Last month I was in a law firm. Not because of a legal issue—I was there to discuss writing the content for their new websites. Two lawyers, who had been part of one firm, were setting up independent practices. One lawyer hired me. The other wasn’t sure, so he wanted to meet me. A week later I learned that the second lawyer decided he would write his website himself.
On Saturday, I was shocked to see a story in the local newspaper: The second lawyer, Seth A. Fuscellaro, who was also a public defender in Lower Township, New Jersey, was charged in a $15 million mortgage fraud scheme. The FBI actually arrested him in municipal court and escorted him out in handcuffs.
The lawyer was one of 11 people charged in the scheme. One man was also charged with attempted murder—he allegedly shot a witness multiple times. (The witness survived.)
As I read the article for the second time, I still couldn’t believe my eyes. When I met Fuscellaro, I saw absolutely nothing that might indicate any inappropriate behavior, let alone fraud on the scale reported in the newspaper. I had no reason to think the man might be anything but a busy lawyer.
Colorado movie massacre
People are having the same reaction, on a much larger scale, to the news that James Holmes, a shy neurosciences student who was working on his Ph.D., was arrested in the shooting massacre in the Aurora, Colorado movie theater.
People who knew Holmes, and knew his family, are stunned. Neighbors and teachers described him as “smart” but “quiet.” According to an article on CBSNews.com, “In high school, Holmes won a competitive position at a rigorous science boot camp and an internship in neurobiology at the prestigious Salk Institute.”
A video has emerged showing Holmes as an 18-year-old making a presentation to fellow students at a science camp, explaining “subjective experience—what takes place inside the mind, as opposed to the external world.”
Watch: James Holmes: First video of alleged killer released, on ABCNews.go.com.
Obviously, people want to know, “Is Holmes delusional? Does he have a mental illness?” It’s certainly too soon to know. But reporters are already asking the question:
Was this killer mentally ill?
“It says a lot about the type of prejudice we have when we automatically go to the presumption that a clinical mental illness was the cause,” says Praveen Kamban, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California-Los Angeles. “Even the surgeon general of the United States has said there’s very little risk of violence or harm from a stranger who has a mental disorder.
“Not all bad behavior comes from mental illness. Sometimes it can simply be bad behavior.”
Read Probe of shooting suspect James Holmes intensifies, on USAToday.com.
Syndrome of sociopathy (psychopathy)
Here is the point of today’s post: Just because someone behaves badly, even murderously, it does not prove that the person is a sociopath (psychopath).
Sociopathy is a pattern of behavior in which individuals manipulate and exploit others. It is a syndrome, which means the disorder is associated with several recognizable features, symptoms or behaviors.
As I explain on the Key Symptoms page of Lovefraud.com, Dr. Robert Hare identified the traits of a psychopath as:
- Glib and superficial
- Egocentric and grandiose
- Lack of remorse or guilt
- Lack of empathy
- Deceitful and manipulative
- Shallow emotions
- Impulsive
- Poor behavior controls
- Need for excitement
- Lack of responsibility
- Early behavior problems
- Adult antisocial behavior
Although James Holmes has yet to be charged in the Colorado shootings, let alone tried and convicted, he was caught at the scene and his apartment was booby-trapped with explosives. I think it’s fair to anticipate that he will go to prison.
Obviously, his actions were massively evil. Holmes planned his assault in a cold, calculated way. But is he glib, egocentric, grandiose or impulsive? Does he have a need for excitement? Did he have early behavior problems? Look at the video—does this guy at all resemble the human predators that we were involved with? No.
In my opinion, as heinous as this man’s actions were, he probably is not a sociopath (psychopath).
Joe Paterno
Here on Lovefraud, there was also a raging debate a few days ago about Joe Paterno. This case is a bit muddier, because we have learned, through the Freeh Report, that Paterno did lie, at least in reference to his knowledge of Sandusky’s behavior with young boys. We’ve also learned that he wielded incredible power at Penn State, used his power to protect his turf, and was willing to throw innocent children under the bus in order to avoid negative publicity and a stain on the shining image of Penn State football.
This is reprehensible. It is a betrayal of everything that the coach supposedly stood for. Still, based on what has been published about this affair, I doubt that any competent clinician would diagnose Paterno as a sociopath.
Keep in mind that not only is sociopathy a syndrome, it’s also a continuum. That means that a disordered person can have any of the traits listed above to a greater or lesser degree. To qualify as a sociopath, an individual needs high enough scores on enough of the traits to meet the threshold.
So perhaps Paterno would have scored high on “egocentric and grandiose.” But would he have scored high on all, or even many, of those other traits?
Quite honestly, I don’t know for sure. I never went to Penn State, never met Joe Paterno. I only have access to media reports, and they may be incorrect or biased. Many, many sportswriters have been coming out with articles saying, “I believed Joe Paterno and I was wrong.”
Bad behavior
Here at Lovefraud we’re learning about sociopaths, which is important not only for us as individuals, but for all of society. Millions of these predators live among us; they are incredibly destructive; and we need to watch out for them. The more people who are aware that they exist, the better.
Still, we need to guard against seeing a sociopath behind every bush. Not everyone who is power-centered, lies and steals, or even commits mass murder is a sociopath. As the psychiatrist quoted above says, sometimes bad behavior is just bad behavior.
Hens…..zzzzzzzzzt…….yepper, it’s a dicey situation, at best. There’s no benefit of tryng to warn this gal unless she were to discover a copy of Donna’s “Red Flags” book, by accident. (Nudge-nudge)
Marine….oy. 12 years of this? Oy-vey! Since this is a working gig, I would have to sort out a way to detach myself from the Lady, emotionally, and that’s no easy task when someone is obviously in the line of proverbial fire.
Just protect yourself, Hens, especially with regard to your sexual orientation. This guy wants to hate people using any excuse available. Jeeeeepers, the mere fact that he was visibly enraged is rather frightening to me.
Brightest protective blessings to you
Stargazer, I love that you’re truly dancing into your recovery!! I mean it! After the dust begins to settle, I believe that there comes a sense of joyous freedom to explore things that we’ve always wanted to do. I’m looking forward to that.
Brightest blessings
Thank you so much, Truthspeak! Sounds like you are arriving at that point, too. Now that you are free, you get to choose. I’m excited for you, too, for your new life. 🙂 Life does not need to be about constantly dealing with toxic people. Toxic people exist, and they are everywhere. But they need only have a small impact on your life (if any) if you so choose. I find that the more I release the toxic parts that are within me, the less I attract those people, and when they are there, the smaller an impact they have on me.
Hens,
I understand your concern for the Lady, but there’s no way you can warn someone about it, because even those who believe it won’t know what to do with that info either themselves, except tell it to her. And then it will just end with him denying it and her downplaying it and you being accused of imagining things.
I agree with Stargazer – keep yourself safe foremost. Whatever the reason was, you didn’t imagine what he did and at least on that day had it in for you and was treating you like a temptation for roadkill. Like that article someone posted the past days where a particular percentage of people purposely went out of their way and out of their lane thinking they were driving across an animal on the road (but was a test dummy set up). His action reveals what you are to him: something unimportant he can run over in passing glance without anyone making a fuss over it.
I think Stargazer’s suggestion is the most and best you can do; not just about him not being present when you are there, but that appointments are set up so that there’s little chance of him passing you by on the road or on your way out.
Darwinsmom,
Coincidentally, someone just posted that youtube video on my reptile forum where the guy put rubber snakes, turtles, and tarantulas in the middle of the road to see how people deal with it. He observed that a small number of people actually went out of their way to run the animal over. I used this as a jumping off point to mention how 1-4% of the population are sociopathic, and this started a lively discussion (I educate in my own subtle ways. :)).
Stargazer…I once dated a guy that tried to deliberately run down a dog. Ew……..just……….ew
Things aren’t “over,” yet, with regard to my situation, but there will be an end and I’m looking forward to getting to know myself.
A guy who deliberately tried to run down a dog? Wow, there’s a glaring red flag if ever I saw one. I dated a guy once who had a lot of road rage to where I felt scared to ride in a car with him. I look back amazed that I could stay with this guy for a year and even live with him.
Hey,
I appreciate everybody’s input. And Star is right, I am going to just avoid him when he is here. As I said the Lady does a good job of arranging that to begin with, so I think she know’s he doesnt want me around. The guy might me a x marine and a war hero but he cant change a frickin lite bulb or asemble a simple box fan without going into a rage. Her yard’s and garden’s are the envy of the neighborhood thanks to me. I am pretty handy to have around and I am sure he resent’s the fact that a fag can do so many things he cant.
When they first met J loved Colo., his two drug addicted dysfunctional son’s ( that he is always bailing out ) live in Denver. Well the Lady bought a 500 grand house out in Co. All of her family raised their eyebrows about that because she was the one with the money. After five years she had to sell it because she could not take the altitude anymore. Then she buy’s a 375 grand lake house here in OK…They never go down there, he doesnt like it at all. I have also noticed in the past he is always on the puter. Just like my X spath I saw more of the back of his head than I did his face. Anyway she thinks he is it, she is impressed with his military history and say’s he is a war hero. She has lot’s of money but her broker’s or money management people hav e an eye on what she spends, she can do what she want’s but I think they would catch on if something fishy was going on. He does keep her to himself when he is here, but she likes it that way. I also think he keeps her liguored up for whatever reason. She has often told me she doesnt have to have sex to keep him. Well I dont care if they are bumpin ugly’s or not.
My main concern now is seeing the asshole again, I am not going to act like nothing happened with him, And I am not going to sit and listen to the Lady glorify her fuckin marine BF anymore. She is always telling me they have the 3 main ingrediants to a relationship, love, trust, and respect.
His two screwed up sons live in Denver? Great! (not)
Just keep yourself safe, hens. I would hate for you to have recovered from one spath only to be harmed by another one. Hopefully, it was an isolated incident and you’ll never run into him again. As far as how you act around him, I would let go of it and just be cordial and gray rock like you would do with any toxic person you have to work with. However, if you feel unsafe, listen to that feeling.
Star, I really dont see him that often but when I do I always get the obligatory limp handshake with the look of disdain from him. Well next time he reaches out to shake my hand I wont. He may be out to get rid of me but I dont think it will happen and he knows it. But anyway going to try and put this out of my mind ( for now)