The story is shocking. On Friday, Leo Moran, 75, of Chester Township, New Jersey, was charged with the murder of Charlotte Moran, who was 74. They had been high school sweethearts and were married for 54 years. A man who grew up with Leo Moran described them as the perfect couple.
So what sparked the violence? Moran’s wife and son repeatedly insisted that he get counseling. He finally agreed to go, and then, according to his family, was not honest with the counselor.
Please stop now and read Chester man accused of killing wife of 54 years believed she was unfaithful, working against him, on NJ.com.
Sometimes we see cases of an elderly person killing his or her spouse of many years because the spouse is gravely ill and unlikely to get better. It’s almost an act of compassion rather than murder.
In this case, a few crumbs of information indicate that Leo Moran was not suffering from despair or anguish. Rather, if the reported facts are accurate, they may indicate that the man was a sociopath:
- Some neighbors thought the Morans were the perfect couple. Others thought Leo Moran was “a surly man quick to bicker.”
- Moran offered his wife a kiss, which she refused, so he beat her with a baseball bat.
- Moran said his wife was unfaithful and his family was conspiring against him.
- Moran said his wife initiated the attack and hit him in the back with the bat, but he had no bruises.
- Moran said his wife suggested they commit suicide together.
So the mask slipped, Moran became outraged by his family’s affront to his control, he allegedly beat his wife to death, and then blamed everything that happened on her. This is sociopathic behavior.
But for me, what is important is how this case disproves two generally held perceptions about sociopaths and mental health.
First, many therapists believe that sociopathy diminishes with age. I believe sociopaths never become less manipulative, although I was willing to concede that perhaps they became less violent, simply because they run out of steam. But maybe that’s not true either. Maybe they never lose their capacity for violence.
Secondly, many people, and perhaps therapists as well, have far too much faith in intervention. This is one of the most important things that we, as a society, need to thoroughly understand about sociopaths: Once they are adults, they are extremely unlikely to change.
Anger management classes won’t work. Restraining orders won’t work. Sometimes, the only sane and safe thing for people around sociopaths to do is escape.
But it’s too late for Charlotte Moran.
UPDATE:
Joyce Alexander notes that Moran’s actions may have been caused by dementia rather than sociopathy. See comments below. It turns out that she may be right—that is exactly what Moran’s attorney is saying. Read:
Attorney: Chester Township man accused of bludgeoning wife to death with a bat had mental issues, on NJ.com.
With this correction, this case brings out another important point—behavior that appears to be sociopathic may, in fact, have another cause.
Leo Moran was mean. He poisoned kittens. He threatened ,harrassed, nd frightened his neighbors. HE WAS THE ONE WHO FOUND HIS NEIGHBOR AT HIS VACATION HOME IN PENNSYLVANIA (RUSS LOBB ) “On the floor with a head injury”!!!! A NIEGHBOR WHO REFUSED TO SIGN A FIRST RIGHT OF REFUSAL TO HIS PROPERTY UPON DEATH. AND THE YEAR BEFORE A NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR WAS FOUND UNRESPONSIVE WHO HE FOUGHT WITH ALL THE TIME. HE HAD A VICIOUS ROTTWEILLER THAT HE LET OUT NO LEASH OR ENCLOSURE. ASK HIS NEIGHBORS IN PA.
Nonamepplease,
That is interesting information to add to the little bit of information that we had. It sounds like you knew this man or were neighbors with him.
It also sounds like he had a “convenient’ habit of finding people he had quarreled with unconscious….
Sometimes though, as the brain ages, the “real them” comes out with the impulse controls totally gone and paranoia setting in, in males with dementia the trend seems to be they get more violent as the brain loses judgment and memory. If the person is controlling to start with they get WORSE and more violent.
Thanks for sharing this information—of course there is no way that WE HERE can make a medical judgment about this man’s sanity or lack of it, but it is simply a subject of discussion.
Psychopaths also get senile and paranoid. Thanks.
Psychopaths also pretend to be senile and paranoid. I recorded my spath crying because I had caused him so much stress when all he wanted to do was earn a living to support us. The con went on for 6 months. It was supposed to end after 8 months when I was scheduled to die by suicide. Or perhaps before.
Yes, some spaths stay married for 50 years or more. Look at Bernie Madoff, it is part of the facade. Moran’s lie, “she hit me first” is all I need, to know the truth.
Why didnt he call 911? Cuz his son is a state trooper and he knew they would use it in court. He s trying to get off with self defense or dementia. He knew exactly what he was doing. He has been cold and calculating for the 13yrs. I know and thats not dementia. He has just been getting away with it.
Nonamesplease,
That’s why news stories Which tell less than the WHOLE TRUTH or are actually slanted are not always a good way to realize what is really happening. We look at them as best we can to get the whole story, but it isn’t always there.
Thanks for this information….it helps to see the man in perspective. We are all here familiar with how “mean’ (psychopathic) people operate and how they pretend to be something else….we call it the “mask” sometimes some mean people don’t even bother with the mask they just strike out and know they can get away with it. I hope he rots.
I am brand new here, though I’ve also been lurking around reading from the sidelines, both enlightened and appalled by the true stories here.
Is there a section where new members can post their stories or ask questions? Forgive me for not yet being aware of how the website works!
I picked this blog b/c Skylar posted something back in December (I think) relevant to my own situation, so I esp. wanted to ask her a question.
I want to say that though I know the stories here are true, I can’t believe what you all have had to live through. I believe it, but it’s so unbelievable to know how some people choose to conduct themselves. It is really hard to get your head around…you can’t make any sense out of it. I am sorry to read about what you all have been through, but grateful you are sharing your thoughts and experiences here, to help yourself, as well as others, heal.
Dear Looking for truth,
There is no one place that we “post our stories” so just pick a thread and go for it..where ever you feel comfortable.
Welcome to LoveFraud and sorry that you qualify to join our “club ” b ut since you do, this is the best place for support and understanding. Again Welcome.
Looking for truth,
welcome to LF, sorry for the experience that brought you here.
Ask any question you like.
I’ll try to answer it. If I don’t get right back to you it’s because I had to go out or because I need to think about it.
Thx, Ox and Skylar for the welcome. Okay, here goes. Only 2 people out in the real world know what’s going on”my therapist and my best friend. And even they have at times suggested, “He probably didn’t mean it like that”, minimizing and excusing what did not feel right to me, while I was on the receiving end. There is always the fear that my H will read what I’ve written on-line somewhere, even though I do so anonymously in an effort to stay under the radar, away from him.
On the surface, my story is not like the others, b/c most of what my H has done is more to the covert side”not only covert as far as hiding it from the rest of the world, but also, covert in hiding it from me. I’ve not had to call the police yet, though there have been subtle signs that he is capable of physical violence. Given my H’s history of lying, double lives, overall deceitful behavior, stealing, infidelity/sex addiction, extremely reckless driving, angry though unwarranted outbursts, intense irritability, shoplifting, and past animal abuse I’ve witnessed, along with all of the emotional abuse in general, I more often than not think the worst of him, even without concrete “proof”. There is more, one thing in particular that I am afraid to mention even here. I already know a lot of his secrets, and I shudder to think of the ones that exist of which I am not yet aware. I honestly do not know if he is sociopath, though I do believe he suffers from at least one of the personality disorders, if not more. Which one becomes the trick question.
Our pets have been ill at times, and I too have been “ill” at times. I am currently awaiting initial results of lab work, in an effort to diagnose what my symptoms mean. One of the tests they ran was for levels of arsenic in my blood. It chills me to the bone to write that, let alone think about it. I have wondered off and on for the past 3 years whether or not he’s been slipping me things, but it’s easy to dismiss during long lulls being symptom-free. I told the neurologist, “At the risk of sounding paranoid or delusional, I am not convinced he is, but I am also not convinced he isn’t. I have to consider this, due to his unscrupulous track record so far.” He included this test on the script without hesitation. My H works in a pharmaceutical manufacturing plant, so he has plenty of access to lots of different things. I have to consider this possibility, as serious an allegation as it is. After reading here, nothing surprises me any longer at just how unscrupulous these people can be.
My H has systematically worn me down over time, to the point I am not mentally strong enough to work at the moment, though I am doing all I can to change that (individual therapy, a live support group, on-line communities, reading, journaling, spending time with “normal” people, like family and friends). I had started doing better, but then my Mother suddenly became ill and after 6 days of watching her suffer, she passed. It has only been one month since. I know I need to get out and away from my H, but first, I need to be able to financially support myself and my teenage son. In the meantime, I have learned the art of “emotionally detaching” to get through, which helps tremendously in dealing with my H, but detaching isn’t really who I am”so I am still sacrificing parts of myself in the process.
One side of my brain tells me there is no way he would do such a thing as poison me. He might do a lot of bad things, but he would never go that far. The other side of my brain tells me to remember everything he’s done so far, so just why would someone like him stop at that? I have to remind myself that as uncommon as it is, there are still cases of people being poisoned by their spouses. How do I know for sure I am not one of them? I don’t.
Skylar, if you see this, can I ask how you caught on to him doing this to you? Some of them do so “systematically”, just like they systematically break us down over time. You don’t necessarily become so violently ill that you immediately land in the hospital. I came close a few times to heading to the ER, though, but it didn’t come to that, b/c my worst symptoms suddenly backed off, just at the point I was ready to go.
Thank you for any insight you can offer me, Skylar and anyone else. My H was extremely nervous the night he found out I had gone for my bloodwork. I have been a nervous wreck since myself, waiting for the results, though I tend to think nothing is going to show up there anyway, and that further testing will be needed. This is really sick that I have even had to go there.
No worries about any delays in replying…though I’ve been nervous about what my H is potentially up to, I am overall a pretty laidback person, and I do understand that everyone has lives beyond what goes on on the Internet!!
Looking,
My spath was also extremely covert. He mirrored my love of animals and my kindness. Because of that, I would never have believed anything bad about him. When I saw things that contradicted this belief in his goodness, I told myself that I was wrong. I was wrong to judge, I was wrong in my assessment and I was wrong in my suspicions.
These are typical reactions for someone in a relationshit with a spath. Rather than place blame where it belongs, instead we take responsibility for all the problems.
I continued to move my boundaries further and further back to accommodate his immoral and illegal behaviors. In my defense, I will say that this is part of my spath’s strategy. EVERYONE that knows him eventually crosses that line in order to accommodate his needs. Cops, church pastors, millionaires and billionaires, pharmacists, average joe’s and many others get tempted down the slippery slope as he pity ploy’s them into using their influence or authority to “help him out” because he’s such a nice guy.
So how did I “figure it out”. I never really did until after I left him, then all kinds of information came at me from various places, including my own memory.
The moment when I was finally able to see him for what he was, came when he turned up the heat a bit too fast. He had decided to kill me, so he started a con to get me to sign over my business and put it in his name. There were 4 or 5 months of strategic gas lighting. I did recognize the pattern that I had seen before, but I kept thinking someone was playing a trick on HIM. Then he said, “the only way we can protect ourselves is if you put the business in my name.” I LITERALLY SAW AND HEARD A BELL RINGING. I’m not kidding.
Up in the corner of my right eye, there appeared what looked like a church bell. And it was clanging, loudly. No, I wasn’t sleeping, I was standing there wide awake, talking to him.
This is why I know that the right brain is aware of things and trying to inform us. It does this with imagery. We have to pay attention.
Anyway, I could go on and on with my story. I’ll try to be brief:
When I left him, I began to feel better in a few days. On the second day, I went to check on the house and all the FOOD was gone! I had my blood and hair checked for drugs, all came back negative. By the end of the week I felt better than ever. The constant pain in my neck and shoulders was gone. About 3 months later I asked him what he had poisoned me with and he said, “strychnine and botulism toxin. I liked to use little bits of this and that.” I really didn’t believe him but when I looked up the symptoms, I saw that they both caused severe muscle spasms in the neck and shoulders. So he told the truth, but in such a way that I would doubt it. Spaths can’t be straight about anything.
I would suggest that you do not inform him of your blood tests or the results. Say they were negative. He may kill you if he thinks the jig is up. Look what Josh Powell did to his boys when he thought he would be psych evaluated and his boys had begun to talk.
What are your symptoms? Get tested for strychnine.