Reigh Storrow Mills Boss, the 7-year-old girl allegedly kidnapped by her father, Clark Rockefeller, has been safely reunited with her mother, Sandra Boss.
Last Thursday, I received a phone call from an ABC News reporter who wanted information about women who marry con men. At that point, I knew nothing about the case. The girl’s mother had just released a video appeal to the father of the child, pleading for her safe return. But I did know about marrying a con man. After speaking to the reporter for about 30 minutes, I put her in touch with Dr. Liane Leedom and two Lovefraud readers who were willing to be interviewed.
Here’s the story: How do smart women get taken by con men?
The story was mostly accurate. But one sentence exemplified the people’s confusion about con artists, sociopaths, psychopaths. The reporter wrote: “Leedom believes con artists seek out people who will be ‘good’ victims, just like a psychopath may seek out someone to kill.”
Con artists are psychopaths. And not all psychopaths are killers.
Blaming the victim
In her article about this case on Friday, Dr. Leedom drew attention to a Boston Herald columnist, Peter Gelzinis, who wrote a piece highly critical of Sandra Boss. He wrote that the con man, Clark Rockefeller, “managed to stay married to a brilliant Stanford/Harvard Business School world beater for about a dozen years before she apparently figured out her husband had no Social Security number, no valid driver’s license and no visible means of support.”
Readers posted comments in reaction to the story. Here are some of them:
She’s not missing!!!!! She’s with her father!
I agree that Ms. Boss has a lot of explaining to do. Fourteen years is a long time to remain in the dark about one’s spouse, assuming a person has two brain cells to rub together. And I think it’s pretty outrageous that she accepted a higher-paying position in England, when she knew it would damage Rockefeller’s rights to visit their child.
More support for con artist
With this, I started looking around the web for more blog comments. Here are some on the Topix web site, based on a Chicago Tribune article:
Massachusetts is notorious for taking parental rights from fathers and financially ruining them. Why wasn’t the mother prosecuted for abducting the child to England. God forbid the lunatics in the media question her…..
I think it is very important that a child has the right to a relationship with both parents therefore in Idaho where I live joint custody is the law of the land unless extreme abuse against the child can be proved, the social worker injured herself by running after and grabbing onto that car, that is ridiculous, she was never attacked, I don’t blame the Father for absconding with his child if he was required to only have supervised visits and yet the Mother was globe trotting with his child.
I do not agree that abuse against a woman or the Mother is good reason to require supervised visits because sometimes the woman starts the abuse, I have seen my sister in action and she beat the living crap out of her ex husband simply because he didn’t give her his paycheck!
Here are comments on a story published by CBS News, in which Reigh Boss’ former babysitter called Clark Rockefeller a “great father”:
The system is set up to cater to women, period. I hope this guy has a great life with his daughter.The only thing the money hungry bitch is worried about is $$$$$.
I still see that the mother is an instigator. I hope as a woman, that I would never take my child away from the man I had him/her with. No matter how much I hated him. My sister HATES her ex-husband but allows him to see his children all the time…you know why? Cause they love daddy too, it’s not just about mommy…when you do what this “shrew” did….THATS WHAT screws up a child. And now I am contradicting myself because the father has now done that. BUT SHE STARTED IT.
Learning needed
There are, of course, plenty of blog comments that supported the mother and criticized the con artist father. But I was looking for the comments that indicate how little people understand about con men, psychopaths and child custody.
Con artists are psychopaths, also called sociopaths. Here’s what we all, as a society, need to learn about them:
- Psychopaths can be either men or women.
- Anyone can be conned by a psychopath.
- Psychopaths make terrible parents.
- Psychopaths do not love their children. They use the children for their own purposes, and damage the kids in the process.
- Children should be protected from psychopathic parents.
- The issue is not whether the father or mother should get custody. The issue is that the healthy parent should get custody.
This is precisely why I haven’t divorced my sociopathic/narcissist spouse! Keep your children #1, and in YOUR control, not the courts!
An excellent post! How do smart women get taken in by con men? Simple- by being human. My legal education didn’t prevent me from falling for my ex-husband’s bs. He had no criminal background to look up, and his record of conning & abusing women wasn’t written anywhere. And being a civilian, I couldn’t spot his military fraud and fake Navy SEAL stories either. We were divorced in 3 years. Thank god we brought no kids into our mix, but if we had, I’m SURE he’d do the same thing as Rockefeller. Some of these holier-than-thou critics who put the wives & g/f’s of socio’s down don’t realize that it has nothing to do with academic intelligence or achievement. In my situation, I believe my empathic nature rendered me a bit more vulnerable than I could’ve been, but hey… being empathic isn’t a fault.
Kat_o_nine: I received e-mails and myspace messages from my ex’s female supporters, too. About how I “just didn’t understand” him, how he was “a good guy” trying to repair his life, blah blah. He still tries to generate fake myspace profiles and get added to my friends list. Needless to say, I scrutinize each one!
The “slander” thing.. it must be false to be slander. When I blogged and vented about my experience shortly after our split last year, I told it like it was. However, I didn’t use real names, but mythological metaphors to describe our situation. He was “Hades” in my blog. It didn’t stop the “slander” flag from being waved in my face by him and his legion of female fans. But because I truly know the definition of slander, I wasn’t intimidated and basically told ’em to screw off. I recently completed a writing project on my experiences in which I used fake names… not because I care about slander, but rather to protect privacy of good folks and lessen HIS power. (That way, if he tries to cry “slander,” HE has to claim he’s my perpetrator, not me. Hah!) I just got word from someone in his area that he is panicking, off the hook about it cause he saw a link to it on-line. I don’t really care. His fits and tantrums used to hold sway over me, but they don’t anymore.
How do we get involved with men like them? My mom told me once, “I know there are women out there who get fooled, I never thought you would be one of them.” Needless to say, I felt horrible. What are we guilty of? I don’t understand people who tell me to just get over it and move on, and I was lucky, I did not have any money to give him, and it was a one year long interaction. The lies were very good, but I checked them out after he ended our relationship, and I was angry at myself, very angry.
I don’t believe it is cut and dry…and while I lay ALL the blame for crimes/ cruelty at the feet of psychopaths….we do SOMETIMES,IN some instances – enable them. In no way am I implying any child brought any abuse onto themselves.
I blogged on a book I just read a bit of that lists traits of victims and practical ways to cope.
http://holywatersalt.blogspot.com
once again, im very angry today. i found out that my x gave the other women who he was cheating on me with 3000 for all the money he owed her. but he cant give me a dime for all the money he owes me. seriously what a A**HOLE. i learned to never ever get things in your name for someone your dating. never get a car, or a loan, or anything, all you do is get screwed. his reasoning behind this was so he could get rid of her, and so she would leave him alone. i dont believe that but at this point i shouldt care anymore. i will get my money one day and i realize that im going to have to go about it the hard way. i never met anything to him ever!!!!!!
on top of this, he cant seem to understand why i dont want to give him another chance. he cant seem to understand why i wont answer the phone, or see him. to him all im doing is playing a game, and i have a new bf he says.
I heard on DAteline last night that “Rockefeeller’s” prints match the prints of a man last seen in 1985 in california and wanted for the DOUBLE MURDER of a rich American couple, He (the suspect whose prints match “Rockefeller’s” had used a German Passport to get his driver’s liscense–he disappeared at the time of the murder…..so, they may have identified this man for who he really is, AND solved a MURDER that is over 20 yrs old at the same time.
God works in mysterious ways, without his arrogant kidnapping of his own child, he might NEVER HAVE BEEN BROUGHT TO JUSTICE for the murder—but they become SO arrogant and SO intent on revenge (and he knew that the kidnapping would terrorize his X wife) So, many times if you just give these people ENOUGH ROPE they will hang themselves. I am just thankful to God that this child isALIVE, unlike Amy Castillo’s children.
I also saw an interview with the girl’s baby sitter where she “idealized” his actions and “love” as a “father.”–but then we know that psychopaths are good to their POSSESSIONS and his child was obviously his POSSESSION which he couldn’t let his X wife “get away with” taking from him. Sheesh! LET JUSTICE REIGN! I hope all those “journalists” that disrespected the mother will have to EAT every edition of their papers–and I hope they choke on them.
I don’t think people understand these guys until they come in direct contact with them. I was watching Dr. Phil’s show the other day, and told my mom to look at his guest’s eyes, the eyes of a sociopath, and she thought he seemed like a very nice guy. Never mind that his exg was describing extreme abuse suffered while in the relationship with him. Nobody understands unless we go through it.
I think the “mask” that they display as like in Rockefeller, where the girl’s baby sitter just knew he “loved” his child, that people get the idea that these people DO have “some good in them” when in fact, that is NOT THE CASE AT ALL.
They are sooooo good at puttiing up the MASK in front of casual contact, and reserve the TRUE SELF for those unlucky enough to be “family” (including some close friends, etc). As far as I can tell, my mother has only shown her REAL FACE to me and to me alone. Since we (especially in America) seem to think that “democracy” extends to “the majority” of opinions, then obviously, the “face” that I think is the MASK must be the “real” one since she is consistent with that mask and appears to the majority of people to be so “sweet and reasonable, loving and kind” when in fact it is not so.
Obviously “Rockefeller” was very good at masking himself. I wonder now how many bodies will be discovered in Germany, or where ever he came from before he hit the US.
There were some “clues” though, in that he was very inconsistent in telling people what he did for a living, and had 8 or 10 different stories (even some in writing) so that there obviously WERE some red flags of inconsistencey if people had put their heads together or known what to look for in a P. One lady interviewed said that he had told her THREE different things that he “did for aliving” that were contradictory and mutually exclusive. This lady was however , Just a neighbor, so didn’t know him well, but did see and remember that “something was off” with his explinations of what he did for a living.
My own neighbor that is now referred to in the neighborhood as “crazy Bob” (I wonder WHO could have started that nick name for him, the Ox Drover says as she shamefacedly hangs her head–just like Kat! LOL) but he was into all this more I think in a way of confabulation, just for attention. He is definitely attention deficit, hyperactive, and has poor social skills, but wants so badly to be “noticed” and admired. After he sued me for the 50$K for HIS ’emotional pain and suffering” because my husband’s plane went down on his land, was run out of the community almost literally on a rail, but in actual fact, I don’t think this man (my neighbor) was any more viscious than a lonely child looking for playmates and not knowing how to contact them, or how to fit in, so he confabulated and told these wonderous “stories” to attract friends, and to impress them with his knowledge, bravery, etc. Of course he was so socially out of it that he didn’t “get it” that NO ONE BELIEVED these outrageous tales, that they did sound like some lonely ten year old coming up with tales to impress the other kids.
So not all people who confabulate are dangerous, but the Ps who confabulate sure are—this one in particular. I’m just glad he is in custoday and the little girl is safe. I can definitely see why the neighbor lady wouldn’t have delved any deeper into her neighbor’s inconsistent “jobs”—
This man who calls himself ‘Clark Rockefeller’ is now a person of interest in a cold case double murder of a husband and wife in Southern California.
People don’t express outrage at these crimes anymore – the 11 o’clock news is nothing more than a continuation of the evening’s entertainment. As a nation, we are ‘dumbed out’ and oblivious to what is going on in our neighborhoods and our nation’s capital.
Dear Louise,
Did you see thepicture of the “person of interest” in 1985? It was “Rockefeller” and looked just like him, only a bit younger. Last night dateline said that “Rockefeller’s” fingerprints matched the print off the “person of interests’ ” drivers license in CA.
I can only imagine how his poor x-wife is reeling with all these disclosures. Knowing what a “bullet” she dodged in this man not killing her or her child.
With the media “blaming” her for being so stupid in not figuring out who this psychopath was etc….I can only imagine the pain she is in, and the relief at getting some answers too. I pray for this poor woman and her child, and for the healing of the devestation that this woman’s life has been thrust into. I pray for her healing and that she finally comes to understand that she got hit blind sided by a “freight train” of a psychopath.