The beautiful young woman in the photo above is dead. On October 7, 2008, in Odessa, Texas, Kelsi Miller was murdered by her husband, Jarrett Weaver, a young man who fit the profile of a sociopath. He, too, is dead. Lovefraud just published their tragic story: Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
It’s heart-wrenching, worst-case scenario of what happens when people don’t understand the evil of a sociopath.
Kelsi Miller had everything going for her. Besides her obvious beauty, she was accomplished and caring. She was studying to be a nurse. Jarrett Weaver, however, was a manipulative drug addict who couldn’t hold a job. He was violent on the eve of their wedding, and the violence escalated to the unthinkable.
All the warning signs were there, if Kelsi had known what they meant. Jarrett rushed her into marriage. At age 22, he already had terrible credit, and all the bills were in Kelsi’s name. He erupted into rage many times. When his rage turned into assault and he was arrested, he pleaded for Kelsi to take him back, promising he would change and dedicate his life to God. He isolated her from family and friends. He threatened to kill her tiny pet Chihuahuas.
But Kelsi behaved as many women caught in domestic violence situations behave. Wanting to believe Jarrett’s promises and not his actions, she took him back. She didn’t tell her parents, who were justifiably concerned, what was really going on. She believed her husband, who so often proclaimed his love, would never harm her.
Kelsi Miller was wrong.
This case also shows what happens when sociopathy mixes with drugs. Sociopaths live to exert power and control over others. This makes them aggressive. Sociopaths also lives for thrills, which often makes them drug abusers. Jarrett Weaver was using alcohol, marijuana and Xanax. He was also abusing steroids, which probably made him even more aggressive—to the point where he lost control.
Or maybe he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. We’ll never know.
This tragic story illustrates why the world needs to understand sociopaths. The messages we all hear about “there’s good in everyone” are false. In fact, those messages are dangerous. And to whom are they dangerous? To the people who truly are filled with good.
Read Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
Kindheart: Please carefully read Kathy’s post. Perhaps if you read her story, it will give you another way to look at your own life and your decisions.
I love the way Kathy forgives people from her past for making the decisions they made, because that was the best they could do.
Yes, Kindheart, as you go out looking for approval from people who don’t even know you, or don’t have the capacity to know and love you, you do set yourself up.
Tilly is giving you good advice. Maybe if you learn what it feels like to be treated well — even if it’s YOU treating yourself well — you won’t settle for these using losers in the future.
Ugh so I thought I was doing really good today, but I just went to the bar downstairs bc they are having a free crawfish boil, and I could see all these ppl having fun from my apt. Anyway, on my way down I was thinking about the S and how if he was here we would be sitting on the patio enjoying some beer. When I got to the bar I just walked in and went out the back and came back upstairs to cry. I am soooo freaking LONELY!!! Arhg! I hate this! What was I thinking moving to this freaking city!!! The only people I know in this whole damned place are the S and his sister. It would be so much easier if I had some friends here to go out with instead of sitting around just trying not to think all weekend long! It’s so not fair that I have to go through all of these emotions while the S just goes along with his new girl not giving a single thought to the torment he’s put me through. =( I wish he would die a horrible painful death!
Done: Why were you thinking about the S, when he is incapable of thinking about YOU in any positive way?
You said, “It would be so much easier if I had some friends here to go out with . . .” So, how do you make friends? Can you go to the crawfish boil and start a conversation? Meet a neighbor — someone who is NOT likely to be a love interest, and start making friends?
Think about where you would go to do things you would like to do. Then GO there, with an open mind about meeting people.
This is your life . . . you can start claiming it — any minute now!
Done:
Rest assured…..he WILL die a horrible painful death!
That said……Now you must work on YOU……LIVING!!
It might be lifes way of showing you that you still need to work on you. Maybe you still have work to do on yourself, before your ready to attract ‘healthy’ beings around you?
This may be why your not involved and sitting around thinking all weekend.
This may be ‘why’ life is protecting you at this point!!!!
Again…..IT IS…… WHAT IT IS……. GO with it!!
I know……it get’s old…..but you may need to ‘GO WITH IT’. Find content with yourself. Allow yourself to reflect on your life and choices. Allow yourself to be bored. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship.
You have alot on your plate, digesting all this (It has only been 5 weeks NC) and with your fathers illness, it is a pile on you.
You have things to work through…..concentrate on that. Your not rotting as you concentrate on other things rather than a social life……You ARE moving on……your healing, your evolving……your becoming ‘who’ you need to be. DON”T RUSH THE PROCESS because of your ‘boredom’ and ‘restlessness’.
It will pay off HUGE for you in the long run.
You’re right Rune. If I had the answer to your question (why was I thinking about the S) I would not be here, haha. It’s not as if I want to think about him, EVER. I’m feeling much better after my cry. Maybe I just needed to release. I’ve only cried a couple of times since NC, it’s unrealistic for me to think I’ll never cry about him again, but at least now I know better than to contact him when I’m lonely. I know if I didn’t have this site I would have called him, and started the whole cycle again.
My plan was to go to the boil and try to start a conversation with someone, but for some reason by the time I got down there I felt overwhelmed with anxiety. I’m sure I’ll meet people eventually, I know it takes time. It has just been a very stressful transition to a new city/state/job with the added stress of all the S stuff.
Also, the girl I thought was my “best friend” has turned out to be quite selfish and immature, and I think that friendship is over as well. I don’t think she has any personality disorders, but she is spoiled and used to getting her way. She threw a tantrum when I told her I was too tired to visit her last weekend-and hasn’t called me since. I feel like I’m always bending over backwards to make her happy and to make sure that I don’t upset her. I always go out of my way for her, but feel like she would never make the extra effort for me unless it was convenient for her. One visit, she had her mom come pick me up at the airport bc she got drunk with her boyfriend and didn’t feel like getting me. Anyway, I’ve decided that I don’t need any more self-centered people in my life, so I am not going to attempt to call her apologize for being too tired to visit. She didn’t want to visit me bc she is tired and doesn’t want to fly out here, but she expects me to make the 4 hour flight. That said, I am still upset at the loss of what I thought was a good friendship over something so trivial.
Thanks Erin!
You are right about it all (including the painful death part probably). I’m sure it is all for a reason, it would just be nice if I had a good girlfriend here to go out with. That won’t happen overnight, however.
I think you have confused some of my story with Kindheart, fortunately my dad is not ill, but I do still have a pile-that’s for sure!
I know it has only been 5 weeks, but I’m anxious for the grieving to be over. I feel as if I was grieving almost the entire ten years I was involved with the S. I was sort of hoping some of that pain would count towards the final grieving process, like a down payment. I guess it doesn’t work that way. 🙂
Hi,
Looking at this post, makes me realize that I should get my annulment done asap. We are not from the states but we got married in Las Vegas. We never see each other after that. So I think annulment is more suitable since we never live together to even have a proper marriage?
The last I heard from his family is that he has never returned home, New Zealand for years. So he has been hiding in USA all these years. I have surfed the net for law office to help me, but there is way too many. I am wondering if you guys know of any good lawyer or do i just need a paralegal at Neveda?
Do i have to fly down to get all these done?
I appreciate any input from you all.
Thanks in advance.
Rune:
You are on fire today! xo
Done:
This is gonna take a little longer than you thought. Do things you love for yourself, walk, bath, paint, shop, sing, music massage, movies, ( I love going to a movie alone now!). You gotta start lovin yourself before anyone else can. You don’t need to socialize to be living..that will come of itself later.
ErinB:
Could you please read this quote of yours to me everynight before I go to sleep:
“Rest assured”..he WILL die a horrible painful death!”
Thankyou! xo