By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS
I’m a mental health practitioner, and while researching family therapy journals for research on cognitive behavioral therapy approaches, I came across a concept called the “Malicious Parent Syndrome.” It described how some divorcing and already divorced parents actively work to turn their children against the other parent. It sounded very much like how sociopaths engage in parental alienation.
Characteristics of malicious parent syndrome
The concept of Malicious Parent Syndrome was developed between 1995 and 1999 by a psychologist named Ira Turkat, who specialized in family law disputes, false allegations and relationship poisoning. His 1999 article in the Journal of Family Violence, Divorce-Related Malicious Parent Syndrome, defined its criteria:
- The disordered parent will enlist third parties through child services, the courts, and law enforcement to create a vicious smear campaign to falsely implicate the targeted parent for child abuse and neglect.
- He or she will lie to school administrators and staff so that the targeted parent will have limited involvement with the child in school activities and make false claims to those in authority. They are usually exceptional at recordkeeping and documentation to gain more ammunition against targeted parent.
- The malicious parent (MP) will lie to their own children daily about the targeted parent in a way that seems believable to their young ears, while creating fear and dread in anticipation of spending custody time with that parent. This can cause psychological damage in the children.
- The MP has not been formally diagnosed with any other mental illness, which makes the behavior increasingly malignant in nature.
The malicious parent clearly intends to harm the targeted parent, but sadly, in the process, the children are harmed even more so through exploitation by the MP as objects. The MP sees the children only to serve one purpose only, to fulfill his or her wishes and align themselves with whatever narrative suits the MP at that moment. And with Malicious Parent Syndrome, spiteful acts and defamation of the other parent is the highlighted agenda.
Parental alienation
Malicious Parent Syndrome is not a recognized psychological disorder. The result of this behavior on the child is described as Parental Alienation Syndrome. This is defined as “a mental condition in which a child, usually one whose parents are engaged in a high-conflict divorce, aligns himself or herself strongly with one parent and rejects a relationship with the other parent, without legitimate justification.” Parental alienation isn’t recognized as a psychological disorder either — much to the frustration of families who are living it.
Read more: Sociopaths and parental alienation
Some of the behaviors associated with Malicious Parent Syndrome and parental alienation may be illegal, depending on the country and state. An article on FindLaw.com explains that interfering with court-ordered visitation rights, for example, could result in fines or court-ordered counseling. But these violations usually end up in lengthy civil proceedings, not criminal court.
Both men and women can have malicious parent syndrome
Originally, Turkat identified the phenomenon in women, but then realized that disordered men behave in the same manner. Turkat sought to identify and describe a condition where one parent acts purposefully and vengefully towards the other during or following divorce. He noted that the disordered parent would often go to extreme lengths and harm their children, just so blame could be placed on the non-disordered parent. The result is constant and never-ending litigation. (Please see my previous article on Lovefraud, The Sociopathic Behavior of Munchausen by Proxy.)
Malicious Parent Syndrome and Cluster B disorders
It appears that this behavior is highly indicative of the Cluster B disorders listed in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association):
- antisocial personality disorder — disregard for rules, laws, and personal rights of others
- borderline personality disorder — black and white thinking, unstable sense of self
- histrionic personality disorder — excessive attention seeking and emotionality
- narcissistic personality disorder — strong sense of entitlement, delusions of grandeur and greatness
All Cluster B disorders are highly manipulative, self-serving, and erratic — and all four tend to overlap.
Could Malicious Parent Syndrome be an addiction?
Sociopaths are on a spectrum, with the most severe being psychopaths. There is a link between sociopaths and addiction. Addicted individuals tend to engage in behaviors that substitute harmful behaviors for love. Addicts need their supply and seek that above all things, even love.
Sociopaths lack empathy, and therefore cannot love. So, I think this could explain that the MP is on quest to fill a deep hole of emptiness that can never be filled, since the MP does not have the ability to love and cannot make love a priority. The MP seeks to punish the alienated parent (this is the reward) until all supply is exhausted (money, material goods, 100% custody), harming their own children psychologically and emotionally in the process.
Although Turkat did not link sociopathic behavior to MPS and there are no studies to make a definitive connection, the fact that sociopaths and MP’s do not allow love to be the driving force in their life seems to make it highly likely that Malicious Parent Syndrome is sociopathic in nature.
http://fact.on.ca/Info/pas/turkat95.htm Although this is from 1995, it is an excellent reference for blog article!
The behavior mentioned in this article has been deeply studied by Dr Craig Childress and he has written book about it called Foundations that describes the behavior of the offending parent. This parent is usually borderline with narcissistic tendencies and in his book he tells how these people are uniquely able to manipulate and cause great havoc. They are able to take a child out of their own authenticity (their ability to believe their own experiences with someone) and make them believe the offending parent’s narrative instead. Dr Childress has been working with the APA to get this accepted into regular protocol, but they have been resistant. It seems to be a matter of pride for them. Dr Childress has extensive background in the attachment system, personality disorders, manipulative procedures, etc. Please see his work in YouTube with Attachment Based Parental Alienation.
Dr Childress recommends that people use the Conscious Coparenting Institute’s methods to help alienated parent reunify with their children. They have unique methods have a high degree of success.
Janpat, thanks for passing that information along. I have a client going through alienation right now, with an alienator that is suspected as having a personality disorder. However the alienated parent cannot presently co-parent at all due to the circumstances which I cannot disclose. The alienator has methodically and systemically eroded the bond between child and aliened parent, where the child believes that the alienated parent is inherently bad and abusive. There has been nothing but a loving environment for this child in the alienated parent’s home–but the child has been groomed to be an entitled junior narcissist and is quickly evolving into carbon copy of the alienator. A tragedy all around.
Thank you Ms.Bentz for your work in this field and for sharing your findings with everyone in this fashion. I am in a similar situation to the client of yours’ you had mentioned in comments about a year ago. I have an ex-wife whom caused my daughter to start making false allegations against me within a couple days of having began our separation due to my unwillingness to continue being emotionally abused and severely gaslighted. This happened after seventeen years of marriage and after the abuse caused me to try to end my life and destroyed my career as a paramedic. The continued effects of her abusive behavior has also caused me a successful business and I am now struggling to make it day by day, both financially and psychologically. At this time, I am even unable to see my ten year old son that is shared with her because of all the complications and restrictions she’s had placed before me regarding my visitation with him and I haven’t spoken to my daughter in almost three years. I am hoping that awareness and meaningful intervention of these conditions or crimes continues to grow significantly because at this time, the local courts literally award these people for perpetrating these kinds of abuses towards others, their children and I suspect it’s mortality (yes, mortality) rate is much higher than many of the issues our public and governmental institutions consider to be public crisis and take action in response to. If there’s anything I can do to help in your research or to progress anyone’s attempt to raise awareness and take meaningful action, please let me know. This issue is every moment of every day for me and has already cost me everything. Thanks!
Federalburrito – I am so sorry for what has happened to you. I suggest that you investigate parental alienation – I think that may be what you are enduring. We have quite a bit of information about it here on Lovefraud – type it into the search bar at the top.
Federalburrito, thanks for reading my article. Your handle name made me laugh, sounds like “Federal Bureau”. You never know who is reading your articles!
😁 Anyway, I really feel for what you are going through. I thought a few of your comments were interesting. You called these conditions “crimes”. Well, I can’t say I disagree. Narcissists are morally bankrupt. And they intend to harm you because they need to snuff out your light. Much of what they do to you is pre-meditated. They just don’t hurt you or others by accident. No more excuses for their behaviors. Way too late most of the time, we realize they lie even about the smallest things.
You cannot believe anything they write or say. Usually they are very good at documenting their “feelings” which gives the appearance of facts— since I notice they are frequently adept at keeping track of their narratives of perceived offenses, which are only projections of the ugly things they are doing. The worst is when a female is a narcissist. Females, in my estimation, are far worse because the system looks more kindly on them and they tend to go under the radar. When your eyes open to the gaslighting, expect that smear campaign in full force.
All I can say is this: all the demons of hell are let loose and they pose as human beings feigning empathy and kind hearts toward all. If they were to show you what they really were–you would not have been duped at the start. Be flattered for what it is worth. They only go after strong, good hearted souls. Keep your eyes on that fact, and God, and you will get through it and won’t look back. I am praying that your situation improves with your kids!