• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths – narcissists in relationships

How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars

Lessons from the Penn State scandal

You are here: Home / Explaining the sociopath / Lessons from the Penn State scandal

November 14, 2011 //  by Donna Andersen//  155 Comments

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

Like most of the United States, all of us at Lovefraud were horrified by the sordid story of child sexual abuse that emerged from Penn State University last week. Unlike most of the United States, we probably weren’t surprised.

That’s because all of us at Lovefraud have learned a very difficult lesson that millions of other people have not learned. This is the lesson: Evil exists.

For most of us, however, there was a time before the lesson. At that time we didn’t know evil existed—let alone what it looked like or what to do about it. So at that time, we were vulnerable to the sociopaths.

The sociopaths came into our lives, showering us with affection and maybe gifts, asking about our dreams and promising to make them come true. Kind of like the way Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State assistant football coach, treated some of the young boys from his Second Mile organization for disadvantaged youths.

Then, after a period of time, we glimpsed inappropriate or immoral behavior from the sociopath. Perhaps it was directed towards someone else. Perhaps it was directed toward us. In any event, we were shocked.

Did we really see what we thought we saw? Did that person, who we always thought was so wonderful, who had been treating us like gold, really do that? It’s so out of character. It can’t be true.

Kind of like the reaction many people probably had towards allegedly seeing or hearing about Jerry Sandusky abusing young boys.

Complicated issue

Many people at Penn State failed to take appropriate action to stop Sandusky from preying on young boys. All of the following people have been criticized:

  • Janitors who knew of an assault
  • Mike McQueary, the graduate assistant football coach who witnessed an attack
  • The Penn State athletic director and senior vice president, who failed to contact police
  • Penn State University President Graham Spanier, himself a family therapist
  • The legendary football coach Joe Paterno

But the issue is complicated. I am not making excuses for anyone, but experts say that any decision about what to do in this situation would have been fraught with psychological issues and societal pressures. An excellent article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette raised the following points:

  • Did the officials who failed to report feel allegiance to a friend? Did they feel allegiance to Penn State football, or to the university?
  • What about the phenomenon of “diffusion of responsibility”? Did everyone think reporting was someone else’s responsibility?
  • What about the human brain, which is “remarkably adept at believing what it wants to believe—”and not believing what it doesn’t want to believe?

Read Penn State: Why doing the right thing isn’t as easy as it seems, on Post-Gazette.com.

Teachable moment

So how do we correct the problem? How can people be prepared to respond appropriately when they come face to face with evil? We need awareness, education and training:

  • Awareness: Evil exists.
  • Education: Evil is not always obvious. Sometimes, it masquerades as goodness.
  • Training: When we discover evil, what do we do?

Quite frankly, I think many of the people who could have reported the behavior of Jerry Sandusky were shocked into inaction. They saw or learned something unbelievable. They didn’t know what they saw or learned was possible. Then, with no guidance about what to do in such a situation, they decided there was less personal risk in doing nothing, or doing the minimal, or soft peddling what they learned, in case they were wrong.

Make no mistake: Doing the right thing in this situation involved enormous personal risk. It was the individual’s word against that of a scion of Penn State football. It was like going up against the church.

Perhaps, in the end, good will come out of this tragedy. What happened at Penn State has provided a teachable moment on a grand scale.

The child sexual abuse scandal has forever tarnished the legacy of the legendary Joe Paterno and the storied Penn State football team. It is a lesson of what can happen when people fail to do the right thing. The sudden and drastic downfall may be just what is needed to help people faced with similar situations in the future take the personal risk and go to the right authorities.

Doing nothing may be safe in the short term, but perilous in the long term. If Joe Paterno can be ruined by not doing enough, anyone can be ruined.

Category: Explaining the sociopath

Previous Post: « The manipulative man interview
Next Post: Sociopaths Can Only Talk The Walk »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Ox Drover

    December 20, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    BBE, the latest thing now is that he was showing the boys how to shower and clean themselves! Yea, right!!!!!

    Log in to Reply
  2. behind_blue_eyes

    December 20, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    Ox;

    PMSL.

    Log in to Reply
  3. Ox Drover

    December 20, 2011 at 11:27 pm

    BBE, I’m not sure what PMSL is.

    Log in to Reply
  4. behind_blue_eyes

    December 20, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    Peeing Myself Laughing.

    Somebody should scam Sandusky’s lawyer with that excuse?

    “I was thinking a lot about this case and it seems to me that your client might simply be a victim of misunderstanding and wasjust showing these fatherless boys proper hygiene.”

    Log in to Reply
  5. MoonDancer

    December 21, 2011 at 12:01 am

    *

    Log in to Reply
  6. Ox Drover

    December 21, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    Here’s a great article on how APATHY in bystanders and others has helped fuel the criminal’s successes

    http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2011/12/13/apathy-assistant-coach-child-sexual-abuse/?intcmp=obnetwork

    Log in to Reply
  7. behind_blue_eyes

    December 21, 2011 at 6:32 pm

    Ox;

    The apathy extends beyond these case. Society looks the other way to doping at all levels, with leagues intentionally setting up minimal drug screen programs that only an idiot would fail.

    The NHL, despite growing evidence that head trauma is more easily inflicted than previously thought, refuses to reign in fighting, with Commissioner Bettman even staying that “fans expect some level of violence…”

    We are a country that can’t even accept that driving is a serious activity and should not be distracted by texting…

    Log in to Reply
  8. behind_blue_eyes

    December 21, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    Interesting that at the same time child molesters are coddled, we have politicians debating which one of them takes a tough stand against gay marriage …

    Log in to Reply
  9. Ox Drover

    December 21, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    BBE, like all OTHER psychopaths, politicians are like magicians and they DISTRACT us from the real action by focusing our attention on something that has nothing to do with what is REALLY going on. LOL

    Log in to Reply
  10. behind_blue_eyes

    December 21, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    Ox;

    That they do, to distract us from the fact that for 30 years they collectively had led this country astray.

    Log in to Reply
« Older Comments
Newer Comments »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Primary Sidebar

Shortcuts to Lovefraud information

Shortcuts to the Lovefraud information you're looking for:

Explaining everyday sociopaths

Is your partner a sociopath?

How to leave or divorce a sociopath

Recovery from a sociopath

Senior Sociopaths

Love Fraud - Donna Andersen's story

Share your story and help change the world

Lovefraud Blog categories

  • Explaining sociopaths
    • Female sociopaths
    • Scientific research
    • Workplace sociopaths
    • Book reviews
  • Seduced by a sociopath
    • Targeted Teens and 20s
  • Sociopaths and family
    • Law and court
  • Recovery from a sociopath
    • Spiritual and energetic recovery
    • For children of sociopaths
    • For parents of sociopaths
  • Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales
    • Media sociopaths
  • Lovefraud Continuing Education

Footer

Inside Lovefraud

  • Author profiles
  • Blog categories
  • Post archives by year
  • Media coverage
  • Press releases
  • Visitor agreement

Your Lovefraud

  • Register for Lovefraud.com
  • Sign up for the Lovefraud Newsletter
  • How to comment
  • Guidelines for comments
  • Become a Lovefraud CE Affiliate
  • Lovefraud Affiliate Dashboard
  • Contact Lovefraud
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2026 Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Mai Theme