The beautiful young woman in the photo above is dead. On October 7, 2008, in Odessa, Texas, Kelsi Miller was murdered by her husband, Jarrett Weaver, a young man who fit the profile of a sociopath. He, too, is dead. Lovefraud just published their tragic story: Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
It’s heart-wrenching, worst-case scenario of what happens when people don’t understand the evil of a sociopath.
Kelsi Miller had everything going for her. Besides her obvious beauty, she was accomplished and caring. She was studying to be a nurse. Jarrett Weaver, however, was a manipulative drug addict who couldn’t hold a job. He was violent on the eve of their wedding, and the violence escalated to the unthinkable.
All the warning signs were there, if Kelsi had known what they meant. Jarrett rushed her into marriage. At age 22, he already had terrible credit, and all the bills were in Kelsi’s name. He erupted into rage many times. When his rage turned into assault and he was arrested, he pleaded for Kelsi to take him back, promising he would change and dedicate his life to God. He isolated her from family and friends. He threatened to kill her tiny pet Chihuahuas.
But Kelsi behaved as many women caught in domestic violence situations behave. Wanting to believe Jarrett’s promises and not his actions, she took him back. She didn’t tell her parents, who were justifiably concerned, what was really going on. She believed her husband, who so often proclaimed his love, would never harm her.
Kelsi Miller was wrong.
This case also shows what happens when sociopathy mixes with drugs. Sociopaths live to exert power and control over others. This makes them aggressive. Sociopaths also lives for thrills, which often makes them drug abusers. Jarrett Weaver was using alcohol, marijuana and Xanax. He was also abusing steroids, which probably made him even more aggressive—to the point where he lost control.
Or maybe he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. We’ll never know.
This tragic story illustrates why the world needs to understand sociopaths. The messages we all hear about “there’s good in everyone” are false. In fact, those messages are dangerous. And to whom are they dangerous? To the people who truly are filled with good.
Read Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself.
Jen2008
Greenfern said: “I do not think that these were paranoid thoughts. I think it was a serious warning from the primal-self protection center of my brain trying to tell me to run””
I agree. Sometimes what looks or sounds like paranoia to others or even to ourselves is “justifiable paranoia”. In alot of Ann Rule’s books, the s or p committed murders to look like accidents or suicides and many of them got away with it for years before being found out. Sometimes they weren’t caught until someone else they knew died under mysterious circumstances too, then they were taken a closer look at. And sometimes some of them had girlfriend’s from years earlier that had also died under questionnable circumstances, but there wasn’t enough evidence to make a case.
Look at Drew Peterson, for ex. If Stacy had not disappeared, his previous wife Kathleen’s death would have remained ruled an accidental drowning. It is my opinion that alot more s or p’s commit murder that looks like accident’s or suicides than what people think. They just don’t get caught and entered into statistics.
Rune
Witsend: I think Rosa and I are suggesting similar approaches. “Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy” had a lot of advice that was VERY different from anything I found elsewhere. And it did shift things between my daughter and me.
Yes, Rosa, the usual parenting techniques just don’t work. They respond to more authoritarian discipline with even more negative behavior — and nobody gets ahead. I’ll be interested to see what resources you have.
witsend
Rune,
My library didn’t have the book.
I tried the other night ordering on amazon and of course I couldn’t remember my password on Amazon because I only ordered once before and for some reason it wouldn’t let me just do a new password as the sites usually do. Grrr…. I was frustrated. I HATE Passwords! Lol.
A simple thing like ordering a book…20 minutes later…No book. Will try again today.
Rune
Witsend: I know every penny counts, but I think the book retails for about $15 at the major bookstores. It’s one you might want to tuck under your mattress (the title is a bit offensive to the teens!) so you can read it at night, and UNDERLINE and DOG-EAR the good pages!
witsend
Rune,
I did order the book. today I WAS able to make a new account. I also ordered another that Oxy had mentioned.
Amazon is actually quicker for me because I don’t have a book store in my small town and have to go far enough away to get to the mall and major book stores.
I just thought if it was available at the library I would read it RIGHT NOW!
kindheart48
hey guys, just reading the above story and what a shame and what a wake up call. I can sit here and say my s was too much of a coward to ever do anything physical but that’s only because he would get caught. I esp like when the mother in her speech says that her daughter ‘s reasoning is simple. she fell in love with the illusion he sold her, my story as well. Im sitting here worrying as my father (narcissitic and distant but not a sociopath) is in the hospital and they are running some test s and it doesn’t sound very good and i’ve had a very non existant relatioship with him my whole life, hence being predisposed to narcissism and i do beleive it has alot to do with why i got involved with my s/p as he had many of the same characteristics as my dad only my father has a heart but is very self centered . The reason i am mentioning all this is i have a brother who is acloholic and i also suspect personality disordered, extremely manipulative and has gone through oodles of different family members money over the years . My poor father hasn’t even been diagnosed and my brother has already called a lawyer for a copy of the will. There is a farm involved which he is loafing on right now as he works in the oil and comes home to live on a part of the shop . Long story but the farm is in trust to me ssuperceding my father and step mother. I am dreading having to deal with this brother as he already has my dad gone and i said i think it’s presumptuous to be discussing anything at this point. I hate dealing with this brother at all but have no choice. All the knowledge with the s over the years to find out i have personality disorders all over the place. He keeps saying we need to discuss things etc. always has an agenda and i dread dealing with him at all esp. as i’ve just come out of a trauma program etc. dealing with the s for 6 years, don’t have the energy to fight and so tired of men and the treatment i’ve taken from them all. My own two sons are home at the moment(one leavign for Banff in a week and the other for military in Montreal in aug) and they care for me but they like to tell me how to live and worry about me. They are 22, and 26 and i have always managed to be responsible with finances but when it comes to my brother , i have to admit i need to be worried. Extremely persuasive and uses the pity ploy alot. any suggestions would be helpful. love kindheart,
kelsis mom
Thank you all for your comments—almost 7 months later I am still trying to make sense of this situation and have been unable to—such as WHY she would stay with him???? I NEVER understood what she saw in him in the first place—he was NOT ANYTHING like the boys she dated–I tend to agree with a comment someone posted that she was too ashamed to admit to her parents that she had made a mistake—–sometimes I think it could have been that—but then she was always asking me if I thought he could change—to which I told her there was more to the story than what we knew—to Jen2008’s comment—Jarrett WAS a master manipulator—he would cry crocodile tears–I mean he even had my son feeling sorry for him–and had my son call my husband and tell him that I was being mean to him (jarrett)—-I don’t think any of us can truly understand a “p” ‘s thinking or actions because we are not “wired” that way—also by the time he murdered Kelsi, he had already “stolen” her $$$$—she had none—her car was in the shop being repaired because he had torn it up inside AND out—–he sat in there with her dead body at least 24 hours before he killed himself—-there was a bloody bed sheet taken into evidence—I don’t know if he had planned to wrap her in it and carry her off and dump her—but he was such a coward—I think he killed himself to escape punishment—–nevertheless—I miss my baby girl soooo much I can’t hardly concentrate on anything else in my life and what scares me is I have another daughter, 15, who looks just like Kelsi—and I have discouraged her from dating at this point because I don’t think I can deal with that just right yet—-I keep her busy with her cheerleading and flag corps in the band, school, and taking care of her horses—I just dread the day when I have to start dealing with her driving, dating, going off to college– I have suffered post traumatic stress disorder since all this–if I don’t know where she is every minute of the day—I get really really scared!!!! God help me!!!!!
witsend
kelsis mom
I am so very sorry for your loss. There are no words that can can be said to a parent that has lost a child.
I would suspect your daughter stayed with him because he led her to believe early on in the relationship that he was exactly what she wanted him to be. The illusion is what she loved and clung to. This is what predatory men like himself do. They have a keen sense to read into what a woman wants from a man. And that is what they portray themselves to be.
I know what it feels like to ask the “WHY” question. It can haunt you and complicate the grieving process. As the grieving journey continues the “whys” can also make you feel stuck and UNABLE to grieve.
I sincerely hope that you are able to find an answer to these questions that you can hold in your heart as truth.
Like you, I had to come up with my own conclusions to the questions that burned deep inside of me. It took some time but once I was able to do this I felt at peace with this part of the journey and was able to grieve.
Bless you and your family. Take comfort with each other.
learnthelesson
Dearest Kelsis MOM,
God bless you and your family… Im so sorry and saddened for the loss of your beautiful bright sweet daughter…there are no words I suppose, but I thank you for sharing with us.
When I log on to Lovefraud since the article was posted, the first thing that appears is your beautiful Kelsi’s photo in the upper lefthand corner of my screen. My 16 year old daughter passed by me and said “Mom who is that? She is so pretty….
I decided to let her and her 14 year old sister read the article. I watched their faces and then cried when they cried…it was a powerful moment to be able to gently talk about the different kind of people in the world and the powerfulness of love and kindness and the confusion of it all when involved in an abusive relationship — and understanding the warning signs and how NOT to be treated or continue to be involved no matter how much one feels they should try to stay to make it better or hope for someone to change.
My 16 year old said she probably would have been just like Kelsi…(she has the kindest sweetest heart to the point of it being a detriment to her in situations like this…she gives to others more than herself and she sacrifices herself for others happiness…I have always worried that as beautiful and caring as she is that she could be terribly hurt in life by others if she didnt learn how to find the healthy balance of selfish awareness and selflessness.
Your daughters beautiful life and tragic ending really hit home with my daughter. She has been asking questions and wanting to talk about how will she know if she meets a bad guy? We may have never had this deep level of conversation if she had not passed by me the other day and saw Kelsi’s picture…Since finding LF and learning more and more about S/P/N’s I have begun to educate them on a smaller scale…but I truly thank you and Donna for sharing Kelsi’s painful story.
Many blessings to you and your family. I pray God will guide you and help you every step of the way…take care of yourself…take one day at a time…stay with us at LF if you are able to and would like to…you and Kelsi and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. ((Hugs))
sstiles54
Kelsis Mom,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I can’t stop thinking about your family, & the terrible pain you have suffered. I just want you to know you are in my prayers, & to thank you for having the courage to speak & to educate others about the dangers of the sociopaths & psychopaths among us. You are a very special person.