Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.
It’s Christmas Eve and I am full of gratitude today. I witnessed evil first hand as my father, a sociopath, murdered at least four (4) people and destroyed countless lives. It almost doesn’t make sense that I could be so happy and peaceful today, but it is a fact for me. I do not ask or need others to believe what I believe; I only share my personal experience.
It is Faith that changed my life. I came to a place, a way of thinking, that was just too painful to live with so I made a decision to try something different. I prayed for help, for truth and understanding.
It took me years of physical illnesses and drug and alcohol abuse to finally believe that maybe there was a power greater than me after all, so I asked for help. I was told that Faith was the opposite of Fear and I was tired of living in fear so I tried it. I just didn’t see a down side to trying this Faith thing. I asked for protection and I received it. Now I know that Fear and Faith cannot be practiced at the same time. These are miracles that happened in my life.
It wasn’t easy. My father was my original higher power and he taught me that faith in God was a weakness. Now I know different. It takes great courage to have faith when faced with circumstances that come from being the victim of a sociopath. All I could see was evil.
Today I am married with a beautiful thirteen year old daughter. My family is happy, peaceful, loving and caring. We are involved in community service, feed the homeless and give back as a family.
It all began to change with a simple prayer that had a glimmer of hope. The rest came from a power greater than me. I am grateful for all of you that have commented on my story and thank you for helping me. That is what lovefraud does”¦it provides a place where people can share their experiences and help each other heal. It turns Fear into Faith. Now that’s a Miracle. Peace to all of you and Merry Christmas.
Travis, I can so identify with your post about faith and how it has changed your life. Your blogs have been very inspirational to me. I’m so happy you have found peace and happiness after the experience with your P Father. Merry Christmas!
Thanks, Travis!
So well put! It is amazing what faith can do.
I just happened upon this site last night while looking up some other information. Just thought I would vent a little if none of you mind…
I ran into a relationship about nine years ago and it is still nawing at my mind even though the person that attack me has died since then.
I met her at an Applebee’s Bar and Grill she was a waitress. Our eyes made contact and from that point on there was a relationship. She had two children a boy 5 and a girl 3.
She ended up being a monster from hell…Every month for four months she kept coming up with different strange and odd behaviors and actions, from telling me she had herpes to telling me she had thoughts of molesting her little boy.
Her sister had mentioned to me that she had spent time in a mental facility for depression, but for gods sake this girl was a complete and total mess up. I finally got away from this girl and did not catch anything Thank God. She attempted to have me caught up in a common law marriage scheme that the judge saw threw as well as my lawyer. It wound up costing me around $1200.00 for the lawyer but it was well worth it.
I found out just about 9 months ago from her sister, which I think may be sane, that she died of a heart attack. Now, I don’t know if this is true or not and this sound God awful but I almost wish she has past own. At least she would not be doing to some one else what she did to me. She might have killed someone before it was over with if this had not happened to her….( I am sorry to say…..).
And she did a great deal more than what I am writing about this is just the highlights. I sometimes wonder if I am some kind of magnet for these types of people or what I consider myself a very intelligent well rounded individual, I just don’t understand it…I haven’t been in a relationship since then…
They say men do this more than women and that may be true but, women can be sociopaths too. And don’t get me wrong I think there are a lot of beautiful and gifted women out there, but this girl was not one of them.
Thanks for reading and be careful out there!!!!!!!
Sincerely,
Jim
Welcome Jim and thanks for sharing your story with us. Yes it is stated that most are men but there is also female out there that are just as dangerous that can and may do us all great harm and grief. So again welcome and thanks for sharing! 🙂
Welcome to the club, Jim. Sorry you are a member (to quote another member here). Yes, women can most definitely be psychopaths, and there are many men here to prove it who have been involved with these women. Usually, when people come here, they start reading. Things start making sense and adding up. I hope this site can help you put 2 and 2 together and realize what happened to you. I really feel sorry for this woman’s poor children that she wanted to molest.
Jim: I’d go on line to the newspaper in her home town and put her name in the obituary section … just to see if sister dear is telling you the truth! At least you would find out the truth if she has indeed past on … cause if not, they can be like gum on your shoes … can’t quit get the stuff off.
Peace.
I hope this doesn’t double post, I think I lost my original. Did any of you see or read about the Christmas massacre that happened out in California (I think that’s where it was)? It was the story of the guy who went to his ex in=laws’ house on a killing spree, then killed himself. Any way, the picture of this guy just freaked me out. He was almost a dead ringer of my ex s. What scared me the most, was this guy’s eyes. Once I looked at them I couldn’t stop looking. The sheer evil, emptiness, & coldness just jumped out at me. I thought, OMG, this is how my ex’s eyes looked, when I actually saw him for what he truly was. How the f**k could I have missed that?! If the eyes are the windows to the soul, how can they (s,’s), mask them so well? I’ve only seen one other set of eyes besides that picture & my ex.’s that chilled me to my soul, & those belonged to Charles Manson. My God, how could we not all have seen that? It’s unfathomable to me, how a “human being” can hide something like this from us, & the rest of the world. Did any of you see this guy’s picture, & get the same feeling, or am I nuts?
Dear Stiles,
No, you are not “nuts”—-THAT LOOK has been described many times and it is like looking into the “eyes of satan” himself. I have seen it only on Charlie Manson (that famous photo of him looking directly at the camera) and my P-father’s face, my P-son’s face, and my mother’s face when I caught her in a lie (I had actually seen it other times on her face even when I was a kid when she was rabidly mad, but for some reason she couldn’t respond until later because of some situation or other).
I just call it THE LOOK. The Manson look, as that famous picture does seem to be a great example that many people have seen, seems to be a great pictoral example of THE LOOK.
What “clued me in” on my P-son was the last time I visited him in prison, my adopted son and I were there with him and he was frustrated because he was giving me some speech about “Mom, what would Jesus do?” and I wasn’t falling for it and INSTANTLY he got THE LOOK, and started bragging about how horrible his crime (murder) was and h ow much worse it was than even the cops knew—and I guess he dropped his mask out of frustration and I LOOKED DIRECTLY INTO THE EYES OF SATAN, and then, just as SUDDENLY as the mask had dropped, it came up again, the look was gone and he was saying “But mom, what would Jesus do?” I felt like I had had a bucket of ice water poured over my head, and so did my adopted son. I had seen THE LOOK before on his face, but never such a SUDDEN change from one to the other, from THE LOOK to the benign and sweet, pleading face. Sheesh, it was SCARY, and I almost felt if there had not been a glass between us he might have tried to come at me. He was really frustrated at not getting what he wanted with the pleading and “rational” (he thought) con he was trying to pull. I wasn’t letting him control my every thought. I wasn’t buying it.
I sometimes think that I actually LOOKED INTO HIS SOUL, and saw the REAL him through those eyes. And believe me, it was scary—it was like looking into my P-bio father’s face when he was enraged, but he also kept that look most of the time, my son doesn’t keep that look all the time or even most of the time, only when enraged. Ditto with my mother.
Other psychopaths I have known, but not so well, I have not seen that LOOK on their faces, but maybe I just happened to miss it because I wasn’t there when they were exhibiting it. I know they can “cover it” when they really want to. Manson gloried in his LOOK and his EVIL, as my son does when it suits him.
The Trojan HOrse P seemed to have more of an evil SMIRK, but not “THE LOOK” so much, just A LOOK of “I got you” smirk, but again, I didn’t know him as well as my P-bio father, and my P son.
I sometimes think that “normal” people can’t get AS mad, or AS enraged as they do, and that look is indicative of that RAGE and ANGER that is above all “normal” levels. If that makes any sense. My sons say I have a “mad” look that will melt stone when they were “bad” in church or any other time that I couldn’t “discuss” their behavior immediately, and they knew it meant “quiet down NOW.” they tell me however it is not anything like the LOOK of my P-son’s when he is frustrated or enraged. Gosh, I HOPE not! LOL
Mirror Mirror on the wall who’s the farest of them all?
I have to agree the look at the time was proof-pozitive that there was no escape form the deapths of their depravity , no limits as far as what could happen next!
And then the next day it was like it never happened ! ??
Scary- Santa from HELL , HO ,…HO , …. HO
LOVE JJ
I was not with my S long enough to see “the look” but I did see a few fake tears and fake suicidal posturing. I also saw a picture he had posted of himself a few days after our break up. He had a totally vacant stare like I’d never seen before. He may have been messed up on painkillers he took for his fake disability.