Today, my new book, Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, becomes available on Amazon.com and through all other distribution channels.
This book reveals, for the first time, the tactics of social predators who pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. It explains how sociopaths seduce their targets, why it’s hard to escape the relationships, and how people can protect themselves.
Of course, Red Flags of Love Fraud has been available in the Lovefraud Store for several months, and many of you have written to me to say that it precisely describes your experience. Here is one of your letters:
I stumbled across your site in 12/2011 ”¨while Googling the words “pathological liar.” I was Googling those words because the guy I married on 12/16/11 abandoned me on 12/29/11, just 13 days later, all while leaving a trail a lies. The article “10 signs the guy you’re dating is a sociopath” popped up and I read it with my mouth wide open screaming, “Oh my gosh, this describes him exactly!”
I ordered your book with the same title and it has helped me gain understanding and closure. I have spent countless hours trying to figure out what happened, until I read your book. He literally used to say some of the exact phrases you used in the book. The hardest thing and the most helpful thing I’ve had to do is accept that the guy I knew and loved never existed.
I cut all forms of communication back in February. That also has helped me a lot. I’ve since found out that he was addicted to drugs and he stole jewelry from me when he left. I now realize that I should be happy he left me because he could have so easily destroyed me if he had stayed. Although it hurts, I say thank you God for looking out for me. I just wanted you to know that a woman in South Carolina has begun to heal because of you allowing God to use you in writing the book. — T.H. in South Carolina
Thank you T.H. for your kind words! I’m sorry for your experience, but glad that my book you.
Now, the Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook
In addition to explaining the sociopath, I want to help all of you develop the awareness and internal strength to avoid or escape them.
When sociopaths are on the prowl for a hook-up, they engage in calculated seduction. They probe for our strengths and weaknesses, and then use them to worm their way into our lives. So I also created the Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook, which focuses on you. The Workbook enables you to identify your vulnerabilities before the predators do, so you can recognize when you’re being targeted. Or, if you suspect that you’re already in an exploitative relationship, this workbook helps you figure out how you were seduced, what you need to do to leave, and how to protect yourself so that it never happens again.
The Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook contains a dozen checklists and nearly 50 questions to encourage you to think objectively about your situation. I’ve included space right in the book for you to record your answers and observations. You’ll clarify:
- Personal beliefs that make it hard to recognize an exploiter
- Your traits and needs that make you vulnerable to a sociopath
- Your positive qualities that a sociopath would love to abuse
- The strategies a predator may use to seduce you
- Your reactions to internal warnings, or warnings from others
- Why you may overlook or excuse bad behavior
- How to leave an abusive individual once and for all
A sociopath cannot have an exploitative relationship with you if you don’t cooperate. The Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook helps you fortify your internal defenses so that you can avoid, or escape, a damaging involvement.
The Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook is available EXCLUSIVELY in the Lovefraud Store. A $6.95 value, it is FREE with your purchase of the printed Red Flags of Love Fraud on Lovefraud.com (just pay the shipping cost for an additional book).
If you’ve already purchased the printed Red Flags of Love Fraud, you can request a free copy of the Workbook just pay the shipping and handling. This offer is only available to readers who purchased the book previously in the Lovefraud Store, and your prior purchase will be verified. Offer expires July 15, 2012.
Red Flags of Love Fraud e-book
Finally, Red Flags of Love Fraud is now available as an e-book. In the electronic version, the links to outside reference material are active, so if your device is connected to the Internet, you have immediate access to more in-depth information about sociopaths.
The e-book is available for any device—Kindle, Barnes and Noble Nook, Sony Reader, Apple iPad and iBook, and e-reading applications for your computer. This will be especially helpful for Lovefraud’s readers located outside of the United States, because you can now get the book without paying international shipping costs.
Order your copy of the Red Flags of Love Fraud today! In fact, order one for yourself, and one for a friend or family member who also needs the information!
Lovefraud Store
Printed book, Workbook and e-book in all formats
Amazon.com
Printed book and Kindle e-book
Truthspeak
Behindblueeyes, I think that the “stare” is that there’s no emotional feedback, if that makes any sense. The stare is an actual attempt to gain information. They’re drinking in our facial expressions and the emotional information that they can read in our own eyes. Since they don’t feel, they need to record valuable information, visually.
In retrospect, I can clearly recognize that the second exspath had NO emotional engagement, whatsoever. Okay, think about the most vibrant, jubilant, and delightful human being that YOU know, personally. Now, compare the inner light in their eyes to the spath’s. There’s no comparison, because there IS no “inner light” in the eyes of spaths. Yes, some can …. “make” …. their eyes twinkle, but it’s not connected to other people. It’s usually in reference to some off-color joke or glee in someone else’s misfortune – no true joy or mirth. The first exspath just had very cruel eyes…….very cruel.
And, the connection between sexual deviance and sociopathy cannot be ignored. BOTH exspaths were addicted to pornography and objectification of women. This second exspath WAS into the very, very sick stuff, and was acting out his deviances in group gatherings with people of the same ilk – very expensive gatherings, I must say. And, the level of violence and torture still makes me physically nauseous to recall it.
As an aside, my personal sexuality has been damaged beyond repair, I’m afraid, as a result of the discoveries about the the second exspath. UGH…..
Ana
Hello,
Since the spath that I once knew was a woman ‘friend’ I wonder; do women spaths have that same addiction to porn the male spaths have? I know she has a couple of short relationships in a row, but have no knowledge if she was into porn. Who knows with these creeps.
Louise
Ana:
I don’t know if the women are addicted to porn, but I know the one I was entangled with was very “sexual.” Always flirting, always had her boobs hanging out…would never wear a shirt that wasn’t revealing. All the men were after her because they knew what she was like…she exuded sexual energy.
behind_blue_eyes
Truth;
I agree, in retrospect, regarding their stare is to gain information. First, from a distance, it is about physical attraction — simple yes or no. Then, close up, to learn about you, so as how to manipulate you.
Yes, there is no sparkle about true emotion or interests, because other than sex, money and control, they have none.
Lastly, I believe that sexual deviance among sociopaths is so common, it is defining, much the same way as cutting iis to borderline personality disorder.
behind_blue_eyes
Ana;
Understanding gay people is difficult because of certain conundrums. For example, while physical homosexual characteristics tend to be “hyper-masculine” — gay men have higher T levels, larger penises, at least one trait is hypo-masculine — larger hypothalamus and perhaps even auditory traits more female. In addition, on standardized tests, gays tend to score between male and female.
This could imply that lesbians might be attracted to porn than straight women. Let me see if there are any studies.
behind_blue_eyes
Ana;
I could not find any studies on lesbians and porn — that might be a good thing!
Ana
Thanks Louise, I appreciate your input.
BBE; she wasn’t a lesbian as far as I know…and neither am I. I am married to a man.
Hmm… Makes me wonder about that porn addiction with women spaths. Thanks for checking!
behind_blue_eyes
Opps, sorry Ana I misread your comment.
Ana
BBE,
Thanks for checking. I’m still curious about that though.
My husband says she is deviant criminal. I must agree. I can’t imagine what it was like for those poor men to have encountered her..UGH! They prolly ran for their lives…<3
kim frederick
My guess, and only a guess is that spath women DO NOT have the same propensity to use pornography that male spath’s do, because women, in general are not as visually stimulated as men are. Furthermore, most porn is fashioned for the male point of view…ie, the male is in control, (again, just a guess. I’m sure there is some porn out there that features dominitrex’s and such). I would think that the female spath would be very seductive and use her sexuality as a means of gaining control.