LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Now I can honestly say to a victim, ‘I understand how you feel’

Editor’s note: This Lovefraud reader formerly posted under the name of “Adelle.” Her articles include “A thank you note to my sociopath” and “If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it.”

In the past I have written under the name of Adelle in an effort to keep my stalker from finding me. I dated this man and lived with him for about two years; he knows one of my passions is writing. I’ve written a few articles that have been published; he knows my style so it didn’t take him long to figure out I was “Adelle.” The fact that while I was still living with him I would get my support from Lovefraud also made it easy to find my writings. He knows a lot about me; of course he does ”¦ that is what sociopaths do; they study us. They pay attention to us and learn us well, then they use it for their attack.

My name is Olga Rodriguez and I have an organization called Royalty. I mentor; encourage and empower young ladies; I speak to them about Teen Dating Abuse. Ironic that I would fall into an abusive relationship myself? I think not. This experience has prepared me and equipped me to deal with this topic of abusive relationships in a more effective way.

I would often encourage young ladies and women to tell their stories and not be ashamed; many were reluctant to share. During my presentations I would tell my niece’s story. My niece Daniela was murdered by her husband and that is why I founded my organization Royalty; in hopes of saving and changing many young girls lives through her story.

Sharing Daniela’s story was not too difficult; it did bring sadness at times but I was always able to tell her story. It has been very difficult sharing mine. One of the reasons is that I kept telling myself I should have known better! I spoke to young girls about this day in and day out. What would people think of me? People would ask why I stayed so long; they would judge me. So many things that kept me trapped in silence.

Now I can honestly say to a victim “I understand how you feel” when she is not ready or afraid to tell her story.

One of my favorite prose/poem is Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson. Mr. Nelson Mandellla recited this in his 1994 Inaugural speech.

The part I focus on today is, “And as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same.”

I have found that after ending our relationship with the sociopaths; after going no contact or “seeing the light” as I like to put it, we find that our darkness turns into our light. What was meant to kill us has made us stronger and wiser (this would be after our recovery of course).

I recently shared my story with a group of young girls and to my surprise they were not judgmental. It was well received; one young lady said to me, “Hmm”¦now I believe you really understand me; you’ve been there.”

I recall when I was still in the “Storm” (relationship). I would go to the Lovefraud blog and read stories of success; people who had left their SP; people who were going No Contact and I would tell myself, “One day”¦I’m going to do it; I’m going to leave and go No Contact.”

I encourage you to tell your story here on Lovefraud; you have no idea how much it empowers and encourages others. During my relationship with the SP; I found much comfort and hope here at Lovefraud; even though at that time I would not share much, I would just read.

I know it is difficult to tell our stories; they are not your typical abusive relationship stories. A relationship with an SP is far more abusive and unbelievable. My relationships were not perfect before the SP, but by far none of my previous relationships were as abusive and damaging as the one with him (SP).

When your darkness has turned into your light ”¦

Let your light shine ”¦ because ”¦

As we let our own light shine; we consciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fears; our presence automatically liberates others!