Today, my new book, Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, becomes available on Amazon.com and through all other distribution channels.
This book reveals, for the first time, the tactics of social predators who pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. It explains how sociopaths seduce their targets, why it’s hard to escape the relationships, and how people can protect themselves.
Of course, Red Flags of Love Fraud has been available in the Lovefraud Store for several months, and many of you have written to me to say that it precisely describes your experience. Here is one of your letters:
I stumbled across your site in 12/2011 ”¨while Googling the words “pathological liar.” I was Googling those words because the guy I married on 12/16/11 abandoned me on 12/29/11, just 13 days later, all while leaving a trail a lies. The article “10 signs the guy you’re dating is a sociopath” popped up and I read it with my mouth wide open screaming, “Oh my gosh, this describes him exactly!”
I ordered your book with the same title and it has helped me gain understanding and closure. I have spent countless hours trying to figure out what happened, until I read your book. He literally used to say some of the exact phrases you used in the book. The hardest thing and the most helpful thing I’ve had to do is accept that the guy I knew and loved never existed.
I cut all forms of communication back in February. That also has helped me a lot. I’ve since found out that he was addicted to drugs and he stole jewelry from me when he left. I now realize that I should be happy he left me because he could have so easily destroyed me if he had stayed. Although it hurts, I say thank you God for looking out for me. I just wanted you to know that a woman in South Carolina has begun to heal because of you allowing God to use you in writing the book. — T.H. in South Carolina
Thank you T.H. for your kind words! I’m sorry for your experience, but glad that my book you.
Now, the Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook
In addition to explaining the sociopath, I want to help all of you develop the awareness and internal strength to avoid or escape them.
When sociopaths are on the prowl for a hook-up, they engage in calculated seduction. They probe for our strengths and weaknesses, and then use them to worm their way into our lives. So I also created the Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook, which focuses on you. The Workbook enables you to identify your vulnerabilities before the predators do, so you can recognize when you’re being targeted. Or, if you suspect that you’re already in an exploitative relationship, this workbook helps you figure out how you were seduced, what you need to do to leave, and how to protect yourself so that it never happens again.
The Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook contains a dozen checklists and nearly 50 questions to encourage you to think objectively about your situation. I’ve included space right in the book for you to record your answers and observations. You’ll clarify:
- Personal beliefs that make it hard to recognize an exploiter
- Your traits and needs that make you vulnerable to a sociopath
- Your positive qualities that a sociopath would love to abuse
- The strategies a predator may use to seduce you
- Your reactions to internal warnings, or warnings from others
- Why you may overlook or excuse bad behavior
- How to leave an abusive individual once and for all
A sociopath cannot have an exploitative relationship with you if you don’t cooperate. The Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook helps you fortify your internal defenses so that you can avoid, or escape, a damaging involvement.
The Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook is available EXCLUSIVELY in the Lovefraud Store. A $6.95 value, it is FREE with your purchase of the printed Red Flags of Love Fraud on Lovefraud.com (just pay the shipping cost for an additional book).
If you’ve already purchased the printed Red Flags of Love Fraud, you can request a free copy of the Workbook just pay the shipping and handling. This offer is only available to readers who purchased the book previously in the Lovefraud Store, and your prior purchase will be verified. Offer expires July 15, 2012.
Red Flags of Love Fraud e-book
Finally, Red Flags of Love Fraud is now available as an e-book. In the electronic version, the links to outside reference material are active, so if your device is connected to the Internet, you have immediate access to more in-depth information about sociopaths.
The e-book is available for any device—Kindle, Barnes and Noble Nook, Sony Reader, Apple iPad and iBook, and e-reading applications for your computer. This will be especially helpful for Lovefraud’s readers located outside of the United States, because you can now get the book without paying international shipping costs.
Order your copy of the Red Flags of Love Fraud today! In fact, order one for yourself, and one for a friend or family member who also needs the information!
Lovefraud Store
Printed book, Workbook and e-book in all formats
Amazon.com
Printed book and Kindle e-book
Truthspeak
DONNA!!!!!!!!!!!! TOWAAAAAANDAAAAAAAA!
Congratulations and THANK YOU for your determination and survival!
Brightest, brightest blessings
Donna Andersen
Thank you Truthspeak! I hope to teach people about this disorder so they don’t have to learn the hard way, like we all did.
alohatraveler
Too bad for James Montgomery that he married such a smart, articulate, and determined woman.
Little did he know that his bad deeds would launch such an awesome website empowering people all over the world to defeat shabby characters like him.
Congratulations on your hard work on the books. I will be ordering soon.
Aloha
Truthspeak
We need a farking “LIKE” option on this blog! LOL Alohatraveler said it to a “T!”
alohatraveler
truthspeak… there is a “like” button. Hit it. You never know who on FaceBook might need to read this. In my opinion… we all need to read this.
:O)
behind_blue_eyes
I purchased the e-book yesterday and I am about half finished reading it. Very good work Donna!
I think at least one of the comments was mine, if not it was very similar to what I experienced.
More to come…
behind_blue_eyes
Regarding the sociopath stare:
“Some people instinctively recoil from the stare. Others, however, override any sense of apprehension and interpret intense eye contact as a sign of attraction. “I remember his intense eye contact from the first moment I saw him, which made me a bit uncomfortable but made me believe he was strongly interested in me,” one survey respondent wrote.”
This is the comment I think I wrote. If not, it accurately describes my experience. Moreover, it was the first clue that I had been involved with a sociopath, when I came across an article describing the sociopath stare.
“But sociopaths are good at distracting us from their emptiness, so early in an involvement, you may see the lifeless eyes only fleetingly. In fact, this characteristic is often easier to notice in a photograph of the individual, rather than in person.”
Uncanny, as I did not see the emptiness in person, only after the fact in photos. Interestingly, in a conversion when he was flattering me on my “sky blue eyes,” he said his were more “cold and gray” than blue. I remember this comment disturbing me. If I had only known…
Louise
BBE:
OMG. Yeah, the stare. That is exactly how I felt…that the stare meant he was greatly attracted to me. What an idiot I was.
Photographs. I never saw any pictures of mine, but his daughter has his eyes and there are many photos of her on Facebook and Google. Wow…they are empty…it is sad. Extremely sad and creepy. She’s only 13. She looks exactly like him…she’s adorable, but I bet wicked.
That is weird that yours would say his eyes were cold and gray…who says that? I could see someone saying they were gray or grayish blue or something, but cold? Yeah, that was a huge red flag. These damaged beings…smh.
behind_blue_eyes
Louise;
My ex-spath’s oldest nephew looks very much like him, with the same eyes and same almost “devious” smile. This is very evident when the kid is side-by-side with his younger brother.
behind_blue_eyes
“The sociopaths who engaged in deceptive sex were the most pathological in the survey. On every measure, they were the most disordered and caused the most harm to their partners.”
My x-spath was HIV+ and did not tell me, lied about his online activities and was very much into porn.
“With sociopaths, however, the interest in pornography is often extreme, both in quantity and the level of deviance. “Sick stuff,” commented one survey respondent.”
The “sick stuff” comment could well have been me, as my x-spath was into porn depicting bareback sex, fisting, group sex, violent sex and more…
“Interestingly, 71 percent of the sexually deceptive group engaged in intense eye contact, compared to 57 percent of those who were not sexually deceptive. And 70 percent of the sexually deceptive group were described has having eyes that sometimes seemed lifeless, compared with 58 percent of the rest of the sociopaths.”
Again, I wish I knew the stare connection.