The beautiful young woman in the photo above is dead. On October 7, 2008, in Odessa, Texas, Kelsi Miller was murdered by her husband, Jarrett Weaver, a young man who fit the profile of a sociopath. He, too, is dead. Lovefraud just published their tragic story: Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
It’s heart-wrenching, worst-case scenario of what happens when people don’t understand the evil of a sociopath.
Kelsi Miller had everything going for her. Besides her obvious beauty, she was accomplished and caring. She was studying to be a nurse. Jarrett Weaver, however, was a manipulative drug addict who couldn’t hold a job. He was violent on the eve of their wedding, and the violence escalated to the unthinkable.
All the warning signs were there, if Kelsi had known what they meant. Jarrett rushed her into marriage. At age 22, he already had terrible credit, and all the bills were in Kelsi’s name. He erupted into rage many times. When his rage turned into assault and he was arrested, he pleaded for Kelsi to take him back, promising he would change and dedicate his life to God. He isolated her from family and friends. He threatened to kill her tiny pet Chihuahuas.
But Kelsi behaved as many women caught in domestic violence situations behave. Wanting to believe Jarrett’s promises and not his actions, she took him back. She didn’t tell her parents, who were justifiably concerned, what was really going on. She believed her husband, who so often proclaimed his love, would never harm her.
Kelsi Miller was wrong.
This case also shows what happens when sociopathy mixes with drugs. Sociopaths live to exert power and control over others. This makes them aggressive. Sociopaths also lives for thrills, which often makes them drug abusers. Jarrett Weaver was using alcohol, marijuana and Xanax. He was also abusing steroids, which probably made him even more aggressive—to the point where he lost control.
Or maybe he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. We’ll never know.
This tragic story illustrates why the world needs to understand sociopaths. The messages we all hear about “there’s good in everyone” are false. In fact, those messages are dangerous. And to whom are they dangerous? To the people who truly are filled with good.
Read Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
To me it sounds like both sets of parents may have been aware that this guy was bad news, but again, Kelsi’s parents couldn’t warn her off of him, and his mother also couldn’t protect Kelsi, and advised her to call her parents.
It is a lose-lose situation from both stand points. Kelsi insisting on staying with him in spite of her parents’ warnings, and him not responding to any help from his parents.
Why was kelsi roped in with such a “loser” in the first place? What was it about her that made him attractive to her, that made her stay after the beatings started? (Trauma Bond?) “Women Who Love Psychopaths” obviously answers most of these questions. She was a caring and loving individual, who had trouble setting boundaries, which seems to be pretty much the common denominator with this kind of relationship.
Did her parents raise her with the idea that there “is good in everyone”? We probably will never know the complete story unless some true crime writer picks up on this and runs with it after an investigation of the entire situation.
It is still a “crying shame” and a loss for everyone and for both sets of parents. My heart goes out to the son’s parents and the daughter’s as well. It also makes my heart SAD as it was all so useless and pointless.
I just googled both of their names…as I have with all of these news articles…the news article appeared with very little detail about him..other than their relationship changed after they were married…he became violent. (But obviously by friends testimory, he was violent even before the wedding day) .. His obituary says he was a body builder and love to play the guitar… and there was one article about Kelsi and the kind of person she was from her co-workers perspectives…the kind who cheered everybody up and cared very much for family and friends…it linked to her Myspace profile…last log in date October 2, 2008…she lists her status as “Kelsi i feel like I’m taking crazy pills” her mood was listed as “pirate” ?
What can be done differently…what can we learn from this…how can others learn…there is no reference to his history or awareness to the situation anywhere…I commend Kelsi’s mom for bringing as much awareness and speaking out about it as much as she can.
Both families have to be utterly devastated and must have felt so helpless…
That is a very sad case. Problem is, like so many of us, even after she had concrete evidence of how abusive he was because she experienced it several times to HERSELF, she still choose to ignore it. Not a criticism of her as she was just like me and so many others of us here, stuck in denial of the obvious, so I mean I can relate.
There has been scads written on steroid abuse and the violent tendencies it induces in some people. That coupled with xanax abuse and alcohol abuse—this dude was a time bomb even if he had NO pre-existing personality disorder and was “only a drug addict. They are often also master manipultors and users and controllers and often have bad credit and certainly like to blow all the money on drugs. Just like a sociopth they will do anything to hang onto whoever their life raft is or who they can sucker into providing for them.
I sort of figure if this guy had been an actual sociopath he would not have killed himself right there in that apt. with her. I think he would have stolen her car, her cash, whatever else she had of value and high tailed it to Mexico or somewhere thinking he’d get away with it, or even if he thought he might get caught, he would have wanted one last hoorah of partying, boozing, drugs, and sex before it ended..
But at any rate, it is a sad story that hopefully everyone can learn from by seeing the signs of abuse, how it escalates, and that yes it can happen to you.
The last line is perfect. So sad. I make it a point to explain PD to all I know, including children. Too often, almost always we make exuses for psychopathic behavior and fail to trust our gut.
Kelsi sounded like me, when I was getting abused my my Psychopath husband when I was her age. However my husband did not have any suicidal tendencies. Only homicidal. He was straight..i.e. he did not take drugs, or drink much. Poor Kelsi, Such a waste of a beautiful young life, all because of ignorance of the psychopath. I was surprised that he killed himself as well. Perhaps it was because of the steroids or perhaps it was because he knew he would go to prison for the rest of his life..
My opinion for what it is worth is that many times “drugs” and “alcohol” are the attempts at the psychopath for seeking thrills or highs, not a separate thing. SO many Ps it seems ALSO are drug takers or alcoholics. It isn’t the drug/alcohol that makes them mean, it just releases the inhibitions for thier EXTERIOR CONTROL. It brings out the TRUE face of the psychopath, it doesn’t CAUSE the psychopathic behavior.
I also think that suicide is not just for depressed people, but I can say that suicide is the ultimate violence and done impulsively in many cases from anger that has no other release and not wanting the consequences of their prior murderous behavior.
Steroid do cause “roid rage” and I really think my P son was doing them as a teenager, but he swears not (like that is an indicator of whether he did or not!) but he raged, but he might have raged anyway. I did notice he pumped up A LOT in a month at the gym and his body is not a “pumped up” genetically inclined muscle builder type. His brother is the “muscle builder” type body and doesn’t even have to go to the gym to look like he does and the P son was jealous of his brother’s body build….and everything else. HE wanted to be the center of attention in ALL things.
Why this lovely young lady stayed with or even was attracted to this piece of scum–drugs or no drugs—I think is because she was a caring and sweet and committed person, and like “Women who love psychopaths” says, liked excitement and dominant men. The Ps can play the Alpha male in one way or another. Whatever it was, though, he was NO MORE HOOKED than we were, her results were just more quickly fatal.
I mean we can LOOK at this beautiful young woman (a 10 on a scale of 10) and SEE that she didn’t have to settle for scum. Even if she had been STUPID she could have attracted much better class of man, but for some reason, she chose him and chose to stay. Partly because of lack of experience I am sure, and I would GUESS that as a YOUNG woman she hated to call her parents because she was ashamed of picking him, staying with him, and what he was (probably what her parents told her he was) I know that my son C stayed with his X-Wife partly because he was ASHAMED to admit I had been RIGHT about my advice to “get to know her better” before he married her, and she convinced him I was trying to break them up so they eloped secretly. (I WAS trying to break them up but I didn’t want to be “too obvious” about it! LOL)
After the divorce, he told me that the “bliss” lasted about 6 months before the HELL ON EARTH VERBAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE STARTED—being the good, caring and COMMITTED to his choice, my son stayed through the HELL ON EARTH. and when she would try to physically fight with him he would just leave the house til she calmed down. Her repeeated threats to “divorce you” kept him in linie and letting her control the relationship completely.
I can’t even imagine what emotional abuse this young woman went through before the physical started…can we say TRAUMA BOND?
Actually, I think my son C was NOT trauma bonded to her, her trying to kill him (In addition to the affair) RELEASED him from his marriage vows and I actually think he was RELIEVED. He never seemed to or expressed any grief over the demise of his and her relationship, just that he had been RELEASED from the trap of his “vows” which he was committed to, I think, more than her. (If that makes any sense).
But I realize HOW CLOSE I CAME TO the same experience that Kelsi’s parents had, losing him to murder from the P. I will forever be grateful to God that I didn’t lose C as well as my P-son.
I wonder how close many of us came to losing our lives from our Ps? I bet more than even WE know (individually).
Jen2008,
Suicide is a complex act. The truth is everyone that completes suicide is not of the same mind set.
I do believe that homicide /suicide combination has a whole set of different dynamics going on, then either would as a single act.
An s/p would be capable of suicide even though this seems out of character, for those that hold themselves in such “high regard” under the RIGHT set of circumstances. Maybe not as common but certainly possible. Think grandious “going out in a big way.” (Columbine)
Adding the right mix of alchohol, street drugs, and Rx drugs, can also be the right ingredient to give people suicidal tendancies. Even a sociopath, because the right mix of drugs distorts their “control” of thinking as well.
Think about cults and the twisted way suicide is used. Brain washing people to give up their lives.
Twin Towers (pilots)
Slow suicide. Drug addicts….Who are deaths door step and keep going back.
Suicide is complex.
Witsend:
Have you ever spoken to a behavioral therapist about your son?
Not just a therapist, a BEHAVIORAL therapist. One that specializes in your specific issue (teenagers).
Maybe you don’t have them in your area.
Basically, they would advise YOU on what to say/do in order to “get through” to your son, even if your son is refusing therapy himself.
Deaar Rosa,
The problem with therapy with the Ps (and some just ordinary teenager “rebels”) is that they do NOT value any adult’s opinion and therapy actually makes them WORSE because it teaches them more about how to fake emotions and the “buzz words” of therapy that simulate “caring.”
EVen ordinary teenagers tune out mom/dad and go to their peers for all their advice. Frustrating!
Rosa: Do you know of the book “Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!” I think that book is using some of the techniques you describe. I’ve recommended it to Witsend, and — yes, if we can modify the way we relate to them, we may be able to get a little bit of movement in their behavior.
Oxy, I recently learned of the dangers of using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with psychopathic individuals, and that chilled my bones. I think Rosa is talking about something else. Maybe we can get clarification?