The beautiful young woman in the photo above is dead. On October 7, 2008, in Odessa, Texas, Kelsi Miller was murdered by her husband, Jarrett Weaver, a young man who fit the profile of a sociopath. He, too, is dead. Lovefraud just published their tragic story: Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
It’s heart-wrenching, worst-case scenario of what happens when people don’t understand the evil of a sociopath.
Kelsi Miller had everything going for her. Besides her obvious beauty, she was accomplished and caring. She was studying to be a nurse. Jarrett Weaver, however, was a manipulative drug addict who couldn’t hold a job. He was violent on the eve of their wedding, and the violence escalated to the unthinkable.
All the warning signs were there, if Kelsi had known what they meant. Jarrett rushed her into marriage. At age 22, he already had terrible credit, and all the bills were in Kelsi’s name. He erupted into rage many times. When his rage turned into assault and he was arrested, he pleaded for Kelsi to take him back, promising he would change and dedicate his life to God. He isolated her from family and friends. He threatened to kill her tiny pet Chihuahuas.
But Kelsi behaved as many women caught in domestic violence situations behave. Wanting to believe Jarrett’s promises and not his actions, she took him back. She didn’t tell her parents, who were justifiably concerned, what was really going on. She believed her husband, who so often proclaimed his love, would never harm her.
Kelsi Miller was wrong.
This case also shows what happens when sociopathy mixes with drugs. Sociopaths live to exert power and control over others. This makes them aggressive. Sociopaths also lives for thrills, which often makes them drug abusers. Jarrett Weaver was using alcohol, marijuana and Xanax. He was also abusing steroids, which probably made him even more aggressive—to the point where he lost control.
Or maybe he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. We’ll never know.
This tragic story illustrates why the world needs to understand sociopaths. The messages we all hear about “there’s good in everyone” are false. In fact, those messages are dangerous. And to whom are they dangerous? To the people who truly are filled with good.
Read Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
Rosa
Rune & Oxy:
Kelsi’s Mom says that Jarrett’s letter to Kelsi was not the only letter he wrote to her.
In the above post, she says, “we found a bunch of letters from him to Kelsi.”
It seems Jarrett was a notorious letter writer.
Are you thinking what I am thinking? Is anyone thinking what I am thinking???
I cannot be the only one thinking what I am thinking!
I am staying away from guys who write letters!! That is all I am going to say about that!!
P.S. RUNE/OXY: Please tell me I am not crazy for thinking what I am thinking. And I know you know what I am thinking! You have to know because you are the ones who got me thinking!
Ox Drover
Rosa,
Dear, I do NOT think you are crazy! Nuff said.
Rune
Rosa: A manipulator will use any tool of manipulation — sweet words, angry words, insults, orders. Communication — calls, texts, emails, letters, gifts, and even “no contact” — are all tools that can be used for good or bad.
You know how strange it feels when someone calls or texts incessantly — it’s a blast of “communication” that can certainly suggest an underlying intention to manipulate and control.
Yes, Rosa . . . and I don’t think you’re crazy either.
James
Rose,
I know that I thinking what you are thinking…
I think it really much like a part of that list from Dr. Carver list: “The Loser” Warning Signs You’re Dating a Loser. Number 8.
8. Breakup Panic “The Loser” panics at the idea of breaking up – unless it’s totally their idea – then you’re dropped like a hot rock. Abusive boyfriends often break down and cry, they plead, they promise to change, and they offer marriage/trips/gifts when you threaten ending the relationship. Both male and female losers may threaten suicide, threaten to return to old sweethearts (who feel lucky they’re gone!), or threaten to quit their job and leave the area – as though you will be responsible for those decisions. “The Loser” offers a multitude of “deals” and halfway measures, like “Let’s just date one more month!”
They shower you with phone calls, often every five minutes, hoping that you will make an agreement or see them just to stop the telephone harassment. Some call your relatives, your friends, their friends, and anyone else they can think of – telling those people to call you and tell you how much they love you. Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure. Imagine trying to end a relationship and receiving tearful calls from all his or her relatives (they secretly hope you’ll keep them so they don’t have to), seeing a plea for your return in the newspaper or even on a local billboard, receiving flowers at work each day, or having them arrive at your place of work and offer you a wedding ring (male loser technique) or inform you that they might be pregnant (female loser technique) in front of your coworkers! Their reaction is emotionally intense, a behavior they use to keep you an emotional prisoner. If you go back to them, you actually fear a worse reaction if you threaten to leave again (making you a prisoner) and they later frequently recall the incident to you as further evidence of what a bad person you are. Remember, if your prize dog jumps the fence and escapes, if you get him back you build a higher fence. Once back in the grasp of “The Loser” – escape will be three times as difficult the next time.
http://www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html
Rosa
James:
Thanks. This Joe Carver article will be my late night reading for tonight.
I still have more to learn!
James
Rose,
“I still have more to learn!” Ditto and you are welcome!
Rune
James & Rosa: That’s interesting information, but it doesn’t look at whether the “loser” is actually a mentally unstable person. Not all people who are psychopathic or sociopathic are that predictable. This information is a little scary because it doesn’t let people know that there are very unstable people who sort of look like this, but who are actually dangerous.
If someone is seriously “disordered,” then their thinking is both “unusual” — like manipulative and not really logical — and quite possibly dangerous.
I worry when people think they can solve some of these problems by being “more loving,” or “setting boundaries,” and they’re not considering that the person on the other end might actually be very out of touch with reality and thinking that they have THE RIGHT to do damage. (Rosa, I think you know why I got triggered into real concern previously.)
We need to be willing to distinguish between good relationship advice, and “good relationship advice” that can be DEAD WRONG if we’re dealing with a sociopath. Look no further than Kelsi’s story, if you’re missing the point.
Ox Drover
Rune, Good point (your last sentence) Kelsi’s story is a GREAT reminder that there is no way to “love them” whole, and that they can ONLY do damage to us.
The mindset of these predators parodies the old poster about
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back toyou, it is yours.
If it doesn’t come back,
It never was.
Only the last part is changed to:
If it doesn’t come back,
HUNT IT DOWN AND KILL IT.
Rune
The chilling truth is that the S/Ps read those words, “Hunt it down . . .,” and feel perfectly entitled to act on that horrific “advice.”
They have no respect for our rights to our lives, to our souls, to our right to pursue happiness and mutual love and support from those around us.
They are so completely stuck in their own heads, with their own crazy sense of entitlement to whatever thoughts flash through, that they can’t see us as separate humans in our own rights.
And why would any of us — knowing what we know now — choose to stay, or wish we could go back to those sorts of “crazy people”?
If you’re tempted to break “No Contact,” revisit this story.
blueskies
Beautifully said Rune.