Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.
By OxDrover
In the Bible the story of Adam and Eve living in the Garden of Eden, in perfect paradise, is a story familiar to most children who have gone to Bible school at one point or another in their lives. If you take that same story, though, and look at it through adult eyes, you can see that there is a great moral to this tale, whether you believe it as a “creation” story or not.
Before the “fall,” Adam and Eve had only dealt with a loving God/Creator who had given them a wonderful place to live in peace and plenty. They were naked and innocent in this paradise on earth. They were given an occupation of “dressing the garden” and only given one warning that they must not disobey, and that was to not eat from the tree of the “Knowledge of Good and Evil,” for if they did not heed this warning, they would die.
The original psychopath, Satan, in the disguise of a serpent, like all villains shows up on the scene. We know about psychopaths and we know that Satan personified this personality disorder, because he saw someone who was happy and prosperous, but naïve, and he wanted to bring about their downfall. Not for any gain or motive we can perceive on his own part, but simply to have someone else believe his lies and suffer for that belief. He wanted to enjoy the downfall of someone else. That was his “reward” for telling the lies to Eve, to get Eve to disregard the warning she had received from God ”¦ just as our psychopaths lie to us to get us to not heed the instinctive intuitive warnings we get when we catch them in a lie, or something doesn’t feel right.
How did Satan accomplish his task? The story tells us that Satan was “more subtle than any beast of the field.” ”¦ ”and he said unto the woman, ‘Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?'” Satan knew this was not true, but he was setting her up with a conversation starter he knew she would respond to.
The woman said, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden, but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said ”˜Ye shall not eat of it’”¦or ye shall surely die.”
The serpent said unto the woman, “Ye shall not surely die, for God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and she shall be as gods, knowing Good and Evil.” Here the psychopath, as they all do, tells Eve that the warning from God is for God’s benefit, because God wants to “keep the best stuff” for himself and that if she will just not heed the warning not to eat of the forbidden fruit, she will be equal with God.
Here Satan is creating a need in this woman, and holding the hope of accomplishing that need in Eve. Before Satan’s lie to her, Eve wasn’t unhappy, and she had no desires that weren’t met. She didn’t even desire to be “as gods,” but now she has started to desire something that Satan appears to be offering her.
How many times have our psychopaths held out to us a “prize” that we start to desire? A desire that they have created a fantasy of, and lied to us that they know the way for us to achieve this desire, our heart’s desire. Is it a perfect soul mate? A perfect love? A perfect marriage? A perfect business arrangement? A perfect child? The perfect restoration of something we have lost? What was the desire in you that the psychopath created with their lies?
“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her and he did eat.”
“And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked.”
Adam and Eve immediately knew that they had been had. They knew they were naked, and they did now know the difference between Good and Evil. They knew that they had been tricked, that Satan had done them in completely, and that there was no going back to naiveté. You can’t UN-ring a bell.
While Adam and Eve tried to find a way to hide themselves from God and the consequences of their disobedience and naiveté, Satan skipped off on his merry way, having accomplished what he desired, the destruction of human kind. The taking away of the innocence of humanity. The bringing of death to the world.
However, though Satan brought evil into the world of man, humanity also received the knowledge that will protect us in that fall from grace. We have the knowledge of Good and Evil. We can choose our path.
The psychopaths in our lives who have attacked us because we didn’t have a proper knowledge of their evil intentions when they started to destroy us for their own purposes, their own selfish games, have given us the same “fruit” that Eve in her naiveté ate, the wisdom of the knowledge of Good and Evil.
While Eve in the Bible story paid a stiff price for her knowledge by being cast from paradise into the world, we also have paid a stiff price for this knowledge, some of us in terms of money and property, all of us in terms of pain and emotional devastation. Just as Eve must have berated herself for being so naïve and stupid for doing something she had been told not to, we berate ourselves for being so naïve and stupid in ignoring the warnings we also generally had all along. Why did we not heed the warnings, just as Eve did not heed God’s warning not to eat the fruit?
Just as Eve, after the fall, had to learn to live in the real world, the world that is not paradise, that contains evil people, selfish people, even her own son, Cain, who killed her other son, Abel, we as former victims of the psychopath have to learn to live in the real world and to distinguish what is good from what is evil. We have to learn from our experience with our own personal version of Satan, and our own version of our fall from grace, to know what is truly important in life. To use this hard-won knowledge of Good and Evil to make us stronger and better people.
We are no longer naïve people who don’t know about red flags of warnings of psychopaths. We are no longer willing to trust others indiscriminately or lightly as Eve trusted the lying words of her own Satan. We are no longer willing to fail to listen to the instinctive cries of our own intuition about danger.
We have knowledge that we have gotten the hard way, and hard-won knowledge is a lesson that will stick to us forever. It is up to us to use this life’s lesson in Psychopath 101 for our own and others’ benefits.
Dear Elizabeth,
You are so right, and that is the thing, those VERY VERSES that I saw not only ALLOWED but demanded that I go NC with my mother. I TRIED to go to the Church, but her “mask of piety” is so well glued on in PUBLIC that I could not get anyone to listen to me. She had smeared me to the church soo completely in favor of the DIL and the Trojan HOrse P that even after the arrest of those two “brothers” my name was STILL mud. Now I am receiving cards from the members of the church wanting me to come back and telling me how much they love me, and so is my son C now that he is home from out of state.
The thing is, THEY WOULD STILL NOT LISTEN TO ME, and still accept her word that I am some sort of greedy, abusive daughter to this “saint” of a woman. I am sure this recent rash of cards from the church (signed by all the members present that day, including her) were sent at her request. Since my eldest son went NC totally with her after his last visit with her and a confrontation about her sending money to my P-son (which is just as good as loading bullets into a gun to blow our brains out) my son left her house and “slammed the door.” Which is what he had told her a year ago he would do if she continued to send money (“bullets”) to my P-son.
I’m not sure if she thought that she could get away with it, and us not know, or if she didn’t think he meant what he said when he told her that if she did, it was the last she would see of him. Not that he trusted her or wanted much contact with her, but he was having some little bit of contact with her in an effort to KEEP HER FROM SENDING MONEY TO THE P-son.
He said that as he walked out she was calling behind him “Please don’t go.” I think she is so trauma bonded to my P-son as a substitute for her deceased abusive brother that it is an ADDICTION that will not be easily (at all?) ever broken. She is deep in denial about my son’s involvement with the plot to kill me (and probably her as well) even though she READ THE LETTERS MY P-SON WROTE TO THE TROJAN HORSE PSYCHOPATH. And, there is NO doubt about his involvement. She has “conveniently” forgotten all this. I am actually not sure how much is denial and how much is organic brain syndrome of her age. I know she has some pretty significant short term memory problems, but not enough to qualify her as “senile” or “demented” by legal standards, she still at this point could pass a mental status exam. While the Trojan Horse was there though,, she was so drugged out on medications the TH-P was giving her that she couldn’t have passed even a basic quick mental status exam. Her mind cleared up within 24 hours of him being put out of her house by the judge, and as soon as he came back she became “senile” again until he was arrested.
I think more churches should practice “shunning” of members who behave in illegal and immoral ways, preying on others, however, I don’t know many that do practice this, as unless someone goes to jail for robbery, they are seldom sanctioned by the church, and in the case of my lying X-DIL, after she wrote her letter of “apology” to the church, “all was forgiven” immediately….even without any CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR on her part. I firmly believe that her “religion” was based entirely on trying to put up a front and con my mother into believing that my mother had “saved her soul” (now pass the money, please—and boy O boy, did mom do that!) New Car, $10,000 worth of dental work, and so on….to say nothing of the $24,000 that she STOLE from my mother! LOL
So now, my son C is paying off my mother for the money she lost because of my DIL. For him it is a debt of “honor”—personally, I think he should tell my mother to stick it, as she is the one who gave the DIL the opportunity to steal from her, and the car she “loaned” the money to the DIL to buy, which sold for only about half what DIL paid for it, and my son is paying off the rest of that debt as well.
I am proud that my son is such an honorable man, but frankly I think my mother should bear the loss of her money for making such bad judgment “loans” to the two psychopaths rather than my son bearing the loss entirely.
Now Serpents are Revealed to be Wise??
Satan took the form of the Serpent in Paradise !
A snake is 100 percent Instinc. Doves are Food= bottom of food chain.
Snakes actively hunt , passively lye in ambush , Mimic color and patern , display false color paterns of venimus snakes ! Wise is not a snake ! Good at what It does inorder to Survive , that is it! Love JJ
Dear Ox Drover,
I don’t believe in church orchestrated shunnings, because those are often used against targets of S/P/Ns in leadership. Further, they’re rarely done in the way Paul intended.
I do believe that individuals have a responsibility to go discretely NC when they know they’re dealing with a S/P/N.
I think you’re smart to stay away from Mom’s church. They need to state that they understand that they were mistaken in their beliefs assumptions and need to treat you differently in the future. Even then, it would be better if you were cordial but different. Another church could serve you and your son Charlie better.
Oh My Gosh!
Nothing is Worse than P with a Bible! :)~ Love JJ
Hi Southerman:
I remember seeing the video you made and being so moved. Can you send me the site address again?
Go to http://www.myspace.com/southernman429
My blog links are on the upper right of my page. The video you are looking for is part of the blog called “Be Here Now”
You might also enjoy the newest one “The Greatest Gift Of Love”
You may also see them at Youtube
Be Here Now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpdljN7xz-0
The Greatest Gift Of Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4ZhdiaT34o
I am currently creating a video blog based on the song “Broken Arrow” From Robbie Robertson’s 1987 debut album of the same name.
When an agreement was reached between two Native American groups that were in conflict with one another and since the Native Americans didn’t use writing, they would break a single arrow in half to represent that peace had been agreed upon between the two parties. This would bring an end to the conflict between them.
I see God’s salvation through Christ as that broken arrow on our behalf and that is the concept behind my video/blog.
the lyrics are as follows
Who else is gonna bring you a broken arrow
Who else is gonna bring you a bottle of rain
There he goes moving across the water
There he goes turning my whole world around
Do you feel what I feel
Can we make it so that’s part of the deal
I gotta hold you in these arms of steel
Lay your heart on the line this time
I wanna breathe when you breathe
When you whisper like that hot summer breeze
Count the beads of sweat that cover me
Didn’t you show me a sign this time
{Refrain}
Can you see what I see
Can you cut behind the mystery
I will meet you by the witness tree
Leave the whole world behind
I want to come when you call
I’ll get to you if I have to crawl
They can’t hold me with these iron walls
We got mountains to climb, to climb
{Refrain}
Turning my whole world around
Turning my whole world around
Turning my whole world around
Indigoblue,
“Now Serpents are Revealed to be Wise??”
That’s the King James Translation. Sometimes it is helpful to understand that when we read the Bible in English, we’re reading a translation.
The NIV reads
Matthew 10:16 I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
Perhaps shrewd is a description of snakes you can be comfortable with.
The point to the verse is not to lionize snakes or doves. The point to the verse is to understand that it is God’s intention for His people that we be both good and sensible. I’ve got doves who nest in our yard each spring. Boy, they are awful parents. Their offspring rarely survive. I’m betting Jesus knew them to be the same way. Doves are sweet, but dumb. Therefore he instructed his disciples to use their brains as well as their hearts.
The P/S/Ns of the world would vastly prefer that you simply use your heart and ignore your brains. There are a lot of church “leaders” who will urge you to do exactly that. The P/S/Ns of the world hope you’ll never read your Bible, and if you do, you’ll let them “interpret” it for you. In that way they can use you to do their will, and ignore God’s.
The Bible is not trying to make snakes out to be evil or good. They’re merely symbols. Note that modern medicine’s caduceus is derived from both Biblical and Pagan references to snakes being a medium for healing. (Moses had to make a copper serpent for the Israelites to look at when bitten by poisonous snakes, during a plague that God had sent, in order to be cured.)
Ancient people tended to think of snakes as having the power to heal themselves of leprosy, because of the ability to shed their old, shabby looking skin for a new one… do I digress, regress or merely ramble on?
Any how, the point isn’t the snakes. The point of Jesus’ remark was be good AND be sensible.
Southernman429: Thanks for sharing your site. You’ve added more than the last time I viewed it.
Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
For Christmas, I thought you would enjoy the following?
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly.
Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.
It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church.
Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality so the children could remember.
-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit–Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit–Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles’ Creed.
From one Pisces to another!
Peace.
OMG….situation changed here, 7.30 phone rang, recognised the voice but didnt twig, voice says” am I having the rest of my stuff” I say “what stuff there nothinghere now f off”
Am I seeing my daughter over Chrsitmas he says, fuck off and see a solicitor I say and hang up….on 1471 I find its the pay ophone from around the corner from my house, I know this because my daughter often calls from it….Half hour later my daughter says she has just seen him walk slowly past and look throught the window, spotted her and hurried off.
I immediately went in to fight or flight mode, shaking, heart hammering, dry mouth and now I am on edge.
I dont usually rebuff him after so long apart…been just under a week, I dont know how it willplay out because it doesbnt usually go like this..
Determined if a little anxious, sleep will probably not come easy tonight.
Add to that the baby for the first time sence he went said i miss dad and i want him to come home, her lip gibbed and I felt wretched knowing i could easily mend her broken heart…abeit temporarily.
Dear Muldoon,
I understand your fear and your anxiety, for sure. I hid out for quite some time in fear of my life, but keep calm if you can at all. Fear makes us not think as straight as we otherwise would. A little fear is a good thing, a lot is counterproductive.
Take some deep breaths and get “centered.” I’m not sure if you have a cell phone, but if you do, make sure the emergency number isprogrammed into it so that it is a one button push. Keep it with you.
If you have a land line, stay close to it. Bar the doors and windows as best you can. Turn on all outside lights and leave the inside lights off. As bestyou can make sure he cannot see into the house. Hang blankets over the windows if youo have to to block his view.
If you have multiple doors or windows he might jimmy open, do what you can to block them so if he does get in it will make noise. With the house dark you can scatter chairs or pots and pans for him to trip over, or clothes line rope, anything to trip him up.
Make sure if he gets into the house that you and the children have an exit that you can get to so that you are not trapped in a place you cant get out of.
I know it is tough when your children cry for the psychopath, but if they had a pet snake and you found it was poison, you would get rid of it before it bit them, even if they cried and cried for that pet reptile wouldn’t you? Well in this case, their dad is poison and HE WILL BITE THEM EVENTUALLY. It is better for them to be sad for a while than to live a life with him and see you abused and themselves abused as well.
Do for your children what might be difficult to do for yourself.
I also suggest that in the future you not answer the phone unless it is a number you can identify. No strange number calls. Also I suggest that you do not speak to him if at all possible, and if you do, DO NOT PROVOKE HIM or call him names it will only incite him more and “justify” to him whatever mean thing he does to you.
Is there somewhere else you can go for the night or a few nights? If so I would suggest that you go there. Make sure your car is safe if you have one. Get your handy-dandy oven cleaner or base ball bat or whatever you can muster for self defense ready and handy.
If not, tell a neighbor that you are afraid and why and ask them to keep an eye out. If you need to stay on LF all night and there will probably be someone here to “hold your cyber hand” (hugs)))) and my prayers are with you.