AshleyMadison.com, a dating website for married cheaters, has been hacked.
The website’s slogan is, “Life is short. Have an affair.” Now, the personal details of 37 million members, including nude photos and sexual fantasies, have been compromised.
This is a moral dilemma for me. Of course, hacking a website is criminal. But as far as I’m concerned, all of those cheaters are getting what they deserve.
The hackers, a person or group calling itself the “Impact Team,” has demanded that the website owner, a company called Avid Life Media, take down Ashley Madison (AM), and another hookup site that it owns called Established Men (EM) and Cougar Life.
Here’s the statement from the Impact Team:
AM AND EM MUST SHUT DOWN
IMMEDIATELY PERMANENTLYWe are the Impact Team.
We have taken over all systems in your entire office and production domains, all customer information databases, source code repositories, financial records, emails.
Shutting down AM and EM will cost you, but non-compliance will cost you more:
We will release all customer records, profiles with the customers’ secret sexual fantasies, nude pictures, and conversations and matching credit card transactions, real names and addresses, and employee documents and emails. Avid Life Media will be liable for fraud and extreme harm to millions of users.
Avid Life Media runs Ashley Madison, the internet’s #1 cheating site, for people who are married or in a relationship to have an affair. ALM also runs Established Men, a prostitution/human trafficking website for rich men to pay for sex, as well as cougar life, a dating website for cougars, man crunch, a site for gay dating, swappernet for swingers, and the big and the beautiful, for overweight dating.
Trevor, ALM’s CTO once said, “Protection of personal information” was his biggest “critical success factors” and “I would hate to see our systems hacked and/or the leak of personal information”
Well Trevor, welcome to your worst f*cking nightmare.
According to media reports, Ashley Madison’s customer service is in meltdown as people try to close their accounts, and the company’s plans for going public are toast.
I am cheering.
Online cheating site AshleyMadison hacked, on KrebsOnSecurity.com.
Ashley Madison faces ”˜doomsday scenario’ after hack: Bankers, on CNBC.com.
Ashley Madison customer service in meltdown as site battles hack fallout, on TheGuardian.com
Totally agree with you Donna 🙂 I’m sure these cheating spouses are all spinning their spouses heads now just incase their info is released to the spouse. Very sad that all of these site users (37 million) cheat on their spouses, and this is just one site with 37 million on it, what about all the other cheating sites…sad immoral world we live in now a days.
Hi everyone,
I’m new to the group. I recently found my cheater husband has or had a “profile” with this sick dating site. His name is Scott Ingalls in case anyone happens to get contact from him on “any” dating website, he is a sociopath/narcissist. He has a profile on every disgusting and decent website portraying himself as a “sports official” and divorced, (we haven’t filed yet) to hook another innocent woman. I am so glad this “Ashleigh Madison” porn site has been hacked. I hope all the disgusting men who did “business” get caught. Let justice prevail!
Hi Sharon, Welcome…glad you found your way to Lovefraud.
It’s shocking & over whelming to find out the truth but it’s the best thing for you to have peace in your life. Being married to a sociopath/narcisisst is a nightmare…it’s hell on earth…to divorce a sociopath it’s the bottom of hell. Brace yourself for a fight.
Check out the site Onemomsbattle. com and also their Facebook page. Open a fake email account then a fake Facebook page so you can chat freely on that page without your soon to be ex seeing what you are chatting about.
Also for your protection it would be better for you to close your account on LF under your real name and open one under a fake name or statement…before you do open a fake email account then use that email acct for your LF page viewing. This way your ex can not (hopefully) not hack your original email account.
I will type more right now I don’t have time but I am very happy that you found LF…it’s a wonderful community for support, understanding of the hell you have endured & a great place to vent.
Do a search on this site & on the net for the following:
1) gas lighting abuse
2) No contact rule
3) low contact rule (when children are involved in the marriage)
HUGE HUGS TO YOU TONIGHT 🙂
Hi Sharon, I am so sorry that you first were married to a sociopath/narc & that you found out he was on that cheaters site plus others. It’s so shocking but the fact you caught him & have proof of him being on those sites gives you good reason to move on without him.
My ex h cheated on me while we were planning our wedding…at the time there were clues & I confronted him but he was so masterful at spinning my head (& everyones head) that I bought his bs lies…even though I did not want to even marry him (thats another story). He cheated throughout our marriage looking back everything adds up.
When I finally had proof of his two year affair that was it I had proof & I was DONE….he knew I was done & he manage to manipulate friends to convene me to “give him another chance” & “he was sorry” & “he would never cheat again”..
We went to marriage counseling (which is a total joke) & I even told the counselor every trait of a sociopath when describing him to her without me even knowing what I was describing…and I told her that he would manipulate her…she told me that “he would not manipulate her”…guess what…he manipulated her. This is what sociopaths do in marriage counseling they manipulate the counselor then tell lies about their spouse..it’s all craziness…if you read up on sociopath counselor say never go to counseling with a sociopath because they will turn everything around on you.
I stayed another 7 hellish years. The abuse got worse everyday because he was losing control over me and knew that I could leave him. He continued cheated with that mistress & many many other women but hide it very well.
When I finally crawled out of the marriage I caught him cheating with 3 other women in two different states (maybe 5 women not sure about the 2 others).
My advise to you is to either kick him out or get your own place to leave…follow the no contact rule….or low contact rule if you have young kids.
Prior to leaving him get help from your local abuse center with an “Exit Plan”…google “domestic abuse exit plan”, “Dr phil exit plan”, “national domestic violence hotline exit plan”…and have a plan in place for your safety. Remember the most dangerous time for a woman in a domestic abusive relationship is when she leave her abuser so protect yourself.
My only regret is not filing sooner and also not listening to my gut the first time I met him. You will find peace & calmness once you put some no contact time between you and your husband. The no contact rule is to give you time to clear your mind from all of his mind control he has over you and to calm your nerves so that you can see clearly. Best thing I ever did was divorce me ex h!!
Good books to read:
Donna Anderson Lovefraud (This wonderful sites creators if you go to the top you can click on “book store” to find her books and many others.
Women who love psychopath by sandra brown
Freedom of mind by Steven Hassan
Gift of fear by Gavin debecker
Do a search on this site and the net:
Sociopath smear campaign
see site: Psychopathyawareness.wordpress. com
Know that Donna Anderson of Lovefraud also is a life coach you can talk with her on the phone just go up to the top “contact” red tab to learn more. I have not used this service but I imagine that she is excellent at guiding you based on her books & this wonderful site.
PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE…WE HEAR YOU!!! WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!! KEEP Reach out for support with your local domestic abuse center and bring your friends/family to Lovefraud so they understand what you have endured.
Hug to you 🙂
Sharon
How did you find your husband’s name? I need assistance too. Can you please help me.
Good Morning Jan
I have not been on this site for a long time and saw your post. This has been an incredible resource for me and I think you will find that too.
Since I am absolutely certain my ex was also a client of Ashley Madison, can you please help me to find his name. I would really appreciate this so that I have confirmation of something I was pretty certain.
I wish you the very very best in your upcoming divorce and you will be in my prayers for guidance, strength and perservance. It has been a very long journey for me. Lots of people here will be able to help you.
Hi Peaceful, I wish I could help you find your husbands name on that site but I have no clue how to do that. Maybe try a good search with your husband’s name and that site names together?
But what you should know is if your gut is telling you your husband is cheating then most likely he is…our gut knows the truth we just choose to listen to their manipulative words. Google “Oprah Gavin Debecker you tube” to watch their interview about listening to your gut also Gavin Debeckers book is Gift of Fear worth your time to read & your local library might have it.
Check his husbands cell phone records & look under his car floor mats as this is what advise PI give to someone that thinks their spouse is cheating. You can also put a soft ware in your computer to see what sites he is going to and check the computers history at the top of the search site you use.
I am sorry that you are in emotional pain right now, it’s not an easy place to be but the truth is the best & if your husband is cheating it is best to know because you do deserve better.
Proof of the excuses.
NO big deal. Everyone is doing it. You (victims) are over-reacting.
Yep…. we are objecting to all kinds of abuse, unfaithfulness/LIES/FRAUD just one level of abuse.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Fabulous.
That site is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
This time I am on the side of the hackers.
Our society needs to get back to basic morals and values.
Thanks for the post Donna!
Stronginthecity
Ok. I love this site—and education about SP is helping so many. But, our moral superiority aside, this article and the comments are dangerously shortsighted.
1. Not everyone who is registered on that site is a cheater. I have a friend who opened a profile in order to CATCH her cheating husband (which she did). What about a journalist who opened a profile to do research and write an article (likely a negative one)? Or the counselor who accessed the site in an attempt to understand why his patient couldn’t stop? Or the mother whose teenage son stole her credit card for just one night of fun? These hackers are NOT going to take into consideration any of that. What if YOUR innocent name is published? Or your Mom’s?
2. The spouses and children of these cheaters do not need to be publically (let’s be honest here, potentially INTERNATIONALLY) humiliated. Bad enough that your parent/spouse cheated, but that every one of your teachers, friends, neighbors, church members, YOUR boss and co-workers (need I go on) is aware of it too? Does anyone else worry about public humiliation, shame, suicide temptation, etc. for these families?
When did we on this site become so very numb, yet focused on our own pain and moral superiority, that we lost our empathy for the true victims of these hackers? Innocent people are going to be destroyed so that the hackers can feel morally superior—so they can WIN! I hate to break it to everyone, but these hackers are behaving like the very enemy this site has been fighting against.
I would ask Donna to remove this article and replace it with something that reflects our concerns about what will occur to these victims. IF the hackers make good on their threats, then I would be embarrassed to have our pure lack of sympathy quoted “My New Heroes,” against national articles detailing the devastation of what will be so many, many innocent lives. There is no way to humiliate the true cheaters without destroying the innocents too.
CassieJWJ
CassieJWJ – thank you for your thoughts. Yes, there may be a few people on AshleyMadison for the reasons you describe. However, my guess is that 99% of the members are cheating. They are breaking their marriage vows and being deceitful and deceptive with their spouses. I still have no sympathy for them.
About the embarrassment of their families and friends – well, the cheaters should have thought about that before signing up for Ashley Madison.
The cheater SPs won’t care. So many of us have found ourselves on the wrong end, with ignorant judges ( and even family members and coworkers) making conclusions that further hurt us and our families. Now I guess these hackers on the judges. I sincerely hope you’re right, Donna. You have more experience in this area than I do, so is very likely that you are right. But I still find our lack of empathy for the innocent victims to be haunting. If we can be dismissive of the innocents that just might pay for these cheaters’ sins, then I don’t know why we would ever expect the world to have any sympathy for us, our cause, or our own personal losses from SP. By your logic, I guess we all deserve the pain that our SP’s inflicted on us as well.
CassieJWJ2015 – The innocents, in this case, are probably the people who are unknowingly married to the cheaters, or who are in denial about the cheating. Although it will be painful, I think they should know the truth of what their spouse is doing.
Although there are always exceptions, many sociopaths do, indeed, care about exposure. In fact, it’s about the only thing they care about – they don’t want someone ruining their game by shining a light on their deceitful behavior.
And exposure protects other innocent victims. If a sociopath is cheating on Ashley Madison – where everyone is cheating – he/she is probably also cheating with unknowing others. Maybe those innocents will have a chance to get out.
Anyway, Ashley Madison website is still online, so I guess they aren’t too concerned.
The Hackers released the info! Cheaters beware you will be exposed if not by your spouse then by hackers. Even govt officials have been caught up in this “moral Hacking” (the term the hackers are using).
“Thousands of clients using the affair-oriented Ashley Madison website listed email addresses registered to the White House, top federal agencies and military branches, a data dump by hackers revealed.
The detailed data, released Tuesday, will likely put Washington, D.C., on edge. The nation’s capital reportedly has the highest rate of membership for the site of any city.
Indeed, more than 15,000 of the email addresses used to register accounts were hosted on government and military servers.
Buried in the list are emails that could be tied to multiple administration agencies, including the State Department and Department of Homeland Security, as well as several tied to both the House and Senate.
For a month, hackers using the name “Impact Team” have been holding hostage the dating profiles of those who registered on the site. The group threatened to publicly out the potential adulterers if the site’s owner, Avid Life Media, didn’t take down Ashley Madison, which uses the tagline, “Life is short. Have an affair.”
Security researchers said on Wednesday that they believe the data released following the hack at Ashley Madison is authentic.
“This dump appears to be legit,” said David Kennedy, CEO of information security company TrustedSec, which monitors cyber attacks, in a blog post. “Very, very legit.”
Security journalist Brian Krebs reported several of the site’s users told him their real information is in the data dump.
The leaked database is staggering, according to researchers, and larger than expected at 37 million records, or nearly 10 gigabytes compressed.
“For folks that may not know, that is massive,” Kennedy said. “Huge.”
“It’s full account information,” said Robert Graham, CEO of Errata Security, in a blog post. That includes full names, emails, phone numbers, addresses and passwords.
“It also includes dating information, like height, weight, and so forth,” Graham added. “It appears to contain addresses, as well as GPS coordinates. I suspect that many people created fake accounts, but with an app that reported their real GPS coordinates.”
Other tech news outlets, such as CSO, have discovered British government officials, United Nations employees and Vatican staff among the millions of people in the leaked database.
However, the site reportedly did not check the validity of email addresses, and it’s likely that many of the government email accounts were faked. For instance, several emails were registered at “whitehouse.gov,” whereas White House officials use “eop.gov” for email communications.
The hackers have indicated their mission is to publicly shame the company, while also teaching its users a lesson.
“Find yourself in here?” they said in a statement posted with the data dump. “It was [Avid Life Media] that failed you and lied to you. Prosecute them and claim damages. Then move on with your life. Learn your lesson and make amends. Embarrassing now, but you’ll get over it.””
Let the fall out begin….cheaters being exposed to their wife, family, friends & the world. This guy Josh Duggar should be exposed to the world to keep women & children safe from him & his sex addiction: This is from Radar Online”
“Josh Duggar’s sins didn’t end with his sexual assaults on his sisters. The 19 Kids & Counting star admitted on Thursday that he had been unfaithful to wife Anna and kept a paid account on affair website Ashley Madison.
“I have been the biggest hypocrite ever,” Duggar said in a bombshell statement posted on the family website. “While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.”
“I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him,” he continued.
Referencing his confession earlier this year that he had fondled his siblings as a teen, he said, “I brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions that happened when I was 14-15 years old, and now I have re-broken their trust. The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country, I was hiding my own personal failings.”
“As I am learning the hard way, we have the freedom to choose to our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. I deeply regret all hurt I have caused so many by being such a bad example.”
“I humbly ask for your forgiveness,” he begged. “Please pray for my precious wife Anna and our family during this time.”
In their own statement, parents Jim Bob and Michelle said, “When we learned of this late last night our hearts were broken. As we continue to place our trust in God we ask for your prayers for Josh, Anna, our grandchildren and our entire family.”
As Radar reported, Duggar maintained a paid account on Ashley Madison, a website for people seeking affairs. His interests included “conventional sex” and “sex toys.” The information was publicly released in a data dump by hackers earlier this week.”
After a year of my ex husbands facade slipping and his behaviour becoming more and more irractic i finally found the strength to kick him out of the house 5 months ago. i found out 1 week ago after my ex husband was arrested, that he had been having a ‘consensual’ (if that is even possible) relationship with a 12 yr old girl. It has started whilst he had been living in my house. Over the last year I fell for his lies when I found he had registered for a dating site and also found 2 condoms in his car (of course they were his friends) but NEVER in my whole life did I expect him to do this. I still cannot believe it. Although I heard him admit it to my father over the phone from the police station before crying out don’t abandon me! Being cheated on is awful but I can not get my head around being desparate enough for sex and attention that my sick ex husband would sleep with a 12 yr old girl. He has a 13 yr old daughter.
Suvivingthis, I can’t even imagine your shock that you experienced learning this horrific news. It’s hard enough to finally get the proof that a spouse is cheating but this is beyond that shock level. Hugs to you for having to endure this man & his hell that he created.
There is no doubt everyone has lived a nightmare with regards to being connected to a sociopath, whether you are a co worker, neighbor, sibling, spouse, his children…but your post reminds us that there are many levels of evilness to a sociopath destruction. Your ex husbands evilness is one of the highest on the list of evil acts. I can’t even wrap my mind around someone’s thinking like his.
I have read that 70-90% of sex addicts are sociopath/psychopaths
& that 90% of child molesters are sociopaths/psychopaths and this is the very reason they can not be rehabilitated to stop this kind of abuse.
Two things that come to mind when I read your post:
1) I was happy to hear you divorced this evil sociopath!!
2) He was caught by the police for his evil acts against a young child and hopefully will spend a long time in jail where he will be the outcast and get his fair share of abuse by the other inmates rightful so.
With the “Subway” guy Fogle’s (?) arrest in the news it has high lighted the tornado destruction these guys leave behind. I have been thinking about his poor wife and what she is going through since this broke the news. I am glad though that she knows the truth about her husbands double life, now she is free, her children are free and so are the children he molested.
For your ex (or his lawyers) to think that this was “consensual” is sick and twisted….he is a child molester plain and simple. Hopefully he will receive a long long sentence.
Are you going after full custody of your children now?? Check out the site Onemomsbattle. com, her two books & also their Facebook page is a wonderful support sight in addition to Lovefraud. Open a fake email account then a fake Facebook page so that you can freely chat without your friends/family or his seeing what you are chatting about.
I am glad that you found the strength to post your story here tonight…not an easy thing to do but is one of the best steps in the healing recovery.
Wishing you & your children all the best 🙂
Take care
Survivingthis – what a nightmare. What a horrible betrayal to you, and what a devastation to the girl. I hope he goes to prison for a long time.
I have not posted on a few months because I was so “busy ” with me new happy,, sane life after divorcing my cheating, narcissistic husband of over 20 years. I was so happy to see what happened to the Ashley Madison website. Before I was discarded I discovered my ex had a profile and account on that sickening website. I still remember when I confronted him , I was told that the computer made this account for him. Lies and lies. And yes indeed he met women in person. His profile stated ” 43 year old athletic man looking for affairs, anything goes.” It made me sick in my stomach when I was read this. Here he was with me in marriage counseling , lying to the therapist and meeting women/whores on Ashley Madison. Thank God he discarded me. I would still be disrespected , abused, lied to, betrayed and made feel worthless. I feel for all these women here. Discovering the truth about someone you share your life with, your children , you share your dreams and plans for the future, is like a death. Worse because you dont the closure , the explanation. For me it was the biggest shock, the most difficult thing in my life. Like I said many times , the only way I kept going was to cut of all contact. My silence to him was my therapy, my cure, my strengthening. Looking back I came a long way. I can now laugh about what a sick, perverted person he is. It’s something that does not get to me anymore. He cannot push buttons , he cannot get a reaction.
And he can date all the women he wants to date. Even the ones on Ashley Madison. I sure hope that they will make his sickening photos public. What a nice police officer he is. Such good morales and family values. All lies.
The fallout continues…this is an interesting twist….it’s funny how all these men paid money each month to be on this site yet “never followed through”…. I also wonder who this prosecutor can just go back to a job that requires you to have integrity, morals & high standard ethics.
This was on the Dailymail.
“The prosecutor who gained national attention as a key player in the unsuccessful murder prosecution of Casey Anthony said Sunday that he committed no crime and never followed through with an affair on the cheating website, Ashley Madison.
Jeff Ashton, the State Attorney for Orange and Osceola counties in central Florida, said he wouldn’t resign his post.
Ashton choked up several times during a news conference while publicly apologizing to his wife, their three children and his four adult children from previous marriages.
He wouldn’t say what impact the revelation has had on his marriage.
Prosecutor: Jeff Ashton, State Attorney for Orange and Osceola counties in central Florida, answers questions at a news conference, Sunday, after reports claimed he was a paid member of Ashley Madison. com
Ashton and his wife Rita have three children together, and Ashton also has four adult children from previous marriages
On Saturday, website East Orlando Post published quotes it said came from Ashton’s profile.
Ashton purportedly wrote: ‘I am looking for someone who has fantasies we can act out.
‘Who know what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it.
‘You must be discrete, not looking to change my situation just want to get excited again.’
His profile also allegedly said ‘a big toy collection is a plus.’
Speaking out: Ashton said Sunday that he signed up for the site because he was curious but he did not have an affair. He asked for forgiveness for his bad judgment
‘While I indulged my curiosity about the site, it never went beyond that,’ Ashton said.
‘They were incredibly stupid choices. I ask the public’s forgiveness for my shortcomings but those shortcomings have had absolutely no impact on the performance of my official duties.’
Ashton said he signed up for the site two years ago because he was curious. But when asked why he never used it to cheat, he said he just couldn’t go through with it.
He used his personal lap top on an office wireless network that is available to anyone who is at the courthouse complex in downtown Orlando, Ashton said.
Ashton’s Office of the State Attorney website biography says: ‘He has four adult children from previous marriages, and he and his wife Rita have three younger children.’
Josh Duggar paid almost $1,000 for Ashley Madison account ‘in search of oral sex, one-night stands, experimenting with sex toys and more during his marriage’
How many sins and counting?: Josh Duggar’s secret Facebook…
Retired Liberal MP Patrick Secker is latest name to be…
The veteran prosecutor was at the center of the case against Anthony, who was acquitted in 2011 of the murder of her 2-year-old daughter three years earlier.
Back in 1987, Ashton was the first prosecutor in the nation to introduce DNA-based evidence in a case. Ashton first joined the State Attorney’s Office in 1981.
Ashton was quoted by WFTV as saying: ‘I think I’ve humiliated myself enough for one weekend.
‘Tomorrow morning I go back to work.’
Owner of cheating website Ashley Madison confirms data leak
Case: The veteran prosecutor (left in 2011) was at the center of the case against Casey Anthony (right in 2009), who was acquitted in 2011 of the murder of her 2-year-old daughter three years earlier
Trouble? Ashton wouldn’t say what impact the revelation has had on his marriage
Trouble? Ashton wouldn’t say what impact the revelation has had on his marriage
The prosecutor isn’t the only Florida elected official who has had to acknowledge using Ashley Madison.
Last Friday, state Rep. Ritch Workman said in a statement that he had clicked on the site three years ago when he was single.
Workman said he never met anyone from the site.
Ashton called the news conference after the East Orlando Post online newsletter revealed that he had been on Ashley Madison.
Ashton said he regretted giving ammunition to those who oppose him and said he hopes his three decades of service outweighs his transgression.
‘Today, I’m not very proud of myself,’ Ashton said.
‘The post may have been political motivated but they had every right to do it. I did something incredibly stupid and I should have been called on it.’