The story is shocking. On Friday, Leo Moran, 75, of Chester Township, New Jersey, was charged with the murder of Charlotte Moran, who was 74. They had been high school sweethearts and were married for 54 years. A man who grew up with Leo Moran described them as the perfect couple.
So what sparked the violence? Moran’s wife and son repeatedly insisted that he get counseling. He finally agreed to go, and then, according to his family, was not honest with the counselor.
Please stop now and read Chester man accused of killing wife of 54 years believed she was unfaithful, working against him, on NJ.com.
Sometimes we see cases of an elderly person killing his or her spouse of many years because the spouse is gravely ill and unlikely to get better. It’s almost an act of compassion rather than murder.
In this case, a few crumbs of information indicate that Leo Moran was not suffering from despair or anguish. Rather, if the reported facts are accurate, they may indicate that the man was a sociopath:
- Some neighbors thought the Morans were the perfect couple. Others thought Leo Moran was “a surly man quick to bicker.”
- Moran offered his wife a kiss, which she refused, so he beat her with a baseball bat.
- Moran said his wife was unfaithful and his family was conspiring against him.
- Moran said his wife initiated the attack and hit him in the back with the bat, but he had no bruises.
- Moran said his wife suggested they commit suicide together.
So the mask slipped, Moran became outraged by his family’s affront to his control, he allegedly beat his wife to death, and then blamed everything that happened on her. This is sociopathic behavior.
But for me, what is important is how this case disproves two generally held perceptions about sociopaths and mental health.
First, many therapists believe that sociopathy diminishes with age. I believe sociopaths never become less manipulative, although I was willing to concede that perhaps they became less violent, simply because they run out of steam. But maybe that’s not true either. Maybe they never lose their capacity for violence.
Secondly, many people, and perhaps therapists as well, have far too much faith in intervention. This is one of the most important things that we, as a society, need to thoroughly understand about sociopaths: Once they are adults, they are extremely unlikely to change.
Anger management classes won’t work. Restraining orders won’t work. Sometimes, the only sane and safe thing for people around sociopaths to do is escape.
But it’s too late for Charlotte Moran.
UPDATE:
Joyce Alexander notes that Moran’s actions may have been caused by dementia rather than sociopathy. See comments below. It turns out that she may be right—that is exactly what Moran’s attorney is saying. Read:
Attorney: Chester Township man accused of bludgeoning wife to death with a bat had mental issues, on NJ.com.
With this correction, this case brings out another important point—behavior that appears to be sociopathic may, in fact, have another cause.
This is tragic and heart-breaking. It seems to me that the highlighting of their long marriage is meant to make it seem like something suddenly snapped in him, whereas he had been a in a stable marriage until that point. Why point out that they were married so long? I know it’s a fact of the case, but the way this is talked about is as though the length of their marriage would make him seem like a good guy who is capable of a long-lasting commitment–especially since everyone called them the perfect couple. People seem to think either someone is a good guy or a bad guy, and there seems to be an argument that maybe he’s a good guy who got pushed a little too far. The general public cannot understand how a sociopath is all about contradicting dichotomy. They are both black and white at the exact same time, which blows people’s minds, because normal people are more consistent–whether in a good way or a bad way. They don’t understand an evil that walks and talks like a good person.
Sociopaths can seethe in subtle and subversive silence their whole lives, as long as everyone they control keeps playing their parts. They don’t suddenly become murderers. They are always capable of murder.
And Donna this is why I totally agree with you. I don’t think there is such a thing as a safe relationship with a sociopath, unless it is a non-relationship, the no contact one. This case goes to show that one can let you live for as long as this guy did and then one day just go ahead kill you, as though the behavior was always a part of his design.
Of course this story is far from complete, and many “news” stories are inaccurate in their entirety, however, assuming that all the facts are reasonably covered in this story, the man also could have been suffering from any number of mental health issues, including delusions that the wife was cheating.
The fact that the wife and family insisted that he go for counseling makes me think this may have been of more recent onset rather than something that was life-long. As for the neighbor saying he may have been contentious and cranky, well that is quite possible along with the decline of mental health in the elderly with the onset of dementia or OBS (organic brain syndrome) due to the decreasing blood supply to the brain or any number of “organic” problems. One of the very first signs of OBS or other dementia is that the person loses their ability of reasonable judgment.
The man becoming enraged when she refused his kiss (along with delusions) could indeed have sparked his outburst and violence and many male dementia patients become violent and contentious. Dementia also decreases impulse control. I think his “story” (which is of course not even possible, much less believable) being so simple is also an indication that the man is demented. Of course it could also indicate that the man is a sociopath, but in this case, given the age of the man, I think the motive for this murder is going to turn out to be more along the lines of dementia rather than psychopathy.
That of course doesn’t mean he wasn’t a psychopath before the dementia, or that they had a great marriage. Having worked in geriatric psych, and seen the havoc that is caused in families when dementia strikes a member of the family, just as Doug whose father was scammed out of $1.2 million dollars. Fortunately his father did not become violent, but just gullible.
Dementia can also act like alcohol, disinhibiting the person, so that if they (without the alcohol) harbored violent tendencies, they are no longer inhibited from expressing these and the full flower of the violence comes out.
Thank you Oxy. I was wondering about other possibilities. I’d love to know more about Leo Moran’s history to know if he exhibited this type of behavior all his life, or if it just started.
If it did just start at his advanced age, then no, he certainly is not a sociopath.
In a way, the possibility of dementia is even scarier. Not only do we have to worry about people with a history of violence – we need to worry about those who turn violent at an old age.
I have to weigh in here as a person with a 25 year relationshit with a psychopath.
Even though things were “bad” for the last 15 years, by all appearances we were a dedicated couple. Nobody knew that we didn’t sleep together or that he was poisoning me. The mask was always on. We held hands in public sometimes.
In the few months before he tried to kill me, his behavior changed. He seemed to be paranoid and crazy. He talked about being stressed looking for work (all lies).
Psychopaths don’t just go out and do their dirty deeds. They need a STORY to go with it. The story isn’t something they tell, it’s something they perform. They add props and other players. The more people who witness parts of their story, the more “real” it becomes. Sometimes, the story is only meant to justify their behavior to themselves. Other times it rationalizes their behavior to others. Either way, it serves to protect the mask. As long as there is a story to go along with what they did, nobody will ever come to the real conclusion: PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL.
They build up this story to a crescendo until they are ready to pop. Then they wack you.
When the jury is offered 2 possible motives: demon from hell or temporary insanity, they are going to choose the one that they are most comfortable with. Spaths know this.
I actually don’t think this will go to a jury, as any half way competent defense lawyer is going to get a psych eval on this guy. I would like a follow up story on what happens to this man and the outcome of the case. I am sure this must be a terrible ordeal for both the friends and family of this couple.
I think from both personal and professional experience with geri psych patients that he is going to be found incompetent….or it at worst will go for man slaughter assuming he is still in the EARLY stages of dementia where he still knows who the governor is and the president. Actually, that EARLY stage where they have lost their JUDGMENT is the most difficult to deal with.
My neighbor “grandpa” who has picked up (literally) a “crack ho” who shows up the first of every month when his check comes in, has started all kinds of things. He is NOT legally incompetent and it is not against the law to have poor judgment (if that were so we might all be locked up! LOL) or to “self neglect.” Yet he has started lying to his friends and neighbors and conning strangers into giving him gasoline or money, he is stealing from his daughter and siphoning gasoline out of her car. He never did these things before, he was a good neighbor and a good friend, now he is just enough “off” that he is lacking totally in judgment. Yet, he is still bright enough that he can wire his electric meter around the meter so he can turn his electric back on after it is shut off for non payment so all of his facilties are not gone.
In instances where patients were an “IMMEDIATE THREAT to themselves or others” and they were put on a 72-hour hold in a locked psych unit, if they were not an IMMEDIATE threat (note the “immediate in caps!”) they could walk out as long as they knew who the governor was, could tell time on a clock, and knew who they were and where they were, no matter how bad their judgment was. I have seen families totally distraught over what mom or dad was doing (like “Grandpa’s” daughter is! and like I am over my own egg donor.)
Con artists of all kinds prey on the elderly for this very reason, that their judgment is the first thing to go. I saw a study recently that said the ABILITY to DISTINGUISH AN OBVIOUS LIE from the truth, and to know what sarcasm was where two of the “first” things to go when dementia set in.
I would also add IMPULSE CONTROL seems to be one of the first things to go. We all know that a psychopath lacks impulse control and in many cases judgment so dementia can mimic psychopathy in many ways, just like a two year old without a conscience, and lacking impulse control and being “cranky” can mimic the behavior and attitudes of a psychopath. That’s why it’s called “the terrible twos” LOL
Just as a 5 year old who was HEARD getting into the cookie jar by a parent in the other room would say “are you in the cookie jar?” and the child, not knowing that the SOUND of the jar clinking as it was opened gave him away even though dad couldn’t SEE him in the jar would lie and say “oh, no dad, I’m not in the cookies.” The 5 year old’s, OBVIOUS to an ADULT, Lie wouldn’t fly, but the 5 year old doesn’t have enough knowledge to realize WHY. Elderly dementia patients also lose the ability to not only distinguish a lie, but to tell a believable lie.
If a person is/was a psychopath and they start to become demented or senile, their behavior is not going to improve, that’s for sure. My Uncle Monster (he had brain cancer and brain damage from years of alcohol abuse) lost impulse control almost completely and couldn’t be left alone for a single second because he would get out of a chair when he could not stand and would fall. Due to the fact he was a large man and debilitated physically it took 2-3 people to get him off the floor. He wanted whiskey, cigarettes and women and he wanted them NOW. LOL
Because hospitals are no longer allowed to “restrain” patients without very strict observation, and no longer allowed to chemically restrain them either, this becomes a problem for the staff as well as the patients and family.
Because most states don’t have reasonable restrictions on driving, patients like this are out on the road, driving and putting not only themselves at risk but others as well.
My prayers go out for the family of this man and woman and I hope that some reasonable resolution is made to the horrible case. It is a sad situation either way, manslaughter/murder or dementia.
Yep, totally could be dementia as I am dealing with my mom first hand. They become very defiant and paranoid. The age of this man points to that possibility.
Louise I am so sorry you are dealing with problem with your mom. It is very difficult. (((hugs))) and my prayers
Question:
do people with dementia LIE? do they decieve their therapist as this person did? His wife and son both were angry at him for LYING to his therapist.
He lied to the police about being hit in the back with a baseball bat. He had no marks.
He murdered his wife and he’s not even arrested. Must’ve done the pity ploy.
They are called People of the LIE for a reason.
They LIE.
Skylar, yes, to answer your question, they DO lie….their lies are GENERALLY not really convincing (depending on how far “gone” they are) but my neighbor “grandpa” lies to his daughter, steals from her, tries to con strangers on the road for gasoline….he gets in his truck and starts off to town knowing he doesn’t have enough gas to get there and carries a can and strangers will stop and go get him a couple of gallons of gas to “help him out.” LOL
He still has enough gumption to wire around his electric meter when it gets shut off, and he would never have done any of those things before the senility set in. The “meth ho” that targeted him can get him to do these things to “help her out” because he’s in love.
This man may not have been any “saint” before he killed his wife, but I think the indications are there that he is at least early stages of dementia (as far as you can tell from an article in the media.)
People with early onset dementia lack JUDGMENT and they can become very paranoid and delusional…when they misplace things they think someone has deliberately moved them. The frustration of actually suspecting that they are becoming “senile” can also be a problem.
In head injuries where there is some brain dysfunction (whether this is a stroke, organic problems, diminished blood supply, or whatever the cause, the EMOTIONAL problems caused by the patient KNOWING THEY ARE NOT FUNCTIONING WELL can be the worst part of the problem. I know it was with my step son as well after his traumatic brain injury. He looked okay, and he could talk to you and superficially he seemed okay, but he wasn’t and he knew it, and him knowing it was a big problem. He became hostile, paranoid, impulsive, and sneaky. He should not have been driving a car, but he took a car and was driving it in the middle of the night and crashed on ice….thank God no one else was killed. Part of the problem with him was also that his mother refused to accept that he WAS brain injured. We had him tested and he tested out VERY LOW functioning.
Looking back, we probably should have gotten a guardianship over him and we didn’t, as all this was happening about the time that Patrick went to prison for killing that young woman, my MIL who lived with us was having strokes and she became paranoid and demented. You can only do so much though….and enough stress at any one time will make you forget a detail or two and that year was a doozie! It was my WINTER of CHAOS!
“I’m not an expert in that area, but if you ask me as a lay person, I don’t know he fully understands the dynamics of what he is involved in,” Porfido said. “I don’t know if he fully understands and appreciates that his wife is gone.”
S PATH!