Last month I was in a law firm. Not because of a legal issue—I was there to discuss writing the content for their new websites. Two lawyers, who had been part of one firm, were setting up independent practices. One lawyer hired me. The other wasn’t sure, so he wanted to meet me. A week later I learned that the second lawyer decided he would write his website himself.
On Saturday, I was shocked to see a story in the local newspaper: The second lawyer, Seth A. Fuscellaro, who was also a public defender in Lower Township, New Jersey, was charged in a $15 million mortgage fraud scheme. The FBI actually arrested him in municipal court and escorted him out in handcuffs.
The lawyer was one of 11 people charged in the scheme. One man was also charged with attempted murder—he allegedly shot a witness multiple times. (The witness survived.)
As I read the article for the second time, I still couldn’t believe my eyes. When I met Fuscellaro, I saw absolutely nothing that might indicate any inappropriate behavior, let alone fraud on the scale reported in the newspaper. I had no reason to think the man might be anything but a busy lawyer.
Colorado movie massacre
People are having the same reaction, on a much larger scale, to the news that James Holmes, a shy neurosciences student who was working on his Ph.D., was arrested in the shooting massacre in the Aurora, Colorado movie theater.
People who knew Holmes, and knew his family, are stunned. Neighbors and teachers described him as “smart” but “quiet.” According to an article on CBSNews.com, “In high school, Holmes won a competitive position at a rigorous science boot camp and an internship in neurobiology at the prestigious Salk Institute.”
A video has emerged showing Holmes as an 18-year-old making a presentation to fellow students at a science camp, explaining “subjective experience—what takes place inside the mind, as opposed to the external world.”
Watch: James Holmes: First video of alleged killer released, on ABCNews.go.com.
Obviously, people want to know, “Is Holmes delusional? Does he have a mental illness?” It’s certainly too soon to know. But reporters are already asking the question:
Was this killer mentally ill?
“It says a lot about the type of prejudice we have when we automatically go to the presumption that a clinical mental illness was the cause,” says Praveen Kamban, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California-Los Angeles. “Even the surgeon general of the United States has said there’s very little risk of violence or harm from a stranger who has a mental disorder.
“Not all bad behavior comes from mental illness. Sometimes it can simply be bad behavior.”
Read Probe of shooting suspect James Holmes intensifies, on USAToday.com.
Syndrome of sociopathy (psychopathy)
Here is the point of today’s post: Just because someone behaves badly, even murderously, it does not prove that the person is a sociopath (psychopath).
Sociopathy is a pattern of behavior in which individuals manipulate and exploit others. It is a syndrome, which means the disorder is associated with several recognizable features, symptoms or behaviors.
As I explain on the Key Symptoms page of Lovefraud.com, Dr. Robert Hare identified the traits of a psychopath as:
- Glib and superficial
- Egocentric and grandiose
- Lack of remorse or guilt
- Lack of empathy
- Deceitful and manipulative
- Shallow emotions
- Impulsive
- Poor behavior controls
- Need for excitement
- Lack of responsibility
- Early behavior problems
- Adult antisocial behavior
Although James Holmes has yet to be charged in the Colorado shootings, let alone tried and convicted, he was caught at the scene and his apartment was booby-trapped with explosives. I think it’s fair to anticipate that he will go to prison.
Obviously, his actions were massively evil. Holmes planned his assault in a cold, calculated way. But is he glib, egocentric, grandiose or impulsive? Does he have a need for excitement? Did he have early behavior problems? Look at the video—does this guy at all resemble the human predators that we were involved with? No.
In my opinion, as heinous as this man’s actions were, he probably is not a sociopath (psychopath).
Joe Paterno
Here on Lovefraud, there was also a raging debate a few days ago about Joe Paterno. This case is a bit muddier, because we have learned, through the Freeh Report, that Paterno did lie, at least in reference to his knowledge of Sandusky’s behavior with young boys. We’ve also learned that he wielded incredible power at Penn State, used his power to protect his turf, and was willing to throw innocent children under the bus in order to avoid negative publicity and a stain on the shining image of Penn State football.
This is reprehensible. It is a betrayal of everything that the coach supposedly stood for. Still, based on what has been published about this affair, I doubt that any competent clinician would diagnose Paterno as a sociopath.
Keep in mind that not only is sociopathy a syndrome, it’s also a continuum. That means that a disordered person can have any of the traits listed above to a greater or lesser degree. To qualify as a sociopath, an individual needs high enough scores on enough of the traits to meet the threshold.
So perhaps Paterno would have scored high on “egocentric and grandiose.” But would he have scored high on all, or even many, of those other traits?
Quite honestly, I don’t know for sure. I never went to Penn State, never met Joe Paterno. I only have access to media reports, and they may be incorrect or biased. Many, many sportswriters have been coming out with articles saying, “I believed Joe Paterno and I was wrong.”
Bad behavior
Here at Lovefraud we’re learning about sociopaths, which is important not only for us as individuals, but for all of society. Millions of these predators live among us; they are incredibly destructive; and we need to watch out for them. The more people who are aware that they exist, the better.
Still, we need to guard against seeing a sociopath behind every bush. Not everyone who is power-centered, lies and steals, or even commits mass murder is a sociopath. As the psychiatrist quoted above says, sometimes bad behavior is just bad behavior.
I know that there is question about evidence or a pattern of behavior that would constitute a personality disorder. I have been frustrated by this because not all sociopaths/narcissists show this pattern of behavior to the masses. They appear to be good guys. They are not in trouble with the law, they appear to have a stable family life, and are successful at their jobs. They are so good at hiding their true character that we here on LF are uncomfortable naming them as disordered.
Case in point, Joe Paterno. It appears that many seem to think that, other than his ONE mistake, he was a wonderful man who inspired dignity and pride in those who went to Penn State. He did so much good that he could not possible be, dare we say it, a “monster”.
I came across this very intereting article that confirmed my gut feelings about Joe Paterno and the nasty pied piper that he was. Yes, in my opinion, he has all the hallmarks of a NPD and perhaps Sociopathy. Read the article and decide for yourself.
http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2012/07/27/articles-from-1982-paint-joe-paterno-as-short-tempered-abrasive-egocentric-and-unsympathetic/
Something happened that has me pissed and somewhat amused.
One of my client lady’s has 3 homes I tend to, along with her every other need. She also has a boyfriend I will call J, he is a retired marine, he live’s in a different state. They spend alot time together, she goes to his place or they take trip’s. When J come’s here she changes into a very professional relationship with me, she also keep’s me and her kid’s and her sister away, except for a few brief dinner meetings with her sister and kid’s. She send’s me to the lakehouse to work or the mountain cabin. That’s fine with me it pay’s the same and I respect her arrangement. I also work for her sister who also say’s she changes personalities when J is here and has no time for anyone else, it’s like she dropped off the planet she say’s. Well I think it is J that keep’s her isolated. None of our business really and I have no problems with it.
But this is what has me pissed…The other day she called and asked me to come by at 4 oclock to get some things that needed to go to the lakehouse. Well sure nuff J was not there, she always arranges it that way. But as I was leaving her house and making the turn here come’s J in his car, before I could wave I noticed a look of rage in his face and he swerved his car over like he was going to hit me. Well I have always known he was cool but polite with me, never really friendly but so what, I am always polite and professional with him…if I told her this she would not believe me and I have nothing to gain if I did. She has lots of money and she is the kindest and most generous lady I have ever met, I just hope he is not duping her out of any money..again nun of my business, One time years ago I mentioned to her daughter who also has bad vibes with J that maybe he was after her money..well the daughter told her what I said and she chewed me up one side and down the other and told me J has his own money and didnt need hers..so I keep my mouth shut….should I tell her sister what happened? she doesnt like him at all..they are both in their late 70’s…any input would be appreciated.
Hens, darling, I think if you tell the sister, the sister will tell the lady and the lady wil NOT believe a word of it.
I don’t doubt that you and the sister are singing the same song about this guy being “bad news” and him looking at you like that and playing “chicken” with you on the road is not a good sign.
I don’t know what to tell you. You might be better off to have a talk with the local sheriff and see if J has a record anywhere. The sheriff is more likely to believe you than the Lady…and all her sister can do is to tell the Lady what you said, and she is not going to believe you.
Maybe you and the sister might go to the law and have this guy checked out. If the law won’t check him out, maybe the sister can hire a PI to to a back ground check on him. MIght not be all that costly.
Yeah, Hens. Red flags are flying all over the place. I don’t think there is any career more narcissistic than retired marine corps….and living in another state, and the change in her when he is around, and his obviously possessive and jealous behavior. I would guess you are probably right that he is trying to seperate her from any support system she has, in an effort to gain absolute control over her. But, Hen’s, the fact that she allows it is a sign that she’s not ready to believe anything or anyone who tries to inform her….she will regard it as an effort to sabatoge her relationship, and she will resent you. She is still in denial and bargainning, believing if she just behaves the way she wishes, all will be fine….just fine.
She’s probably already up to her ears in cog-dis, and probably walking on egg-shells, but she’s not ready to pull off the blinders.
Maybe a background check, as Oxy suggested, but even that, I would tread very carefully on.
Sorry. Correction. That should have read, ‘that if she just behaves the way HE want her to behave, all will be fine.”
Hens, do you know how she met this marine? How long has the relationship gone on? Is he the same age as her? Those would be things that I would consider as well. I do think a background check and maybe talking to the sheriff because it does sound like this man could be or is violent and/or a con man. Of course TREAD lightly.
Ox , They met about 12 years ago. One of the ladys neighbors is one of J’s old marine friends. The neighbor wasnt keen on this meeting at all, said he was not good enough for the Lady. But the Lady has a history of controling men. One x husband, one deceased and now J. J seems like a nice guy but I always have been uncomfortable around him, and so have a few others, so it not just me. The Lady is happy as a lark with him, so be it. But that look of menacing rage he gave me and trying to run me over gave me the chill’s. She is 75 he is maybe 78…he runs 5 miles a day and is lean mean marine..
Kim your right he is a Narcissist.
Like i said i have nothing to gain from telling anyone, I just needed to vent,,thanx Ox and Kim….ps..he left to go back to AZ today, she is going out there for a few weeks, he wont be back till xmas…
i mean how do I act like nothing happened
when I see him…? I want to let him know that I know what he did…but I cant put my job in jeopardy. but i am tired of people being pissed off at me because I am a nice guy.
Hens,
sounds like she told him what you said about him being after her money. Now he hates you. (BTW, my spath sister told her spath husband that I said –long before I knew he was a spath– that he was going to kill her. I only said it because of all the life insurance he put on her) It happens, that way.
It doesn’t matter what you do now. He sees you as weak. Prey.
Honestly, I think the only hope you have is to be boring. boring prey is like no prey at all. Practice being so boring. Talk about the shopping channel and what you had for dinner. Practice acting like you think he is the cat’s meow.
Then, leave books at her sister’s house. Thomas Sheridan is an author I’ve recently become acquainted with. Martha Stout is a good one. I love Sandy Hotchkiss for info on narcissism.
‘I have been frustrated by this because not all sociopaths/narcissists show this pattern of behavior to the masses. They appear to be good guys. They are not in trouble with the law, they appear to have a stable family life, and are successful at their jobs.’
not all people who commit crimes are caught- at least not for a long time. And they maybe don’t advertise it ( some do. My ex loved to boast about the criminal things he got up to as a teenager, though he was never caught or convicted ) Domestic violence is mostly private, so is child abuse. Lots of fraud goes undetected for decades: often because everyone thinks the perpetrator is too nice, too charismatic, after everyone wonders ‘how did they get away with it?’
Paterno didn’t commit ‘one mistake’ by looking the other way, he demonstrated a complete lack of responsibility and morality towards abuse.That’s a pretty serious character flaw.
Hens, if I were in your situation, I would not try to rescue the lady. But I might say to her directly that you prefer that he not be there when you come around. You might state exactly what happened to you without any kind of value judgment about it, and state that it made you feel scared and upset – that you don’t want your life endangered in order to come to work. Or you can just say you feel uncomfortable around him. She cannot argue with your feelings. Then the burden is on her to accept your boundary if she wants to keep you. If she doesn’t, you have a choice of whether you feel safe working there under those conditions. If the situation is toxic, it may be best to get out and try to find work in a healthier situation. It’s really tricky trying to interfere with other people’s relationships, especially when it’s someone you work for. Unless you value your friendship with her more than the job, I would maintain that professional boundary and just look out for your own safety. I would not assume anyone said anything to him or get involved with any drama with them. He could have it in for you because you’re gay or because you are a man in his lady’s life. Or maybe he had a bad day and took it out on you. Who knows? I would not delve deeply into the drama – I’d just want to keep myself safe.
Ironically, just setting a boundary to protect yourself from him will be a very strong statement to her that maybe she’s dealing with a dangerous person. It will probably be more effective than trying to warn her, giving her books, or using the word “sociopath”. But my guess is that she’s probably not gonna leave him.
I was driving to Zumba a few days ago, and had safely cut in front of a slow driver prior to getting on the freeway. He got on the freeway right behind me and then tried to run me off the road! There are a lot of dangerous people out there – I guess we have to ask ourselves at what level we want to get involved with justice, how important it is, and what we are hoping to accomplish. I’d say in both our situations, the risks of getting involved probably outweigh the rewards. In my case, I got to my Zumba class within 10 minutes of the event and danced it out of my system. I don’t like to let people like this ruin my day.