By: Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed
There may be a correlation between psychopathy and malingering. Some studies support that increased PCL-R (psychopathy checklist) scores correspond with an increased potential for malingering, while others are less conclusive. Regardless, if psychopathic individuals, or those with such features, seek to gain or avoid something through manipulations, they are good at bringing their intentions to fruition.
What is malingering?
Malingering is defined as intentionally making up or exaggerating medical or mental symptoms in an attempt to avoid one or a variety of responsibilities. It is an intentional misrepresentation of facts in an effort to appear unable to work, or to fulfill other obligations. Additionally, with this avoidance, comes an external reward or some form of perceived personal gain. Often, malingerers see no other ways to achieve their avoidance goals.
Why do they do it?
This external payoff may come in the form of “getting something for nothing,” through unemployment or disability benefits, avoiding punishments in some circumstances, or getting out of having to perform what they consider to be undesirable tasks, and more.
The specific reasons and presentations may be as numerous, but the motivations are relatively consistent. Mainly, there’s something they must do, but don’t want to or feel they need to.
How do they malinger?
It is common for malingerers to feign mental or psychiatric conditions over physical maladies. They may feel that these are easier to fake, since diagnostic methods may be more difficult to quantify.
If malingerers claimed broken arms, for example, x-rays could quickly negate any false claims. The same is true for many other physical ailments.
However, it is easier to claim stress or distress, or a variety of other mental afflictions, that may render malingerers “unable” to work or make good on their obligations. In fact, they may even blame us for their “illnesses.”
Pathological lying and manipulation
With a primary element of malingering being intentional deception, it makes sense then that psychopathic individuals, or those with psychopathic traits, may be likely to engage in successful malingering. Two prominent traits psychopaths exhibit are pathological lying and manipulative and deceptive behaviors. Both are necessary in order to malinger successfully.
Most of what psychopaths say is false, or laced only with grains of truth that are usually seriously distorted. Since they lie and distort with ease, and manipulate people and circumstances to achieve what they want, it is easy to see how they are able to manage malingering successfully.
Parasitic lifestyle
Furthermore, it is common for individuals with psychopathic traits to live parasitic lifestyles. They are often careless, putting us in situations that cause us distress for their own gain or pleasure. Initially, they may look like our soul mates, wonderful long lost relatives, or saviors. They may come bearing gifts and making promises.
However, we quickly learn that most of what they offered came with conditions. The promises failed to materialize, and that they, in fact, arrived on the scene to live off of us.
They may even put us in positions to pity them, fight for them, or defend them. Eventually, we realize that they view life to be about their needs, rather than those they are obligated to. Parasitic.
Why is this relevant?
When we unknowingly become close with psychopaths, we are going to be touched by this in some way, at some point in time. “The right thing” may be something they spend a lot of time addressing, but very little time actually doing.
Since it is common for individuals with psychopathic traits to fail to make good on their obligations and responsibilities, it is worth understanding.
When they find themselves in too deep, and it is impossible for them to shirk their responsibilities in any other fashion, they may simply choose to take themselves out of commission.
Practical application
Although malingering can take place for a variety of purposes and in a variety of different ways, let us examine the possibility of a parent doing so to escape paying child support. Many readers have probably experienced this, as it is a common challenge among those dealing with individuals exhibiting such traits. The motivations for attempting to eliminate the support may be numerous, but are less significant than the actual act.
It is true that many good people, who genuinely care deeply, are simply sometimes unable to adequately provide. However, in cases where we suspect malingering, it is critical to assess the big picture.
What is the history? What are some of their attitudes displayed prior to the malingering? Were there inconsistencies in stories or statements? Was it clear that elusive measures were being contemplated? Were the actions and the words, again, failing to match over time?
Are other bills going unpaid? Is there a telling history regarding who they are choosing to pay and who they are choosing not to? Is there a history of bankruptcies? Do most of the “explanations” begin with blame and end with lack of ownership and reasonable solutions?
Well intended individuals are typically not be satisfied with offering next to nothing significant for support, regardless of circumstances. Additionally, those who have genuinely lost the capacity to perform in their chosen careers often acquire new and different skills or do whatever it takes to contribute similarly and meaningfully.
Further, they do not lie about their intentions, indicating that they will provide in one respect and then not follow through when the opportunities present themselves.
When malingering is present, attitudes of complacency, or even satisfaction with the situations they have created may be present.
Is malingering possible to prove?
It is possible that medical professionals or evaluators can prove malingering? Like many other behaviors psychopaths display, the malingering is no different, in that they tend to lack the consistency that individuals who are truly suffering exhibit. Those too ill to work or perform duties, for example, may also be unable to recreate or participate in activities that would otherwise bring them joy.
However, successful malingerers may continue on with other activities, or even engage in things they would not otherwise participate in. In essence, out of work may translate into on vacation.
Actual symptoms of certain conditions they are faking often look much different, as well. They may go through the motions of doing what needs to be done in order to appear “ill” or to “recover,” but their actions still tend to look different than those who are legitimate.
Again, while assessing, it is important to examine the circumstances collectively. Does the individual have something to gain by malingering? If it appears that they may, that is a good indicator that they are malingering.
All the while, it is important to remember that a normal person’s interpretation of something to gain, and theirs, may look very different. Thus, making their intentions easier to conceal, unless reminded of the need for this awareness.
It may be necessary for providers and employers to ask probing questions, observe carefully, and gather pertinent outside information. The words cannot be trusted and taken at face value.
If clinicians consider all of the circumstances, and do even a small amount of research, they may come to know that further investigation may be necessary. Unfortunately, this is not always a priority until the issue comes into the forefront, somehow.
Who would do this?
It may seem odd that there are individuals who choose to engage in these behaviors. Aren’t they coincidentally harming themselves?
While that depends on individual circumstances, in many cases, they are. Nonetheless, the payoff that they are attempting to achieve may override logic and reasoning. Their eyes are on the prize, so to speak. Yes, that sometimes defies logic, which is another reason this may seem unbelievable.
Remember, we are not discussing a portion of the population that typically acts with anyone’s best interests in mind. Strangely enough, although they mainly act selfishly, sometimes, this even extends to mean their own.
As it is becoming my mantra, I will close with the suggestion that we take comfort in the understanding. It will allow for peace amongst disorder.
Savvy,
The only way to end it is to do just that. End it. No more contact: no emails, texts, calls, letters. No contact whatsoever. The good news is because he has kept his distance you sound like you have absolutely nothing to lose.
Because, believe me, he is nothing. There is not a ‘hidden’ person of substance hiding there. It is a complete and utter ruse to get supply. You are nothing to him but a mechanical object, and he pushes your mechanical buttons to get whatever kind of supply he desires in the moment.
Don’t wait, Savvy……get rid of this evil man. Enabling him, by continuing contact, contributes that much more vileness to the world. Each time we enable this kind of nastiness, it is encouraged.
Find out the why’s and whatfor’s for your attraction. Where do you need to shore up your values. And ask why you allow yourself to be used for someone else’s amusement. You clearly know he is rotten. Why stay?
Take care of your life and heart. It is the ONLY one you have.
Slim
My sociopathic ex quit work to lower his child support payments. He has gone back to court 3 times to lower from $400 a month to half that. He still won’t pay it.
He is claiming disability with a bad back. He cannot work because of his back; however, he can play tennis, go canoeing and ride on roller coasters.
He is trying to get SSDI. He does not have any doctors notifications that show he is disabled, yet he is getting food stamps and help because of his “disability.” He has had his license suspended for not paying. He will drive himself to the police station for visitation exchanges.
He not only sucks the people he is involved with dry, but also the government and any agencies willing to help him. He feels no guilt at not helping support his child. He is actually quite happy that he is getting away with “something.”
slimone: I agree with you, wholeheartedly. The only way to end it is just to end it. No more contact. “I” found it a little easier to do being we never formally ‘lived together’ or even resided in the same geographic location, so it was easier for me. If I had to live in the same area, I would have seriously considered moving, not in defeat but in resolution.
I have had a psychopathic stalker for the past ten years. At first, I ignored him. Until he barged into my life by my giving him attention. He sucked me in and spun webs and when I started seeing through the mask and spurning his attentions is when the death threats and attempts came. The past five years, I have spent deep in depression, suicidal tendencies, him threatening to murder me and just on and on. “IT” even had me almost convinced that “I” was the insane one. I never thought I would ever break free from his control. And, then, as I started learning ‘who’ these people are and what to watch for and the MOST IMPORTANT PART: learning I wasn’t alone, well, after five failed NC attempts, the sixth was a charm.
I am past the one month mark. Only the past week it has been quiet without stalking. I don’t reciprocate the stalking and liken it to just that: criminal stalking. I NEVER RESPOND. All of the warnings, bells and whistles have been delivered and there is never and never will be, ever again, any response from me in any way, shape or form. And, if he comes anywhere near me, he will be arrested.
I am not afraid of “IT” like I used to be but I am still aware. I have lots of back up where I reside and he knows it. He has been escorted out of town once already and if I were “IT”, I would be very careful on whose grass I walk on anymore.
The nightmare is finally getting to the ‘over’ part for me. I hope and pray. I am just waiting for the boogeyman to jump out of the bushes at me, all the time. I am finding that no matter how much times passes, that ‘jumping’ instinct will always be there. There is nothing to take that away but reprocessing and making changes in myself. MYSELF.
Thanks again slim for rattling my melon…xxoo
You just have to stop giving them the attention. Whether you give them good attention as in kindnesses, or bad attentions, in the way of telling them what you think, they love it all. They absolutely HATE no attention.
Savvy: slim is right. You need to get rid of that evilness in your life. I know how hard it is to let go of the ‘dream’ but that was all it was…our perception of what we THOUGHT they were.
“Enabling him, by continuing contact, contributes that much more vileness to the world. Each time we enable this kind of nastiness, it is encouraged.” ABSOLUTELY.
Thanks, slim, for bolstering me up this morning.
It’s been a very long, exasperating and tiring experience.
Dupey
YAY Dupey!!!!!
Glad I could give you a little boost of resolve. I think the ONLY reason to ever have anything to do with these types, is to WAKE up, and come face-to-face with the truth– Evil exists. We can quit participating with evil. We can let go of our false beliefs. We can create lives of honesty, integrity, and real awareness.
Now that we know, let’s, little by little, make this world a better place.
Slim
Slim and Dupey.. thank you for your comments. I know in my Heart of Hearts you are absolutely right….. and it WILL happen…. I cannot live without “normalcy”…… this “not normal” sutff drives me crazy. You are also right on, Dupey with your comment re: letting go of the Dream I THOUGHT he was… boy, if we’d only listen to our “gut” at that “git go” stage, we’d all be ok now, wouldn’t we? You know, that ole saying “If it’s too good to be true, it is”…. keeps on coming back….. it’s always correct. Just reading these uplifting encouraging comments is wonderful! Thank you!
Slimone, “Evil exists.” Indeed, it does and I have always been aware that there are “bad people” out there. What I never knew or understood was that REGULAR LOOKING PEOPLE – normal, everyday in appearance, ect. – can be just as evil as Ted Bundy and “Reverend” Jim Jones.
Sometimes, it just seems prudent to live in a cave…. 😉
savvy: I am sorry for what has befallen you but don’t lose sight of yourself and the dynamic person you are. You know your worth and value. You don’t need anyone else to validate you. Certainly not this “THING”. Right: I completely understand you hearing: “If it’s too good to be true, it probably is…” I hear it often myself. I do. Instead, we try to be the ‘nice person’ and give whatever we think we have to, to someone and/or for someone, and they devour us like a bottom dweller on the ocean floor.
You hang in there savvy…I can tell by your words that you are a very ‘enlightened’ person and as long as you cling to yourself, you will make it through the storm. I will be hoping and praying for you. Just remember who you are; alright? Nobody can take that away from you.
((savvy))
Dupey
Truthspeak and Slimone: Oh yes, I can attest to that fact that evil DOES exist. It most certainly does. Oh yes, we all kind of sort of ‘knew’ there are bad people out there, but you don’t really think it will happen to you, that you meet a real live psychopath who devours your life and walks away laughing at you, calling YOU the crazy one. Nobody ever would think that could happen; right?
IT DOES HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.
There are soul less people with no regrets, no conscious and no remorse out there who will devour you if you let them. If you let them, they will also take your last breath from you.
JUST as evil as Ted Bundy, with that babyface and the good ‘reverend’ Mr. Jones….honey and sugar and sweetness will lead you to your doom. I know. I have developed a real bad case of agoraphobia over all this and a few other things entwined. I don’t go out of the house much because of all the threats and things. I just never know when my demise will come. If it doesn’t come from HIM, perhaps from the heart failure condition I now have. Yah, it’s been a long and ‘exhilarating’ road.
I do live in a cave, Truthspeak, and I have for the past almost five years. I am coming out now, as much as I can, now that I have boundaries and that I refuse any more of this in my life.
You have to stay strong in the person you know you are.
They will win every time and that’s nothing wrong with US…but, everything WRONG WITH THEM.
In the end, though, WE ARE THE WINNERS.
Blessings…
Dupey
It is so interesting how it is about winning and losing. All the good and decent people in my life don’t give a fig about winning and losing. They don’t care what car their neighbor drives, who has the roundest boobs, or most expensive house.
They live authentic lives, and are interested in how amazing the world is, and how much there is to learn and explore.
No spath I EVER met had a REAL zest for living. Just a manic and nearly suicidal obsession to WIN. What a stupid and shallow and violent goal.
Blech!
Slim –
So true what you say about living in an amazing world. I remember when I felt that way, some days when I would laugh at the wonder of it all and felt that my heart would burst from sheer joy. I’m sure that I am not alone in feeling that this was the most devastating loss that came from having a relationship with a spath (Or spaths, since none of us seem to be able to stop at one.)
And yes, they must win. I feel more anxiety and fear now than when he was living with me – he had me then and now the realization that I have slipped away is dawning on him. I know you will all say I should block his texts, but they give me insight into where his current thinking is. The key is to never answer, no matter what he might say. In the last couple of weeks he has gone from no contact to a couple of harmless messages, to sarcasm, to a report of finding something of mine that I should come get, to anger, to finding it on my porch this morning, to, “This isn’t like you. Are you ok??” (Like he really cares.) His anxiety is increasing and so is the frequency of his texts. He has never seen this behavior from me and really doesn’t know what to do. My only question/concern is – Will he ever give up or is this what I have to look forward to for who knows how long?