Did you know people actually have two brains? We have a conscious brain that produces thoughts, ideas and intention and we have an automatic, unconscious brain that produces impulses. There are advantages to having two brains. The conscious thinking brain makes us smart and deliberate but the problem is it is slow. On the other hand, the unconscious automatic brain is fast, but the impulses that arise from it are sometimes undesirable. Automatic impulses do not always serve us well.
Have you ever been walking in the woods and seen something that looked like a snake out of the corner of your eye? Notice that your heart pounds and you have that alarmed feeling even before you are aware of having “seen” something. If you had to wait to fully process the image of the snake in order to react defensively, you would likely get bitten. So the mind makes you jump at a few snake-shaped sticks because that way you will be sure to avoid stepping on the real snakes.
The part of the brain that automatically senses threats is the amygdala. The amygdala receives sensory information from every sense. It “filters” this information and automatically “decides” which perceptions represent something that is a threat to safety. Notice that the amygdala is a dynamic or changing structure. If you are relaxed and happy you are less jumpy than if you are “on edge” because you just got into an argument or drank a cup of coffee.
The job of the amygdala is to take its crude sensory perceptions and to energize you to take action to protect yourself. It energizes you because it directly controls your sympathetic nervous system and stimulates the release of stress hormones. Did you know that stress hormones like adrenalin and cortisol are actually stimulants? The action of adrenalin is similar to that of cocaine. By the way, just like stimulants can be addicting, stress which releases these stimulants can also be “addicting” for some people.
The amygdala is not just a single brain structure. It actually has many parts to it. There are different classes of things we associate with threat and fear. The main two classes of feared situations are social and non-social. There are some very outgoing people who climb mountains and yet are anxious at social gatherings. Similarly there are some socially outgoing people who are easily frightened by heights or other non-social stimuli.
People get their fears two ways. The basic activity level of the amygdala is set by genetics. That is why anxiety disorders run in families. Studies show that timid people suffer from an over active amygdala. Fearfulness can also be acquired because like I said the amygdala is a dynamic structure. PTSD is a disorder where there is an enhanced threat response.
Now here is the important part that you may not have considered. What motivational systems does your amygdala interface most with? What are you likely to do in response to threat? There are people whose amygdala is over-connected to dominance motivation. When they perceive a threat they go on the attack. There are other people whose amygdala is connected to affection motivation so when they perceive a threat, they seek out social support. For others, the anxiety is free floating and they freeze up.
If you want to observe firsthand the amygdala at work, watch the dog behavior shows on Animal Planet. As you may have read, my daughter fosters dogs and so I have had the privilege of seeing threat behaviors and how they create dog dysfunction. The dogs also help us to understand how genetics and experience interact to shape threat responses. First let’s consider the grey hound. These dogs are very fearful but in general their fear system connects with their social affiliation system. As a result, they are on average low in aggression. Both of the grey hounds we fostered ran away from our dachshund. I think these dogs have been specifically bred for non-aggression and that is why they tend to cower when afraid.
This week, we had the good luck to meet the Dog Whisperer of Connecticut he explained to me why some working dogs bite people. The answer as to why some working dogs are vicious has relevance to anxiety in humans so stick with me. My new friend raises dogs who protect us by sniffing out bombs and narcotics in the airports. He showed us some terrific dogs and demonstrated their strong temperaments that make them ideal to do their jobs. The dogs with ideal temperaments have a very strong “play” drive and they like to have fun. But they also have to be sensitive to threat so that they will alert to danger. When they sense danger, they have to be energized to face it playfully. My new friend explained to me that vicious dogs are a by-product of the desire to breed dogs that have both play drive and an adequate threat response. If a dog is easily threatened but doesn’t play it only cowers if it is like a grey hound or aggresses if it is a working dog. So what our instincts tell us to do with our fear is important.
Like people dogs also have two brains, so they can be trained some. However the unconscious brain of a dog is always stronger. If a dog has an overactive amygdala and reactive aggression it will always be potentially dangerous. To help these dogs, we need to keep them in a calm environment or give them medication.
Fortunately people can, through conscious experience modify their genetics. People who are born with social anxiety can use psychological training to reduce and even eliminate their automatic responses. In people the amygdala is dynamic.
To manage anxiety we must first identify and understand it with our conscious minds. Then we must take conscious steps to face our fears while relaxing our bodies. Repeatedly facing a feared situation causes the amygdala to stop reacting to that situation as threatening. Avoiding a feared situation only reinforces the fear. The amygdala is rewarded by avoidance behavior and senses that it did it did a good job when we avoid.
Now stop a moment to consider how anxiety operates in you personally. Are you like a vicious dog who snaps at everyone when you get wound up? Are you like a grey hound who tries to cope by cozying up to a friend? Or do you just avoid everything and everyone? My friend who is a Buddhist says, “A human life represents a great opportunity because only humans have such a great capacity for choice.” Although the pull of anxious impulses is very strong we humans luckily do not have to be ruled by them. We can use our large intentional brains to make choices. The choices we make will then shape the structure of our unconscious minds.
Next week psychopathic anxiety.
I assume that this amygdale is the cause of our flight or fight responses?
When I feel anxiety coming on I first try to understand the source of it. Much of my anxiety is of the unknown. Like if I am unemployed how long will It take to find a job. If something falls into my lap and I don’t completely understand all the dynamitic of the problem then boom, anxiety sets in. In short most of my anxiety is fear of the unknown. Ways that I try to deal with this is by telling myself not to worry (yes, I know doesn’t always works) then I will try (faith) to give it to God and ask him for strength and understanding of this unknown problem. Another method is too use biorhythm. In short controlled breathing, heart rate and so on. Of course biorhythm can only work in a relaxed conscious state of mind. Anxiety is a source of stress and we all know stress is a true killer. Aggression I know releases these hormones (adrenalin and cortical) which the body quickly uses up. So with that in mind, I try to be assertive which allow “smaller” doses of these hormones, which can then be more, controlled. Also when we are aggressive we lose some control the event and over ourselves. But when being assertive we can maintain some sense of control of the situation and allow the other (threat) person the ability/opportunity to do the same.
Well again your writing is very insightful and helpful. Thank you!
This is all very interesting to me….myself I can say I have had all three responses to stress…I’ve been angry…I’ve looked for support and I have frozen up….there was a time in my life where I spent 6 months in bed with depression/anxiety and PTSD.
Life can be a tough lesson to learn…but we are human beings and we having the unconscious brain and the conscious brain….now have the added responsibility to use the conscious brain to learn about the unconscious….otherwise life would be disasterous….because dominance modivation would ultimately win…..We need natural born leaders…but we also need the followers….TV’s dog whisperer says there are 7 followers to each dog pack leader…..and a dog’s bad behavior is all about anxiety….because they need the pack leader to be the human caretaker in their lives…the food giver. Unfortunately alot of dog owners are not pack leaders….they are followers…..and again all followers with no leader….potentially disasterous. Again like all the “sages” say….balance is the key….but in this situation balance is 7-1…..in the human world we see, for instance, in a school room 1 teacher per 20 students. Some argue that there should be less students per teacher. But for aruguments sake 1 in 20 is balance.
Now, to get back to the conscious brain that humans have…..and the responsibility we have as a race. It is the very essence that make humans the highest animal on the planet….and therefore the most responsible….so if a human being is a sociopath….are we to say they because they have no conscience they are not human…they are pure animal! I’m not sure if they have no conscionce or if they do and choose not to engage…..They are very intelligent.
Personally I have learned about a sociopath after being involved with one or two…..but I am too, very intelligent….but I was raised by an intelligent family with good morals. My family stressed education, hard work, family and God. There is no question in my mind, my heart and my soul what is the proper way to live.
However…a sociopaths damage is very deep…..after being afflicted by the first one….the father of my daughter…who dragged me in and out of the family court system…as he promissed he would distroy me….I faught his lies and manipulation for years…..which began the damage to my family…and I learned some of the tools of the sociopath who kicked me to the curb….and I got sick….depressed and on the edge with my nerves! Then after all of that I met the 2nd sociopath who I thought was lifting me out of the gutter but instead “attempted” to crush me even further into the curb and his boots were very sharp…what he didn’t count on was the brain and the spiritual connection God had given to me….these were two men without conscience…who didn’t care at all about mine or my daughters life….There was no “love” for us! It was all about them and power…….
We tend to forget about being spiritual beings too…..we talk about being human here….scientific study has recently confirmed one of Einsteins theorys of parallell universes….I’ve recently watched it in a documentary on the science channel…..the numbers equate….we do have parallell universes….they say energy exists in one of them….God is light! Need I say any more…..I am a massage therapist who studies the healing process of prayer and bringing light into the session! That is what kept me alive….and that was from God…..so for all people out there who are suffering from the affects of a sociopath….with God you will perservere…because there is an order and there are rules to follow….and God has revealed his rules to many who have tapped into the parallell universe…the sages…the profits….the healers…I believe God gave us all a conscience…..some have opted to depress it so there is only a thread left…..it is everyones responsibility to find balance. To loose your conscience is to loose “love” to loose love is to loose your soul……..and the sages….the profits and healers know there is a “hell”….is it permanent or not….that doesn’t matter to me…..staying out of it matters to me!
Thank for your this article Dr. L. I am currently re-reading “Emotional Intelligence” which goes into this part of brain reactions to danger.
Dr. Daniel Goleman, who wrote the book, states that because the amygdala (the more primitive part of the brain) gets a sensory message a micro-second before the prefrontal cortex (the thinking part of the brain) our “over emotional” reactions to perceived threats is because the amygdala jumps to conclusions on partial evidence.
He goes on to state “Small wonder we can have so little insight into the murk of our more explosive emotions, especially while they still hold us in thrall. The Amygdala can react in a delirium of rage or fear before the cortex knows what is going on because such raw emotion is triggered independent of, and prior to thought.”
He also quoted some studies that showed that the amygdala holds “emotional memories” separate from and possibly not even perceived by the rest of the brain. (PTSD?)
The biological aspects of our reactions to perceived threats are very interesting to me. When I was in school years ago, there was a researcher at the VA in Ft. Roots, at Little Rock, AR associated with the University medical school there who bred two races of dogs (starting with one litter) one was very aggressive and the other group were totally fearful of any and everything. His research sparked my interest in the heritability of aggression and I culled out aggressive and nervous animals and their offspring in my cattle herd over the years.
I think it is so important that we understand our own biological quirks as well as our own emotional and thinking responses in order to use our logical brains in the best way to take care of our emotional selves.
Thank you for this very interesting post.
Trish,
I think we posted at the same time, your post is quite good, and I totally agree about the spiritual aspect of our healing. The mental, emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of our healing are all separate, yet all one, I think.
To neglect one of those aspects leaves us, I think, not whole. James made a great analogy on another thread that we are like the characters in the Wizard of Oz, with the feeling that we have no brain, no heart and no courage—they are there, we just don’t know that they are. When we “find” these “lost” parts we become complete! The Ps somehow convince us that THEY know that we do not have these things, and somehow we come to accept their assessment. It is only when we get away from them (NC if possible) that we can start to look for and find our “missing parts” and put ourselves back together–complete. Whole.
Thank you.
Thank you OxDrover,
you have given so much to my healing…and I thank Donna Anderson for this web site and for being where she is today….because since I have met her…my life has opened up…levels….and I thank Dr. Laine Leedom for giving of her time and education to me and others so we can grow…and I thank God first and foremost…In the truth is God! Don’t ever forget that! Through everything I have been through I always knew that the truth would prevail….even when the lies seemed to be winning….I knew eventually the truth would prevail! I think deep down inside we all have this knowledge.
When I was in the deepest of deep pain and suffering…I felt I had lost everything….but I never lost “God”….I thought I was close to death…than I would soon have cancer and die….I was angry because I was a good person and I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me…I had to leave and be alone….and fight without the support of family….they were in a different world than me….if I had stayed around them I would have died….because as low as I was…there was absolutely no support….and I am sure that they had had enough of watching my pain….they could not even imagine the pain I was in…..they do not even know the things I know and all of you know about this pain…..in the end my life was between me and God. I could have died! And I am so sure that some of you know that feeling! But I prayed and I ask God for life so I can have a relationship with my daughter again! This picture is not complete yet! It is just begining to unfold!
Trish
Good point between the spiritual and the physical connection we should have. Some sense of balance is the main theme for many religions. Like lets say the ling and yang concept? Research has showed that if a person is emotionally healthy then the body benefit’s too. I believe that if we are spiritually healthy, our emotions benefit. Kind of a give and take.
One thing that I learned while I served in the arm forces was that “there is no atheist in a fox hole”. Taking this concept and belief I believe that when we go thru this “toxic” relationship with our sociopathic abuser. That sometime during and/or after we may discover/rediscover our belief system. Attending to our spiritual nature that we might have let lay down on the sideway or just ignored. A spiritual reawaking or discovery. Can I say? That maybe this is just another blessing from having suffered so much from our ex s?
Another comment on your post about parallel universes. Not sure if you mean that there (wish I saw the documentary) is two universes which is different when it comes to the law of the cosmos i.e. that gravity might work with a new and/or altered law? Anyway I am getting off the point. You see I too believe that Einstein’s theory on energy is also correct. That energy can’t be destroyed but only changed or altered. Many people believe that we have a soul correct? And that we might live on in some other form after we die. We know that when a person/animal dies the body loses 21 grams of weight. That (which I believe is) our “soul” and/or spiritually being is free when our bodies die. Okay then if “energy” can’t be destroyed only changed or altered. And then believing that our soul/spiritual being is energy that can’t be destroyed only changed or altered. Then with this hypostasis were does this energy go?
I know I am getting off the main theme of this post but this really bugs me. So with that stated I am sorry. One last story that I would like to share.
A little boy builds a wall of sticks around a caterpillar and set the sticks on fire. When the incest felt the heat crawled to each side of the wall only to find that all sides of it on fire. Knowing that escape was impossible crawled to the middle of its burning prison and then looked up. Moral of the story would be that sometimes the only hope for salvation is in God.
No-one can take your soul, your energy. The energy is all enduring and infinite. One cannot say ‘where’ it goes, the ‘where’ question is too limited for the expansiveness that the soul feels and travels. We can only explain and converse in our limited way. The soul is ‘housed’ in the body as a transist vehicle and affected by life events, but not eradicated. Energy cannot be destroyed, but transmuted and transformed.
ugh….only a sociopath would build a burning wall of sticks around a caterpillar….but I get the analogy James!
look for the documentary….unfortunately I am not a scientist…but I believe in scientists….and their quest for truth…..I have just taken the leap of faith
And you don’t need to apologise for getting off the main theme….it’s all a discussion for the purpose of mending our broken health…so there
Going back to James’ wonderful Wizard of Oz analogy—theycould only take our brains, our hearts, and our courage IF WE ALLOW IT—all we have to do to get them back is to BELIEVE we can—then do it!
Holy Smokes, I love this website! You people are wonderful! Youre insight, intelligence, your fierce, beautiful hearts & minds have offered tremendous support and healing for me. I can’t even express the depth of appreciation I feel for each and every one of you. I’ve been reading LoveFraud for months now, going all the way back in the archives to read all the harrowing stories you all wrote. I have cried buckets of tears for the unbelievable (yet actual) life’s experiences many of you have suffered. And continued to suffer until you each said..”that’s it!! I’ve had enough of your soul sucking!!” BRAVO!! Although I realize the road to your own individual liberations from cruelty and pain were bumpy, pot hole ridden and hazardous to travel, you succeeded. And continue to do so.
I’ve had MANY runins with Ns, Ps (bio father was P) and the whole frikkin spectrum of personality disorders. They just take, take, take, demand, demand, devalue until youre standing frozen in one place, bewildered, lost, in total despair and confusion. The screwed up men I’ve know just wanted me to be this sweet, pretty little package only there for their pleasure and amusement. They absolutely did NOT wish for me to have any of my own thoughts or ideas. I was there to serve their needs and bullocks to my own (Im not from the UK..I love saying that word!..haha)!! Pagh! I am here to say that I too have had MORE than enough and I refuse to surrender myself to their vicious crap ever again!
Most graciously I say, The Creater blessed me with fire to go along with a soft heart. Otherwise I think I would have succumbed years ago to my own anguish. But, with mind, body, and soul I reached out to him with humility asking for succour from these evil beings in sheeps clothing who walk amongst us. And…he did!! Wasn’t instantaneous, which i knew because he granted us free will and we are responsible for the choices we make in life. But I am spiritually reawakened and renewed and continue to grow more & more through prayer, this fantastic website, informative books on personality disorders, and inspirational/spiritual books as well.
Thank you!! Thank you!! Readers/commentors on Lovefraud. All of amaze me with your strength and wonderful, caring hearts. I see how even though some of you are still working through your own disillusionment & pain caused by childhood traumas and then a P, you STILL take the time to comfort others. You are truly beautiful people. 🙂