Finally, feeling the joy of Christmas

On this Christmas Day, I am filled with joy, happiness and love. It has nothing to do with Santa Claus being good to me, or the gifts I offered to my husband and family—after all, there is a recession going on, and it has affected us. Rather, I am filled with joy, happiness and love because now, after the sociopath, life is good. In fact, life has never been better.

This is a significant, even miraculous, change for me. In the years before I met my sociopathic ex—from age 20 to 40—I didn’t feel joy, happiness or love. Instead, I was mostly numb. If anything broke through the wall of numbness, it was longing.

Then the sociopath arrived, and promised me what I so desperately wanted—an end to my longing. He said he’d love me forever. He said that once his business plans succeeded—with my financial help, of course—we’d live in “the lap of luxury.” He promised that my dreams would come true, and I believed him.

We all know how that goes.

The magnitude of his betrayal was staggering. I coped as best I could with the legal and financial consequences, but emotionally, all I could do was collapse. It was painful. It was ugly. But as I started to come through my shattered circumstances, I found that what was also shattered was the numbness. And in its place, I felt the beginnings of joy, happiness and love. I felt the spark of life.

As I read the comments on Lovefraud, I see many of you also finding that spark of life. Many of you, progressing in your healing, are rediscovering what you had lost or forgotten, making you vulnerable to the sociopath. You are rediscovering your own inner light.

On this Christmas Day, I am filled with gratitude to all of you who are building the community of healing that Lovefraud has become. It is working. We are recovering. Although we are all at different stages of our journey, I promise you, it is a journey towards joy, happiness and love.

Merry Christmas.

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70 Comments on "Finally, feeling the joy of Christmas"

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Dear Stiles,

Sometimes I think He gives us ALL we can handle, but not more. It is amazing how much, when we look back, how much we DID handle!

I didn’t FEEL strong, and I always said I was “faking” being strong. My son D said “NO, you ARE strong!” I still don’t feel strong, but I guess I actually must be. I think from reading the stories here and what people have been through, my story is far from the “worst” on this site by a long ways, and I think in the end WE ARE ALL STRONGER than we give ourselves credit for.

I also realize that “courage” is being scared chitless, and still doing what has to be done. Or as John wayne said “saddling up and riding out anyway.”

I was raised with a lot of religion (catholic) and then became very “spiritual” in my thirties, studying buddhism, shamanism, the hindu faith. I loved God in all of God’s forms – I even met regularly with a spiritual counselor to help me connect better with the spiritual plane. I have to admit that one of the biggest losses that has occured as a result of (or alongside of) my relationship with the S, has been a shaking of my faith. I want to believe that God put this person in my life for some higher purpose – but the relationship with him came with so much pain. It felt like my life became a series of body blows – each day with new horrendous abuses and betrayals.

I believe that I will reconnect with God as a relationship with God has always been part of my life. But I have to admit that my faith has been shaken. Sometimes I feel like not only was I abused, betrayed, and abandoned by my ex S, but that I was also abused, betrayed, and abandoned, by God as well. For allowing such evil into my life, and subjecting me to so much pain.

Healing Heart: Are you channeling me? (lol) I might have written what you wrote, but my religious start was fundamentalist Christian.

I think we are supposed to learn something from this.

I know that the P I was involved with was “deeply spiritual.” That was part of his mask. But he did know how to move energy — meditate, work out, and manipulate people with an energetic attack that people interpreted as “spiritual.”

Perhaps we are meant to go through this experience to learn to distinguish.

The energy in the fuel tank can take the school bus to school or become a bomb. If we’re learning from this, we can start to recognize when the bomb is disguised as a school bus, if you follow my drift.

Healing Heart: God put the anti-social personalities in our life to strengthen our faith in him (God).

God never fails us … but humans could/will/can.

God never gives us lessons that we can’t handle. It is up to each of us to put our faith in God… to remember that no matter how horrific it seems in human terms what happened to us … it’s our spiritual being that is being tested … to remind us that we are children of God’s … our true spiritual selves … not to buy into the human existence. We are visiting this Earth experiencing the human condition … in human form … we are NOT of this Earth. Our EXs believe and buy into they are of this Earth … they are going for the gusto they can grab down on Earth and think their is no consequences to their actions. But God has written that there is consequences to your actions … wait until their eyes are opened! We only visit for how long our lives are … then are earthly experiences are over … then what? (LOL) … our spirits go on to the next level … that is what is not known to us … but we have faith in our God.


Beverly: If you read this site today, this is for you.

God Bless

Healing Prayers

In the stillness of Your presence, God,
I feel Your healing life flowing through me now,
bringing peace to my mind and energy to my body.

Enfolded in Your powerful healing love, God,
I experience health and wholeness in mind, body, and emotions.

Thank You, God, for Your healing life that surges
throughout every cell of my entire being,
strengthening me and restoring me to wholeness.

To You, dear God, I release any concern about my health.

I trust Your healing love and Your life-giving presence
to renew me.

Dear God, I am open and receptive to Your healing power.

Your light and life energize every cell of my being, and
I am grateful.

Healing Affirmations

With my heart open to God’s renewing love,
I accept my healing now.

I am healthy and strong because I am one
with God’s healing, revitalizing presence.

I am created in the image of God,
blessed with strength and wholeness.

The power of God sustains and blesses me with perfect health.

I have instant access to God’s healing power within.
I am whole and well in mind, body, and spirit.


Thank you, Rune, Wini, everybody. God speaks to me through you. For the first time in almost a year, I am in communication with God. Thank you for speaking God’s truth. 🙂

The prayers and affirmations Wini has given us are very powerful. No matter what religion you practice, these words and images are powerful. Even if you’ve given up on “God” as you knew him/her, you can speak these words and invoke the healing energy of the Universe.

If you speak them out loud, they carry even further — they can get past your disbelieving small “mind” and be heard in every cell in your body.

Thank you Wini.

My faith in God has been strengthened & affirmed through my vindication from the unprecedented attack (mentally & physically) that the sociopath in my life undertook to totally destroy me. I continue to heal with the Lord’s written words & his guidance. I’ve seen how he’s worked through others to help my children & how events occurred that could only be described as miracles. Throughout, He gave me the strength to carry on & not be crippled by anxiety, stress, & fear for the sake of my son & daughter.

After two and a half years of custody battle including 4 1/2 Gaurdian custody recommendation reports (most of which were skewed against me by her lying, manipulating & unrelenting false accusations), two full Psychological custody evaluations including all of the testing & session work that is incorporated into those, numerous meetings with my attorney, immeasurable anxiety, & severe stress, & two custody court trials….

The Lord allowed me to maintain full custody, residency, & legal decision making for my two children, who I love with all my being. Praise God!!!

My ordeal with the sociopath who was so premeditating & calculating in entering my life bent on destruction won’t be over for many years, as I have to deal with her concerning my son & daughter. I can however, rest in the Lord & keep trusting in him & going forward. I can say to others that protection from & containment of a sociopath not to mention wonderful healing & peace is available just by simply asking God & keeping faith in him. You don’t have to worry about time or duration of having to deal with a sociopath either if your forced to have to deal with one. God never sleeps. He’ll always be there for you. Believe it! I wish you all a VERY Happy New Year!!!

Dear Forte,

Faith of any sort is healing, and that is one of the things that the Ps try to destroy in us—faith in ourselves, faith in the universe and faith in our God.

BAd things do happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people, but in the end, I believe that there is JUSTICE in more than one way, and on this earth and the one beyond.

My faith too, has been strengthened in my God and in my beliefs and faith in myself is starting to increase as well.

We are suvivors!!! We are stronger and better when it is all said and done, than those people who have never faced adversity.

Happy New Year to you, Too Forte!!! and God bless.


Oh Muldoon 🙁

Much worse than you hurting me and breaking your promises, and the lies if the fact that you keep hurting yourself by running back to him.

You let him get his way while you break my heart. How could you tell me you loved me for all of these months then take him back 🙁

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