Perhaps, deep in our hearts, we always believed in “love at first sight.” Then we met that person who seemed to be everything we ever wanted, and who felt the same way about us. It’s destiny! We’re soul mates!
If this is what you’re hearing, you may need to watch the newest Lovefraud video.
Donna, this was an excellent video. I realize that time is a constraint when making these videos. There just isn’t enough time to actually go into how spaths make their targets believe in the sudden soulmate scenario.
IMHO, a full documentary series would be so helpful. I’m talking about a seven part discussion of sociopathy, and everything that goes along with it. NOT a talk show….jeezus criminy, talk shows have run their courses! But, discussions that you host with your featured writer Staff, especially the professionals that post articles on LoveFraud.com.
Although I’ve noticed that laypeople recognize the term, “sociopathy,” the misconception is almost concrete as to who and what a spath truly is. They invariably believe that spaths are people like Ted Bundy, Aileen Whatshername, Susan Smith, John Wayne Gacey, and Jeff Dahmer. Laypeople (and, even some professionals) maintain that mom, dad, sibling, friend, coworker, physician, or anyone that is not sitting on Death Row cannot possibly be a sociopath and is simply misunderstood.
Thank you for putting so much time and effort into these videos, Donna. I’m posting the links wherever I can – in emails, on FaceTube, etc…..
Brightest blessings!
Thanks Truthspeak! I’m trying to use all the tools I can to reach people. Spread the word!
Donna, technology is a great thing, in many instances. I know that the videos have primarily focused on the “romantic” love fraud, but will there be discussion about the non-romantic spath, as well?
Brightest blessings, and thanks again…..you rock
Truthspeak – Yes. Unfortunately, with sociopaths, we never run out of topics to discuss.
Donna – this so nailed what happened in the beginning. I was going through a divorce and this man paid attention to me – he listened as I shared my hopes and dreams – I talked to him about the things I wanted to do in my life now that the anchor that was my ex would be somewhat lifted…(not totally as I have children with the ex)… I spoke about wanting to live in Europe at some point – well lo and behold Mr. Wonderful owns family property there and is going to build a home using plans from his dad some day… And on and on it went – I would share about liking to cook or garden or wanting to build my own house or whatever it was and somehow he related and wow don’t you know he was going to facilitate so many of my dreams and wouldn’t it be fun to do together???
This is what made breaking off so hard to do – as I felt like I was giving up all the dreams I had because he had wrapped himself into them so letting go of him meant letting go of them in my mind / heart. Obviously that is not the truth but detaching him from my heart’s greatest wishes and desires – so hard to do. It felt physically painful for awhile. He was always holding the carrot of my dreams just out of reach and I was leaping and leaping trying to get to them – and eventually he added a stick to the mix….
I am dating a wonderful man today. He and I could not be less well matched when it comes to those kinds of things – he is a city boy and I’m a country girl – he is into newer music and I like country and pop – he is a bit flashy and modern in his tastes for clothing and furniture and I’m classic and understated.
What we do have is a relationship based on shared intellect, humor, principles, kindness and yes of course there is physical attraction but that is not the basis for the relationship. He treats me with warmth and love and supports me in doing the things I want to do – he is proud of my accomplishments and when I am feeling overwhelmed and down he tells me how much he admires me and all that I do. He wants for me to be happy. A world of difference and it took me a long time to get used to being treated well by a drama free stable person versus love bombed by a maniac.
Makes me realise what a sitting duck I truly was. Oh dear, he must have been rubbing his hands together with glee.
Tut
strongawoman: oh yes, being this far away from the situation, I can look back and clearly see how vulnerable I was to a psychopath. Absolutely. It makes my spine curl to even think about having something like that so close to me, NOW.
And, I am not one who is easily frightened and scared away. BUT: standing this far away now and looking back, what a sitting duck I made myself! All based upon trust. Imagine that….
That trust was used against me as a weapon and than laughed about and thrown in my face as a delightful mockery in the end. But, you know, as well as I do, that the mockery isn’t upon us…we KNOW where the real mockery is but we are unlike them because we don’t gloat in their misfortunes. That makes us bigger and stronger and wiser. That makes us so much more than they will ever hope and pray to be.
I almost allowed it to devour me.
Entirely. I can’t believe this has happened.
But then, it has and it has been like getting knocked
upside the head with a two by four!
I am finding the reality that he doesn’t and never has loved me. He despises me and that is why he came into my world. He wanted to devour me and everything about me because I am too strong for him. I am stronger than he can only dream of becoming. Women aren’t suppose to be that strong. Least not according to him. Well, isn’t that really just too bad?
“Sitting Duck” I am, no more.
And hopefully, neither are you.
I know what lies behind the mask, now….
It is one of the most frightening horror stories I can think of.
If I were to write it all down, people would never believe the ‘painting’ my words would portray….
sometimes, even now, I find myself doubting it myself….
Peace and happiness to you strongawoman…
Stay safe and find that peaceful spot in life that is only all yours.
Love ~
Dupey
Strongawoman and Dupey, I am utterly terrified of another spath entanglement, whether it’s romantic or otherwise. I cannot afford another emotional outlay, and I won’t risk one.
Truthspeak: I can absolutely ROGER THAT!
(Caps used for emphasis)
Hang in there…
Keep yourself safe.
Dupester
Very interesting, and definitely resonates with me after previous experience with spaths.
I wanted to ask the advice of the good people here, if it’s not too much trouble: four months ago, I met someone who I’d known online for over a year or two (we are part of a ‘group’ who got to know each other online, all of us had the same sense of humour and interests etc). We all met up 4 months ago at a friend’s wedding. He was just coming out of a long-term relationship at this point. I hung out with everyone that weekend but after I got home he and I talked a lot online, and soon he said that he was really interested in me. I felt a similar way but didn’t want to rush into anything as I didn’t know him *that* well. He was coming out with some very intense statements about how much he liked me, and soon it grew into declarations of love. I spent a weekend with him two months ago and it was really nice and I realised I felt the same way (though I am keeping a distance). We live very far apart so we can meet up now and again and I’m seeing him this weekend.
But my question is, is he genuine? I had done my best, since my experience with several spaths, to weed out anyone remotely like that or who set off my alarm bells. And everyone in that group of friends has a good opinion of him and has known him for years and he’s never done anything to make them worried/doubt that he’s a good bloke. So I do want to believe that this is a great guy, but it’s just the speed at which he came out with those intense feelings. Is it possible for there to be genuine people like that? I don’t want to get rid of someone from my life who might actually be fantastic just because of past bad experience.