Today, my new book, Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, becomes available on Amazon.com and through all other distribution channels.
This book reveals, for the first time, the tactics of social predators who pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. It explains how sociopaths seduce their targets, why it’s hard to escape the relationships, and how people can protect themselves.
Of course, Red Flags of Love Fraud has been available in the Lovefraud Store for several months, and many of you have written to me to say that it precisely describes your experience. Here is one of your letters:
I stumbled across your site in 12/2011 ”¨while Googling the words “pathological liar.” I was Googling those words because the guy I married on 12/16/11 abandoned me on 12/29/11, just 13 days later, all while leaving a trail a lies. The article “10 signs the guy you’re dating is a sociopath” popped up and I read it with my mouth wide open screaming, “Oh my gosh, this describes him exactly!”
I ordered your book with the same title and it has helped me gain understanding and closure. I have spent countless hours trying to figure out what happened, until I read your book. He literally used to say some of the exact phrases you used in the book. The hardest thing and the most helpful thing I’ve had to do is accept that the guy I knew and loved never existed.
I cut all forms of communication back in February. That also has helped me a lot. I’ve since found out that he was addicted to drugs and he stole jewelry from me when he left. I now realize that I should be happy he left me because he could have so easily destroyed me if he had stayed. Although it hurts, I say thank you God for looking out for me. I just wanted you to know that a woman in South Carolina has begun to heal because of you allowing God to use you in writing the book. — T.H. in South Carolina
Thank you T.H. for your kind words! I’m sorry for your experience, but glad that my book you.
Now, the Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook
In addition to explaining the sociopath, I want to help all of you develop the awareness and internal strength to avoid or escape them.
When sociopaths are on the prowl for a hook-up, they engage in calculated seduction. They probe for our strengths and weaknesses, and then use them to worm their way into our lives. So I also created the Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook, which focuses on you. The Workbook enables you to identify your vulnerabilities before the predators do, so you can recognize when you’re being targeted. Or, if you suspect that you’re already in an exploitative relationship, this workbook helps you figure out how you were seduced, what you need to do to leave, and how to protect yourself so that it never happens again.
The Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook contains a dozen checklists and nearly 50 questions to encourage you to think objectively about your situation. I’ve included space right in the book for you to record your answers and observations. You’ll clarify:
- Personal beliefs that make it hard to recognize an exploiter
- Your traits and needs that make you vulnerable to a sociopath
- Your positive qualities that a sociopath would love to abuse
- The strategies a predator may use to seduce you
- Your reactions to internal warnings, or warnings from others
- Why you may overlook or excuse bad behavior
- How to leave an abusive individual once and for all
A sociopath cannot have an exploitative relationship with you if you don’t cooperate. The Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook helps you fortify your internal defenses so that you can avoid, or escape, a damaging involvement.
The Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook is available EXCLUSIVELY in the Lovefraud Store. A $6.95 value, it is FREE with your purchase of the printed Red Flags of Love Fraud on Lovefraud.com (just pay the shipping cost for an additional book).
If you’ve already purchased the printed Red Flags of Love Fraud, you can request a free copy of the Workbook just pay the shipping and handling. This offer is only available to readers who purchased the book previously in the Lovefraud Store, and your prior purchase will be verified. Offer expires July 15, 2012.
Red Flags of Love Fraud e-book
Finally, Red Flags of Love Fraud is now available as an e-book. In the electronic version, the links to outside reference material are active, so if your device is connected to the Internet, you have immediate access to more in-depth information about sociopaths.
The e-book is available for any device—Kindle, Barnes and Noble Nook, Sony Reader, Apple iPad and iBook, and e-reading applications for your computer. This will be especially helpful for Lovefraud’s readers located outside of the United States, because you can now get the book without paying international shipping costs.
Order your copy of the Red Flags of Love Fraud today! In fact, order one for yourself, and one for a friend or family member who also needs the information!
Lovefraud Store
Printed book, Workbook and e-book in all formats
Amazon.com
Printed book and Kindle e-book
Kim,
I heard that porn for women shows men cleaning the house…
works for me. 😆
Skylar……a perfect women’s “porn” would depict a really buff male that endures horrendous PMS, a toxemic pregnancy, and a 20-hour labor/delivery and is cooking, cleaning house, cleaning laundry, making beds, whose body turns into tapioca ALL during the portrayal! LMAO!!!!!!! (guffaw, snort, chortle)
I wanted to write this for a while now, and I have done so personally to Donna already, but I will repeat it. Donna has done major, groundbreaking work for victims and survivors, by creating a list of red flags of spaths and paths in the wild. It is understandable, includes the red flags in the early lovebombing deception phase when the mask is full on, and you can still escape the traumatic d&d.
I owe her my gratitude for creating this blog with daily info as well as commentators. And I owe a lot of gratitude to all of you guys and gals. I’ve always been a person who likes to make up my own mind, whether it’s the opinion of a ‘professional expert’ or that of a ‘expert by experience’… but I value both types of data and anecdotes and info. You’ve all shared your stories and your opinions freely, and yet give others the freedom to think it over, compare, make up their own mind and agree, disagree or say, “I don’t know”.
Nobody here will become suspicious of someone here if they want to call the spath a psychopath or vice versa. Nobody here will accuse you of being devaluing or an enabler or even a downplaying psychopath for not agreeing with the claim that a narcissist must be a psychopath. Nobody here will reject you if you believe there actually are professional experts out there who’re trying their utter best to comprehend the tree destructive personality disorders and might have a reason to make a distinction, even if all three show the same behaviours.
No victim here imo was ever told to go seek another forum simply for using a different name of the disorder, or for god forbid have some faith left in some professionals, nor vice versa when they have no faith at all in them anymore. The sole posters ever rejected here are people who’ve shown themselves to act maliciously, start stirring the pot (and I mean START, I do no mean ‘respond’ to the stirred pot) or who plead understanding for the spaths and blame us.
This community of victims is open minded and has produced valuable practical tactics for victims realizing there are different life situation that prevent a survivor of going full no contact. This is an understanding community, who try to research together. The Grey Rock tactic is such a gem imo for those in need of it. I’m happy I’m in a situation I don’t have to use that tactic at all, but I’m glad it’s out there to refer other people to.
Unfortunately I’ve seen how some other communities perpetuate a victim division, where it’s better not to discuss any opinion regarding who or what is a psychopath and who may not be, because if people do slightly disagree with it or at least come out and say “I’m not totally convinced” they end up being told they’re in the wrong group. How in the hell can a victim be in the “wrong” group of victims? Is’t a victim is a victim is a victim? How can a community claim to be working for solely towards healing when they insist on dividing victims over their beliefs over a subject the ‘experts’ don’t even agree on?
Well THIS community does not perpetuate division. Yes, some people are raw and may feel attacked. They have the freedom to respond and express their hurt and be defensive. Members will comfort them, and yet without necessarily chiding or ousting the other. All in all, this is a ver gentle, understanding community. And we have some superb long term members here, who welcome new survivors and guide us greatly, and yet encourage us to strike out own path. Disagreeing slightly with them sometimes may feel daunting and apprehensive, but not punished.
You all made me feel respected, valued and allowed me to seek my own way through the trees of the forrest with your mass of experiences and insights.
Basically I just want to say that I love you gals and guys!
Darwinsmom…..well said, and you are loved right back, without conditions or judgement.
Brightest blessings to you
“My guess, and only a guess is that spath women DO NOT have the same propensity to use pornography that male spath’s do, because women, in general are not as visually stimulated as men are.”
Kim, this is quite true, which is also a reason why men watch sports. In fact, men are so visual that when watching sports, certain physical changes occur that mimic the actual players, such as eye motion, and testosterone boost with victory…
darwinsmom;
I agree with Truthspeak, very well said. We should all do whatever we can to support Donna.
Darwinsmom,
I’ve been wanting to tell you how much I appreciate your posts too. Since you came here, you’ve always been the voice of reason. More recently, I’ve seen you become more articulate and incisive on the subject of spaths. Often times, you put to words what I’m too disorganized to say.
Thanks for being you and being here.
Kim, I just heard a good one that Milo will appreciate….AMISH porn is a CAR MAGAZINE. LOL And yea, I agree that GIRL PORN is a picture of a man cleaning house. LOL Yep, that’s my idea of something sexy. Never had one that sexy. But who knows, maybe one day! LOL
Thank you, Darwinsmom, what you wrote was lovely.
“All sociopaths lie to the extreme. If someone isn’t lying, he or she is not a sociopath. In the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey, 95 percent of respondents said that the sociopaths they knew were extremely or moderately deceitful.”
I guess that by implication (71 percent of the sexually deceptive group engaged in intense eye contact) those showing intense eye contact would in general be the most deceitful?