Like most of the United States, all of us at Lovefraud were horrified by the sordid story of child sexual abuse that emerged from Penn State University last week. Unlike most of the United States, we probably weren’t surprised.
That’s because all of us at Lovefraud have learned a very difficult lesson that millions of other people have not learned. This is the lesson: Evil exists.
For most of us, however, there was a time before the lesson. At that time we didn’t know evil existed—let alone what it looked like or what to do about it. So at that time, we were vulnerable to the sociopaths.
The sociopaths came into our lives, showering us with affection and maybe gifts, asking about our dreams and promising to make them come true. Kind of like the way Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State assistant football coach, treated some of the young boys from his Second Mile organization for disadvantaged youths.
Then, after a period of time, we glimpsed inappropriate or immoral behavior from the sociopath. Perhaps it was directed towards someone else. Perhaps it was directed toward us. In any event, we were shocked.
Did we really see what we thought we saw? Did that person, who we always thought was so wonderful, who had been treating us like gold, really do that? It’s so out of character. It can’t be true.
Kind of like the reaction many people probably had towards allegedly seeing or hearing about Jerry Sandusky abusing young boys.
Complicated issue
Many people at Penn State failed to take appropriate action to stop Sandusky from preying on young boys. All of the following people have been criticized:
- Janitors who knew of an assault
- Mike McQueary, the graduate assistant football coach who witnessed an attack
- The Penn State athletic director and senior vice president, who failed to contact police
- Penn State University President Graham Spanier, himself a family therapist
- The legendary football coach Joe Paterno
But the issue is complicated. I am not making excuses for anyone, but experts say that any decision about what to do in this situation would have been fraught with psychological issues and societal pressures. An excellent article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette raised the following points:
- Did the officials who failed to report feel allegiance to a friend? Did they feel allegiance to Penn State football, or to the university?
- What about the phenomenon of “diffusion of responsibility”? Did everyone think reporting was someone else’s responsibility?
- What about the human brain, which is “remarkably adept at believing what it wants to believe—”and not believing what it doesn’t want to believe?
Read Penn State: Why doing the right thing isn’t as easy as it seems, on Post-Gazette.com.
Teachable moment
So how do we correct the problem? How can people be prepared to respond appropriately when they come face to face with evil? We need awareness, education and training:
- Awareness: Evil exists.
- Education: Evil is not always obvious. Sometimes, it masquerades as goodness.
- Training: When we discover evil, what do we do?
Quite frankly, I think many of the people who could have reported the behavior of Jerry Sandusky were shocked into inaction. They saw or learned something unbelievable. They didn’t know what they saw or learned was possible. Then, with no guidance about what to do in such a situation, they decided there was less personal risk in doing nothing, or doing the minimal, or soft peddling what they learned, in case they were wrong.
Make no mistake: Doing the right thing in this situation involved enormous personal risk. It was the individual’s word against that of a scion of Penn State football. It was like going up against the church.
Perhaps, in the end, good will come out of this tragedy. What happened at Penn State has provided a teachable moment on a grand scale.
The child sexual abuse scandal has forever tarnished the legacy of the legendary Joe Paterno and the storied Penn State football team. It is a lesson of what can happen when people fail to do the right thing. The sudden and drastic downfall may be just what is needed to help people faced with similar situations in the future take the personal risk and go to the right authorities.
Doing nothing may be safe in the short term, but perilous in the long term. If Joe Paterno can be ruined by not doing enough, anyone can be ruined.
A free range snake. ha ha ha ha. A snake roaming free in your house would eat your cat.
Here’s an interesting link from the UK
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2064588/What-OUR-human-rights-Victims-Americas-wanted-paedophiles-hit-laws-prevent-deportation-Britain.html
I also watched the new Rock Center news show last night and there was interesting stuff about the Penn State thing as well. More about how the school seemingly was willing to cover up in order to protect “the program” and the huge amounts of MONEY it brought into the school. They interviewed some of the professors (there are 6,000 professors there) and there were “rumors” about Sandusky and him being creepy with the kids, so this is not something that NO ONE knew about….and actually, he still had an office and a phone at the college until last month.
They also had a young man on there who denied “as far as he could remember” that Sandusky did anything sexual with him over their 6 year relationship except that when they were driving, Sandusky would keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on the boy’s leg, the boy told his mom he didn’t feel “comfortable” around Sandusky, and when he withdrew from continual contact with Sandusky, he was literally stalked by Sandusky…the young man kept saying “as far as I can remember” and the interviewer asked him what he meant by saying that….the entire interview was sort of creepy.
RE: Oxy’s link:
awwww. his rights ‘to be a family man’. see now, if a pedophile just has a family and children to love, they won’t be pedophiles anymore. win win right?!! just like if we allowed priests to marry, they wouldn’t be pedophiles either!
Sandusky was/is married isn’t he? Wonder why he was doing little boys? Maybe it was because his wife wouldn’t give him “any.” I’m sure it must be HER FAULT.
Yep Married. But we all know the only reason men cheat is b/c they aren’t getting enough at home. Maybe she lost her boyish figure?
Sandusky has been married since the 60s…a LONG time. I read that he and his wife weren’t able to have children and that’s why they adopted. Why they couldn’t have them I don’t know. I doubt if he is having sex with her; he probably never did.
Louise, Yea, that would give him carte blanche to pick out which kids he wanted (was attracted to) and I think they adopted 5 boys and 1 girl. Apparently the kids deny he ever abused them, but you know I find it difficult to believe that there was NO abuse in that home…even if not sexual, I think there would have been some form of abuse from someone as seemingly narcissistic and self centered as Sandusky.
The kid that was interviewed last night that “couldn’t remember” any sexual abuse, yet felt “uncomfortable” around Sandusky, said that Sandusky volunteered to coach his team though his school was 30 miles away from where Sandusky lived, and with 6 kids at home and a coaching job, and the charity etc I wonder how Sandusky had TIME enough to devote so MUCH TIME to this kid and apparently the “relationship” was very close for 6 years until the kid started trying to distance himself from Sandusky.
There is just something about this whole relationship with this kid that the kid’s testimony doesn’t “ring true” with me. His frequent use of “not that I recall” instead of saying “NO, there was no sexual abuse” is somehow a TELL to me that there is SOMETHING NOT RIGHT with this kid’s memory….and there is something that was NOT RIGHT with that relationship with Sandusky.
Also, if someone is a total pedophile with young boys as a preference over a long period of time, and he had 5 adopted kids, then there was something also going on in that home that was not “healthy” one way or another. Some of these kids were adopted at older ages too, not as infants, which makes me raise my eyebrows about the motives for the adoptions.
Oxy:
I totally agree with you. It’s ironic he adopted five boys and only one girl. Even though the kids are denying he ever sexually abused them, I don’t believe it. They aren’t going to tell on their “dad.” And that other kid you are talking about…there is no doubt in my mind something went on there. Everyone is just too afraid to spill it. Geez, I wish WE could control the world…it would be perfect then! 🙂
Well, Louise I once thought I knew the answers to everything (I think I was 15 to 18 years old when I knew everything!) Now I not only don’t know all the answers, I don’t know all the questions! LOL
I am learning though that if it smells like dead fish it probably IS DEAD FISH. I think there is a BIG stink around Sandusky, and EVERYTHING he touched, and Papa Joe may have been a “great football coach” but I think he proved that football was more important to him than the welfare of kids being molested by Sandusky. I don’t care how many good things Joe did when he wasn’t protecting pedophiles, but the point is that is like saying “He’s a great guy when he isn’t raping kids” about Sandusky, or saying “He’s a great guy when he isn’t killing people” about Ted Bundy.
Louise
This hurts me b/c it seems gossipy and voyeuristic to me….
Try to think of it from their perspective:
For adopted children, they typically have that stigma of feeling they were so unwanted, something in them was so defective, that both the parents dumped them, abandoned them.
For an adopted child to realized that the adoptive parent NEVER wanted them either, just USED them like a thing… that’s a might powerful burden. And that they weren’t the “special one” but that he had LOTS and LOTS of others… omg. omg. omg.