Editor’s note: The following letter was sent by a reader to Lovefraud. It is published with the permission of the author.
I was foolish enough to work as a commission salesperson for a psychopath business owner.
One difficult lesson I learned was that once a psychopath has your pay watch out! Especially for commission sales. Since they just might just want to keep your money for themselves. Or milk out the deal. Then show you who’s boss.
This particular psychopath hooked me by holding onto my pay. Claiming cash-flow problems. Then he said I had to keep working for him. Or else he would keep my back-pay for himself. Then finally… he paid me and said he was reformed. Didn’t really believe him. But was grateful anyway. Since I needed the money.
Could have gotten out then. But then he offered me what sounded like a really good deal for one last project. He pulled the pity play there too. Then once the client paid the fee he stole the entire commission for himself. Filed with the state. But figure the money is lost. Apparently psychopaths rarely pay judgments.
Psychopath strategy was to hold out as long as possible before springing the trap. That way he could reduce his work load. Plus he got to play out the drama for as long as possible.
You can’t insult a psychopath! It does not level the playing field. But it does give the psychopath an excuse to do what they wanted to do anyway.
Psychopaths can play games all day long with no ill effect. But a normal person cannot. Like some sort of pain game. Where the psychopath claims he is suffering greatly. While knowing his target will hurt much worse.
This leads to avoiding conflict. By treating the psychopath carefully. Giving the psychopath the edge. Which did not seem to burn me up so much then. But burns me up now every time I think about it.
It also leads to strange games. Like emails with return receipts. Or telephone calls at odd hours. Or saying he was curious about things. Then asking for explanation. The games are endless. Don’t treat psychopaths with respect!
Enjoys getting busted
Foolishly thought that the evidence trail along with fear of getting busted would dissuade the psychopath from stealing the money. Wrong again. The psychopath reacted to getting busted with pure glee. “See you in court!”
He then told me he already paid me. Like whatever he said was true. Or will pay after I apologize for insulting him. He also enjoyed threatening me. Telling me I would get the opportunity to participate in a resolution.
Overall his personality matched the literature. Enjoyment of inflicting damage. Proving who is boss. No fear of consequences. Plus the opportunity to reveal his true personality. Getting busted was his pure delight.
The psychopath also enjoyed playing out the drama. Over months and months. With story after story. Strangely it sounded like he thought I believed him. But realistically he was probably happy enough just to continue the story. Since he already had the money anyway.
This is a much older post, but I think it bears reexamination. Spaths can be ANYbody! When money is involved, the supervisor/supervisee relationship can be strained just as badly as the intimate relationship is.
With the “intimates,” it is our pity and empathy that are the lures. With bosses or co-workers, it’s the money. No matter what the lure, they’re out there in groups and herds, it seems.
In my rural area, there are about 6000 residents in the County. Within my immediate vicinity (6 mile radius), there are probably about 1000 residents. Within this immediate vicinity, I’ve had the unfortunate experiences to run up against 2 people who precisely fit the sociopathic profile. One was a former business partner (which, thank God, I didn’t legally partner with once I saw his game), and someone that I believed to be a “good friend.” Both of these people are out for money, attention, and control.
BACKGROUND CHECKS! That’s all I can say. Credit and criminal background checks may (or, may not) provide a clue to source targets that they aren’t dealing with human beings who have a conscience. I hope that I don’t repeat my choices in business partners or friends, again. I really need to construct those boundaries and remain vigilant!