By | October 16, 2008 122 Comments

TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: The Marine and the sociopath

My name is Jonathan L. Spear. I serve in the United States Marine Corps. All my life I have considered myself a strong minded person who is kind hearted and loving of the world. I help all I can, I give strangers rides, I take in my friends who have fallen on bad times and help them get back on their feet and am willing to die for those I love and even people I don’t know. I am currently stationed near Baghdad, Iraq and well we don’t have a whole lot to do out here so I was watching a movie and there was this girl in it who said she has been called a sociopath by doctors but before they said that I had noticed that this girl had acted a lot like one of my ex’s. So I decided to do some research on the topic I went online and Googled it and came across this site and one other. Well I read the other one first and it gave a break down of what a sociopath was and it fit her to a glove. Then I came to this one and got more information on it and decided to share my escapade with a sociopath. My story is this:

Well my ex’s name is”¦ (well I’ll leave that part out), and she had dated some of my friends before, and I had seen her at parties and thought she was a extremely attractive girl (who did some low scale modeling in her time). I had heard about her and how she was an evil girl and that all of my friends had horrible times dealing with her and her baggage. Well I was out one day and ran into her and she recognized me from the parties and started talking to me. Well me being a young male who wasn’t in a relationship at the time, saw a chance to get a really hot girlfriend so I jumped at the chance, ignoring what my friends had told me about her, and giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Everything started out fine, she tore down my walls and she gained my trust and my love, which is really hard to do, and I just let the little things slide, like always needing some money for gas and or something like that, and the fact that she was always throwing herself at me made things really easy to accept. Then she cheated on me the first time. It absolutely devastated me, tore me into a thousand pieces, but somehow she talked her way out of me being angry and I gave her another chance. It just seemed like she cared so much and she cried like I’ve never seen before. Well a little while after that I started having my doubts about her cause she started acting weird and well I felt like she was always using me for something be it money, a place to stay, a warm body to play with, a way to get into parties, and for a social life in general cause well she didn’t seem to have any real friends other then me. So I told her that I was unhappy and she talked her way out of it making me forget about it and into the bedroom, well she said she had started birth control the week earlier (thinking back on it I never ever saw her take it even when I was with her every waking moment), so we hadn’t been using protection. About another 2 week goes by and I decide to break up with her, well I sit her down and start talking about what we were doing together and that I thought she had some problems and that I couldn’t take it any longer”¦ then she trumps me with “baby I’ve been acting weird cause I’m pregnant” and I knew that she had used this line on one of my other friends before so I didn’t believe her, well she showed me the test and I told her to take another one. She had another one with her because she said she knew I wouldn’t trust her. She took it and it was positive. So I said alright we were going to stay together and fix things between us and make our relationship work until we figured out what we were going to do. Well I did a lot of soul searching and I knew I wasn’t ready for the baby and didn’t want it. I told her, and that it was her choice on what she did and that no matter what it was I would do the right thing like a real man should. She decided that she was too young and well”¦ it still hurts to think about but she had an abortion about 2-3 weeks later.

We stayed together and I thought I fell in love with her or maybe I really did who knows, and I was bound and determined to not let things fall apart between us. But as soon as I said that to her she cheated on me again”¦ she cried said she loved me and I forgave her again. Then she did it again, and again. It seemed like if she wasn’t standing right next to me she didn’t care a damn bit about me, but when she was there her love seemed so real and she seemed so crazy about me that I would believe her every time. I realized then that she had a problem and I was damned sure I was going to figure out a way to fix her. I tried everything I could think of but nothing worked and I wasn’t willing to give her a list of do’s and don’ts (such as, you cant see him, hang out with her, or go anywhere without me) like most men would cause I hate that and am not that type of man, but nothing worked. Being a Marine I have a lot of determination and an “I will do attitude” so I couldn’t give up on her. Well I got word that my unit was leaving to go to Iraq and that I might be going. So she being my girlfriend was the first to know. She started crying and said she would miss me and didn’t want me to go and (it didn’t strike me as odd then) where was she going to stay etc”¦ well I later found out the list of people who was going and I wasn’t on it so I told her. She was happy. I was happy.

Then she cheated again”¦ I wasn’t willing to give up still but I slipped into a deep depression. All the misery she had been causing me finally caught up to me. Everyone that knew me noticed. The relationship I had with her ruined some friendships and began jeopardizing all of the rest, because they all knew what she was doing to me and didn’t understand that I was addicted to her and stuck in a cycle. Nothing they could do would cheer me up or get me to break away from loving her, until my roommate knocked some sense into me. She (roommate is female) made me realize that I was in fact stuck in the same cycle and needed to find a way to break away from it”¦ So I went to my unit and volunteered to go to Iraq as soon as I could because I knew she would just keep reeling me in if I didn’t just drop her from my life. As it turns out one of the guys on the list of people to deploy got into a little trouble and was taken off the list that day so they needed a replacement and they were leaving in 2 weeks to start predeployment training in VA. I went home and lied to her (my ex) and said I was told to go. So I spent the 2 weeks with her and she got me loving her again before when I left. The training was about a month long and when it was done I could go home for 5 days before we left for Iraq.

Well when I got home one of my buddies told me that she cheated on me again. Well I knew he wasn’t lying so I snapped and had to figure out what I was doing. So I went to see my “little sister” (I call her that because we she has been my best friend since my sophomore year in high school) and I told her that it happened again and she got really angry with me for putting up with it for so long and that she couldn’t stand seeing me do this to myself anymore, and in the argument we had she told me that she loved me and has been in love with me since high school. I stormed out cause I didn’t know what to do and I was so confused at that point I couldn’t think so I went home and downed a bottle of whiskey trying to chase it all away. I was the only one home and then guess who came up to my door not knowing I knew yet, that’s right my sweet little sociopath, well I was very drunk and very angry so I started yelling and screaming at her smashing anything I could grab against the floor. But nothing I could do at that point could show how angry at the world I was, girlfriend who I loved constantly cheating, best friend who just admitted to being in loving me for like 5 years, and leaving in 3 days to help fight a war, it’s a lot to have on your mind. Then I just stopped I calmed down and told her it was over and that maybe in the future her and I could be something but she had a lot to learn and had to fix herself first. She threw herself at me and we had sex (I shouldn’t have done it but I did) and when we were done she tried to get back together with me but I held my ground and said no”¦ she threw herself at me again and then afterwards she tried again. I let it happen one more time and then kicked her out for good.

Now I sit here in Iraq finally understanding what caused her to do those things to me realizing it wasn’t my fault and that there’s nothing I can or could do to save her from herself. I now know that to fully heal from the things she did to me I have to never let her in my life again and cut all contact from her and warn my friends about her. This was an awful experience and has scarred me deeply and I hope no one ever has to go through what I did. I hope I can recover and trust again fully because now I know I have a very great girl waiting for me at home. Thinking about it now I would go through all that pain again just for the chance to say I love you to my “little sister” in a whole new way.

That’s the end of my story. I hope that it can do some guy out there some good, knowing that if it can happen to a Marine it can happen to them and to be careful in those you love because the venomous sting of a sociopath can be very painful. So in conclusion please don’t ignore this letter. Let me protect the people in my country in more ways then one. Let me fight the battle and take the wounds whether it be from a bullet or from a fork-tongued female, so that you the people of America don’t have to.

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Even though I’m a woman, I completely understand. My husband was in the same trap with his ex, even while he was in love with me. Sociopaths know that sex ‘fixes’ everything. It’s their first line of defense.

I know how hard it is to tear yourself away from somebody that you want to fix so badly. Though I don’t completely understand it, I was there while my husband was trying to “fix” his ex-wife. They don’t want to be fixed. While I don’t support abortion, that was her decision, and you can be in a way relieved that you don’t have that tie to her.

You have to remember that she will never love you like you love her. She will never even be a real friend. She will only use you. She will give you whatever STD she’s gotten through all her cheating. She knows she has your love and will USE it, not love back.

Be glad you have time away from her, even though it’s in the sand-pit. The more time you spend away, the easier it will be to see things without the rose-colored glasses. You will find a sweet, endearing lady to give your love to, and she’ll return it with her love. Dont’ waste any more of your life crying over a cheater, manipulater, and con artist. She’s a hot bod, but that’s it. What will she have when that goes???


Oh, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she lied about the modeling. And about the abortion/pregnancy. Did you go with her? Or just give her money for it?

Sociopaths will do anything. She made my last husband cheat on me, and when she saw I was talking with her ex-husband, she freaked out at losing control and “made” him cheat with her too. I say made because even though it IS the guy’s fault, I also know how female sociopaths work and how good they are at manipulation. When they get a guy on the hook that also has their heart invested, it’s like a slam dunk for them. Sex works for guys. Period.


I don’t mean to keep responding, but I’m pleasantly surprised at all these men coming out and discussing female sociopaths. They are cheaters, cheaters, cheaters! The one in my life cheated so much my husband lost count at 30. That was during the marriage. They’ve been divorced for 2 years now, and she’s been remarried twice, both guys said she’s cheated on them or had other guys on the hook while they were dating. She always has 2 or 3 guys. How disgusting!

Unwilling Raconteur


First, let me thank you sincerely for the sacrifice you’re making for our country to keep others safe and sound. I am in debt to you and all of your fellow man and women in the armed forces. God be with you.

kerisee04 is right when she says that sex is the sociopath’s first defense. I heard everything after the first round of obvious cheating. My ex-sociopath told me that from now on, he wasn’t going to have any female friends that I didn’t know personally. That lasted until the water ran cold. I can only tell you that you are forunate that you found out about your ex’s indiscretions. People like me who stayed with a sociopath for years and never found out until one of the sex partners finally “squealed,” didn’t have a clue. I really would have never guessed that my ex was cheating. He wasn’t a particularly attractive man, and it always appeared that he was available to me. What I didn’t know is that while I was at work, he was having sex with other women in our bed.

You could have knocked me over with a feather. Honestly, that he was doing that practically in front of me — when at any time, I could have come home for lunch and found them — was one of the final straws.

Please take care of your heart. Do whatever it takes to heal from this. It takes a very long time. Therapy, in some cases, is actually a good idea, because it gives you the tools you need to not beat yourself up. Stay safe, Jonathan. Thanks for sharing your story.

Unwilling Raconteur


When the truth comes out, it’s ugly. As bad as I began to suspect, it was far, far worse than that. My ex-sociopath continued to “keep in touch” after we “broke up.” Even though he was supposedly in a relationship with someone, I know for a fact that he had at least two other women on the side that she didn’t know about. Additionally, he was sending me suggestive text messages. (Ugh!) Even when I asked him to stop, he continued to do it. I couldn’t get away with that to save my life, I’m just too transparent (nor would I want to). Their lack of conscience really starts to shine through after a while.


The Project Manager and the sociopath
I am also a guy, and I also got stung by a female sociopath. After you have been stung you will walk in darkness until you realize that there is nothing wrong with you and that you’ve collided with a sociopath. Then it is time for healing. And healing will come with time. But you might not ever be the same person again.

This seems like a classical case.
-The attractiveness (some of them are very attractive!)
-The pity play (the most universal sign according to Martha Stout). Look for crocodile tears. It can be really convincing and it is used to reel you in by appealing to your sympathy.
-The getting-you-hooked thing (some have used the metaphor heroin addiction). Brain survival wiring makes you addicted to the sociopath.
-Stockholm syndrome (you empathize with the emotional abuser)
-The sociopath takes on the victim role.
-The promiscuity
-The need to win (what else is left when you can’t love or empathize)
-The manipulation

These people learn early in childhood that they are different from others, and they learn early on to spot others in a crowd who are similar to them. Pretty scary huh? They learn early on that they can use normal people’s emotions against them, and do much emotional and psychological damage with ease. They have often been referred to as supreme natural psychologists with regards to reading other people. They sort of have a 6th sense when it comes to sizing up people.

It is important to realize that the person you got to know doesn’t really exist. It is just a persona, designed to entrap you. Some psychologists even refer to them as a different kind of human being. A person without a soul.

Read Without Conscience by Robert Hare and The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout.

Oh, and I was a Marine too (although not in the US Navy). Getting stung has nothing to do with integrity nor intelligence. Everybody can be taken for a ride, even experienced psychologists and psychiatrists who are dealing with a known sociopath!

They have a canny ability to imitate feelings of others. Research has shown that they can’t distinguish between emotionally laden words and neutral words. This does even appear on brain scans! While you may differentiate the emotional meaning of the word “death” from the word “table”, for a sociopath these words have the same emotional value. Only when the sociopath intellectually realize that “death” should trigger an emotionally response, they will feign the emotional response. Sociopaths know that it is nice to like children but doesn’t know why.

An article on Dr. Hare’s website called, Psychopaths Among Us, by Robert Hercz, describes how Dr. Hare was contacted by Nicole Kidman, who wanted his advice on how to play the part of a psychopath for her film, Malice. Dr. Hare uses the anecdote of a psychopath who had just witnessed an accident where a mother watched her child get killed by a car. There’s blood all over the place, and the psychopath experiences no emotion, but instead, is trying to avoid getting blood on her shoes. The psychopath notices the mother’s emotional reaction to the accident and is fascinated. She goes home, looks in the mirror, and begins to mimic the facial expressions of the mother. “That’s the psychopath,” revealed Dr. Hare.


Mr. Niceguy-
Your list of symptoms matches my husband’s ex to a tee. When I was still caught in her web as her “best friend,” and my husband (now-ex) confessed about the affair, she feigned victimization so well that I felt sorry for her!!! She really is a piece of work! So if I was that snowed after knowing her for 2 months, I can only imagine how bad my now-husband was after 6 1/2 years! I can’t blame him for anything, really. And, yes, we’re in counseling!

She goes from hating my husband to continuing to try to get him back with her, to trying to make him jealous, to blaming him, to blaming whoever she’s with, to– on and on and on.

Some people say she’s pretty. I never really thought so. She’s very sure of herself and fun to be around (at first). But if you look in her eyes and block out everything else, you don’t just see nothing, you see evil. That’s all I can say. She’s sharp too. Nothing escapes her attention. She is fighting us in court for the kids, even though her lawyer said she doesn’t have a chance, because she just can’t sign her kids away. So she’s making us all foot an enormous lawyer/psychologist bill for this.

Your note about Stockholm syndrome was excellent. I never thought of it that way. But it’s true. You feel like they are so vulnerable and you have to be there for them. Be their rock through their ups and downs. Or else they’ll commit suicide. She admitted to 4 different occasions when she cheated on her husband when they had been married for 2 years. It devastated him, but he forgave her because he thought if he left, she’d commit suicide. He didn’t know about any of the other occasions until my ex-husband fessed up, and then all her deeds poured out from her like she’d been waiting for someone to open the valve. It’s sick. She couldn’t even remember it all. She’d put the kids in daycare once a week, then drive to another town, sleep with a guy at a car dealership, then come home and make her husband dinner. With her next husband, he’d go to work and she’d have guys come over while he was gone! This last husband, she was sleeping with guys while she was dating him. But she still managed to reel him back in. He was even willing to testify against her for us, but when she found out, she turned on the charm, and off they went.

She told a friend once that she liked to make her husband cry (my now-husband) because it meant he cared about her. How sick is that???


mrniceguy good post thanks I would like to add something I read on another thread here. Optical illusions; autostereograms and Sociopaths. (this is the purpose of frequent pity-ploys. It is emotionally impossible to simultaneously pity yet suspect deceit. Your mind can only do one or the other) I guess they (P’s) know this and use it to their advantage.


karisee05: It seems as you fell for the sympathy ploy. That happened to me too. I actually dumped her but she cried her crocodile tears and being a nice guy I couldn’t stand seeing her like that so I fell for it. And then all the twisting and turning began, leaving me feeling drained. I felt as if my self-identity was wiped out.

I think that counseling is a good idea, but the most important part is finding yourself again. One of sociopaths’ hidden agenda is to make you lose faith in yourself and in other people. They do stuff that can’t be rationalized nor explained. They seem to hurt people just for the fun of it. Some authors call it “existential vengeance”.

Sociopaths are known to blame others for their bad behavior and the sad part is that the normal person will often believe they are at fault. They have a stunning capability to rationalize their bad behavior.

A hallmark of good people is that they constantly question themselves. People with integrity, high moral and sympathy easily fall victim because we think everybody else has the same ethics.

You mention that she’s sharp. This is actually described in Proverbs 5 and 7, a text that’s 4000 years old.

The Stockholm syndrome is an interesting one. Do a Google search on it, it is an interesting phenomena.

Regarding your last comment that she liked to get him to cry. I think it’s a part of the pity play. Sociopaths love getting pity.
It reminds me of one of the first things that the female sociopath said to me. She said “Well, there is one good thing about our mutual friend dying, and that is us making contact”.
I remember that “what??” feeling but didn’t react further to it because she said it like it was the most natural thing in the world. Now I cannot understand why I didn’t run away as far as possible. But that is the way it is when you get those glasses on. The sociopath’s glasses.

In the end, if you rationalize enough with a sociopath, if you get into a power struggle, you will lose faith in your own sense of reality, thinking that there is something wrong with YOU. In fact this is a manipulation technique they use; giving you a feeling of guilt for daring to question them and their motives.

Henry; thanks for your comment. I agree, they use our own humanness to have us filter out what’s really going on.


mrniceguy – thanks for spelling out how I feel – I have so much guilt for the relationship not working. I lost my identity – I was wiped out – I just could not go on hurting or hurting him – it became a power struggle and I DID lose my own sense of reality – I was convinced I was crazy. My home and my person still bare the scars of his raging and yet I was trying so hard to do the right thing – I continued to give him the benifit of the doubt – because I fell for his pity plays – his attempt at suicide to convince me he cared. His words were the exact opposite of his action’s. Intellectually I know he was a sociopath with borderline personality disorder. Knowing I still cared about him I had to make him leave. Was the most confusing and agonizing thing I ever did. At the time I did not know any thing about personality disordered people – I just knew I was going to die if I continued to love him. thanks again for your recent post –

OMG Jonathan & Mr. Niceguy. The books I’ve read on sociopaths so far indicate statistics indicate 4% of people out there are sociopaths and out of the 4%, 1% are females. It’s against the odds you’ll get involved with another…especially after the last bout.

I’ll tip toe out there through the sociopathic mine field next time …when I’m ready to date again that is. Hey, aren’t there canines that are used in the army to sniff out landmines or bombs? I wonder if I can train my dog to sniff out sociopaths.


I read through your post and can’t count the number of times your ex cheated on you. Can you tell me how long you were with her?

Ox Drover

Dear Jonathan,

Thanks for your sacrifices for our country, and thanks for sharing you story so vividly. It takes a heck of a man to admit he has been “had” as badly as you have been.

Continue to read and blog here and to learn more about psychpaths, that will help you heal, and don’t rush yourself, it takes TIME.

Mrniceguy, thank youk, too, for blogging here and sharing. I know the guys here may seem to think ksometimes that we are a “man bashing” bunch of biddies–and sometimes we talk like we are, but it is just I think the fact that 3 out of 4 psychopaths are men, but that doesn’t mean there are not plenty of other disordered personalities out there that are female. In our culture it is difficult for me to be “brave” enough to stand up and admit to themselves much less others how badly they have been hurt by a disordered peronality.

Glad to have you guys here, you will be good support for the other guys here and have a special support for them.

Learn the “red flags” of dishonesty that these people wave, usually early on in the relationship, that will help you avoid another dysfunctional attachment before you get too far hooked in.


You know Jonathan, everyone thinks its just vicious women that do men under … instead of people realzing anti-socials come in all shapes, sizes, sexes, natiionalities.

Personally, I detest when guys say to me … “what do you think, we’ve men having been dealing with user woman all these years … now it’s your turn”. Hey, I’ve been dumped on by others all through my life … and it is not a female thing going on out there … anti-socials are anti-socials PERIOD.

Thank you for putting your life on the line for us back on the home turf. We are all proud of every single one of you fighting this fight.



Well i was with this girl for a about a year, a very long one at that and honestly i dont know the number of times she cheated on me. The worst part about it was most of them were my friends. I’m still good buddies with most of them because I try to be very forgiving, but i guess that makes me a better target for her type. I forgave most of my friends because I realized how good she was at getting what she wanted so I was able to rationalize with them when they apologized. I dont think I will ever forget how much my friend Sean cried about it… and everytime i caught her she still wouldn’t admit it for like an hour. Sometimes it would take getting everyone that was with her to come over and tell me in front of her cause she would say I was taking what they told me out of proportion.

I will always remeber her eyes though cause you are correct in saying that all you see in them are evil… which is one of the reasons she was able to hook me, I’ve always been a darker soul enjoying the odder things in life such as piercings and tattoos, and the evil and darkness i saw in her eyes intrigued me… not a mistake I will make again.

Stockholm syndrome… I never even thought of it like that. I can’t fathom that she was able to con me like that, and it angers me that she did.

I did go to the abortion with her. she didnt want me to at first but i refused to let her do it by herself cause i thought it would be a very traumatic event for her, but i thought it was odd when she was makeing jokes in the waiting room, i figured it was just her way of dealing with stress, but i realize now that she just didn’t care. She always used it against me in arguements to, saying she did it for me and that she didn’t want to keep arguing cause she was under stress from “losing the baby” as she called it. She blamed everything on me the baby, the cheating, saying it was cause I did’t treat her good enough when i treated her like a queen or because i didn’t pay enough attention to her when we were always together. The only times we were apart were when i was at work or when I was with my boys even when i was with them she tagged along most of the time.

I thought i was futher in healing then I really am… The fact that I get so angry at the things she did prove that but I’m glad I have a place to talk about it now. I mean the Marine Corp. isn’t the most talk about how sad you are kinda organization.


[quote from Mr. Nice guy]These people learn early in childhood that they are different from others, and they learn early on to spot others in a crowd who are similar to them. Pretty scary huh? They learn early on that they can use normal people’s emotions against them, and do much emotional and psychological damage with ease. They have often been referred to as supreme natural psychologists with regards to reading other people. They sort of have a 6th sense when it comes to sizing up people.[end quote]

Of all the things I have read on this site, this one gives me chills.

I also read this original article with great interest. First, it’s really good to see that there are men in the military who are genuinely good people. My P was in the army, and it has made me shy away from military people.

Second, although I didn’t stay with my ex long enough to observe the constant cheating, I can see that the behavior patterns are the same. While he was with me, he poured out his heart in a big display of love and affection. He would make promises and would tell me he would never hurt me. Then he would turn around THE NEXT DAY and break those promises. Occasionally, I start to wonder if my ex was really a sociopath. But all I have to do is read these stories to see that they all do the same things. Break their word at the bat of an eye. Lie as easily as breathing. I can certainly understand why Jonathan kept going back. The spell they cast is very powerful.


Marine: You sound like a truly great man with so many good qualities. I’m so sorry the sociopath used all of your good qualities against you. Thank God you got out before she destroyed you. These stories are just such tragedies. It amazes me how these people (I use the word loosely) can cause so much destruction in the lives of others. My relationship with the bonafide sociopath only lasted 2-1/2 months before I got out. I was combination of a semi-discard by him and also my starting to connect the dots about his marriage that he lied about. I found out afterward that he and his wife are trying to defraud the military out of a phony medical discharge. It was actually the sworn statements by me and my friends that is being used as evidence against him by the army.

BTW, to those following the story, I faxed in the statements a week and a half ago, and they were received. I have not heard anything else from the army. I have no idea whether they will punish him or not. I kind of don’t want to know.


“i thought it was odd when she was makeing jokes in the waiting room, i figured it was just her way of dealing with stress, but i realize now that she just didn’t care.”

This reminds me of a similar quote from Dr. Robert Hare’s book “Without Conscience”:
” “I can always have another,” one female psychopath coldly replied when questioned about an incident in which her two-year-old daughter was beaten to death by one of her many lovers. When asked why she would want to have another child, (two had been taken into protective custody), she said “I love children.” Again we see that the expressed emotion is in contradiction to the behavior.”

I think you made a wise move in distancing yourself from her.
It is very difficult to unhook. In the end, she dumped me and I was desperate to get her back. In doing so, she sucked out the last portion of emotional energy I had left. But now I am very glad of course that I didn’t get a Volvo and kids with her.

Ox Drover

Dear Marine,

Healing takes time and you are right the Marines isn’t the place to share a lot of this, but one of the things you may not know is, most of us dont have “understanding” friends. They ust “don’t get it” why we can’t just “Let go and Move on”

The anger you are feeling is very natural and normal after an injury of this nature and extent.

Google “grief process” and learn about the stages you will be going through, anger is only one of several and they will flip and flop from one to the other, maybe hourly for a while, in a “random” order.

Be extra nice to yourself and “give yourself a break”–read and learn more about the grief process and also about psychopaths and the “healing road.”

Good luck to you! And God bless.


Quote- “She always used it against me in arguements to, saying she did it for me and that she didn’t want to keep arguing cause she was under stress from “losing the baby” as she called it. She blamed everything on me the baby, the cheating, saying it was cause I did’t treat her good enough when i treated her like a queen or because i didn’t pay enough attention to her when we were always together.”

That is textbook of my hubby’s ex-s. She would say she cheated on him because he didn’t show her affection (he didn’t show affection out of self-preservation). She has thrown the kids in his face more times than I can count (“I had those kids for you” “I stayed at home while you worked, and now I have nothing. You left me with nothing.”) Everything is his fault. Or somebody’s fault. If she does something, and gets caught, the repercussions are always somebody else’s fault. She would obsess and flip out about anything. Sometimes keeping him up all night obsessing. She would grab attention by sitting and flipping her foot wildly to show she was upset. Everybody would then walk on eggshells and cater to her needs. When he left her, he allowed her to stay in the house for 6 weeks while he stayed an hour away and commuted daily from his sister’s house. This was to allow her to find a job. Instead, she slept with men in the house and found no job. That way when he finally did kick her out, he ‘left her with nothing.’ He allowed her to drive the van for 3 months until she could get her own car, while he made the payment. She trashed it and left it in disrepair. She switched the gas over to her new apartment so she didn’t have to pay a deposit, and his gas was shut off. She didn’t even warn him. He had to pay a deposit. Then he got his own checking account. She went to the bank and claimed to be his wife and took out all the money, $700. He went to the bank and got them in trouble because she was not on the account. She had to return the money. He paid all her therapy appointments and medicines for a couple months and left $100 on the counter every time he stopped by to check the mail during the separation. But he left her with nothing. See the pattern??? He paid all the daycare for the children while she jumped from job to job and switched daycares monthly. She’s moved more times than I can count, once being an hour away, where he’d have to drive there to exchange the kids. I could go on and on. Just another commality amongst female S’s. Be glad you don’t have kids with her!


I can only say that time does help to heal. Please continue to let us know how you are doing.


Jonathan L. Spear

Thanks for sharing your story and yes I believe it will help others who have or had this type of dysfunctional relationships. Being a Vet as well understand the need to protect our rights as people of this great country. Which is why I “joined” up with LF. It is great to be with “comrades” who understand and share our pain and help with our healing… Thanks again!




Thank you for sharing you unfortunate experience. It’s useful for society and its education to hear male voices on this matter. I once read in Esquire an article on the Ten Worst Heartbreakers (or something like that) that the author had heard of. They were almost all sociopathic but the article didn’t mention the word.

You email brought the following points to my mind:

1. S’s are simply geniuses at making people feel sorry for them. They know exactly what they are doing and laugh at our stupidity.

2. Both sexes often appear attractively wild, crazy and fun loving. It takes a while to realize they’re actually wild, actually crazy and fun is the only thing they love.

3. Third parties often don’t recognize s misbehavior towards a partner even if they witness it. Third parties seem to assume it’s “payback” for something they don’t know about or they think there must be two sides to every story (which is usually the case).

4. One often sees here at LF, the phrase, “it’s nothing personal.” To understand the S approach to sex recall childhood sex games. There’s no “soul involvement” and no emotional intimacy. That’s their experience, with orgasms thrown in. Thus they are bored to death. The sex isn’t personal and neither is the cheating.

5. An romantic disaster with an S actually is a nightmare one can wake up from. Once one realizes, at a very deep level – with the emotions as well as the mind, that with an s “there is no there there”, that there is no human heart beating in that chest. There shouldn’t be any residual “why did I do this or that?” “why did he/she do this or that?” If the betrayed partner never reaches that point perhaps the betrayer wasn’t really an s (though they might fit the check list) or something deeper is going on (like the betrayed is a child of an S and thus on an eternal quest for the impossible).

6. I absolutely believe that all young adults of age to seek serious romance should know of this possibility. I had a friend in a marriage with an s, unfortunately it took her several years to understand the situation and get out. Discussions like this are very helpful. We all need to know of the possibility and recognize it without wasting years of our lives.

Thanks again for your letter.


I’d never heard the word sociopath before, I read about it with interest. I thought that maybe my fiance was/is one but the more I read the more I feel that he has got some traits, but I think I may too.
I’m questioning myself and reading the marines story. I’ve cried when my man wanted to leave me and he’s stayed. I cheated on my man in the 1st 3 weeks of meeting him. he has held it against me. But you see at the time he was still married I didn’t know for sure at the time as he told me he was separated. but as he went home at week ends I figured it out. thats not why I did it. He hadnt called or returned my calls either, that weekend. and hadn’t arranged another date so i though i wouldn’t see him again so I met this other guy . It was the 1st and ever time I had a one night stand… for the record I’d never do it again. whether I’m in a relationship or single.. Any way because of the mistrust I used to ring him alot and text him alot in the beginning of outr relationship the first 2 yrs in fact. Many times he didn’t answer his phone and wouldn’t tell me were he’d been or would say he was asleep. I felt he was liyin to me so I’d ring his hotel and they’d say he’d gone out or wasn’t answering his phone. It really hurt me that he felt he couldn’t be honest with me. Then we got skype but he’d say it wasn’t working and he couldn’t get the Internet in his room,So once I pretended to be a young woman, he told this young woman not knowing it was me that it would be sad if he had a wife or girlfriend at home.. He did… I eventually told him and he said he’d guessed it was me.. I still can’t beleived that I went to those lenght s to catch him out, did and am still with him. He says the problem is he loves me. he is still working away. We have only phyiscally been together 20 days this year. 2 of them were when he came to me.
Am I the sociopath, trying to make this relationship work, I’m not sure how he intends to live with me as he won’t live in my country so I will have to leave my house, my job my friends and family to move to his country and he says he will still have to work away from time to time but not for as long. He may not stay in the house he is presently buying, Also he doesn’t want me to move in straight away as he needs to get more things for the house, we’ll visit each other and see how it goes.. He’s plans. we are engaged for a yr but he says we’ll get married someday but not .We have been in a relationship nearly 5 yrs… mostly long distance, which I have gone to great expense on plane fair and phone calls to keep going. I’m not sure if I’m a sociopath. I don’t want to be but Am I?


Oh just to say he did leave his wife after meeting me, She asked him to leave when she found out about me. He lost everything and thats why I asked him to live with me , but he only stayed till he got a job abroad then he packed all his stuff and left while I was in work.He said his marriage had been over a long time as she neglected him and he was very lonely. I forgot to say that, he is divorced 2 yrs now.




I just read , I’m Thinkin ,This guy is the stud , Then in mabye the shortest distance my tears where welling! “Out of the Mouths of babes” I know You are the stud ! but a Stud with a heart ! Thanks for your candor and Grace ! I will be praying for your Happy Return HOME

Love Jere


I wonder

The IT detection Canine 🙂

Donna ***** Look right here *****

My name is Jere APPROVED !

No for real ! For true !

MY cat knew ! MEOW ! CJ was scared to death of IT !

IT told me It had never done anything to CJ *LIE*
Love jere


Laurna, IMO, you are just confused and letting the guy play you with the guilt card. First, the issue of your “cheating” on the guy. Look at this logically: You had known him THREE WEEKS, he was married (although separated, so he said, although that turned out not to be true. MAJOR LIE and RED FLAG). But even if it HAD been true, you still had known him only three weeks, he wasn’t returning your phone calls, nor had he made any indication of a future date. You were NOT in any sort of committed relationship at that point–the guy was MARRIED, so IMO you were NOT cheating, you were DATING others (like he was obviously doing, but the difference is YOU had the RIGHT to be dating others, where he did not). You say he has held it against you. I suggest you hold it against HIM that he was married and lying about it while seeing you. (I mean that as in DUMP HIM NOW!) Stop beating yourself up over “cheating” on a guy you barely knew, who was ignoring your calls, and who was still MARRIED and not even separated at the time.

Your guy may be a socio, may be just a player who is stringing you along, but he obviously lies to you, obviously is not committed to a relationship with you, and YOU are doing all the WORK to keep this relationship going. You are not even in the same country, and IF you give up your country, job, family, friends, etc. to move where he is, the best he can say is NO to marriage, NO to your living with him, and “we’ll visit each other and see how it goes”.

Look hard at all you would be giving up for a man who has cheated on his wife with you, is a liar, dodges your phone calls and lies about what he is doing and where he is (my guess would be he is out on other dates during this time), and is perfectly happy to let YOU spend YOUR money to fly to see him. IMO moving to his country on a “we’ll see how it goes promise” would be one of the worse mistakes you ever make. He has a super duper set up now—he can see you when you spend a wad of cash to fly to see him, the rest of the time he is single and out playing. If you moved in with him, that would definitely cramp his style, so even if you go to the trouble of moving near him, he still wants his SPACE to do his “game”. He’s more or less telling you that. LISTEN. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but sometimes ya just need a harsh dose of reality. DUMP THIS GUY NOW would be my advice. And keep reading this site and posting. BTW, I also do not think you are a sociopath, but your man is at a minimum a lousy jerk who wants to keep you in a “backburner” type relationship for his convenience.


Thanks Jen

Your not the Soc/PSY cause if you where you would’nt care!

Love Jere


Jen2008. You are SO right. I will be the first to admit that my ex-S had a girlfriend (different than marriage yes, but with another yes) but you can’t cheat on someone who is in fact cheating. My ex used to tell me in one breath how he didn’t care what I did or who I was with in one breath and then flip out on me or make side comments about who I was with and what I was doing. Even after I put him out he would call me 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning and I’m sure part of it was to see who I was with. To this day he has (5) of my old cell phones. I know that sounds crazy but two of them he claimed he threw away when he cleaned my house while I was away but I know he has them. And I know he took them so he could have the contacts that I had in them.

He was cheating on his girlfriend with me, telling me what I was not allowed to do and cheating on me and the girlfriend with an 18 year old. Laurna, Jen is right DUMP HIM IMMEDIATELY. You still have time to get through this fairly unscathed. Keep reading these posts and you’ll see just what these cretins are capable of.




Thank you so much for your advise. I’m trying so hard to justify not contacting this man again,/ But as I’ve said. I worry for myself jen says she thinks I might be a S. I don’t want to be. I’d hate to think I could hurt someone and try make them love me. I’d never cheat when I’m in a relationship. Yes I’ve checked up on my man, but it was because i had a gut feeling he wasn’t being honest with me at times.It was because he’d turn his bad behavior back on me and blame me saying he didn’t have to tell me everything, it was because I too felt he has been playing me, and holding on to me till someone else comes along. BUT Ive never been able to prove my fears. Hence why after reading some of the letters on this site I question myself


Laurna, NO, NO, NO, I said I DO NOT think you are a Sociopath. There is absolutely NOTHING in your post that sounds like you even remotely have sociopathic traits. YOU are NOT THE PROBLEM. I think you are intuitively picking up the signals your boyfriend is sending, but you are questionning yourself, rather than his dishonesty. LISTEN to your GUT FEELING about the guy. I believe you are right on target with your doubts about him.


Me Too


Laurna, YOU DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM!!!! HE DOES! Jen is right if you have that nagging, itchy, feeling there is a reason. Unlike what they say at the movies in this case it should be – “RUN, do not walk to the nearest exit”


Henry, Oxy wants her feet washed only because she’s been doing too much work at her place (LOL) and needs pampering to her aches and pains … maybe a massage wouldn’t be a bad idea too.

What a way to go Oxy.



Hi all. This is my first post. I’ve read a very large number of these posts and they all seem to fit my situation. I just want to post to release a bit. I’m in the process of going through a divorce with my sociopath wife – an extraordinary nightmare experience that most ordinary people just cannot understand. This woman read about me in a well known female magazine and figured out how to get ahold of me. She is world class beautiful physically, and a well educated, well spoken woman. Instant sex bingeing after we met. However, after a few months I noticed her extraordinary lack of emotional substance / intimacy was really strange. I suggested tantra and any other emotional intimacy work she could think of to break through this wierd shell. She always found excuses to do nothing. Within 5 months, she became pregnant deceitfully “while on the pill” – miscarriage, but we decided to stay together and we married about 9 months after meeting. We lived in different countries of Europe, but dated almost every weekend. I moved in with her after she became pregnant. Living with her was a very strange combination of nightmare and beautiful dream – I totally understand what other victims mean by this! My most difficult hurdle is realizing that she was an illusion, not reality – that helps me to move on from the extraordinary emotional and financial devastation she’s left me with. Nightmares: A) she had an STD and lied to me about it, B) she has a father and sister with serious/major schizophrenia and never told me before marriage, C) extraordinary unfaithfulness – you just wouldn’t believe – I’ve found her dancing topless with other men at clubs, naked in a men’s restroom stall, partially undressed at a club in a stairway, sitting on a marble countertop in the men’s restroom of a very nice restaurant with her skirt hiked up and a man leaving saying “you’re bold!”, etc…etc… A sex freak. D) pathological lier. E) zero human compassion, empathy, or emotional intimacy/intelligence – it’s like she’s emotionally hollow inside – no emotional understanding or intelligence, E) beautifully eloquent speaker, but when you focus on the specific words/phrases, they can often be nonsensical and contradictory – this really threw me for a loop, F) things would be going along great for a few weeks, then all of a sudden, like a lightning bolt from left field, she’d start a very nasty argument then sometimes explode into a physical rage – normally, she’s calm, cool, collected – a moderately successful professional. G) she could never give you anything that you thought was genuine heartfelt love, even though she professed “soulmate” love and tried hard to give it – I could just tell it wasn’t the real deal since I’ve experienced it many times before – a hollowness. H) when one of my daughters from a previous marriage told her she loved her, I could see the hollowness in her eyes, and it killed me – at that moment I thought I was doing my daughter great harm in some way – felt very very bad about exposing her to this strange situation that I didn’t understand at the time – I just knew it wasn’t right or genuine, and I was exposing a beautiful innocent to evil. The beautiful dream (a false hologram that never really existed): good sex – she is extraordinarily beautiful and exactly what I was looking for physically – well spoken and presentable for my situation – we enjoyed similar things – we could talk for hours and spend unending days together – we had a baby. The unravelling: horrifying divorce. I went away on a business trip – we were talking on the phone every night – very loving texts and talks like usual. When I return, Dr. Jekyll has turned into Mr. Hyde and I experience one of the most frightening and evil experiences I’ve ever had with a person. She venomously tells me she doesn’t love me anymore, that our marriage is over, and that I need to leave the house for a few days to let her clear her head – forces me out of the family house venomously. I’m beyond shocked. Beyond devastated. Puking sick. Speechless. I go to a hotel and return after a few days – wouldn’t answer my calls or communicate. She’s changed the door locks and won’t let me in to see my child, etc… She then hires a lawyer, who freezes my only sources of living funds, and I am left penniless (I’m very well off financially) – no money to even hire an attorney, with my car, and a few bags of clothing. I finally convince a hopeless attorney to take my case without retainer. It’s all happening in a non-US country, so justice is slow to non-existent. I have to live in my car for weeks on end, and live off the charity of friends. Eating tuna fish – many times when I’ve had to skip meals. Times I couldn’t afford the gas to move my car. If this can happen to a liquid cash millionaire, it can happen to ANYONE, including YOU. I’ve finally got access to some funds through the courts and have been able to fire the hopeless attorney and bring on a good one to achieve justice. She’s been a nightmare on access. She wouldn’t let me see my child for 5 months. I’ve wanted to kill myself. My experience is beyond “bad”.

Question: Sociopath parents often create sociopath children: I need to do everything I can to prevent this. I need to prove her “sociopathic” in court. Are there any definitive tests (not subjective psych questionnaires) such as EEG / brain scans that can prove sociopathy without subjectiveness?


Burnedbuns We so BELIEVE


My delusion lasted six YEARS seems more like sixty

Ox Drover

Dear Burned,

Welcome to lovefraud. I am glad you are here, this is a wonderful place for advice, knowledge (knowledge-Power) but I am very sorry that you have had such a horrible experience that you need to be here.

I suggest tht you go through all the archives and read the articles themselves, so that you can get a fairly quick over view, then for your child, you should see Dr. Leedom’s “parenting the at-risk child” (there is a big genetic component into psychopathic thinking) but it is not “predetermined” that your child will get all or any of those genes (it is more than one gene I am sure).

First of all. Take care of YOURSELF, if you are not whole, you can’t help your child. Take very good care of yourself emotionally, mentally and physically so that you will be able to do what needs to be done to protect your child. When we are frazzled and obscessed with all of this chaos that doesn’t make “sense” to us, we do not do our best thinking. We RE-act rather than ACT, and you need to ACT logically, rationally, and learn how these people think as much as any normal person can. They are in some ways very predictable.

No, there are as far as I know, no blood test, or EEG or brain scan that can pin point one, but a GOOD psych doctor who is familiar with them can do the PSychpathic Chest list, Revised (google Dr. Robert Hare) and this is accepted in the US as diagnostic. Sometimes though a sharp well spoken psychopath can fool someone who isn’t reall yGOOD and experienced in dealing with them. Happens all the time. I’m not sure what country you are in, but that will also have a bearing on what is accepted. Remember how she fooled you, she may be able to “fool” judges, lawyers, and courts as well. Some of them are VERY good.

Good luck, Burned and God bless you.


PET scan

detects frontal lobe brian activity or the ability to store information the “quote” normal way

Yes welcome and We are all Here for You


Dear Burned,

There are, as you can read, a lot of guys around here also that have been burned.

Female sociopaths are experts at using sex to make you hooked. (the heroin addiction metaphor).

I also live in a European country, please let us know where you are located. Perhaps we can pinpoint you to some useful resources.


OxDrover: thanks for those thoughts. you hit the nail on the head. It’s excruciatingly difficult to pull yourself together and take care of yourself emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I feel like I’m still crawling through the wreckage of a flaming 747 crash. I’m in the middle of some type of Post Traumatic Stress nightmare. Now that I’ve finally had some funds released in court, I can afford some therapy. I feel like I’m almost literally crawling out of a flaming plane crash – my mind isn’t sharp – can’t think very clearly – dull senses – just inching along. Did anyone see “Saving Private Ryan” and the horrifying storming of the Normandy beaches scene?
MRNICEGUY: to make it worse, I left Europe to go to this woman’s country, knowing nobody in that country. She did this to me within 9 months of moving my life to her country. When this happened, I was completely without a support group of friends or family – emotionally devastating experience with no friends or family within thousands of miles. I drove my car literally across North America with just enough cash to get to the closest good friend’s house – had to sleep in my car – ate peanut butter, bread and canned tuna fish. Just unimagineable. Guys, I’m a liquid cash millionaire. I have such a deep empathy for the homeless now. Just a life changing perspective on homelessness. If it can happen to me, I PROMISE YOU, it can happen to YOU. This woman is now trying to make a claim on my prenup trust, but I’ve got a good lawyer and am ok now. I’m now in a beautiful waterfront apt living nice again, but I’ve got a huge hole in me, and I’m emotionally shattered – can’t really enjoy anything. Like being in a recovery ward at a hospital – my mind a bit zombie-ish. I’ve come back to her city so I can be a full time dad with my 18 month old daughter – she gives me the only smiles and love I get, but it is fantastic – I was afraid she wouldn’t recognize me very well since I hadn’t seen her in 5 months, but the first meeting she stood there very quiet for about 30 seconds as I started whispering the silly things I used to say to her, then all of a sudden she remembered me and broke into a huge smile and hugged me. That moment was a lifesaver for me. Her hugs and smiles are gold to me. Don’t have any friends in this place. Just trying to regroup and rebuild somehow. I know I need trauma therapy, and that’s high on my list. Thanks for taking an interest guys.


Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is common after a sociopathic experience. I think therapy is a good idea (preferably cognitive behavioral therapy, as this therapy approach has scientific empirical evidence for its effectiveness).

You are right, this can happen to anybody. I have 7 years of higher education and am also a flight instructor. I remember feeling, in a power struggle with the female sociopath, that my rationality was at stake, that everything I had built up at University was at stake. In fact, it got to the point where my degrees didn’t matter anymore. It was like a different person had obtained all that. She manipulated me into believing I was a horrible person, and that she was a victim. That’s Stockholm Syndrome.

What followed was an intense darkness, loss of sleep, resignation, depression, hopelessness and a feeling that I as a person was wiped out. Now I use some medication that has let me sleep again, and also relax more.

I have read some speculation somewhere that there is some actual transfer of energy in a sociopathic exchange. That is, because they lack what we have, they suck us dry so to speak.

In the end, I am confident that you will become stronger because of this. The best solution to obtain healing is of course to adopt to the “no contact” policy, although that is understandably difficult when kids are involved. In any event, I am sure you will find a way past this.

Also, read the mentioned literature, especially The Sociopath Next Door. It’s good therapy and it gives you an understanding that it’s impossible to comprehend the inner landscape of a sociopath, and how they view the world.

Good luck to you Burned. I guess you have some resources that made you a millionaire and I promise you, you will get “it” back with time.


MrNiceGuy: You got it … that’s it in a nutshell … and healing yourself, being good to yourself, remembering your good qualities helps to remember what you are all about as you heal.

Peace to your heart and soul … I hate seeing good people sucked in by the likes of them and getting thrown off balance for years while they build themselves back up again … and it makes me cry, how many never make it up back again and do the total destructive spiral for the rest of their lives, or cut their lives short.

Peace and hugs.


I’m Jere and I approve of this message! :)~

Ox Drover

Dear Burned,

I am sure my “story” is buried so deep in the blogs it would be impossible for you to know any of it so I will quickly recap. I am a 61 yr old retired registered nurse practitioner, with quite a bit of mental health professional experience. My husband was burned to death in 2004in an airplane crash here at our farm/airport, I was the one who pulled him out. My son and two other friends were in the plane and terribly burned as well. PTSD is horrible. I was also attacked last year by my P-son and one of his P-friends (my son is still in prison) and his P-friend is also in prison) I had to flee my home to keep from getting murdered.

I finally found some therapy that actually HELPED, it is called RAPID EYE MOVEMENT THERAPY and it is especially for PTSD. Google it and see what you can find, there is quite a bit of stuff out there. I also have a friend who had terrible PTSD and he used the rapid eye movement therapy with great results too. It has made a VAST difference in my recovery.

I know exactly what you mean about “crawling around in the wreck” not knowing if you are dead or alive. Thinking and decision making are totally skewed and I suggest that you keep as much PEACE and SANITY in your life and as LITTLE STRESS as possible. It has been 4 1/2 years of CONTINUAL critical profound stress in my life, one crisis after another until August of last year it started to slow down with the arrest of the Trojan Horse Psychopath my son send into our family.

And only the last 12 months or so have I had TOTAL freedom from association with the psychopaths in my life. I have pretty much holed up here on my farm with one son and we have done our healing with therapy, antidepressants (medication has helped but is not the only answer but without it I couldn’t have survived) I highly suggest that you get evaluated for medications for depression etc.

Try to get your sleep patterns and eating patterns and exercise patterns regulated as much as possible. The lack of sleep will make you “crazy” it itself. Since you are apparently eithe rnot able or required to work at a job, make revcovery your job. I had to retire from work, primarily because I had NO SHORT TERM MEMORY. That is improving but still not where I could work if I wanted to, at a job responsible for people’s lives. I might could work as a Wal Mart greeter, but that would be about the extent of my job capabilities. LOL

So, I have focused on my healing, physically, spiritually, and mentally. Oh, and I got a case of Rocky mountain Spotted fever last summer and got really really ill. The stress causes the immune system to crap out, so be sure to get a flu shot and any necessary precautions for your health. Don’t ignore any physical complaints. I ran fevers for months before I even realized I was doing so. (like I said, your ability to think goes down the toilet)

Hang in there, too, it DOES GET BETTER, but it takes work. The road to recovery is bumpy, filled with pot holes etc.

Also, Google “grief process” and look and read about the steps and the way “grief” is processed in the human mind. That will give you some ideas of what to expect.

Going through this kind of trauma and grief without knowing what to expect, is like going into labor with a baby and not knowing what is coming or how to expect the pain to be or how long to last. Good luck, Burned, and God bless you in your healing path. KNOWLEDGE=POWER=HEALING


Dear Burned buns,
Certain aspects of your story reminds me alot of my own..

It’s really strange how you can read all these stories and posts and they are all so similar…It helps so much to know how many other good people have survived the same twisted,hollow and malignant beings that are referred to as “sociopaths”..

The Dali Llama has said that sociopaths have “an incomplete human experience”..

I wish you the best…I am 3 months out of my S relationship and have PTSD, trying to take it a day at a time.. much soul searching and prayer…

Try to stay physically and mentally healthy..Try to get enough sleep,eat right and get excercise…Pray ( or meditate)and read as much as you can about sociopaths… This website is truly awesome for both education and healing…

God bless…


Wow. What great insights from the other bloggers here. What great comfort I get in knowing I’m not the only one who’s gone through it – even though I’m terribly sorry you’ve all had to go through this. Makes me want to give a big bear hug to people who’ve gone through this encounter with evil incarnate. I’ve learned empathy out of this. Makes me want to counsel others. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s somehow a huge relief to know there is a medical reason behind this – she’s basically inhuman. Helps me to move on emotionally and not regret loss of relationship.

Maybe this sounds a bit odd, but: I find alot of people on this site are deeply connected to God in some way. Is it possible that these inhuman sociopaths are a product of darkness given the mandate to attack good people? I know it may sound odd. Just my observation on this site.


MRNICEGUY: You wouldn’t be a Brit in The Netherlands would you? Leiden?

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