The beautiful young woman in the photo above is dead. On October 7, 2008, in Odessa, Texas, Kelsi Miller was murdered by her husband, Jarrett Weaver, a young man who fit the profile of a sociopath. He, too, is dead. Lovefraud just published their tragic story: Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
It’s heart-wrenching, worst-case scenario of what happens when people don’t understand the evil of a sociopath.
Kelsi Miller had everything going for her. Besides her obvious beauty, she was accomplished and caring. She was studying to be a nurse. Jarrett Weaver, however, was a manipulative drug addict who couldn’t hold a job. He was violent on the eve of their wedding, and the violence escalated to the unthinkable.
All the warning signs were there, if Kelsi had known what they meant. Jarrett rushed her into marriage. At age 22, he already had terrible credit, and all the bills were in Kelsi’s name. He erupted into rage many times. When his rage turned into assault and he was arrested, he pleaded for Kelsi to take him back, promising he would change and dedicate his life to God. He isolated her from family and friends. He threatened to kill her tiny pet Chihuahuas.
But Kelsi behaved as many women caught in domestic violence situations behave. Wanting to believe Jarrett’s promises and not his actions, she took him back. She didn’t tell her parents, who were justifiably concerned, what was really going on. She believed her husband, who so often proclaimed his love, would never harm her.
Kelsi Miller was wrong.
This case also shows what happens when sociopathy mixes with drugs. Sociopaths live to exert power and control over others. This makes them aggressive. Sociopaths also lives for thrills, which often makes them drug abusers. Jarrett Weaver was using alcohol, marijuana and Xanax. He was also abusing steroids, which probably made him even more aggressive—to the point where he lost control.
Or maybe he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. We’ll never know.
This tragic story illustrates why the world needs to understand sociopaths. The messages we all hear about “there’s good in everyone” are false. In fact, those messages are dangerous. And to whom are they dangerous? To the people who truly are filled with good.
Read Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
James
Rose,
Ditto, not sure who brought it here, I think maybe it was henry? But I love it and read it many times. It’s helps me to remember which one I want too feed!
Rune
James & All: I have seen “narcissistic rages” that had nothing to do with any emotion — hate or otherwise.
You said, “People who suffer from personality disorder can be filled with hate. This explain why you will experience from time to time “narcissistic rages”.
I disagree. In some cases that may be accurate, but some disordered people use those rages to get an adrenalin high and to intimidate others. They may not actually have any “feeling” behind the action that looks like “hate.”
We should be very careful when we interpret their actions as if their motivations are like ours. This is another reason why we have such a hard time predicting their behavior — like, we never know whether their being quiet means that they are safer to be around or getting ready to do major violence.
All the more reason that we should get away, and stay away, when we have that capability.
The “wolf” story is a good one for us. It doesn’t necessarily describe the inner workings of the disordered individual.
James
Rune,
No doubt that’s true as well. This rage can be used to manipulate control and belittle the victim. But I have seen this rage with nothing less then hate behind those eyes. Also those that are passive-aggressive types won’t show us these rages but believe me they are there deep inside of them and only will come out if they feel cornered and not in complete control. They might hide it so much until ti blows up and then one can understand how people “disappear” or end up dead.
Our emotions need to be display at the time we experience them not later. If we deny or hide them they will build and build and then at some point it needs to go someplace. To me it’s a the story about the little boy who put his thumb in the dam. It may help for awhile but sooner or later the dam will break and then all hell will be let loose.
Rosa
Rune:
You are right. That is why I am educating myself on psychopathy. I need to be able to think like a psychopath in order to anticipate my sister-in-law’s next move, and understand her behavior.
When I am around her, I have parallel psychologies running through my mind at all times (healthy/normal functioning person vs. psychopath).
“We should be very careful when we interpret their actions as if their motivations are like ours. This is another reason why we have such a hard time predicting their behavior-like, we never know whether their being quiet means that they are safer to be around or getting ready to do major violence.”
That is why we are always “walking on eggshells”.
James
Rosa
“That is why we are always “walking on eggshells”.
Correct! This becomes a live survivor mode for us albeit consciously or subconsciously. We know on some level there is danger even if we refuse to confront it head on. This is just another “toxic effect” these relationships have on us. Of course after long term exposure to this and other issues it starts to effect our brains and physical bodies. Many will experience “headaches” stomach troubles. Feeling of exhaustions and a sense of being drained. This is our body talking to us and we should be listening to it.
Rosa
James/Rune:
I have seen “rages” in my 5-yr old niece. She will rage for seconds, or even minutes, for no apparent reason, and then go back to normal behavior like nothing ever happened.
But, I am not sure if she is “acting out” what her mother does, or if it is actually “in her.”
It scares me so much, and I want to have her examined by a child psychiatrist so badly. But, I cannot do that because I am not her parent.
This child is capable of emotionally bonding with people. She just has not done it with her mother because her mother did not do it with her.
But these rages or “tantrums” really have me scared.
My brother does not see the seriousness of this because he has been manipulated by his wife to the point where I don’t think he understands what is real and what is not.
He knows he is in a bad situation, but he has no idea of how to get out, or maybe he does not want to get out right now.
Or, maybe he is playing it smarter than even I realize.
Like I said in my above post, my brother thinks he “knows how to handle” his wife. That is why I don’t think he understands the seriousness of his situation.
All he would have to do is set up some cameras in the house to see what his wife is doing to their daughter when he is not around, and he would have his answers. Maybe he already knows but is too afraid to do anything.
I think it is like what Oxy told me. If he acknowledges what he knows is the truth, he will have to act. And he is not ready to act, at least not yet.
Rune
Rosa: I am glad you are standing by, and you are learning so much. God willing, one day your brother will be ready to wake up.
Is your sister-in-law the sort to “take advantage” of your babysitting? And, will you get more time with your niece if you are “reluctant” to take her? In other words, will your SIL PREFER to “inconvenience you,” whereas if you WANT your niece to visit, the SIL will get in the way of allowing visits?
I know you’re being a guardian angel.
Rosa
Rune:
Heck yes! She LIVES to inconvenience us. As soon as there is even a HINT that my Mom or I are making plans to do something, we get the call to babysit.
In fact, we have made it our strategy. DON’T BE TOO EAGER! JUST BE COOL.
Rune
So do you have “other plans” a lot? I’m seeing that if you “joined a book club,” got onto the volunteer fire department, and got a “second job,” she’d start asking you to babysit more often, eh?
(You could put the word out that you were doing all that, without actually doing any of it. Oh, wait. Am I suggesting you LIE? Dear me.)
Rosa
We don’t act eager. That is for sure.
She will be in kindergarten in the fall. That means she will be in school all day, everyday. So, I will not see her as much, but neither will her mother.
I am still deciding on whether I am going to address the school with what I know or not.
I am thinking I might wait until AFTER the school teacher gets a taste of my sister-in law’s behavior, and she will.
I don’t think it is smart to try to persuade people who have not gotten a taste of the bizarre behavior for themselves. They just don’t get it.
You have to wait until people have a bizarre encounter of their own with a psychopath, before you can educate them about what is really going on.
I am really getting good at sensing that. I can tell just by the look on people’s faces when we go to my niece’s events if people have had an “encounter” with my sister-in-law or not.
By the way, my total fee for babysitting my niece for the last 5 years is $0.00. I am sure my sister-in-law thinks my Mom and I are complete chumps for babysitting for free all these years.
Did I make a financial sacrifice for my niece? Yes.
Did I put my own life on hold for this little girl? Yes.
Was it worth it? HELL YES!!!!!