Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader in Australia who we’ll call “Lana.” All of the names below are pseudonyms.
Everything had been quite on the Spath front for a while. But I have worked out over the past 3 years there is always something lurking, ready to rear its ugly head especially when there are children involved.
Two weeks ago I received a call from Gary, a man that my ex-husband (Steve, the spath) worked for a year ago and ripped off. Gary knew where I was working, and being in the same industry, knew my boss. He asked my boss if I could call him a few months ago and we have been in touch since. Gary told me Steve had constantly made threats on my life etc, and he would be prepared to make a statement if I were to ever require a AVO which he advised, as he was very unnerved by Steve’s constant rants. Greg phoned me again two weeks ago he told me an acquaintance went to work for Steve and he had to leave because of the abuse the staff had to witness between Steve and the current girlfriend Nicole.
We have recently moved house and Jasmine, Steve’s eldest daughter, was going to come over and visit her half-sister Emme, now 3 1/2. Emme was not well and something in my gut kept stopping me from having Jasmine visit and giving her my address, which she asked for 3 times that morning. Being now 18 and with a car, Jasmine was looking forward to developing a relationship with Emme and I thought that it would be a wonderful idea as Emme is very close to Steve’s other daughter Ally.
Steve has had no contact with any of his three daughters for over 2 years.
Concern about Jasmine
A few days ago I received a message from Jasmine’s Aunty Lisa. She was really concerned as Jasmine has been in contact with her father, and her own mother was not even aware of this. Jasmine had not seen Steve for 2 years, the last time being when they were at the holiday cabin. He threw her against a wall and his then girlfriend stopped him from punching her in the face. He then locked her in the cabin for 2 days and the then girlfriend bought her in food and water before she was taken home for being disobedient. That was the last time she had spoken to him until recently.
Aunty Lisa is a acquaintance of mine but her sister Di, Jasmine’s Mother, is not, as she sided with Steve when we separated (Di has never been with another man for 18 years after Steve left her and has always been under his spell) until recently, I hear.
Lisa is very worried about Jasmine, as I am. When Lisa told me they were in contact, instantly all those old emotions of fear and anxiety came flooding back. I am fearful of Steve and have gone to every length to protect Emme from him. I have a close relationship with Ally and her mother, Jane, and both of us have gone to court to get full custody and to have the girls surnames changed. We have both moved and changed our numbers, all to protect the safety of our girls, and their safety is paramount. With Jasmine now seeing her father, sadly, we see as a direct threat. Jane deleted her off Facebook so Steve can’t see into her world through Jasmine, and I have also now done the same.
I wrote a message to Jasmine, which is below. The messages are hers and my responses. Although we were very close, I have not been particularly close to her since I left Steve; although we have been in constant contact, we have only physically seen her twice in 3 years. What surprised me most are her responses. It appeared like it is a game. I texted her Aunty Lisa and said I am concerned about her motives, and think she may have a bit of her father in her. Lisa’s response was:
Um hello Lana! She has been on Facebook for 3 years and Di still swears black and blue she isn’t. I luv Jasmine 2 pieces but she is a convincing liar and there is a lot of mischief she gets up too.
Jasmine and Lisa are very close and she is more honest with her than her own mother.
Email exchange
I have changed the names on the messages below but not the text. I wanted to highlight when there are children involved from a spath, you never feel free from them. My letters are in italics and Jasmine’s responses are in regular type.
Do I trust the eldest daughter???
Is she genetically disordered?????
Or am I being over the top because of my own fears??
My gut says, never give him the benefit of the doubt.
But is this about Jasmine or Steve or now both????
Hey J!
Dont be angry at Lisa but she had thought I knew you had seen your dad the way I made mention on the topic. Jaz I want you to know I dont know your reasons for this but understand your Dad is manipulative and could have ulterior motives for seeing you. He is not capable of love, as hard as it is to understand, it is all acting to get what he wants from people. Your Pa has desperately been trying to get Matt (Steve’s brother) to talk to him and I am sure he may have done the same to you. But your dad has lost everyone because he is evil and abusive and his sad stories are all lies to con people. Hunny he is dangerous and he will hurt you again. I worry about you so much. Your Dads mental condition cannot be fixed and I beg you to research what a Sociopath is so you can understand your father and your relationship with him better. I love you and I write this because I care about you. I also write it because I care about myself, Emme, Jane and Ally as well, and he could be getting close to you to find out where we are. Your Dad still makes threats on my life through people, and I cannot afford for you to know where I live, as he could manipulate this information from you. I am happy to catch up with you but maybe we can meet at a Park or somewhere else, I am not sure but I know knowing you are seeing him I don’t feel safe and I don’t think you are safe either. Your father has been screaming at Nicole and she is abused by your father, say co workers, his patterns will never change and I feel for her and for anyone that meets him. I beg you to not tell him anything about us, he has started paying maintenance for Emme & Ally and I don’t trust his motives, but one thing I know he will never see Emme because he is the sort of person that would kill her to get back at me for leaving him. I believe he is getting worse with age and I absolutely believe he is dangerous. Stay safe. Love Lana xxxx
well i saw him once”¦ At xmas eve and nothing comes up about you”¦ I dont mention anything and neither does he”¦ I keep it separate because i want to be in my sisters life”¦ And aunty Lisa has no right to talk about that and Im very angry”¦ Because she has just ruined my relationship that I may have with my little sister!! Never u mind”¦ I no my father and I no he doesnt love and i no i still dont tell him anything and i dont fall for what he says so im playing on that”¦”¦ And to b honest i dont believe anything in what goes on in anyones life”¦ I dont trust easy again soo im safe and i dont ever plan and spilling anything to him on u so”¦ Yeah ”¦ Yeah u to
jaz xo
Dear Jaz,
Thanks for getting back to me. You will always be part of Emme’s life if you choose too, she is your sister and she loves you even tho you have not played a large part in her life she knows exactly who you are and loves you as I do too. Lisa is really worried she didn’t mean to say anything! Steve hurts everyone that comes into his life and will continue to hurt the ones that keep giving him another chance. He will con you, promise you things and then let you down again and again. I am sorry if above read like I didn’t want you in our lives that is not what I meant. I trust that you wouldn’t say anything knowingly but I dont trust him at all. Myself and Jane included never want him to know where the girls are, were they will be going to school, anything… That cruel heartless bastard can rot in hell for all I care and he will never meet the daughter he so happily told everyone she wasn’t his so people would feel sorry for him the sick fark. I hate him for all the horrible things he has done to us all and I will never give him a chance to be in Emme’s life to con her or hurt her!
Jaz I have had someone from Werribee get in contact saying that I should put an AVO out on him as he wants to kill me because someone needs to bring up Emme, like he would do a much better job than me. Anyway I hope you understand why I need to be so protective of my privacy. The guy is a dead set loser and will only be in touch with you because he wants something. No normal man has nothing to do with his children and it is important that from the outside that he appears normal to con people less they will think he is not right in the head, that is why he could be trying to see you, so it makes him look better not because he loves you, misses you and cares for your well being. If you still want to catch up maybe next weekend that is fine! but you not knowing where we are is also to protect you too as if anything happened I would hate to know he found out through you. Just dont even leave your phone alone for 2 seconds near him or change my name in your phone just in case. Trust me he has ulterior motives to wanting to see you, like he did to Matt a couple of years ago because he wanted Pa and Gran to believe that he was normal to get more money off them and look how that turned out. I was there when he had a massive fight with Matt and it was sickening, it was also the same day he bashed me whilst holding Emme and was also the day I knew he was capable of anything and I had to run”¦ Dont be angry at Lisa because she hasnt ruined your relationship with your sister, she is just worried sick about you and for very good reason;
Love Lanaxxx
fair call”¦”¦ Well i wont trust him ever”¦”¦ And im playing the same game he is but on the other side putting it right back at him if u no what i mean lol!! Ahh yeah sure next weekend should be ok is it ok if Aiden my new boyfriend comes still?? Anyway i dont tell him anything about my life!!
Miss you xxxx
Would love to meet Aiden that would be great! I am sorry but the whole thing makes me want to vomit….
Miss you too xxxx
Oh BTW your dad wont ask anything yet as he needs to build his trust with you, that is always the game plan and you cant play the same game with him as he has 20 + years more of deception and he will already be 10 steps ahead of you. His number one priority in his normal game plan as to let you trust him and as soon as your guard is down that is when he starts to manipulate. Take care he is not after your best interests he is after something else! xxxxxxxxxx
i know….. Ppl say im playing with fire but im gonna play his own game and make sure i win”¦ Im always thinking ahead”¦ 🙂 im only looking out for myself 🙂 well shall we next week”¦”¦ At lilydale lake? If its fine? Xxxxx]
Hunny you cant play his game because he is mentally ill, you are not. He dosent have a conscience, you do. He does not love or have real feelings, you do. He uses everyone even family and does not care who he hurts, you do! You cant play games with him he is the master game player. He already has a miserable relationship with Nicole; she is financially and emotionally abused and trapped because he is winning the game with her. Steve will only have something to do with people that he can control. If he feels he has not got control or is losing the control the person is wiped it is as straight forward as that with him. You ‘are’ playing with fire and you will ‘never’ win.
He never bonded with you as a child when you needed him and loved him most and that is because he does not love, it is all acting to get what he wants. The only way you can win is by walking away as he does to everyone, that is the only thing that affects him because in his universe he thinks he is king and everyone is his servant and when he does not get his own way he walks.
Lilydale lake sounds great but I cant do Sunday now as I have a friends birthday xxx
End of messages!
I am starting to think that I do not know my stepdaughter anymore. There was no emotion in her responses to a father that continually abused her, other than being angry at her aunty for calling her out! Would appreciate some thoughts on my relationship with my 18-year-old stepdaughter. To cut a long story short, Steve is violent and I need to do everything to protect the younger children to him and the mothers, and feel although Jasmine swore she would never see her father again, I feel she will compromise our safety. I am now very confused about my relationship with her.
Dear Lana,
Welcome to LoveFraud, and your article is very interesting and shows that even after years and years, some psychopaths will NOT give up, the rage against victims that “get away” (the P sees it as the victim “winning” I think) just keeps getting hotter.
I think your stepdaughter either has no concept of what she is getting into —and “Playing his game back at him” if she is trying to get revenge on him for what he did to her is a VERY foolish thing on her adolescent part; or she has “reconciled” with him, is falling for his attempts to use her to find you and is either like him, or is duped by him, that you have abused him and is helping him.
In either case, the girl is in a precarious position. She is making herself a perfect target to a man who TARGETS EVERYONE close to him.
With Steve still making verbal threats toward you, to kill you even, I suggest that you BELIEVE THEM.
I also suggest that you do not trust your step daughter at all. I would (having been stalked and my P son sending someone to kill me) not take a chance to even let the younger daughter see her at all,, even in a park. It is possible Steve could have you followed from the park to your home, or attack you in the park.
While your younger daughter may “love her sister” and you want her to have contact with her siblings, frankly, I would not even take a chance at this point you just have too much risk involved with a man like this.
I suggest you read Gavin DeBecker’s books, “The Gift of Fear” and I think the other one is “the Gift of Betrayal”–DeBecker is himself a victim of a severely abusive parent, in his case, his mother, and is an internationally respected expert on security against stalking. He is a good read. His book, “the Gift of Fear” is one that helped me in my own task of keeping myself safe. I literally had to leave my house secretly hide out for nearly a year. I am still VERY CAUTIOUS because my P son is in prison, but he was in prison at the time he sent the “Trojan Horse Psychopath” into our family to try to kill me and make it look like suicide. I take threats like this from violent psychopaths VERY SERIOUSLY—so if I were you, I would do everything I could to protect my location and my daughter’s location from this man.
It really doesn’t matter if your step daughter is a participant or a dupe in his schemes. My maternal DNA donor is my P son’s dupe and participates with him in “saving him” from me. He is in prison for murder already, and totally unrepentant, but she protects him none-the-less from me wanting him to STAY in prison for the “life” sentence and not ever be released on parole. It is 3 years until his next parole hearing, but if he gets out then or ever, I will have to leave my home and go into hiding, as will his brothers.
I am NO contact with my egg donor, though I am her only child, but it is to protect myself from my P son. No contact means that though I live next to her and occasionally have to have business contact with her, I do that by e mail, and try to keep all information about myself from getting to her via friends, relatives or neighbors. I realize that while she may not be a psychopath, she is a “dupe” and believes my P-son is being “persecuted” by his brothers and I so she is trying to “help” him and “support” him by sending him money in prison, and leaving him money when she dies….which will give him the better resources to hunt me and hurt me.
I think that is the situation with your step daughter at this point in time and that he is grooming her for information and she is hungry for a father’s “love”—-but either way, KEEP SAFE, and I would change my phone number and get off face book completely. Take down any photographs you have up there of either yourself or your daughter.
Hi Lana,
I agree with Oxy that your step daughter just does not “get it”,
she is so young, and who knows what he is saying to her.
Really excellent advice above.
I have not had this type of experience but I wanted to
thank you for sharing your story so we can all learn. xoxo
Are you over the top because of your own fears, Lana? I’d say most likely you are. These facts are very thin evidence on which to base a theory that an 18-year-old girl might be a psychopath.
What have we got? First, that Jasmine’s Aunty Lisa claims “she is a convincing liar and there is a lot of mischief she gets up to.” To start with, Jasmine is still a TEENAGER (even though she is a legal adult) and we have to expect a certain amount of “mischief” out of teenagers. I have no idea what this alleged “mischief” is supposed to have been, or what “lies” Jasmine is alleged to have been telling, and for what reason. Being on Facebook is not exactly a mortal sin. I’d have to hear about worse behavior than that before I labeled a teenager a psychopath.
I’m bearng in mind that Jasmine must have had a difficult life, not just with her parents splitting and her father being what he is, but with all the fallout that must have resulted from that. I gather the man has had three daughters by three different women, plus various girlfriends (of whom Nicole is only one). I dare say all these people, including Jasmine’s mother Di who seems to have problems of her own, must have been at loggerheads with one another at various times, and Jasmine may have had a hard time juggling all these relationships. If she has learned to be a bit devious at times, and somewhat economical with the truth, that wouldn’t surprise me. Especially if she’s been forced to HIDE her relationship with one person in order to maintain a relationship with another person. That may be unfortunate, but it’s hardly proof that she’s suffering from a genetic disorder.
Second, you seem concerned because you saw Jasmine displaying “no emotion” toward “a father that continually abused her.” I’m not quite sure what emotion you expected her to display, but I’m guessing from the context that you thought she’d be nursing anger toward her father. I on the other hand would not necessarily expect that. We have to remember first and foremost that no matter who this man is or what he is, HE IS STILL HER FATHER. If he’s abused her in some way in the past, it’s very likely her feelings toward him would simply be AMBIVALENT.
Since he is her father, it’s not surprising if she still wishes for a relationship of some kind with him, even if their past relationship has been bad. Perhaps that wish is unrealistic. Possibly, as you said, it may even be dangerous for her. But the WISH itself is perfectly natural. Just because at one time she “swore she would never see her father again,” I would not necessarily expect a vow of that kind to be kept forever. As older events receded into the past, she could quite easily rekindle the hope that some kind of relationship could be built with her father, perhaps based on a new and more adult understanding of what the man is really like.
Naturally she’d have mixed feelings about all this in view of past history. She obviously realizes she can’t have the kind of close or trusting relationship anyone would want with a parent. She’s only seen the guy ONCE, after all! But in her mind she may feel right now that some kind of contact with her father is better than none, even if it has to be an “arm’s length” relationship where she needs to stay aware of the games he plays in order to avoid being manipulated by him.
I am not saying this is wise. I’m not saying it’s necessarily going to work. I am saying that her DESIRE to have some kind of contact with her father is understandable in itself. If she wants to try, that is her right, even if the experiment only brings her frustration or grief. That’s the only way some people learn.
It was also natural enough for her to be annoyed if she believed her aunt had said something that might rob her of a relationship with her little sister. Jasmine may have seen a lot of stuff in her life along the lines of “if you’re friends with so-and-so then you can’t be friends with me.”
Of course it’s not beyond the bounds of possibility that Jasmine has inherited psychopathic traits from her father, but I’ve seen precious little evidence so far to support that idea. Nor did I see any hint of hostility toward you in Jasmine’s messages, despite some of the things you said about her father. It was all very well to warn her against the things Steve does, but I don’t think it was a good idea to go trashing him to his own daughter with namecalling and remarks about “rotting in hell” and the like. You could risk putting her back up if you do that. I can’t expect HER to feel the same way toward her own father that you do. As it was, she took your remarks well enough.
I’m not sure what you mean when you express suspicion of Jasmine’s motives. What do you think her motives are? Are you suggesting she’s acting as a spy for her father to find out where you live? That sounds a bit paranoid to me. What would she gain out of doing that? She already said, more than once, that she “doesn’t trust her father” and “doesn’t tell him anything.”
In the end you’ll have to make up your own mind whether to let Jasmine know where you live, if you’re worried about the slight chance that her father might get it out of her somehow—for instance by managing to sneak a look at her cellphone (as you suggested) on one of the rare visits she may make to him. But these days there are other ways Steve could find out where you live—IF he were serious about those threats, that is. He doesn’t need Jasmine to spy for him.
Whatever happens, I do hope the girl makes a good life for herself after the rocky start she must have had. And you too, of course.
Redwald ~ well thought out and expressed post and I could not agree more. I will go one step further –
Lana ~ I am an adoptive mother and former foster mother. I have conducted seminars on adoption and trained adoptive parents. It is NEVER acceptable to make such disparaging and hurtful remarks about the biological parent of a child. It can actually change “who they are”, they internalize these hurtful things and may end up believing it of themselves. I know 18 is considered an adult, but this poor CHILD has been through enough.
As if calling him a “cruel and heartless bastard” “dead set looser” wasn’t uncalled for enough, you went on to inform her that he was “only in touch with you because he wants something”, “he is trying to see you not because he loves you, misses you and cares about you” and he never bonded with you – etc.
All of the above may very well be true, but NO CHILD should have to hear that about their parent.
I sincerely hope that you can get some guidance before you start saying things like this to your own daughter.
Lana,
As the adult child of a psychopath, who didn’t get to know the man until I was an older teenager and I was curious and wanted to meet him…I think I can speak from the stand point of the girl as well as a person having been stalked by a psychopath. (still am for that matter)
1) her feeling for wanting to know about her father is normal, natural in my opinion.
2) to say no child deserves to hear the TRUTH about their biological parent I think is off base too. NO ONE told me anything really negative about my P sperm donor before I went to go live with him…I WAS TOTALLY UNPREPARED FOR WHAT HE WAS—A FULL FLEDGED, CARD CARRYING, WIFE BEATING, MURDERING, CROOKED PSYCHOPATH.
3) I got raped and beaten and I don’t know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t had friends that were willing to help me get out of his clutches.
4) Sure, the girl is probably ticked off that her aunt notified you.
5) there’s a lot of drama going on here
6) Nope, you can’t “diagnose the girl” as a psychopath with the information you have
7) YOUR PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY TO MY WAY OF THINKING IS TO A) YOUR DAUGHTER AND B) YOURSELF AND KEEPING YOU BOTH SAFE.
8) I think this girl is a danger to that safety on the down side, and on the UP side is any possible benefit to your daughter that being in contact with this young woman (half sister) is going to be.
Any time we have to make a choice yes or no, we have to weigh the possible benefits versus the possible costs….the possible benefits are the girl has a relationship with your dfaughter and it is good for both of them. COSTS? The possible cost is that she betrays you to your X husband and he hurts you or your daughter.
Is the possible benefit of communicating with this girl and allowing her to see your daughter and know where you live worth the possible cost? That’s for YOU to decide.
Would I let anyone near MY daughter who was seeing a father that violent who had made threats like that against anyone, much less against me? NOT AS LONG AS I AM BREATHING.
The decision is yours. What’s the benefit versus the possible cost or consequences?
Milo, you and I agree on most things, but an ADULT child HAS EVERY RIGHT IN MY OPINION TO KNOW WHAT THEIR BIOLOGICAL PARENT IS CAPABLE OF or has DEMONSTRATED in behavior.
I realize that there are therapists who will say “don’t talk bad about the other parent no matter what” and you know, I went along with that school of thought myself when my husband deserted my sons and me…leaving us (with his P-father’s help) literally HOMELESS. He never again saw or spoke to my sons. He did pay child support but it was mailed through the courts and they were young and devastated. I told them he was “sick in his mind” and that it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t see them…that was sort of true, he did have some serious mental health issues, but when they were OLDER I told them the ENTIRE STORY. I think they deserved that when they hit late teenage years.
He never tried to contact them, neither did their grandparents, and I heard recently that he died a couple of years ago. Even his obit did not mention his kids by me or his previous marriage. It was like they didn’t exist. I guess to him they didn’t.
I wish to hell someone had told me when I got old enough to understand just what a piece of carp my P sperm donor was and that he was DANGEROUS–no one did.
So I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one Milo—but yes, little kids, yes, they don’t need to hear a ration of stuff, even if it is true they can’t process that at an early age, but as young adults, I think they NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH, not just the P-parent’s side of it. I wish I had known, it might not have sunk in at first but maybe I would have gotten out before he raped me.
Oxy,
that is horrible what he did to you. I’m so sorry that you experienced that.
I completely agree with you. THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE. and a LIE is a LIE.
I think that to try to protect a child by hiding the truth is akin to a LIE which does a disservice to the child. The only thing I disagree on you with is the age of the child. The truth doesn’t harm EVER. no matter what age. The younger the child learns to navigate the world the better. The truth, of course, must be told in a loving and matter of fact way. You don’t explain it with venom in your voice or fear either. You don’t make them afraid, you teach them the same way you warn them about crossing the street or being wary of pedophiles. No therapist would warn against hurting their psyches with these warnings, but somehow think that the truth should be selective.
Another reason for not being selective on the truth is that the child actually KNOWS things intuitively. When mommy says things that go against what the child KNOWS intuitively, then the child experiences a WTF? moment. It begins that cycle of self-doubt that we are all running around trying to fix as adults. When Jesus said, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” He didn’t say, “except kids, you can hide things from them.”
I think the therapists who want to protect children with lies, are probably well meaning but they don’t know about sociopaths – that’s the wrong tactic.
My exP’s mom never told her boys that she divorced their dad because he was a serial cheater. She wanted them to love him. Unfortunately, it led exP to HATE her, for breaking up the family. He was probably already well into becoming an N, but he left home at age 12 and went to live with a prostitute, which traumatized him into a heinous P. Long story short, that first lie, ruined MY life, because I ran into him. A lie is never the answer.
Sky, I agree that lying isn’t the answer, but it depends again on the age of the child HOW MUCH you tell them and when…and what the “problem” is.
You can be truthful and not disclose everything, things that a small child won’t get get. Kids have developmental stages where there are things that they cannot get because literally their brain isn’t developed enough to “get it.” Just like a 2 year old isn’t going to “Get” the concept of zero, or “big numbers” either or even all their ABCs. That’s what I mean.
Or to tell a 18 month or 2 year old that they are going to die if they are diagnosed with cancer. They don’t know what “die” is, but what to tell a child 5 or 10 or 15 is differnet. I know a cancer doctor today who doesn’t tell her patients that they are terminal even if they are….she’s a great doc and saved the life of a friend of mine who was pretty close to death when diagnosed with leukemia.
I remember a cute story about a little girl 5-6 years old and her dog died…the girl asked her mom, “Mom,, do dogs have souls and will Fluffy be in heaven?” The mother said “Darling if it will make you happy for Fluffy to be in heaven then he will be there.” So the mother didn’t try to explain to the child if Fluffy had a soul or not, or if there was a dog heaven or not, but told the child a truthful answer that suited her level of development and calmed her grief as well.
Nurses are taught to “orient” a patient to person, place and time, and once in a nursing home I had a little demented patient who came out every day to the nurse’s station in her wheel chair. She asked what time the bus would come. The sweet little young nurse, would always say “Honey, this isn’t the bus station, you are at Old folk’s Manor and your husband is dead, he isn’t coming in today.” The lady would cry and cry. I finally (I was the director of nurses) told the little nurse if she EVER told that woman she was in a nursing home again I would fire her ass. I told her to tell the lady that “the bus is late, just wait right there, it will be here” then when lunch time came to tell her, “well the bus is still late, let’s take you to get you something to eat before it gets here.” Then at night to put her to bed and tell her it’s still late. That sweet little lady waited patiently every day, happy as a clam, waiting on her dead husband to come to the bus station. Telling her the bus was late was NOT a lie in my opinion, because she had so much dementia she couldn’t have remembered where she was but when she was reminded, she experienced the grief AGAIN FRESH AND NEW…and there was no need to make her sad with the “truth”—just my opinion.
But Oxy,
God doesn’t protect us from the truth, why do we do it to children. Some children are born deformed and no one can hide that from them. They must learn other strengths.
I was reading about a little girl who had a terminal disease, I think she was around age 6 and she knew she would die. She accepted it. I think it’s how the story is told that makes the difference.
The old lady, is like Job, who knows why God wants her to experience that confusion, but maybe it was time for her to experience grief and she was in denial so far that it came out as a form of dementia.
Pain sucks but the truth still sets us free.
Skylar,
I’m going to have to let this subject drop…I am in 180 degree disagreement with you about making this demented little old lady cry because she was wrong that she wasn’t in a bus station waiting for her husband. Peace. fini