The beautiful young woman in the photo above is dead. On October 7, 2008, in Odessa, Texas, Kelsi Miller was murdered by her husband, Jarrett Weaver, a young man who fit the profile of a sociopath. He, too, is dead. Lovefraud just published their tragic story: Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
It’s heart-wrenching, worst-case scenario of what happens when people don’t understand the evil of a sociopath.
Kelsi Miller had everything going for her. Besides her obvious beauty, she was accomplished and caring. She was studying to be a nurse. Jarrett Weaver, however, was a manipulative drug addict who couldn’t hold a job. He was violent on the eve of their wedding, and the violence escalated to the unthinkable.
All the warning signs were there, if Kelsi had known what they meant. Jarrett rushed her into marriage. At age 22, he already had terrible credit, and all the bills were in Kelsi’s name. He erupted into rage many times. When his rage turned into assault and he was arrested, he pleaded for Kelsi to take him back, promising he would change and dedicate his life to God. He isolated her from family and friends. He threatened to kill her tiny pet Chihuahuas.
But Kelsi behaved as many women caught in domestic violence situations behave. Wanting to believe Jarrett’s promises and not his actions, she took him back. She didn’t tell her parents, who were justifiably concerned, what was really going on. She believed her husband, who so often proclaimed his love, would never harm her.
Kelsi Miller was wrong.
This case also shows what happens when sociopathy mixes with drugs. Sociopaths live to exert power and control over others. This makes them aggressive. Sociopaths also lives for thrills, which often makes them drug abusers. Jarrett Weaver was using alcohol, marijuana and Xanax. He was also abusing steroids, which probably made him even more aggressive—to the point where he lost control.
Or maybe he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. We’ll never know.
This tragic story illustrates why the world needs to understand sociopaths. The messages we all hear about “there’s good in everyone” are false. In fact, those messages are dangerous. And to whom are they dangerous? To the people who truly are filled with good.
Read Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
Dear Kind heart,
Hun, I KNOW what magical thinking is, I’ve done it all my life, and I know how it is to put your happiness in someone else’s hands, I’ve done that most of my life too.
I know you’ve got an F’d up family, probably at least as F’d-up as mine, but we CAN overcome this “rough start” because NOW we KNOW what the right path is….and while we have teh choice to sit and whine about how badly our families treat us, or others treat/ed us, that path doesn’t lead to anything except self pity and more whining. I’ve done my share of whining, “Oh, poor me!” and you know, it isn’t much fun, so the only OTHER choice is to “act like a grown up” and take charge of our own lives and DO SOMETHING POSITIVE.
Learn to set boundaries for these arse-holes and psychopaths and the ONLY “boundary” that works with THEM is NO CONTACT…and that also includes to quit thinking about them and think about taking care of ourselves.
I’m glad I didn’t offend you, that is the last thing I want to do here on LF is to offend anyone, but at the same time, what kind of a friend would I be if I only told you what you WANTED to hear, and not the truth (as I see it anyway) ((((hugs)))))
Kind Heart,
My S was dating this woman, right before I moved back so we could get married and live happily ever after WHAT A JOKE. Anyway, I tortured myself with thoughts of him being so happy with her, having sex all of the time and how he must really love her. And with all the thoughts like “is she prettier than me, nicer, better in bed,” etc.
When he told me it was over with her and I moved out here, it turns out that he never told her I moved, and cheated on her with me probably the whole time. I believed he was done with her, until a day or two before he was supposed to move in with me he called me up to say he was still in love with her and had been cheating on me.
It’s natural to have those thoughts, and sometimes I still get caught thinking “what if they are happy together.” It’s awful to imagine bc if it were true, that would mean he was capable of loving someone, just not me-ouch!
When I had first found out he was seeing this woman (before I moved out to be with S and signed up for a few more months of misery) I had asked him if he was happy with her, and if they had sex all the time and basically if he was living that fantasy relationship that I wanted with him. He laughed at me and said, “I’m still me, Jen.”
Of course he is the same freaking a-hole he’s always been. Sure maybe the sex would be better in the beginning, but before long he’ll be using the same tactics on her as he did on me.
Your S is no different with the Biker Chick, trust me!
I actually know 3 of my S’s ex’s. The girl he dated before me actually wrote me a job recommendation-she saw him for what he was a long time ago. She told me that when she first started dating him, he used to tell her how he was in love with the girl prior to her. It made her feel bad about herself, jealous, etc. But she was smart and left. Then I came along, and he would tell me how he wasn’t over her yet. I fell for it thinking, aw poor guy got his heart broken. Really it was just part of his plan to get me hooked and break down my confidence. I talked to a friend of his before I went back to the S, and he said that the new girl (who I also had met) was insanely jealous of me, bc he was telling her how he still loved me. Again-I was a retard and was like ‘oh he still loves me’ and went back to him, and he ended up leaving me for this woman. The day he randomly decided to break the news to me, he told me how he was still in love with her, and he just didn’t love me or find me attractive.
See a pattern?
Perfect S formula: Lie, create jealousy, emotionally wound = prepping me to be waiting for him to come back and use me some more when he feels like it. HE WANTS me to think he’s happy and everything is perfect so he can BLAME ME for our relationship ending, and whatever else he wants to turn around and blame on me.
So when I’m feeling down, I might wonder for a second or two if he is really happy with this woman, but then I remember his pattern and know he can’t be. I’m sure he’s telling her that he just can’t have sex tonight bc he’s just not over me, making her jealous and crazy, and more likely to spend whatever she can on him to “win” his love. Think of the hell she must be living in now. Even though I’m still going through a lot of pain, I can see the light while she probably hasn’t even figured out she’s a victim yet.
Ugh so even after writing all of that, I still get these little pangs of “what if he’s not an S and they are happy?” but I just have to smack myself with that frying pan and push those thoughts aside.
Also, just went to half price books and got “The Sociopath Next Door” and “Without Conscience.” I read both of these a while back, but then convinced myself I was overreacting, so now I’ll have a copy to keep by my bed for when I start having doubts!
BTW the woman my S-tick hopped onto is nearly 20 years older than me–but none the wiser. Still, was quite a hit to my ego.
hey guys, went out with a gf for dinner tongiht , then to the Coffee culture and we did a walk through one of the bar/grills and not much happening in this town. This is a gf who has been with me since my separation from my husband and we were talking about how things might have been different for the las t six years if we had never gone to the bars, just trying to imagine what might have been. Can’t go back but we’d like to think we’ve learned a thing or two. She’s very old fashioned like me and we were laughing and joking about how pathetic we are , in a fun way making fun of ourselves. We used to say we were dropped on this planet because we aren’t of the same kind of most of the single people we’ve come to know. We were also disgussing how we can’t even find a single solitary man attractive any more and how we are pretty much born again virgins haha. We drove by the s house on our way to the coffee place and there he was with his biker bitch in the garage where he lives and i thought, that’s where i’ve been for the better part of 6 yeaars and i could kick myself in the ass for enduring all that time in a garage. Im so far removed from normal when i was with him that i can’t even picture myself in a normal relationship, not that i have anyone in mind anyways. I was willing to sacrifice just not to be alone, how naive i was. And Done, i noticed a DEFINATE PATtern with my s, he always wanted what he couldn’t have. Example , always went on about the woman or wome n before me and did same to ones before i came along. Chances are he’s doing the same to the biker chick, they want what they’ve lost , never wanting what they have. I just want to forget i know the turd and not bother to give him any more attention. With my dad being ill, it has sure put things into perspective for me and brought alot of feelings out as i was trying to get approval just like with my father from the s. Difference is my dad loves and cares about me, something the s never did. Awful to say but it should be the s who is sick and not my dad. I feel horrible thinking it, but i think it’s a natural response and the loser s knew i had issues with my Dad, and played on them. I never want to hear him mention my Dad to me ever. I know i have issues with my Father but he would never want me to have endured what i did with the s so i don’t want to put them in the same category at all. I missed out on so much life in the last 6 years with the s and his parasidic lifestyle, i can’t go back but i will be dammed if i ever put myself last again. love kindheart.
Kind,
Try not to think about everything you missed out on. I try to just think of it as a hard lesson I had to learn, and try to remember all the things I’ve accomplished in those 10 years rather than all the time I spent with the S. It’s hard bc we did everything together, and covered about every topic of conversation. I’m just trying to replace those memories with new ones, or try to remember them as they really were and not through the rose colored glasses time allows me to wear. I like to tell myself that it’s not time wasted as long as I gain something from the experience. (like strength/wisdom)
I can also relate to the born again virgin feeling-unfortunately!! I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be able to love another man. I’m so on the look-out for red flags, I’m afraid I might not give a nice guy who just makes an innocent mistake a chance, bc I plan on using the One strike you’re out policy from now on.
Please don’t do that Done!!
In this post ,You sound like one of those women who think they are not happy or good enough unless they are with a man!! That is just SO WRONG!!
You are more than enough without some man hanging off you!
You know darn well that you can love another man any time you choose too! Get your power back girl!! And if you are the DONE I think you are…then there is no way on the planet earth you will put up with a cluster B!! and you can pick em a mile off…because we will TELL YOU!!! You are awesome and powerful Done, so don’t go playin that stupid “don’t know if I can love another man and my happiness depends on that ” crap! Because you are way way stronger than you are letting on now!
I want you to promise me you will never do the “if only” thing ever again!!!
Done:
My GF’s say I am a 23 year old virgin……
I view this as a good thing…..since my ‘wisdom’ years are much older and closer to my real age…but my virginal-sexual years are 23….oooohhhhh, MUCH younger!!
VROOOOMMMMM…… I’m a ready……..but not desperate.
By the time I meet the right candidate to take my virginity, he will be well screened and known, and it will be all MY choice!
WE are women, we are attractive, we are competent of having healthy relationships……we need to take the time to explore ourselves and set boundries!!!
Done: Excellent bedside reading. And re-reading. Enough people are seriously twisted in the head that it’s a good idea to fix that notion into YOUR head as well. (And mine!)
If we “get” the patterns of the disordered, we’re more likely to cut off the weird ones, and be a bit more patient with the genuine nice guys who screw up a coupla times.
Rune:
Couldn’t have been said better!
Kudo’s!!!!
Awareness…….keep it up girls!
Goodnight~