Last week, the Josh Powell story exploded in the media. Powell, of Graham, Washington, was supposed to have a supervised visit with his two young sons. Instead, he slammed the door in the face of the social worker, hacked the boys with a hatchet, and then blew up his house. Powell and the two sons died.
I watched three news shows about the tragedy—Dateline on MSNBC, 20/20 on ABC, and Dr. Drew on HLN (Headline News). All of the programs reflected shock, horror and outrage. Dr. Drew Pinsky did actually call Josh Powell a psychopath. But what struck me about the coverage was that this tragedy was almost predictable. All the warning signs were there, if anyone had a complete picture of what was going on, and if appropriate people had known what they were looking at.
The lessons boil down to three: Knowing how to recognize a sociopath, knowing what sociopaths are capable of doing, and acting on intuition.
Josh Powell, the sociopath
Josh Powell clearly exhibited sociopathic behavior. He first came into public view with the disappearance of his wife, Susan, on December 7, 2009. Josh Powell’s ludicrous story was that he left the family home at midnight to take his two sons, aged 2 and 4 at the time, camping in the freezing desert, and when he returned, Susan was gone. He assumed that she went off with another man.
Before then, however, Susan had confided in several friends and family members that Josh was controlling. He was psychologically and emotionally abusive. Susan was asked why she didn’t take the boys and leave. She was afraid to—Josh had threatened that she would have the boys “over my dead body.”
So where did Josh’s sociopathy come from? It appears to be the classic volatile mix of heredity and upbringing.
Last September, Steve Powell, Josh’s father, was arrested and charged with child pornography and voyeurism. Josh and his sons were living with Steve Powell at the time, which prompted the court to take the boys away from Josh and put them in the custody of Susan’s parents, Chuck and Judy Cox.
But that was just the latest, most apparent display of Steven Powell’s personality disorder. Court documents from the 1992 divorce case of Steven and Terrica Powell indicate that Steven Powell had always been a sexual pervert, and taught his sons to disrespect women.
The documents also reveal that at 16, Josh Powell was already heading down the same path. He threatened his mother with a butcher knife. He killed his sister’s pet gerbil. He attempted suicide. And as Josh grew bigger and stronger, even Steven Powell admitted that he didn’t know how to handle his son.
Read: Divorce documents shed light on Josh Powell’s troubles, on SLTrib.com.
Here’s the point: Based on both documentary evidence of the past, and the abusive behavior Susan Powell disclosed to friends and relatives, Josh Powell was clearly a sociopath. It doesn’t matter how he became a sociopath. All that matters is that he was one.
Sociopaths and custody battles
So what does it mean when one party in a child custody battle is a sociopath? Here’s what courts and child protective agencies should know:
• Despite their proclamations to the contrary, sociopaths do not love their children. They view children as possessions, and they feel entitled to do what they want with their possessions.
• Sociopaths are accomplished actors. They are capable of keeping up a charade of appropriate, even loving, behavior, as long as it suits their purpose.
• In child custody disputes, sociopaths are not interested in the welfare of the children. They are only interested in winning.
• If sociopaths have been violent in the past, chances are good that they will be violent in the future.
• Sociopaths do not want to submit to authority. Some sociopaths would rather lash out violently than submit. Therefore, it seems to me that one of the most dangerous times in a child custody case is when a sociopath loses in court.
Losing a round
I don’t know everything that went on in the custody dispute between Josh Powell and Chuck and Judy Cox, the parents of his missing wife. But from the media reports, I see two glaring problems.
First of all, Josh Powell had just lost a round in the custody battle for his sons.
In a status hearing on February 1, 2012, the court was told that a psychologist who completed an evaluation of Josh believed he had made improvements in his life, because he no longer lived in his father’s home and had been cooperative with visitation requirements. Still, the psychologist had become aware of disturbing information about Josh, and had recommended a psychosexual evaluation. The judge ruled that Josh’s sons would remain with the Coxes, and he was ordered to undergo the evaluation, which would include a polygraph test.
Read Josh Powell to undergo psychosexual evaluation; 2 boys will remain with grandparents, on DeseretNews.com.
Yet the court made no changes to the visitation arrangements. Initially, when the Coxes were first awarded custody, Josh had to see his children at a secure childcare facility. But apparently, because of the notoriety of the Powell case, his visits became disruptive to other families, so Josh was allowed to have supervised visits in his home.
And who was the supervisor? She appeared on 20/20. Although she may have been nice, dependable and competent, she was also a middle-aged, out-of shape woman who would have been no match for a young man if things got ugly. Even Chuck Cox worried about her, and stated on TV that perhaps she should have had extra security with her.
Reunification
The second glaring problem in this case: The court’s goal was to reunite the boys with their father.
The judge reaffirmed this goal in the last custody hearing. The case plan developed by Washington’s Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS) was geared towards reunification of Josh Powell and his sons.
The question is: Why?
Josh Powell was the only “person of interest” in the disappearance of Susan Powell. Rumors were flying that he would soon be arrested for her murder. Josh was known to be abusive. Police in Utah had found disturbing information about him that caused them concern about the welfare of the children. The man was likely dangerous.
DSHS representatives were interviewed by Dori Monson of KIRO-FM radio in Seattle, Washington. They defended their actions and procedures. The bottom line? They were following court orders. Listen to the interview:
[mp3j track=”http://icestream.bonnint.net/seattle/kiro/2012/02/02092012141232_1.mp3″]The main problem, at least in this case, appears to be that judges don’t comprehend how dangerous sociopaths can be, and how court decisions can turn deadly.
Intuition
Many warnings were available in this case, but were not recognized and acted upon. Perhaps the biggest warnings were the gut feelings, the sense of dread, the intuitive fear, experienced by many, many people.
In the TV interviews, several friends and relatives of Susan Powell described being creeped out about Josh Powell. And both Judy and Chuck Cox, the grandparents, said that they had “bad feelings” before that last fateful visitation. Chuck wondered that perhaps the visit should be skipped. Judy felt the same way, but was worried that they’d “get in trouble” if they didn’t send the boys to their father.
Even the two boys didn’t want to see their father on February 5, 2012. But the grandparents did what they thought they should do. The boys went to see their father, and we all know what happened next.
I am not blaming the grandparents at all. They are heartbroken. But perhaps they should have risked “getting in trouble” and kept the boys home. I’m sure they wish they did.
Here’s what we all need to know: Our intuition is designed to protect us. Fear is our friend, and it is based on intuition. If we ever have a really bad feeling about anyone or anything, we should trust ourselves and take appropriate action to get away.
If the court really knew what sociopaths were capable of, and if many people had listened to their instincts, those boys might still be alive.
More about the case
Watch:
A family’s story on Dateline NBC
Steve Downing, the lawyer for Chuck and Judy Cox, talked to local media about his impressions of Josh Powell. He is obviously describing a sociopath.
[youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/FQhz_aVTnow] [youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/lSOP4hOXPb4]
Dear Duped~ oh my God, I’m so sorry to hear about what you have been through. I have a habit of jumping into the comments without reading too far back, but I am just heart sick hearing about your grandson.
I knew you had an ex spath, but this monster in jail makes me want to scream, “what the hell is wrong with these subhuman low-lifes?!”
I admire your strength and that you have not lost your faith. I’m sure your daughter gets her strength from you. God bless you and your family.
woundlicker: Thank you for your condolences.
It was like a ‘surreal’ time in our lives. Like it wasn’t happening.
Yes, I do have an ex spath…you are right, though: this monster in jail he is a ‘different category’ than the ppath…evil in a different style and brand.
Thanks for the uplifting remarks: “I’m sure your daughter gets her strength from you.”…..no, without a doubt, I get mine from her.
God bless you too, woundlicker: may your sadness and your horrid time just fly away and leave you found enjoying your life, without looking back…
Dupey
xxoo
FooledmeOnce:
That is not true what you wrote about the Texas Republicans. I don’t know what your source is but I do know what is written in the platform, and what it says is that the government can’t tell parents how to raise their kids. It appears that someone has played you, interpreting meaning NOT said, not thought, and NEVER intended.
Dupey,
I am so sad for how you gained your expertise. I imagine your anniversary and birthdates, honoring your wee grandson and still feeling the pain and grief.
The military did not MAKE them into baby killers. SOME people joined the military BECAUSE of who they are, they wanted to be able to kill. Similar to my spath x!husband, these types finetune their pathologies, learning how to get better at their chosen forms of abuse. I suspect your grandboy’s murderer has done that before while at war, and expected to get away with it again.
I saw the initial interview with Josh Powell and read peoples reactions. They felt sorry for him, thought he seemed confused, thought he was too passive to ever hurt his wife, clearly loved his boys, etc. I did not share their assessment. I thought he was NOT confused, he was AVOIDANT, he was NOT passive, He was DEFLECTING, and that he did not love his boys, they were his COVER. Am so sick at my stomach to be right. I wish they’d do a newstory about this group of LF members who have a different perspective than most Americans. B/c for the most part, we DO see things differently, question Differently, have different conclusions.
My x!husband says he’s shy. And to NORMAL people, his reluctance to share SEEMS to fit his explanation. Only I and my daughter knows that he goes home and at the dinner table, would regale us with examples of how he fooled so and so that day. Part of my x!husbands rage at me was how I did not support him. And the community would agree how wrong that was that a wife would not support her husband. But he left out WHAT I refused to support him about…. the duping of citizens, the ridiculing of GOOD honest people, the fraud done to lonely senior citizens. My husband’s shy awshucks demeanor LOOKS like he wouldn’t hurt a fly, but it’s a ruse. I thought the SAME about Josh Powell, his passive looks too wussy to ever hurt a fly was a RUSE, b/c if he LOVED his wife as he said, a shy man would be going crazy to find that precious woman, NOT ridiculing her for being “sexy” (his wtf tell).
Sorry, off on a tangent. All to say, I am so sad for your loss and also sad that we can imagine it all too real. And I am also SO PROUD of those folks who bought those cemetary plots so that monster could not gain in death what he took in life.
Dupey, I hope you are able to contact the grandparents. They need the special consolation (if there is such a thing) that only you can share.
All my best
Katy
KatyDid: Thank you for your understanding and caring…
Yes, I know the military didn’t turn them into baby killers…they had this predisposition to begin with. Yes, anniversaries and birthdates, etc., are still very difficult and probably always will be.
Yes, these types do fine tune their methods and pathologies…they keep honing their people user skills over and over again, until they feel ‘perfected’ enough that they get right back out there and start it all over again, unless, as is the case, with the psycho who murdered my grandson…SOMETIMES they DO go away for a long, long time….
Yes, I was very proud of the community who shared in our grief and sorrow and stood up and made a LOUD statement. Very proud of them and the support they gave to me and my family.
Thanks, KatyDid, for the hugs ~ back at ya!!!
Dupey
Dupey
I write the words but it’s not enough. I feel so inadequate, I want to be there for you but what could possibly ever make such a horrid nightmare better, and the catch-22: making you feel “better” isn’t the solution. Perhaps all I can offer is stand with you and be one of the multitude that name the wrong done as EVIL.
Katy
Dupey
ps LOVE your term and am going to steal it. My spath did not have fantastic PEOPLE skills, he has fantastic “People USER Skills”. BRAVO.
Dupey,
You are such an inspiration – a courageous woman.
I can’t imagine losing one of my boys as you did your little grandson. I am so sorry.
I admire you. You continue to be here for us and support us through our disbelief, anger and denial all the time having grieved an incalculable loss.
God bless you. God bless your daughter.
I hope you are able to visit her soon.
Thank you for your wise and compassionate heart.
Shelley
Shelley: Your post made me cry.
I am so honored you say these things about me.
I am speechless.
The one thing I want, more than anything in the world, is that before I die, I make ONE CHANGE. Just one. I want to make a change in the horrible atrocities we all have come through that needs and begs and deserves to be made right.
I don’t want to die thinking there is this much sadness and sorrow in the world. I suppose accepting there IS is just another part of growing up and smelling the coffee; hm? But, because I understand some, doesn’t mean I ‘like’ it because I don’t and I never will.
Things happen in our lives for a reason. I believe that is true. Just like I believe in karma and divine interventions. I have heard people shout, before: “Oh God, why me?!” It’s not GOD making the bad things happen…it’s someone else…
Once you recognize the existence of evil you are better able to defend yourself against it. Hiding under the bed, closing our eyes and hoping it will just go away doesn’t make it go away. You have to battle it and stand your ground. I am just the kind of person who never backs down from a threatening situation. Imagine that!?? You can see now, WHY the x ppath and I never would EVER have made a ‘cute couple’ because I don’t live that way…I am not a people user and a people abuser.
You know what justification I got from “IT”? When I said to “IT”: “You know, what you and your girlfriend did to me was wrong, you know that; right?” THE ONLY JUSTIFICATION OR RECOGNITION I HAVE EVER GOTTEN FROM “IT” was a reply of: “Right”. Nothing further.
I have to smile, as I am sitting here writing this, because it was with THAT remark, I have successfully grey rocked the ppath away under his own volition!!!! YAY!!!!! So, everyone have a drink on me this evening and try to see all the wonderful and beautiful and happy things in this life, will ya? There are lots! We have time now to find those things, don’t waste it on someone like these horrid people have been in our lives. I am telling you: flick them off your shoulder like the pigeon excrement they are!!!! And, don’t look back. Life is way too short.
Blessings to you Dear Shelley: I will remember you in my thoughts and prayers. Your compliments have overwhelmed me because NOBODY ever says those things to me. Not ever.
I thank you for your graciousness, Shelley.
Dupey
Dupey
What particular state did all this happen in?
Athena
It happened in the State of xxxx, Athena.
(Omitted for anonymity reasons)
It shocked the whole state, at the time….
Our lives were barraged and intruded upon by media and it was very upsetting when we just wanted to grieve and not answer phone calls nor be followed around with microphones in our faces.
As they were lowering my Grandson into the grave, they almost dropped him and I jumped and caught him and I was there in that hole…I caught him and I laid him down…
NOBODY will ever know what that moment was like.
Everyone thought I would try to kill him for what he did.
People asked me if I thought he deserved to die for what he did. It was my response and my wish that no, he not die. Dying was too easy for him. He needs to spend the rest of his natural life in a place so horrid that even the rats won’t live there.
They had him in a maximum security prison, to start with, which is where he belongs, truly. But because he was taken to the brink of death so many times in that prison, the state didn’t want to be ‘liable’ for his death, while in custody, so they transferred him to a minimum security boot camp where he has his own little apartment and television and the state taxpayers are paying for his college education. He gets to leave the confines of his cell and go outdoors everyday and grows a garden.
And, yes, he could escape very easily from this ‘boot camp’. And to think of all those other children living in the area, well, it’s just not a real good thing. He needs to go right back to where he hates being so much.
THAT is justification.
Dying is way too easy.
Dupey