are dangerous, but the Ps who confabulate sure are—this one in particular. I’m just glad he is in custoday and the little girl is safe. I can definitely see why the neighbor lady wouldn’t have delved any deeper into her neighbor’s inconsistent “jobs”—

This man who calls himself ‘Clark Rockefeller’ is now a person of interest in a cold case double murder of a husband and wife in Southern California.

People don’t express outrage at these crimes anymore – the 11 o’clock news is nothing more than a continuation of the evening’s entertainment. As a nation, we are ‘dumbed out’ and oblivious to what is going on in our neighborhoods and our nation’s capital.

Dear Louise,

Did you see thepicture of the “person of interest” in 1985? It was “Rockefeller” and looked just like him, only a bit younger. Last night dateline said that “Rockefeller’s” fingerprints matched the print off the “person of interests’ ” drivers license in CA.

I can only imagine how his poor x-wife is reeling with all these disclosures. Knowing what a “bullet” she dodged in this man not killing her or her child.

With the media “blaming” her for being so stupid in not figuring out who this psychopath was etc….I can only imagine the pain she is in, and the relief at getting some answers too. I pray for this poor woman and her child, and for the healing of the devestation that this woman’s life has been thrust into. I pray for her healing and that she finally comes to understand that she got hit blind sided by a “freight train” of a psychopath.

Blind sided by a “Freight train” of a psychopath” – great description.
However painful, at least this poor woman now knows the whole truth and can begin healing. Up till now (and without proof) she has not only suffered the mind games and manipulation of a P but has had to endure the doubts and cruel comments of many others. Like many of us, she has been victimised many times over.
I do take heart though, that even if it takes a long time, these slime balls do eventually get too ‘cocky’ and give themselves away.
Swallow

This just again proves to me that sociopaths behavior is so unbelievable! Even when the sociopath tells you, you don’t believe them, because it is just so far fetched. These stories sound like works of fiction, but they are true. My exsociopath would say the most horrible, craziest, things. They were so far fetched that I thought he was joking. I thought that the “normal” sounding jargon was the truth and everything else was the joke. Maybe it is the other way around. Getting married and having a loving family was the joke. The crazy horrible stuff was the truth? Or was it all true or all a lie? I am worried about the crazy stuff he said because he “joked” about everything that Rockefeller DID. Like killing and abduction. Was it a joke, a lie, or the truth? I don’t know either.

My guess based on my experience with a sociopath, is that this Rockefeller DID sometimes say things that revealed his true nature to Sandra. But it was so far fetched, such a fictional character off some gangster movie, and such a dichotomy to his normal persona. She would have thought he was joking.

I do not know.. my ex-bf would sometimes talk about his dark side, and my first husband would joke about being a con-man or a chameleon, and about being paranoid.. but he NEVER hinted or joked about his suppressed rage and violence.

Dear Bird,

Yes, dear they do tell you some things and you may not know the truth from the lie, but the thing is that they ARE capable of things that no normal human would even dream of.

I’m a big joker, and have a “twisted” sense of humor, my kids and I are always “threatening” each other–my son C says he will put me in a nursing home, take my false teeth away and feed me lumpy oatmeal through a straw! Silly things like that. Or they may be joking while I am cooking and I will pretend to reach for an iron skillet to wave at them. But it is all in fun. But the psychopaths I think like to talk about scary things because it makes them feel powerful, like a three year old who is scared of a dog and might threaten to “blow up” the dog. Unfortunately, the psychopaths are not three years old and they have the cunning and malice to do some of these things.

One would have thought that Rockefeller would have been a little more wary about kidnapping the girl since he is most likely the man who killed those people 25 years ago (finger print evidence) yet, he was apparently so intent on getting hold of the child (probably to upset the mother and prove his control) he didn’t obviously realize that the whole world would turn out looking for him, he didn’t control his impulses, he got cocky, after having apparently successfully gotten away with the hiding out for 25 years—

They are so spooky, the ones that are violent, like my son and my P-father before him.

NOT all Ps are like that, not all stupid enough to do violence, or plot “way out” things, but never the less, I tend to be a bit more paranoid about what they will do than most people because I have been involved with ones that have and would kill again. Would brag abot doing so.

I know I have given you some “paranoid” advice before about the Baby Birdie, but I am cautious about safety before all else. I won’t put ANYTHING past a P. Grabbing a child, or like Amy Castillo’s X killing the children to “get back at her.”

For those mothers who are having to let the Ps have visitation rights, I sincerely recommend that they become “actresses” and to protect their children by being as manipulative as the Ps. If they aren’t married, don’t put the man’s name on the birth certificate. If he wants visitation make him PROVE he is the father. Don’t believe a WORD they say. NC if possible, but if you legally must keep contact open, don’t fight with them if you can help it and get into a “leg hiking contest” like two dogs with the kids in the middle. Even if they don’t physically hurt the children, they will usually take their anger at you out on the kids emotionally one way or another.

First off, do not trust them, or think that they have any regard for your child’s welfare except as a weapon to hurt you with.

I know that sounds terribly “negative’ but sometimes REALITY IS NEGATIVE.

Bird, my dear, I am SOOOO glad your X dumped you before the Birdie was born, and so glad you are doing so much better than you were right after he left. I know that there still must be so much pain, like just about all ofus, but I am so thankful that you and the Birdie are safely away from that rabid animal. I was so fortunte that my mother (dysfunctional herself) did marry my wonderful step father when I was 3 and he was such a wonderful mentor to me, and an example of a fine Christian man. He adopted me when I was six so that even if my mother had died, my P-bio-father would have no legal claim on me.

I hope and pray for you and the Birdie that there will come into your lives such a man to be the Birdie’s REAL FATHER, a guide and a mentor. Prayers and (((hugs to you and Birdie))))

Yes Birdie I agree with Oxy. Be as wise as a serpent and as gentle as a dove. If it takes a little dishonesty to protect BB from his evil influence, go ahead. Keep all his emails and letters. If he says anything threatening, make a note of the date and time. Because if it comes into court.. he will use all forms of manipulation to get what he wants. Hopefully he will forget you ever existed. Poor girl. I hope you can just enjoy the baby, if it was me, I would have a hard time. I would be very resentful of having to become a single parent. Best of luck, sweet birdie

Dear Kat,

In my opinion, A single parent to a baby is a MUCH BETTER OPTION than having a PSYCHOPATHIC CO-PARENT in the mix. With no “co-parent” who is manipulating and using your child for their own purposes, the drama and the insanity, and the other crap is NOT THERE. You are SAFE from the harassment and damage that the psychopath can and will do to both you and the child. Safe from the worry about what will happen to the child if you were to die or become disabled.

I have been both a married stay at home mom and a single parent, so I pretty well have the idea on who both of them work, and personally the single parent role isn’t all that bad. It is financially, but at the same time, I MADE my children a “family” of other single parents and their children, including male single parents who were good role models for my kids and “uncles” and “aunts” and “cousins” so that they were not without support and love. My little group of closely bonded single parents did things as a group with our kids, we exchanged baby sitting, we camped, we gardened, played music, and did all kinds of things as a group with the kids. In fact, my son C told me the other day (he’s 38 now) that it “was a good life” and “we had everything we needed” and “I can see how hard you worked to make sure we had support and love and male role models.”

And, looking back on those years as a single parent before I remarried (7 yrs) they WERE good. Sometimes tough financially, but LOTS OF LOVE AND SUPPORT for both me and my children.

We lived financially “hand to mouth” but we still had lots of fun.

I agree Oxy, and our family before I remarried was fun, those were some of the hardest but most rewarding years of my life. But what I meant was, lots of times with new moms, people can talk like nothing is important but the baby. I’m just saying if it was me, I would be like.. thanks bud, I really needed a baby to care for on top of getting my heart ripped out. The mommy is important too.

Oh, abslolutely, Kat, and I am so proud of how Bird has made such progress in not only taking care of BAby Birdie, but in taking care of Bird (herself) as well.

I just read the Boston news link on the other kidnapping thread that Dr. Leedom posted. This predator “Rockefeller” is such a FRAUD–and likely a murderer as well.

It must amazes me the lengths that these people go to, to put up a front and how they manage to elude the police for so many crimes. Fortunately, their arrogance brings many of them smashing down though. This guy had apparently gotten away with murder for 23 years, scamming his way across the country, presenting himself as some “hot shot” then marrying this poor deluded woman. You would have thought that he would have known he couldn’t get away with kidnapping, that the entire world would turn out looking for that little child, but his arrogance (and past successes) left him vulnerable to his own worst enemy, HIMSELF.

And this yahoo was “successful” if you equate that to staying a step ahead of the law for all those years. But his own arrogance caused his downfall.

I look back at my own situation with the ARROGANT Ps in the family and how their own arrogance brought them down–and yet, they still do not see that, they still blame others for their down fall. They just don’t get it. They are NOT the center of the world, they are NOT the smartest people in the world, and they sure as heck are NOT the MOST IMPORTANT PERSONS in the world, and not even in my world. I can’t believe that they ever convinced me that they were THAT IMPORTANT TO ME, that I couldn’t LIVE without them, that without them I was NOTHING. They have nothing to offer me, never did have anything except the “fantasy” that they painted for me on a canvas of air—well, it has evaporated, and it is GONE, and I like the VIEW from here (reality) a lot better.

Music please:

“I can see clearly now” (ta da)

Oh,yea, I know, I can’t carry a tune in a bucket with a lid, but you get the idea! LOL

I am now joining kat-o-nine, in that the sociopaths girlfriend wrote to me yesterday over email! What drama these people are into. My friend asked if I am sure it is her, and I thought that was a good question. I have no way of knowing that it is her, it could be him! My new goal in life is to CUT the drama. These people brought so much drama into my life, that I did not ask for. I want to build a healthy life for my family and focus my energy on what matters. I do not want to live my life around people who fabricate drama. You are right OxY. I will not let their arrogance and drama into my mind and life, anymore. They are not important.

My dear sweet Bird!!!!

Fly away free! It is unbelieveable that he/she/they can’t seem to forget about you isn’t it? They have to poke their heads in every so often to see if they can make your life miserable with their LITTLE DRAMA—they just want to make sure that you haven’t recovered too much so they can chuckle in glee at what a LOSER YOU ARE! LOL Well, my dear Bird you are the BIGGEST WINNER OF ALL!!! You are FREE!!!! They are so arrogant that they can’t see the truth if it hit them like a freight train!

Bird, you have come so far in such a short time with heavy responsibilities. I am so PROUD OF YOU and how you have risen to the occasion, and I know it has not been easy going through the last three months of pregnency and labor and delivery by yourself (except for your wonderful friend who was your delivery coach) and all the post-partumn stuff.

But you are a wonderful trooper, Bird and the Little Birdie is also FREE of this P-sperm donor as well. That was all my P-bio-father was, a SPERM DONOR.

The Birdie is the most fortunate child in the world, Birdie has a very smart, loving mother who has sense enough and back bone enough to put the Birdie’s SAFETY FIRST before anything else! And BTW I just happen to think too, that she is one of the most loving and caring people in the world! ((hugs))))

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