The story is shocking. On Friday, Leo Moran, 75, of Chester Township, New Jersey, was charged with the murder of Charlotte Moran, who was 74. They had been high school sweethearts and were married for 54 years. A man who grew up with Leo Moran described them as the perfect couple.
So what sparked the violence? Moran’s wife and son repeatedly insisted that he get counseling. He finally agreed to go, and then, according to his family, was not honest with the counselor.
Please stop now and read Chester man accused of killing wife of 54 years believed she was unfaithful, working against him, on NJ.com.
Sometimes we see cases of an elderly person killing his or her spouse of many years because the spouse is gravely ill and unlikely to get better. It’s almost an act of compassion rather than murder.
In this case, a few crumbs of information indicate that Leo Moran was not suffering from despair or anguish. Rather, if the reported facts are accurate, they may indicate that the man was a sociopath:
- Some neighbors thought the Morans were the perfect couple. Others thought Leo Moran was “a surly man quick to bicker.”
- Moran offered his wife a kiss, which she refused, so he beat her with a baseball bat.
- Moran said his wife was unfaithful and his family was conspiring against him.
- Moran said his wife initiated the attack and hit him in the back with the bat, but he had no bruises.
- Moran said his wife suggested they commit suicide together.
So the mask slipped, Moran became outraged by his family’s affront to his control, he allegedly beat his wife to death, and then blamed everything that happened on her. This is sociopathic behavior.
But for me, what is important is how this case disproves two generally held perceptions about sociopaths and mental health.
First, many therapists believe that sociopathy diminishes with age. I believe sociopaths never become less manipulative, although I was willing to concede that perhaps they became less violent, simply because they run out of steam. But maybe that’s not true either. Maybe they never lose their capacity for violence.
Secondly, many people, and perhaps therapists as well, have far too much faith in intervention. This is one of the most important things that we, as a society, need to thoroughly understand about sociopaths: Once they are adults, they are extremely unlikely to change.
Anger management classes won’t work. Restraining orders won’t work. Sometimes, the only sane and safe thing for people around sociopaths to do is escape.
But it’s too late for Charlotte Moran.
UPDATE:
Joyce Alexander notes that Moran’s actions may have been caused by dementia rather than sociopathy. See comments below. It turns out that she may be right—that is exactly what Moran’s attorney is saying. Read:
Attorney: Chester Township man accused of bludgeoning wife to death with a bat had mental issues, on NJ.com.
With this correction, this case brings out another important point—behavior that appears to be sociopathic may, in fact, have another cause.
skylar says:
I have to weigh in here as a person with a 25 year relationshit with a psychopath.
Even though things were “bad” for the last 15 years, by all appearances we were a dedicated couple. Nobody knew that we didn’t sleep together or that he was poisoning me. The mask was always on. We held hands in public sometimes.
In the few months before he tried to kill me, his behavior changed. He seemed to be paranoid and crazy. He talked about being stressed looking for work (all lies).
Psychopaths don’t just go out and do their dirty deeds. They need a STORY to go with it. The story isn’t something they tell, it’s something they perform. They add props and other players. The more people who witness parts of their story, the more “real” it becomes. Sometimes, the story is only meant to justify their behavior to themselves. Other times it rationalizes their behavior to others. Either way, it serves to protect the mask. As long as there is a story to go along with what they did, nobody will ever come to the real conclusion: PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL.
They build up this story to a crescendo until they are ready to pop. Then they wack you.
When the jury is offered 2 possible motives: demon from hell or temporary insanity, they are going to choose the one that they are most comfortable with. Spaths know this.
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My goodness, sky, now I DO realize how close our thoughts are. Listening to you is like looking into a mirror of some kind. I had to copy and repaste that because it is so very profound. You have seen that true and pure unadulterated evil…..so unlike any other…mesmerizing in it’s hold, almost…
Thank you again for the validation.
Your words mean a lot to me.
Dupey
New Beginning
Thinking of you here–hope you are all right. Emotional topic that is still close to home for you.
Take care
STJ
xxx
When I read this, that’s the first thing that came to my mind: dementia; due to the age of the individual and the sudden onset. Senile dementia and Alzheimer’s is the brain almost literally dissolving, and it seems that the executive function (that usually controls and moderates our emotions) often deteriorates first. The abnormal behaviors and changes in personality due to dementia can come on gradually or rather quickly. My mother had delusional and paranoid thoughts and feelings her whole life due to borderline personality disorder, but as she entered her 80s over a period of just a few months she began evidencing more extreme, frequent and intense delusions and paranoia plus she began hallucinating. She began acting in abnormal ways that were dangerous to herself and to others. So, I agree with the conclusion that aggressive, violent behaviors can have more than one cause, including traumatic brain injury, senile dementia, certain kinds of autism, psychopathy (sociopathy), drugs/alcohol, and mental illnesses like schizophrenia and some of the personality disorders.
STJ:
Thank you. I know…it takes a village to take care of a dementia patient and I realize we are not going to be able to do it, but my brothers are extremely stubborn and won’t listen to anything and we are a super dysfunctional family anyway so it is just tough all around. I pray a lot that it will all work out, but it is going to take work.
I know my mom will be better off eventually in a home…it will be better for everyone involved…her and us. I can see how the stress would be soooo much less by being able to go visit her and enjoy her without the burden of having to take care of her. And like most people, she doesn’t want us to have to take care of her.
Thank you again for your caring concern. I will keep everyone posted!
Oxy:
Thank you for responding to me. You are so right!!! I am sure that if I gave up everything and moved back home, the job I was doing wouldn’t be good enough. Plus, I would be stuck taking care of my mom while he and my other brother would still be going on with THEIR lives! I know they wouldn’t help at all and they live there very nearby. UGGHH. I hate it to sound like I feel like I would be “stuck” taking care of my mom. I love her and would do it if I absolutely had to, but I think you know what I mean. Anyway, she doesn’t want her kids to have to take care of her. She has said that in the past and I think most people feel this way…they don’t want to burden their families.
Oh, totally…a guilt trip!! You hit the nail on the head; thank you for realizing it. He KNOWS he is not doing what he is supposed to do while I am doing everything I can from 400 miles away, so he projects his guilt onto me! We still have not talked since December 24. I am going to the be the bigger person though and call him only because I don’t want this type of strife in my family. It doesn’t mean I forget what he has done or forget that I know now how he truly feels about me…it simply means I won’t hold a grudge and move on.
I will let you know what happens. Thanks, again.
Looking for truth,
I am worried about your safety. Is it possible for you to tell him you are going away for a while? Perhaps to visit a friend or family member. This will give you time to see how you feel when you aren’t around him.
Another indicator that my spath was poisoning me, which I should have seen, was that he never ate the same foods as I did. I kept a well stocked pantry and fridge. But he insisted that he have his own separate foods: canned peaches, cheerios, boxes of macaroni and cheese. Other than that he ate out of the house.
One year I made an entire thanksgiving dinner complete with organic turkey and gluten-free stuffing and pumpkin pie. It cost me over $100 dollars and 2 days of work. He wouldn’t touch ANY of it.
Without the ability to imagine that anyone would do such a horrible thing, I couldn’t see the VERY OBVIOUS clues right in front of my face.
Now, I CAN imagine and I KNOW what people are capable of. I also know how to spot the spaths because there are always red flags that demonstrate their shallow and selfish natures. So now the OBVIOUS CLUES have MEANING.
Louise,
is there an Alzheimer’s organization in your area? The one in my area has great support groups and the form of dementia doesn’t matter. the issues that came up time and again, were relatives telling another family member what to do or how to do it…when they themselves wouldn’t do anything; and/ or intense denial on the part of some family members. I used to jokingly offer to run over said family members. always got a laugh…but i really hated that those who were struggling to do the right thing for their family member and themselves were also assaulted and abused by the know-it-alls-do-nothings.
Sky – you can come cook for me anytime!
One/joy:
I am sure there is some type of support group in my mom’s area. I’m sure there is one in my area somewhere since I live in a big city. It comforts me to know that the issues that you saw in the support group are the exact same issues I am facing. Denial…my oldest brother is in total denial. He thinks there is nothing wrong with my mom…that it’s just the “devil” and if she would pray and go to church she would get better. Yep, that’s me…trying so much to do the right thing and whatever I can and being bullied by a brother who is doing nothing! UGGHH and double SIGH.
Thanks for your support!
Louise, He’s not only in denial, he’s delusional. It takes people time to ‘get it’, each of us our own time, but i don’t know if he will because he clearly delusional.
my mom’s doctor didn’t want to get it; thought she was within a ‘normal range’. one of the issues in his resistance was her age (she was young), and another was that the test isn’t refined enough to catch early problems. of course he also didn’t *want* to get it. i insisted he send her to a neurologist. wouldn’t leave the office until he made the recommendation. she has a brain full of aneurysms (2 of which required brain surgery), has had several TIAs (small strokes), and has been diagnosed with two different forms of dementia.
it’s a hard road. good support and good care is very important. I have to go back to meetings.