Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.
By OxDrover
In the Bible the story of Adam and Eve living in the Garden of Eden, in perfect paradise, is a story familiar to most children who have gone to Bible school at one point or another in their lives. If you take that same story, though, and look at it through adult eyes, you can see that there is a great moral to this tale, whether you believe it as a “creation” story or not.
Before the “fall,” Adam and Eve had only dealt with a loving God/Creator who had given them a wonderful place to live in peace and plenty. They were naked and innocent in this paradise on earth. They were given an occupation of “dressing the garden” and only given one warning that they must not disobey, and that was to not eat from the tree of the “Knowledge of Good and Evil,” for if they did not heed this warning, they would die.
The original psychopath, Satan, in the disguise of a serpent, like all villains shows up on the scene. We know about psychopaths and we know that Satan personified this personality disorder, because he saw someone who was happy and prosperous, but naïve, and he wanted to bring about their downfall. Not for any gain or motive we can perceive on his own part, but simply to have someone else believe his lies and suffer for that belief. He wanted to enjoy the downfall of someone else. That was his “reward” for telling the lies to Eve, to get Eve to disregard the warning she had received from God ”¦ just as our psychopaths lie to us to get us to not heed the instinctive intuitive warnings we get when we catch them in a lie, or something doesn’t feel right.
How did Satan accomplish his task? The story tells us that Satan was “more subtle than any beast of the field.” ”¦ ”and he said unto the woman, ‘Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?'” Satan knew this was not true, but he was setting her up with a conversation starter he knew she would respond to.
The woman said, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden, but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said ”˜Ye shall not eat of it’”¦or ye shall surely die.”
The serpent said unto the woman, “Ye shall not surely die, for God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and she shall be as gods, knowing Good and Evil.” Here the psychopath, as they all do, tells Eve that the warning from God is for God’s benefit, because God wants to “keep the best stuff” for himself and that if she will just not heed the warning not to eat of the forbidden fruit, she will be equal with God.
Here Satan is creating a need in this woman, and holding the hope of accomplishing that need in Eve. Before Satan’s lie to her, Eve wasn’t unhappy, and she had no desires that weren’t met. She didn’t even desire to be “as gods,” but now she has started to desire something that Satan appears to be offering her.
How many times have our psychopaths held out to us a “prize” that we start to desire? A desire that they have created a fantasy of, and lied to us that they know the way for us to achieve this desire, our heart’s desire. Is it a perfect soul mate? A perfect love? A perfect marriage? A perfect business arrangement? A perfect child? The perfect restoration of something we have lost? What was the desire in you that the psychopath created with their lies?
“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her and he did eat.”
“And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked.”
Adam and Eve immediately knew that they had been had. They knew they were naked, and they did now know the difference between Good and Evil. They knew that they had been tricked, that Satan had done them in completely, and that there was no going back to naiveté. You can’t UN-ring a bell.
While Adam and Eve tried to find a way to hide themselves from God and the consequences of their disobedience and naiveté, Satan skipped off on his merry way, having accomplished what he desired, the destruction of human kind. The taking away of the innocence of humanity. The bringing of death to the world.
However, though Satan brought evil into the world of man, humanity also received the knowledge that will protect us in that fall from grace. We have the knowledge of Good and Evil. We can choose our path.
The psychopaths in our lives who have attacked us because we didn’t have a proper knowledge of their evil intentions when they started to destroy us for their own purposes, their own selfish games, have given us the same “fruit” that Eve in her naiveté ate, the wisdom of the knowledge of Good and Evil.
While Eve in the Bible story paid a stiff price for her knowledge by being cast from paradise into the world, we also have paid a stiff price for this knowledge, some of us in terms of money and property, all of us in terms of pain and emotional devastation. Just as Eve must have berated herself for being so naïve and stupid for doing something she had been told not to, we berate ourselves for being so naïve and stupid in ignoring the warnings we also generally had all along. Why did we not heed the warnings, just as Eve did not heed God’s warning not to eat the fruit?
Just as Eve, after the fall, had to learn to live in the real world, the world that is not paradise, that contains evil people, selfish people, even her own son, Cain, who killed her other son, Abel, we as former victims of the psychopath have to learn to live in the real world and to distinguish what is good from what is evil. We have to learn from our experience with our own personal version of Satan, and our own version of our fall from grace, to know what is truly important in life. To use this hard-won knowledge of Good and Evil to make us stronger and better people.
We are no longer naïve people who don’t know about red flags of warnings of psychopaths. We are no longer willing to trust others indiscriminately or lightly as Eve trusted the lying words of her own Satan. We are no longer willing to fail to listen to the instinctive cries of our own intuition about danger.
We have knowledge that we have gotten the hard way, and hard-won knowledge is a lesson that will stick to us forever. It is up to us to use this life’s lesson in Psychopath 101 for our own and others’ benefits.
Shekan
no you don’t have to be vague, I post here about how my exP is a drug dealer, childmolester and kills people. He flies a helicopter without any license except the medical. He doesn’t ever do anything the legal way, even if it were easier. He would rather do it illegally even if he has to jump through hoops.
You can be honest here, after all no one knows your name.
shabbychic,
Enjoy the outdoors – it’s cold where I live, so I’ll water my plants in the house, loving gardening too! There are some pebbles that I can put in the pots, beautifying the plants a little bit more (knowing what you’re trying to relay to us).
Yeah. Sometimes it’s hard to discern if it’s a good time to garden, but just to make sure my collards don’t whither, I’m gonna play it on the safe side, too.
I love the ornamental use of rocks in gardens. I love the English garden look. Unfortunately, we have no rocks here,(no mountains) so I’ve had to simulate gray rock, and bring in synthetics.
Synthetic gray rock, it is.
Sky, I posted a response to you about, “Good Country People” on another thread. Am anxious to hear what you think.
Kim,
I would like to respond, I did see that, but I’d like to give it more thought and I don’t have the luxury of that right at the moment. Got to go to work and then an appt.
The story as been percolating in my mind since you told me about it. My “feeling” for Joy/Hulga is solidifying. The picture is crystalizing and I’m beginning to relate to the different aspects of her narcissism, which began when she was very young… perhaps before her accident.
one step is down with this year’s version of H1N1. will be back when i can sit up longer. xo
Gotcha, Sky.
I may not be able to access your reply till Monday, so, if you post it, remember where you put it, so that I can find it, okay?
Or, you could just wait til then. Either way is fine.
I love this stuff!
(((((one-step/joy)))))). Sorry you are under the weather. Hope you feel better, real soon.
Hello Too the (Gang) Just an update..I CAN SEE – I CAN SEE !! I had my eye surgery a few days ago and it is like being reborn..I am so excited I had no idea my eyesight was so poor…I will never complain about anything ever again – well not for awhile anyways….
Kim
I’m not home. Typing from my phone so bear with me.
Mrs Hopewell is the reason that Joy is a narcissist. I’m not exactly sure what caused it since she is fictional. Perhaps it was her refusal to see joy as she really is. It wasn’t personal, Mrs H doesn’t see ANYTHING as it really is. She would rather put on her rose colored glasses and hope all will be well. Joy wants to be acknowledged for who she is and experiences her mother’s attitude as rejection, this happened as soon as she was born. And it was her first shame in her life. From that point on she is a narcissist too. Being raised by narcissists is a prerequisite to being one. Mrs Hopewell’s narcissism shows in her determination to create her own reality. And joy’s centers around her inflated view of her intellect.
That is her hook. The hook is always what you do to make yourself feel better about your narcisstic injuries. Joy went and got herself a PHD. She changed her name as a way to force her mom to acknowledge her real and damaged self, but it didn’t work. Joy. Makes herself feel better by putting herself above the salt of the earth. Interesting that she climbed her own pedestal, just to prove she could, and that was exactly where Manley wanted her. So he could figuratively knock her down.
This is a great story because it is about a victim of an obvious psychopath but it reveals the victim’s hooks even more than it reveals the P’s thinking. I do love the way he demands that she say she loves him. He has to have that before he can destroy her. And he seems to revert to childhood when he kisses her, that part rings true. At the end when he says he got a woman’s glass eye, you realize that he looks for cripples, actually emotional cripples, by looking for the facades that his victims use to cover their injuries, defects and shame.
Thinking about Joy has been a wake up call to me to be ever more vigilant about the way I present myself. And that can only be adjusted by adjusting how I think about myself. It’s really hard to view one’s self honestly. I doubt that Joy came crawling back to the house with a new and improved attitude. More likely she came back more enraged than ever at this new narcissitic injury.