By: Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed
There may be a correlation between psychopathy and malingering. Some studies support that increased PCL-R (psychopathy checklist) scores correspond with an increased potential for malingering, while others are less conclusive. Regardless, if psychopathic individuals, or those with such features, seek to gain or avoid something through manipulations, they are good at bringing their intentions to fruition.
What is malingering?
Malingering is defined as intentionally making up or exaggerating medical or mental symptoms in an attempt to avoid one or a variety of responsibilities. It is an intentional misrepresentation of facts in an effort to appear unable to work, or to fulfill other obligations. Additionally, with this avoidance, comes an external reward or some form of perceived personal gain. Often, malingerers see no other ways to achieve their avoidance goals.
Why do they do it?
This external payoff may come in the form of “getting something for nothing,” through unemployment or disability benefits, avoiding punishments in some circumstances, or getting out of having to perform what they consider to be undesirable tasks, and more.
The specific reasons and presentations may be as numerous, but the motivations are relatively consistent. Mainly, there’s something they must do, but don’t want to or feel they need to.
How do they malinger?
It is common for malingerers to feign mental or psychiatric conditions over physical maladies. They may feel that these are easier to fake, since diagnostic methods may be more difficult to quantify.
If malingerers claimed broken arms, for example, x-rays could quickly negate any false claims. The same is true for many other physical ailments.
However, it is easier to claim stress or distress, or a variety of other mental afflictions, that may render malingerers “unable” to work or make good on their obligations. In fact, they may even blame us for their “illnesses.”
Pathological lying and manipulation
With a primary element of malingering being intentional deception, it makes sense then that psychopathic individuals, or those with psychopathic traits, may be likely to engage in successful malingering. Two prominent traits psychopaths exhibit are pathological lying and manipulative and deceptive behaviors. Both are necessary in order to malinger successfully.
Most of what psychopaths say is false, or laced only with grains of truth that are usually seriously distorted. Since they lie and distort with ease, and manipulate people and circumstances to achieve what they want, it is easy to see how they are able to manage malingering successfully.
Parasitic lifestyle
Furthermore, it is common for individuals with psychopathic traits to live parasitic lifestyles. They are often careless, putting us in situations that cause us distress for their own gain or pleasure. Initially, they may look like our soul mates, wonderful long lost relatives, or saviors. They may come bearing gifts and making promises.
However, we quickly learn that most of what they offered came with conditions. The promises failed to materialize, and that they, in fact, arrived on the scene to live off of us.
They may even put us in positions to pity them, fight for them, or defend them. Eventually, we realize that they view life to be about their needs, rather than those they are obligated to. Parasitic.
Why is this relevant?
When we unknowingly become close with psychopaths, we are going to be touched by this in some way, at some point in time. “The right thing” may be something they spend a lot of time addressing, but very little time actually doing.
Since it is common for individuals with psychopathic traits to fail to make good on their obligations and responsibilities, it is worth understanding.
When they find themselves in too deep, and it is impossible for them to shirk their responsibilities in any other fashion, they may simply choose to take themselves out of commission.
Practical application
Although malingering can take place for a variety of purposes and in a variety of different ways, let us examine the possibility of a parent doing so to escape paying child support. Many readers have probably experienced this, as it is a common challenge among those dealing with individuals exhibiting such traits. The motivations for attempting to eliminate the support may be numerous, but are less significant than the actual act.
It is true that many good people, who genuinely care deeply, are simply sometimes unable to adequately provide. However, in cases where we suspect malingering, it is critical to assess the big picture.
What is the history? What are some of their attitudes displayed prior to the malingering? Were there inconsistencies in stories or statements? Was it clear that elusive measures were being contemplated? Were the actions and the words, again, failing to match over time?
Are other bills going unpaid? Is there a telling history regarding who they are choosing to pay and who they are choosing not to? Is there a history of bankruptcies? Do most of the “explanations” begin with blame and end with lack of ownership and reasonable solutions?
Well intended individuals are typically not be satisfied with offering next to nothing significant for support, regardless of circumstances. Additionally, those who have genuinely lost the capacity to perform in their chosen careers often acquire new and different skills or do whatever it takes to contribute similarly and meaningfully.
Further, they do not lie about their intentions, indicating that they will provide in one respect and then not follow through when the opportunities present themselves.
When malingering is present, attitudes of complacency, or even satisfaction with the situations they have created may be present.
Is malingering possible to prove?
It is possible that medical professionals or evaluators can prove malingering? Like many other behaviors psychopaths display, the malingering is no different, in that they tend to lack the consistency that individuals who are truly suffering exhibit. Those too ill to work or perform duties, for example, may also be unable to recreate or participate in activities that would otherwise bring them joy.
However, successful malingerers may continue on with other activities, or even engage in things they would not otherwise participate in. In essence, out of work may translate into on vacation.
Actual symptoms of certain conditions they are faking often look much different, as well. They may go through the motions of doing what needs to be done in order to appear “ill” or to “recover,” but their actions still tend to look different than those who are legitimate.
Again, while assessing, it is important to examine the circumstances collectively. Does the individual have something to gain by malingering? If it appears that they may, that is a good indicator that they are malingering.
All the while, it is important to remember that a normal person’s interpretation of something to gain, and theirs, may look very different. Thus, making their intentions easier to conceal, unless reminded of the need for this awareness.
It may be necessary for providers and employers to ask probing questions, observe carefully, and gather pertinent outside information. The words cannot be trusted and taken at face value.
If clinicians consider all of the circumstances, and do even a small amount of research, they may come to know that further investigation may be necessary. Unfortunately, this is not always a priority until the issue comes into the forefront, somehow.
Who would do this?
It may seem odd that there are individuals who choose to engage in these behaviors. Aren’t they coincidentally harming themselves?
While that depends on individual circumstances, in many cases, they are. Nonetheless, the payoff that they are attempting to achieve may override logic and reasoning. Their eyes are on the prize, so to speak. Yes, that sometimes defies logic, which is another reason this may seem unbelievable.
Remember, we are not discussing a portion of the population that typically acts with anyone’s best interests in mind. Strangely enough, although they mainly act selfishly, sometimes, this even extends to mean their own.
As it is becoming my mantra, I will close with the suggestion that we take comfort in the understanding. It will allow for peace amongst disorder.
Thank you Linda for this article. I had never heard the term malingering before, but after reading this article I see a direct correlation to all of the disorders that are discussed on this site.
I started putting the pieces together when reading about different sociopaths that faked cancer for attention. Now I realize that my ex Spath malingered as well: She started complaining of her stomach hurting *funny how this coincided with the time when she went broke* and had to go to the emergency room. Of course I was fully supportive since I was afraid it could be appendasitus (sp?). So after 4 hours of tests and a $2700 bill, they said they didn’t know what was wrong, but it was not life threatening…
So she refused to work, and instead applied for food stamps, then state funded medical coverage. She then announces that it must be gluten intolerance. However, she would not give up eating gluten *Funny how that works*. In true form, she would not even accept the consequences of her faked illness!
It was not long after this that she became pregnant, and of course, could not work. But, she could lie in bed 21 hours a day and play on Facebook! Sorry I am ranting here, this just brought up some anger that I thought I had gotten rid of.
I am so glad that I figured out what her game was, I just wish I had known 6 months earlier! Anyway, it sounds like all of these people share one thing in common, they will go to any lengths to avoid doing anything they do not want to do.
I’m actually laughing, this morning, about the spaths’ malingerings. The one that comes to mind, immediately, is a very telling interaction between the female ex-con spath and her mother. The mother had serious knee issues and had returned from her place of employment and was rubbing her knees and said, “My god, but they hurt.” No sonner than the words left this woman’s mouth, her daughter piped up and whined, “My knees hurt, TOO!” And, I mean there was a nanosecond between the mother’s comment and the spath’s complaint.
I just shake my head. And, thank you for the vocabulary lesson, Linda! “Malingering” is a odious word without even knowing the meaning. Now that the meaning is clear, it’s even more so.
Clair,
I hope that God doesn’t give you strength to endure your black hole cousin, because YOU SHOULDN’T ENDURE HIM.
You are letting him abuse you under the mantle of his pity ploy. When he blatantly told you that you were the problem, that’s when you should have cut him off. As long as you let him talk to you that way, WHY would he change? You aren’t doing him or yourself any favors by putting up with him. Gray rock him, and watch the change.
Just because you are strong enough to endure him doesn’t mean you should, Clair. That strength was meant for better and more important things.
Jesus told us, “don’t throw your pearls to swine.”
Thank you, skylar.
I know you’re right. Thing is that I have been gray rocking him for over 1 year and I think he hates that I’ve done so. He hates when I gray rock him because I’m not giving him supply. When I gray rock him, he seethes silently and I guess after a year of not giving him supply, he exploded.
Unfortunately, I am in a small family business with him and am in the process of extricating myself. Our grandfather left a business & unfortunately, cousin is my partner. I’m in the process of separating cousin’s half from my half.
Biggest prob is that because cousin has been MALINGERING for the past 2 decades, he doesn’t know how to run his business. So, I finally found a reliable manager to run cousin’s business, am tying up loose ends and preparing for the hand over. Cousin wants to run his half of the business, but I fear he may run it into the ground. He is rather pathetic & inept and deep down, he knows it and yet, he’s an entitled N. So, he’s an inept & entitled N. He resents me because I’m competent.
Morally, I need to know that when I hand off his business to cousin & manager, I’ve done the best I could do for him. If cousin later sinks his boat, that will be his problem, not mine.
After that conversation with him yesterday, I wonder if he’s losing his mind. But, he’s always been this way, however, he seems to be getting worse. My old T (who had a session with him) told me he’s mentally ill. Well, that may be true, but the fact remains that he’s simply difficult to deal with and nasty.
When he told me I was his problem, it reminded me of my mother, who would also say mean things to me just to hurt me. One time, I finally asked my mother “Did you say that just to hurt me”? and she answered “Yes”. So, this is a family dynamic of saying untrue, mean things just to hurt someone. No doubt there are personality disorders in my family.
On a deeper level, I wonder if this is a karmic challenge to me.
bottom line: in my mind, cousin has used up his allotted rant & spewing time for this year. I will not subject myself to that again for the rest of this year. Hopefully, I’ll separate the businesses soon and will set him free.
Sorry for hogging his thread, but, like I said, the topic really hits home for me.
Clair, bless your heart! You’re not “hogging” the thread…you’re “speaking” about what you need to.
Once you’ve separated the business, you can walk away without a backward glance, regardless of whether cousin’s losing his mind, or not.
I often wonder about Wills and so forth….in that, if people “knew” how their beneficiaries often behaved after their deaths when money is involved, would they have altered things, accordingly?
I’ve known SO many people that have watched whom they believed to be “close” family members jump their proverbial rails when money entered into the equation. I have a friend, right now, whose siblings (neither of which is employed) speak on a constant basis about whom they’ll inherit money from, next. My friend finds the whole topic to be despicable and has gone NC with them both.
Hugs, Clair….
Clair, separation from this creep is definitely the only way you will escape from him.
Use Caller ID and just don’t answer his calls. Or if you do, say “Oh, so sorry but I must go X and do Y will talk to you later” MUCH LATER! LOL
Thank you, Truthspeak.
Regarding Wills, one of the reasons why I am here at LF is because I discovered (ie: it eventually dawned on me) that I come from a family of Personality Disordered people: NPD, Borderlines, Ps, ya know, a garden variety assortment of Cluster Bs.
Thank you, Oxy.
I know you are right. You & I have discussed this cousin before. I am dancing as fast as I can to go NC with him.
I think I got a great one liner that sums up the Malingerer:
“The tyranny of the helpless”.
And yet, and yet: I wonder, in the back of my mind whether these toxic people are some kind of karmic challenge?
Here’s the thing: I think Oxy was talking about how SPaths want us to betray our own integrity. I want to leave this Spath with as “clean hands” as I can. I know that he will bitch about whatever I do, but I need to know, within myself, that I’ve helped him as much as I can, without doing damage to either him or myself. This, I think, is “The tyranny of the helpless”.
It’s always good to check in…seems like I always see and learn something or have an, “Ahaa!” moment. My spath was a classic malingerer – He couldn’t do anything for himself because his ADHD keeps him from concentrating. He always claimed to be distracted by random noises (that only he heard) and snap whenever I tried to talk to him when he was (fill in the blank.) Of course it didn’t stop him from watching TV and cruising sex hook-up sites at the same time. And he somehow managed to concentrate enough to get his pilot license. Oh, but that was because it was something he was interested in. You see, he can only do things he is interested in because of his ADHD so I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that getting a job or making any financial contribution were not on the list. No job and flying lessons you say? Money “given” to him by his 86 year old grandmother. Silly me thought he might pay me back for the motorcycle I bought him or the $5,000 worth of equipment I bought him so he could start his own business.
PS – Got a text from him for the first time in 11 days. I wasn’t even tempted to reply. It really does get easier 🙂
JustBree, I’m SO glad to hear that you didn’t respond to his text. For me, I’d block him, entirely, or change my number, etc…..removing that viaduct into my life was the most important step that I could take.
I would probably have been diagnosed ADHD, but I don’t think that ADHD necessarily means anything more than a condition that can be managed without medications. My feeling is that ADD/ADHD has become a catch-all excuse for really bad choices and behaviors. I had to teach myself how to learn and study, and it wasn’t until I was in my junior year of high school that it finally began to fall into place for me. But, I also grew up in the time where Ritalin and Aderal hadn’t even hit the market, so I had to sort it out on my own, and I am truly appreciative that was the case for me.
I just think that the ADD/ADHD “factor” is a rush to a label, a stampede to medicating instead of managing/raising a child, and a handy-dandy excuse.
JustBree, good for you on your road to recovery and healing! 😀
Wow! I am still involved with a man I believe is a Sociopath.. he retired with a fantastic Disability pension ….he says he was diagnosed with PTSD. due to work related circumstances ….. he basically does nothing productive , but manages trips .. to Toronto … Panama City Beach 4 winter months… .. and when we aren’t together .. 11 yr age difference … I
a cougar…:) . he’s says we are ” single ” .I insists on Safe sex…. and he doesn’t resist… He is a Playboy .. I’m positive of … has all the spath characteristics … the charm.. the meaningless ” I love you ” words … still communicates with ex girlfriends who must still be hung up on him . Sex is priority…. 2 1/2 yrs .. long distance … yes I know I’m sick for puttin up with this crap and his Disorder.. but .. something keeps me in his life.. yes the sex .. is best I’ve ever had . when together … most fun .. trips fabulous … treats me wonderfully .. then when we are apart …. he’s “single “.
Anyway… back to malingering …. he is a healthy speciman of a man …. and I’m sure he duped his Employer.. he’s 52…. and now fighting the CRA against taxing his wonderful pension ….. he has a brilliant mind … and I think he has planned this all out just like he ” plans” his trips and the escapades with all the women in his life .
If he suffers from PTSD .. he sure hides it well … like he thinks he’s hiding all his women from me ….
I know … why am I still doing this with him ? Am I sick too ? have asked myself that a lot .. I actually have and a
taking steps to release him and Me from this ” relationship ” , not calling , not emailing , not replying to emails… like he avoids that … so abnormal ,
it’s a matter of time ..I need to get myself at peace and mentally healthy again …. i think I am rambling now … sorry.. it really is good to get this all out… this blog has helped me recognize what I am dealing with..
Thanks for the “malingering ” info … I learn something every time
I read this Blog! May we be Strong and Courageous enough to deliver ourselves from the Spaths of this world!