A paper recently published in the Journal of Zoology says that great white sharks hunt in a highly focused fashion, just like serial killers.
According to a report on ScienceDaily.com, the researchers used geographic profiling—a criminal investigation tool used to find serial killers based on the locations of their crimes—to examine how the hunting patters of great white sharks off the coast of South Africa.
Sharks establish well-defined hunting bases in strategic locations. The researchers noticed that smaller sharks searched further, and had less success, than larger sharks. They surmised that great white sharks refined their search patterns with experience, and concentrated their hunting in locations with the highest probability of success.
For more information on the study, read Geographic profiling works: Great white sharks’ hunting skills as refined as Jack the Ripper’s.
‘If you meet your man in a bar that is were he will always be’ BINGO same goes for other undesirable meeting places such as the internet and dating sites….I have a crush on a guy that works at Petsmart – I have been in there so much, have bought enuff dogfood to last 6 months, he is always so friendly and smiles this big smile, even asked my name and shook my hand – but maybe he is just freindly to everybody – I am afraid to ask him if he is gay, I am pretty sure he is, my gaydar goes off, but what if I am wrong? Or maybe I am afraid of rejection ….oh my, think I will become a dolphin….
Henry:
When I meet a man who I am really attracted to, I will say something like, “I love your suit, does your wife dress you?”
He will either say “Yes, my wife dresses me” or he will say “No. I am not married”.
Maybe you could ask the guy at PetSmart a non-threatening question that will pin him down regarding his status????
For example, if you go in there on a weekend, and he is working, say something like, “You are stuck working on the weekend? I bet your wife hates that.” He will either answer about his wife, or he will say, “No, I am not married”, or he will say, “I’m not straight, I’m gay”, which would be music to your ears. 🙂
Just a suggestion.
P.S. Have you looked for a wedding ring? But, a lot of men do NOT wear wedding rings, so you cannot really go by that. I operate on the assumption that all men are married, engaged, or living with someone unless they tell me otherwise.
Hope someone starts a blog in the media section about the S. Carolina governor. The cheapness of this millionaire, his sense of entitlement, the lies, the inability to maintain good behavior, the arrogance about what he thought he could get away with….all sounds too familiar. Just wondering….seems like at least a Narc. and I would GUESS this is not the only woman in his past.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/28/opinion/28dowd.html
Also, of course I’m cynical now, but I think there was no 8 year friendship, I think there was an 8 year flirtation. The p/s/n I was involved with kept testing the waters for 40 years until he caught me at a weak time. And I don’t buy that he is/was “in love”, no matter what he told anyone. I realize it is unfair to speculate because we don’t know the details, but most of what I heard is a whole lot of red flags. I think he just hadn’t reach the devalue stage yet. But again, unfair to say!
Henry..your comments always make me laugh..THANK YOU!! I have been trying to get in to the place of acceptance which I have drifted in and out of it seems MANY times….I did meet my S at a bar..it was kareoke night..and like a dumbass..I believed him when he told me it was the first time he had been there….for me it was the truth..but anyhoot…the flags were flailin and I STILL set sail..all I can do is take oewn my responsibilty for allowing things to go the way they did..Im gald I kicked him to the curb finally..I just fel soory that we have a 3 yr old in thr midst of it….dont get me wrong..I love him to death..I just would never wish this on a child or anyone for that matter….
EndthePain:
“the flags were flailin and I STILL set sail.”
I love it!!!! Me too.
I had my yachting cap on, and I was SURE that I was on an unsinkable ship.
Little did I know that I was going to hit an iceburg, and everything would turn TITANIC on me!!! 🙁
But, my heart will go on. 🙂 (without him)
Dear Katya and Dreamer
I have walked in both of your shoes. It is not enough to go to authorities and tell your stories of criminality. I did that and was more or less told i was ‘mad’. Let me tell you i was ‘mad’ because nobody listened to me. If the authorities had of chosen to look years ago, i told them where to find the evidence. The were not interested unless i could provide evidence. The evidence had unfortunately been lost. Surprisinly after a few years the lost information was found, which has now been forwarded to authorities.
I was not concerned about my part in any of the activities as i was unknowingly involved. I needed to ease my conscience. I believed any repurcussions of my disclosure were justified on my part. At least i could sleep at night.
Two months on and still no answer from authorities. Im not sure they even care. I am talking a minimum half a million dollars worth of fraud, an apparent murder i was informed about and much, much more.
You must have evidence to be taken even slightly seriously by the authorities. You then must take into account revenge by the PS or N. You must be prepared to accept any consequences from your own involvement (knowlingly or not).
My recovery has ben 4 years and my high values have returned (the values that the PS & N slowly managed to subtly deconstruct in me) . I am prepared for the above knowing i have done the right thing. I am prepared to take responsibilities for my actions.
Think carefully and make sure you have evidence.
Best wishes in your choices.
Henry and Tilly thanyou for you kind words of reassurance last month.
Rosa,
Reading your posts in this thread really cheered me up, thanks!
I squeezed out a couple of tears earlier today and was feeling like no matter what I do I just can’t get away from the thoughts of the S. I am just soooo tired of thinking about him but every time I’m not engaged with something those thoughts come back. It’s exhausting because I am in ‘go! go! go!’ mode all the time to escape thinking of him, and then when I try to relax the thoughts come back and I spend my energy attempting to fight them off. No wonder I’m so drained!
I’m also having a hard time with the ‘being discarded’ part today. I am happy to be NC, but part of me can’t believe he hasn’t tried to contact me. It will be two months NC on Saturday and this is the longest we have ever not spoken since we met over 10 years ago. I try to ignore it, but sometimes that little voice saying ‘How could he just drop me after everything we’ve been through and seemingly not give it a second thought?’ comes back to haunt me.
Anyway, feeling better after reading what everyone has shared. All the days can’t be good days I suppose.
Done:
I am so happy if I was able to cheer you up, even if it was just a little bit.
Tilly & I need our comedy fix, or we will go crazy! 🙂 🙂
P.S. Without laughter, I would be popping my Grandma’s Lexapro like M&M’s.
Done, Actually I’m impressed that after 2 months of NC you are so far along! You are moving much faster than I did. So congratulate yourself. It will get better. It has been just over two years of no face to face contact, and about 1 and a half since we last talked. You know, they just change the channel. Their emotions are just an inch deep. We hurt and grieve the loss of the love that was REAL on our end, because we are GOOD people, capable of truly loving. He can drop you “just like that” not because of anything you did, but because of who HE is. It is no reflection on you.
Good for you for keeping busy. Yes, I know that exhaustion. And you are drained because you have been emotionally raped. It will get better. You are doing all the right things.
Hugs!